Same Damn Road
by piratewench78
Summary: Deacon Claybourne is anxious to leave Natchez and put his difficult life behind him. But before he leaves, he falls in love, and that makes it all the harder. The same road that took him away from everything that was familiar - and Rayna Wyatt - brings him home again. Will it be the same? Or will things have changed so much they can't go back? Very AU Deyna story.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is going to be something really different. You may know that Chip Esten puts out new music #EverySingleFriday, which is pretty cool. One of his songs really resonated with me – Same Damn Road. It's about a young guy from a small town who wants to leave and does, leaving behind the girl. But eventually he comes back, hoping they can find their way back to each other. I couldn't help but think about it being Deacon and Rayna in a parallel universe, and I couldn't lose the idea, so here is a really AU Deyna story. Actually AU is probably an understatement, because this turns their history on its head. There will be many of the characters we know from the show – at least those that are part of Deacon and Rayna's story – but their lives will be very different. Storylines will track generally with backstory we know, but timing will be different. I'm intentionally not identifying when this all takes place because some of it will be out of order. Hope you'll indulge me.**_

* * *

 _Same Damn Road_

 _It ran right by the house I grew up in  
Right through the town I knew I was stuck in  
Took Mama to church, and me to the high school,  
Daddy to work and then to a barstool  
There was a stretch a Chevy could fly on  
Gave us a gravel shoulder to cry on  
I found you, girl, and then I let you go  
On the same damn road_

 _But the same two lanes that let me leave  
Are 'bout to bring you back to me  
I got out, but I want back in  
I'm prayin' maybe I could be your baby again  
And these four wheels that got me gone  
Can turn around and drive all night long  
I got lost, but I know my way back home  
It's the same damn road_

 _Flat and dusty, cracked and crooked  
A one-way ticket and this boy took it  
Mama cried, Daddy drank  
She filled my belly, he filled my tank  
Crossed my heart on those railroad tracks  
And swore to God I wasn't comin' back  
But oh, I guess you never know, 'cause..._

 _I was born to run  
So here I come_

 _There's a sign  
Just two more miles to go  
On the same damn road  
It's the same damn road_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

It was the first day of school at Natchez High School. Deacon heard the car horn being laid on out front. He rolled his eyes. "Deacon, get your ass out here!" his sister Beverly called out. "That Jameson jackass is gonna wake up the neighborhood!"

Deacon laughed to himself and put aside the guitar that was on his lap. _What neighborhood?_ _It ain't like there's anyone else out here in the sticks._ He picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, as he got up and walked towards his bedroom door. He headed cautiously down the hall, not sure if his father was home or not. He assumed not, since Beverly wouldn't have yelled otherwise, but he'd learned to be careful.

Beverly was sitting on the beat up couch in the tiny living room, the TV on but reading a magazine. She looked up when he walked in. He raised his eyebrows and she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "They're not here," she said, referring to their parents. It was not uncommon for both of them to be at one of the local dive bars all night long, although Lula Mae typically made it home. She might have already gone to work, he decided. He and Beverly had practically raised themselves, keeping a low profile as much as they could.

Deacon relaxed. "One day they ain't gonna come home," he said.

Beverly shrugged again. "Might not be a bad thing, ya know?" she replied. She sat up. "Don't be late coming home from school. We need to practice." She sighed. "I wish you'd just quit school. We could go ahead and head out and not have to worry about this place anymore."

Deacon knew it was more having to worry about their parents than the place. He and Beverly had been playing around town, singing covers anywhere that would let them in. It had been a good escape for both of them. Music made them forget their parents were drunks, their father routinely getting into nasty fights that more often than not would earn him a few nights in jail. Deacon was pretty sure their mother drank to dull the pain of being knocked around when Jed Claybourne got angry. He and Beverly protected each other, but they were ready to put it all behind them. "I'll think about it," he said.

Vince laid on the horn again and Deacon headed for the door. "Don't be late!" Beverly called out after him as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"You gonna practice with us today?" Deacon asked Vince as they crossed the student parking lot, headed for the school.

Vince grinned and jerked his thumb back towards his truck. "Got my guitar in back of the truck," he said. "So, how's it gonna be seeing Betsy?" he went on, changing the subject.

Betsy Randolph had been Deacon's girlfriend all of junior year, but he'd broken up with her over the summer, much to her dismay. He'd been avoiding her as much as possible, unnerved by her tortured neediness. He rolled his eyes. "I hope she leaves me alone," he said. "I ain't seen her in a couple weeks, so I'm hoping she finally got the message. She's so damn clingy. I just wanna play the field. It's senior year, buddy! Time to party!" He raised his hand and he and Vince high-fived.

"Hell, yeah!" Vince hollered and some of the other students looked at them, laughing and responding in kind. Vince pumped his arms and smiled around. "Seniors!" he roared.

Deacon had to laugh. Vince could be loud and obnoxious sometimes, but he was his best friend. They'd been buddies since grade school, thick as thieves. They shared a love of hunting and fishing and music, buying old used guitars back when they were twelve and teaching themselves how to play. Vince was going with him and Beverly, when they left Natchez to chase their dream. The three of them picked up gigs whenever they could, although Deacon and Beverly were the ones out front, Vince merely backing them up.

When they got to the school entrance, they separated, headed for different homerooms. "Catch ya at lunch, buddy!" Vince hollered as he jogged down the hall, chasing after the head cheerleader. Deacon waved and headed in the opposite direction. As he walked, he thought about what Beverly had said.

Life in the Claybourne house had never been easy, but as the years passed, Jed Claybourne was drunk more often than not. He was in and out of jail, mostly for petty things. He worked on cars, was a handy man and general fixer, but these days he had a hard time bringing in steady money. Lula Mae worked at the local WalMart, trying desperately to make ends meet. When she wasn't following Jed to a bar, hoping to keep him out of trouble, she was working, so almost never home. It was a hard life and Deacon and Beverly had spent their lives figuring out how to avoid their father's violent tendencies as much as they could, never being able to depend on their mother to take care of them. Getting out of the house – and Natchez – was their shared goal.

Beverly was the bold one of the siblings, Deacon content to be in her shadow. She was the one who stood up to Jed, although she often paid the price for that. But she'd always seen herself as Deacon's protector, although as he'd gotten older he was better able to take care of himself. She had always been the bubbly, enthusiastic one of the two, a quick smile on her face in spite of the darkness they lived with. Deacon was always the brooder, silent and introspective.

He was getting fidgety though. He had promised Lula Mae he would graduate from high school, but now that he was a senior, he found himself wondering why it mattered. His dream was to be a musician, an artist, to perform in front of big crowds. He'd gone to see Merle Haggard in Jackson and had been spellbound. Even though he sat in the nosebleed seats, he'd been filled with the music and the magic of the performance. That's what he wanted to do – be like Merle, up on stage, performing for a crowd of enthusiastic fans.

His and Beverly's plan was to leave Natchez and head north, probably to Memphis, and start playing clubs and bars, hoping to catch on with a regular gig. Their goal was to get noticed by someone who could help them get their career started. He kind of wanted to go to Nashville, but Beverly thought Memphis would be a better starting point. _Too many people just like us trying to catch on, in Nashville. We'd get lost in the crowd,_ was what she'd said. He wasn't sure he completely agreed, but she was so certain and he gave in. But his goal still was to get to Music City.

He rounded the corner and saw, out of the corner of his eye, Betsy Randolph, standing at her locker. Too late he realized she'd seen him too, but, to his surprise, she'd just looked at him coolly and then turned away. He breathed a sigh of relief. No entanglements for him this year. Just playing the field. He smiled to himself.

* * *

Deacon was waiting for Vince in the cafeteria. Just as his friend sauntered over with his tray and plopped down in the chair opposite him, he saw her. She looked a little lost, standing there with her tray in her hands, dressed in a prim little white sundress. She had light auburn hair that, as she stood in exactly the right spot where the sun shone down on her, looked like spun gold. She was too far away for him to see every detail, but he was sure she had freckles running across her nose and that, when she smiled, it would be a dazzling one and her eyes would sparkle.

"Hey, Deke!" Vince said, snapping his fingers in front of Deacon's face. Deacon turned and looked at him. Vince twisted around to see who his friend was looking at. He turned back and smiled. "The new girl," he said, with a chuckle. "She's got some country name. Reba, Reena, something like that."

Deacon frowned. "How do you know who she is?"

Vince shrugged. "She's in my history class. She seems like a princess, Deke, so probably too good for you."

Deacon made a face. Just then another classmate walked up to this new girl and spoke to her. And just as Deacon imagined, her smile was beautiful, lighting up her face. He felt a strange, unfamiliar quiver in his chest and he found it a little hard to breathe. He watched as she started to follow the other girl and then she glanced over his way and he thought his heart might stop beating. He imagined her skin was soft and that she would smell pretty, that her laugh would be like tiny bells, and her lips would taste like the finest whiskey. Her eyes had a dream-like quality as she looked at him. He fell in love with her without even knowing her name.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She smoothed her hands over the white eyelet sundress and then she ran her fingers through her shoulder-length hair. She could feel butterflies in her stomach. Everything about this place felt strange and uncomfortable. It wasn't that she'd never been here before – she and her sister Tandy had visited their father here on several brief occasions – but now it was permanent. She sighed then, feeling a lump in her throat. When her mother had died, her father had come for her and brought her back to his home in Natchez, Mississippi. She had wanted to stay with her Aunt Eleanor, but her father had told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was coming home with him.

So she was in a new home, going to a new school, where she knew no one. Actually, she knew one person, the daughter of the local bank president, who offered to show her around. Cassie was a nice girl, a cheerleader, so she was popular and assured Rayna she'd make friends easily. Rayna hoped so, because not only did she really miss her mom, but she felt so lonely and homesick for Austin, where she'd lived with her mother.

"Rayna!" she heard her father call out and she turned away from the mirror, picked up her purse and notebook, and ran down the stairs. Lamar Wyatt was standing in the foyer and he smiled as Rayna skipped down the steps. "Don't you look pretty," he said.

She blushed. "Thank you, Daddy." She hoped she looked okay. She didn't want to stand out or call attention to herself.

"Samuel is out front, ready to drive you. Bill Sommers promised his daughter would be waiting for you in front of the school," he said. "I'll see you tonight." He leaned in and pressed his lips lightly against her forehead. Everything felt so formal with him. She hoped it was just because they hadn't spent much time together and that it would change soon.

She nodded and then headed for the front door. Samuel was standing outside the rear passenger door of a dark gray Cadillac with tinted windows. She was a little embarrassed to be chauffeured to school, but she was grateful the car wasn't any more ostentatious than that. She smiled at Samuel and he nodded. Then she slid into the back seat, laying her notebook and purse on the seat beside her. She fastened her seat belt and sat back.

As Samuel glided down the long driveway, she gazed out the window. Her father had a large, bluff-top mansion, overlooking the Mississippi River. She wondered why he'd kept such a large house when he was the only one living in it. The grounds were lush and green, with large oak trees shading the drive. She knew this had been the house he and her mother had lived in, back before Virginia Wyatt had left Natchez with her two daughters and headed to Austin, Texas, following her lover-of-the-moment.

She felt tears burning behind her eyes as she thought of her mother. Virginia had been a free-spirited woman, both flighty and exotic, but also incredibly loving with her daughters. Rayna had a hard time imagining her and Lamar Wyatt together. Virginia was warm and engaging, Lamar so closed up and formal. She and Tandy had both been born in Natchez, lived in Lamar's mansion, but she had no memory of it. Virginia had taken them away when Rayna was three and she had only sporadically been back to visit her father.

Life with Virginia had been both exhausting and exhilarating. Most of the time she exuded energy and enthusiasm, with periodic times when she would hide away, in her darkened bedroom with the covers pulled up to her neck and the door closed. Rayna and Tandy had learned to embrace the highs and tread quietly during the lows. Virginia tossed aside the man she'd followed to Austin early on, but she never lacked for male companionship. Rayna closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the echoes of lusty lovemaking as they echoed through the small cottage they lived in, in a fashionable area of Austin.

When she got older, Rayna learned that both Lamar and Virginia came from wealthy Mississippi families. Lamar had been born and raised in Natchez, where the Wyatt family reigned over the area through Wyatt Industries. Virginia's family was from Jackson, earning their money in oil and gas. She was a high-spirited debutante and Lamar had been swept off his feet by her beauty, her enchanting personality, and her bank account. But something had happened and Virginia had fled, although she'd never divorced Lamar.

Tandy and Rayna had felt a little adrift as they grew up. Their father rarely saw them and their mother would often leave them in the house alone at night, while she frequented music halls and dive bars, drinking in the music and bedding her favorite musicians. The sisters were incredibly close, with Tandy taking on a motherly role towards her younger sister.

Rayna's memories of life with Virginia Wyatt were mostly good though. Virginia loved her daughters fiercely and they often spent hours on the banks of the Colorado River, in one of Austin's many parks, playing music and singing. Virginia instilled her love of music in her girls, primarily Rayna. More often than not, Tandy was their appreciative audience, claiming to have no musical ability at all. Rayna loved to sing, although she never felt like she was particularly good, and she loved writing poetry. She had brought notebooks filled with the poetry she'd written over the years with her to Natchez.

Tandy leaving for college in Houston had seemed to coincide with an uptick in Virginia's frantic lifestyle. Rayna still had many fond memories of time spent with her mother, but she also remembered the more frequent turnover of lovers in Virginia's life, as well as an increase in the dark episodes. When her mother was depressed, she would often crawl into bed with her and just hold her, praying that Virginia would throw off the heavy mantle of despair.

It had been late one night, after midnight, when a knock had come at the cottage door. Rayna had been anxious as she had been jolted awake and tiptoed past her mother's bedroom, but noticed Virginia wasn't home yet. She had peeked through the peephole in the door and seen two police officers outside and she had known in the pit of her stomach that something terrible had happened, even before she opened the door.

They told her Virginia had been in a car accident, a passenger in a car with a male driver. She always felt like there was something the police wouldn't tell her about the accident, but it really didn't matter, since the driver had crossed the center line, killing them both when he hit an oncoming car head on. They had taken her, shaking with sobs, down to the hospital. Virginia was already dead, so she sat and waited for Tandy to make the drive from Houston. Tandy was the one who'd called their father, who had sent his sister Eleanor to stay with Rayna, until he could make arrangements to bring her to Natchez.

Just then the car stopped and Rayna blinked, realizing she'd essentially blanked the whole ride out. She peered out the window at the school, a brick building that had an old plantation façade. She saw other students milling around the front walkways and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She'd been such a square peg in a round hole back in Austin and she wanted to fit in, not be seen as different or odd. Samuel started to open his door and she whipped her head around. "Don't," she said sharply. It would only make her stand out. She softened her voice. "I mean, it's okay. I don't need you to open the door for me." He nodded and she opened her door, stepping out.

She looked around again, frantically searching for Cassie Sommers' familiar face. When she saw the pretty blonde waving and jogging towards her, she looked back into the car. "Thank you, Samuel," she said.

"Yes, miss," he said. "I'll be here at 3:30." She closed the door and she heard the car pull away as she turned back and smiled at Cassie.

* * *

Rayna went through the lunch line and picked out a salad and some fruit. She had survived the morning classes. She sat in the front row of every class and watched her fellow students. Most paid no attention to her. The boys looked at her appreciatively, but then either headed for the back of the room or went and sat with other friends, loudly greeting each other. She was used to attention from boys, at least initial attention. But that usually quickly dissolved when they found out she was interested in country music and playing the piano, that she was socially very inexperienced and rather shy. The girls didn't look at her directly, but she could feel them cut their eyes over at her as they passed. That was normal too. They all saw her as odd, no matter how much she tried to be otherwise. She sighed, feeling like she wanted to cry.

Lunch would be better, she was sure. Cassie had promised to look for her and introduce her around, and she hoped that would help. She walked out the door and into the din of the cafeteria, filled with students. She stopped, waiting for Cassie to join her.

"Let's go, girl," Cassie's voice came from behind her and she turned to smile at her new friend. As she started to follow her, she could feel eyes on her. When she glanced over, she saw him. He had thick dark hair, just a little over his ears. Even from her distance, she could see he had bedroom eyes and those eyes were looking straight at her. He looked like he had a light fuzz on his face, but that just added to his rugged good looks. She thought his hands looked strong, but she bet they'd be gentle on her skin. She felt an unfamiliar warm curl deep inside her, just looking at him. She knew she should look away but she couldn't. She felt her lips curl in the tiniest of smiles and she was pretty sure she'd just fallen in love.

* * *

A/N: So what do you think? Like it? Love it? Not intrigued? I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Glad y'all are enjoying this. All reviews are appreciated.**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon hadn't seen the auburn haired beauty again during lunch. Vince had given him grief for trying to find her in the crowded cafeteria and he decided to give up. "What was that you said, Claybourne? You were gonna play the field?" Vince joked.

Deacon frowned. "I ain't planning to ask her to go steady. She could be part of playing the field," he said grumpily. But the truth was, if he were ever lucky enough to meet her and ask her out, he couldn't see it being a fling. He wasn't sure why he was so positive about it, but he felt deep down inside that she was meant for him. But he shook it off, for the time being, getting caught up in the usual male joking that went on at their lunch table. By the time the lunch period was over, he wasn't even thinking about her anymore.

He walked down the hall to his algebra class. He hated math, always had. He knew this year would be no different. He opened up the smaller notebook he always carried with him, the notebook he used to write down thoughts, ideas, potential song lyrics. Although he and Beverly did cover songs, he wanted to write his own music. He had yet to come up with a complete song, although he'd written verses here and there, sometimes with a chorus. He just kept at it, writing down his ideas and then setting them to music when he had a chance.

The red-headed girl came back into his thoughts and he found himself thinking about what it might be like to have a life with her. Even though he knew nothing about her, he was sure, based on her pretty smile, that she would be a genuine, caring person. Someone he could be happy with. The words came easily and he jotted them down quickly. _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me / And a family that always calls me home / Four wheels to get there, enough love to share / And a sweet, sweet, sweet song / At the end of the day / Lord I pray / I have a life that's good._

Just then a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Hey." He looked up and there she was. The beautiful girl he'd seen in the cafeteria. She was smiling and he could see, as he'd guessed, she had a sprinkling of freckles across her nose. Her eyes were a soft blue and looked hopeful.

He closed his notebook self-consciously. "Uh, hey," he responded.

She had laid her notebook on the desk beside him. "Do you mind if I sit here or are you saving it for someone?" she asked. Her voice was soft and sweet, with a cultured Southern accent. Vince was probably right and she was probably out of his league.

He nodded mutely, struggling with what to say. "Sure," he said finally.

She looked uncertain for just a second, but then she sat down, smoothing her white dress over her lap and crossing her legs at the ankles. She bit her lip and reached up to push her hair behind her ears. He caught his breath, thinking he wanted to kiss her right below her earlobe. She smiled again. "I'm Rayna," she said.

He smiled, thinking Vince had been right. She did have a country sounding name. "Rayna," he said. "That's different."

She blushed and he thought his heart would explode out of his chest. "I don't know where it came from. My mom really loved country music and I think she thought it sounded like a country music artist's name." She shrugged then and laughed. "Anyway, I'm new here. Just moved here this summer."

He grinned. "I feel like I should tell you I'm sorry about that. Natchez ain't that great of a place. Where'd you come from?"

"Austin, Texas. My mom, well, my mom died and I came here to live with my father." She sighed and he thought she looked a little sad. "It's really different here."

He nodded. "I lived here my whole life. As soon as I graduate, I'm leaving, though. This place is too small, too backwoods." He paused. "I'm sorry, I guess I never said my name. I'm Deacon. Deacon Claybourne."

She smiled then. "I like that name," she said. "It's a very strong name. And Deacon Claybourne sounds like a good country artist name." She breathed in. "I hope you don't hate country music."

He shook his head. "Nah. I play a lot of country music, actually. And I'd really like to be on stage like Merle Haggard."

She clapped her hands together and her eyes lit up. "You're a fan of Merle?" she asked excitedly. He nodded. She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes for a second. "He's one of my favorites. I'd really love to hear him live someday."

He could hardly believe his ears. Not only was Rayna pretty as a picture, but she was a country music fan _and_ she loved Merle Haggard. "I got to see him in Jackson last year," he said. "He was really great."

She opened her mouth as if to respond, when the teacher entered the room, calling the class to attention. She looked over and smiled at him, then looked back at the front of the room. He smiled too and then breathed in deeply. This Rayna was perfect.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna pretended she was listening to Cassie and all her friends at the lunch table. Although the girls seemed nice enough, they didn't really include her in their conversation. Of course, she wasn't jumping in either, but it still made her feel like an outsider. She let her mind wander to the handsome boy who'd been looking at her. He'd made her heart flutter. She wondered if she'd see him again. She only had three more classes and she hoped maybe he'd be in one of them. She found herself wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy with a scruffy face.

"Rayna?"

She suddenly realized Cassie was talking to her. She breathed in. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about some homework I have for tomorrow," she lied, as she looked at her new friend.

"I was wondering if you were planning to come to the football game Friday night," Cassie repeated, looking just a touch annoyed.

Rayna bit her lip. "I guess so," she said. "I've really never been to a football game before."

The girls looked shocked. "Really?" the bleached blonde girl sitting across from her asked. "I thought everyone in Texas went to football games on Friday nights."

Rayna took a deep breath. She always had to be home, in case Virginia needed her. But she didn't want to say that, so she said, "Oh, I went to a girls' school. They didn't have football." It wasn't true, but she didn't want to tell them she didn't know anything about football and, besides, no one asked her to go.

"Ooh, fantastic! We're all cheering, but we can come sit with you at halftime," the girl said. Rayna wished she could remember her name. She also wasn't sure how she felt about going by herself, but she guessed it was a start. She hoped her father wouldn't prevent her from going. They hadn't talked about any of this kind of thing.

When lunch was finally over, she made her way to her next class, which happened to be algebra. Math was her worst subject and she wasn't looking forward to it. That is, until she walked in the classroom and saw the handsome boy from the cafeteria. He was hunched over his desk, writing in a notebook. She noticed he was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and well-worn jeans, plus well broken in boots. She felt that warm little curl again and surprised herself by walking over to the desk next to his.

"Hey," she said, hesitantly. He looked up and she nearly melted right there. He was an old soul, she could tell, just by looking in his eyes. They had a well-worn look that seemed to indicate he'd lived a lot of life, even for someone as young as they were.

He closed his notebook quickly, as though he were afraid she'd see what was in there. "Uh, hey," he said. She nearly swooned at the sound of his voice, like the rich Tennessee whiskey she'd had sips of when her mother wasn't home. She suddenly wanted his lips on hers, all over her, actually, and that made her feel warm inside.

"Do you mind if I sit here or are you saving it for someone else?" she asked, praying he said she could.

He nodded. "Sure," he said.

A man of few words, she thought. Her whole body felt like limp spaghetti as she slid into the chair. Maybe things were actually looking up for her.

* * *

His name was Deacon. And he was so handsome. When he smiled, he looked a little shy, and he had this soulful look in his eyes that was mesmerizing. And he loved country music! She fell a little more in love with him when he said that. They kept stealing glances at each other and smiling conspiratorially throughout the class. Rayna couldn't have said what was talked about in class, because her mind was completely and totally on Deacon Claybourne.

When the bell rang to end class, she didn't immediately get out of her chair and neither did he. "What's your next class?" he asked, rubbing his hands on his thighs.

She threaded her fingers together on the top of the desk. "Spanish." She rolled her eyes. "My father thought it would be good to take. What's yours?"

He smiled a little shyly. "Study hall. Not that I'll do much studying."

"What will you do?"

"Write probably."

She perked up. "What do you write?"

"Songs," he said. "Well, I mean, I write down stuff I think of and maybe one day, it'll be a song."

"Do you sing?"

He nodded. "Me and my sister, we do gigs around town. Nothing big deal, but it's a start. And we're gonna go to Memphis or Nashville or someplace and start our careers."

She felt strangely disappointed by that. "Oh. Well, it's good to have dreams," she said.

He looked at her and then took a deep breath. "You should come listen to us sometime," he said. "We got a gig Friday."

She sighed. "I'm supposed to go to the football game." She paused. "I really would rather come hear you though."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?" She nodded. "Well, uh, how would we do that?"

"Where are you playing?"

"At the Mile Post, a honky tonk not far from here."

She bit her lip. "I'm not sure my father would take me to someplace like that."

He seemed to sag, but then he perked up. "Maybe he could drop you off at the football game and I could pick you up. I'll get you back in time for him to pick you up after the game." She wondered if that would work and she wondered about Cassie and her friends. Her uncertainty must have shown on her face, because Deacon looked disappointed then. "If you ain't interested, though…."

She shook her head. "No, I really want to come." She bit her lip again. "Are you sure you can get me back in time?"

He nodded solemnly. "Promise."

She smiled coyly. "Will you play your songs?"

He shook his head, smiling sheepishly. "Nah. I don't got nothing finished yet. We just do covers."

"That's okay. I'd love to be there."

He sat up straight then. "Great. Well, we'll figure it all out before Friday then."

She nodded. "Yeah."

He stood up then. "I guess we gotta head out."

She stood up too. "I guess."

She couldn't stop smiling as he walked her to her next class, giving him a little wave as she turned and walked in the door. She hugged her notebook close to her chest. She thought she might like Natchez after all.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon was leaning against Vince's truck when his friend came strolling up. "Hey, Deke," he called out congenially as he approached. "Hope you don't have too much damn homework."

Deacon shook his head. "Nah. Got most of it done in study hall anyway."

Vince slapped him on the shoulder. "Good deal. So let's head out." He went around the truck to the driver's side and they got in. "We meeting Beverly at the barn?"

Deacon nodded. Beverly's boyfriend let them practice in the barn out behind his family's house. It was a great space, plus Beverly could hang out with her boyfriend afterwards. Vince started the truck and edged out of his space and headed for the exit, getting in stop-and-go traffic with the other students leaving. Deacon rolled down his window and rested his arm on the window frame. It was still hot and muggy in Mississippi in early September and Vince's vintage truck had no air conditioning. Vince turned on the radio to the local country station and some old Johnny Cash came on.

After they got out on the road, Deacon turned to his friend. "Rayna," he said.

Vince turned to look at him. "What?"

"Her name's Rayna. Not Reba or whatever you said."

Vince looked puzzled at first, but then he laughed. "Oh, the princess in the cafeteria," he said.

Deacon frowned. "She ain't no princess. She's in my algebra class and she was…nice," he said.

"Oh, she's a princess, alright," Vince countered. "She's Lamar Wyatt's daughter."

"Who?"

"Lamar Wyatt. Wyatt Industries. You know. Richest man in Natchez. Has that mansion on the river bluff. That girl is serious princess material, buddy."

Deacon scowled. He realized then she hadn't said her last name when she introduced herself. If she was Lamar Wyatt's daughter, then it was no wonder she looked so fancy. "Well, she seemed nice. She likes country music," he said, a little mulishly.

Vince looked over at him and then he winked. "Aw, you gotta crush, ain't ya, Claybourne?" he teased.

Deacon shot Vince a dark look. "Shut up," he said.

"Hey, listen, word to the wise. She's a high class girl, out of your league. If she's acting interested at all, it's because she wants to do a little slumming with the poor white trash. Don't get your hopes up on that one." He smacked Deacon on the arm. "Just remember, you're playing the field. That princess ain't interested in this frog." He laughed then, as though he was impressed with his cleverness.

Deacon slumped down a little in his seat and looked out the window. Maybe Rayna was a high class girl, as Vince said, but he was sure she was genuine. He could see it in her face, hear it in her voice, especially when she got excited about him liking Merle. But he found himself wondering anyway. When she found out he was from the wrong side of town, she'd probably lose interest.

He scowled all the way to practice.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna couldn't stop thinking about Deacon. How lucky was she to have finally met someone who seemed to like the things she did. And she hadn't felt awkward talking to him. It had felt natural and comfortable, which was not usually the case for her with boys. She was not one of those girls who looked in the mirror at herself and pretended she wasn't pretty, but her looks had only taken her so far. Boys would show interest but, once they started talking to her, they quickly moved on. In some ways, that hadn't mattered. She'd wanted to stay close to home, in case Virginia needed her, and then Virginia's overt sexiness had always embarrassed her a little. She supposed she compensated for that by not cultivating that same vibe.

But Deacon made her want to come out of her shell. He'd been surprisingly easy to talk to and she could tell he was interested. The fact that they shared a love of country music, and specifically Merle Haggard, had seemed to ease the awkwardness that often came with first meetings. She was still daydreaming about him when Cassie came up behind her and linked arms with her.

"Hey, girl," Cassie said, with a big smile. "How was the first day?"

Rayna smiled back. "Good. I found my way around okay."

Cassie looked at her conspiratorially. "So…did any cute boys catch your eye?" she asked, with a wink.

Rayna could feel herself blush and she looked down, unable to stop smiling. "Well, there was this boy in my Algebra class. So cute." She looked at Cassie shyly. "His name is Deacon? Do you know him?" She was surprised, though, at the less than enthusiastic look she got from her new friend.

"Well, yeah, he is hot, but he's pretty much white trash, Rayna," she said, shaking her head.

Rayna frowned. "What do you mean? He looked okay."

Cassie shrugged. "Well, that's the thing. He _is_ a good looking guy, but he literally lives in the middle of nowhere. And his parents are both drunks, hanging out at the bars every night." She waved her hand. "Well, I guess I should say his dad is a drunk. I think his mom just keeps him company so he doesn't get into any more trouble than he has to. Oh, and his sister is a lunatic bitch. She graduated last year, so at least we don't have to deal with her craziness anymore." She looked back at Rayna. "I'd stay clear of him, if I were you. At least from the standpoint of him being dating material. Oh, and once he finds out you're a Wyatt, he'll just be after you for your money."

They had exited the school by now and Rayna squinted against the bright sunlight. All the things Cassie had said had made her feel sad. She thought he'd been so nice, so polite. She couldn't believe he wasn't genuine. He'd seemed so kind. She wondered what would happen now. Maybe she'd be going to that football game on Friday after all.

She saw the Cadillac waiting for her and she said goodbye to Cassie and walked to the car, feeling like she wanted to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

_**~Deacon~**_

"Y'all are late!" Beverly called out, as Vince and Deacon walked into the barn. She was standing with her arms draped around her boyfriend, Doug O'Connor.

"No, we ain't," Deacon said, glaring at her.

Beverly shrugged and disentangled herself from Doug. "Whatever. We need to practice. We got an hour set this time, so we need more songs."

Deacon was unpacking his guitar and looked up. "Let's do 'I'm Not That Good at Goodbye'," he said.

Beverly smiled, although the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "That one of them Merle songs?" she asked, with a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

Deacon frowned. "As a matter of fact, it is," he said. "Something wrong with that?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Nah. You gotta sing it though."

He leveled his eyes at her and shrugged back. "Done," he said. As much as the two of them had protected each other over the years, the dark aura that hung over their family had also done damage to their relationship, made them wary even of each other. They had argued a good bit about their plan to break into the music business as a duo. She had always been the more aggressive of the two and so he pushed back on her when he could.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What is up with you today?" she challenged. He hated that she could pick up on his moods.

"He's got a crush!" Vince called out from the other side of the barn, where he was waiting.

Deacon turned and glared at him. "Shut up!"

At the same time, Beverly sidled over to him and put her hand on his arm, a catlike smile on her face. "A crush, huh? Who's the lucky girl?" she asked.

Deacon glowered. "Vince don't know what the hell he's talking about," he fumed.

"She's the new princess of Natchez, Bev," Vince said, as he got up and walked over to where they were standing. He was totally ignoring the stink eye Deacon was giving him. He was annoyed at the shit-eating grin on Vince's face. "Lamar Wyatt's daughter."

Deacon took a step over to Vince and grabbed him by the collar, pushing him back up against the wall. "Shut the hell up!" he shouted, his jaw clenched.

Vince threw his hands up. "Hey, man, I'm just giving you the business," he said. "Cool down, bud."

Deacon shoved him one more time against the wall and then dropped his hands, turning and walking away. "I'm done," he said, as he walked out the barn door.

Beverly went running after him. "Don't you dare walk outta here!" she called after him.

Deacon turned to face her, continuing to walk backwards, his arms out to his side. "Whatcha gonna do? Fire me?" he shouted. Beverly just stood watching him and he turned around and walked all the way home.

* * *

No one followed him down the dirt and gravel road that led from the O'Connor's barn or on the two-lane blacktop road that led to the Claybourne's house a mile and a half away. As Deacon got closer to the house, his footsteps slowed. He never knew what might be waiting there. When he rounded the corner, he breathed a sigh of relief. The only vehicle out front was his old truck. Jed had given him the truck when he turned fifteen, one he'd repaired for a customer who never came back for it. It was an old '54 Chevy truck that looked beat up on the outside, but ran like a dream. As he approached the house, he thought about Rayna and what she might think about this.

He'd never seen Lamar Wyatt's house, but he knew all the rich people of Natchez lived along the bluff. The houses there were mostly well back off the main road, hidden by massive oak and elm trees, heavy with Spanish moss. The house he lived in was certainly nothing like that. The paint was faded and peeling. The porch sagged a little on one end. One of the windows was boarded up. Jed had put his fist through it and hadn't fixed it.

He walked slowly up the steps and opened the door. It was quiet inside. Four empty beer cans sat on a folding table next to the fake leather recliner Jed sat in, when he was home. The couch was a faded plaid, torn in several places. He closed his eyes. How he hated this place. There was no love in this house, except, he guessed, for whatever it was he and Beverly felt, trying to keep each other safe, being loyal to each other, but not really knowing much more than fear. Their mom tried, but she'd been beaten down for so long by Jed, both physically and emotionally, that she seemed to go through life these days as though she were in a fog.

He walked down the hall to his bedroom and shut the door, then threw himself on the bed. He thought about the fact that he'd left his guitar at the barn and hoped Beverly brought it home with her. He put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. He thought again about Rayna. He felt a lump in his stomach. He had really liked her, thought she was nice. She was so pretty, with her red-gold hair and those dark blue eyes. She had seemed like she really liked him too.

He frowned. What had Vince said? That she was probably just slumming with the white trash? He didn't want to think like that about her. But Vince was right about most of those rich girls. They'd go for a nice screw in the backseat of a car, but then wouldn't give you the time of day afterwards. He didn't want to think that Rayna was that kind of girl.

He'd have to be careful. Play it by ear.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna got in the backseat of the Cadillac and put her books down next to her. Samuel put the car in gear and headed away from the school. She turned to look out the window and sighed deeply. She wondered if every Mississippi town was like this one, where the haves and the have nots seemed so divided. She knew Natchez was a lot smaller than Austin and not nearly as cosmopolitan. It was an old Southern town with old Southern ways. That's what Tandy had told her and her Aunt Eleanor had not denied it.

She thought about what Cassie had said about Deacon Claybourne, that he was 'white trash'. In her mind, that was poor people, dirty people who weren't educated, who had no future. Either her impression was wrong or Deacon wasn't really white trash. He didn't seem stupid and he certainly wasn't dirty. He had on neat, clean clothes and he was well-groomed. She thought he was so handsome, actually. And he'd seemed really interested in her.

She felt that warmth inside when she thought about him. It was an odd and unfamiliar feeling, but she liked it. She had so little experience with boys, was so uncomfortable around them, but this had been different. Something made her think that Deacon was different from the other boys and she wanted to know him better. It sounded to her like he had a tough life, but he was polite and friendly. She decided she still wanted to know him better, in spite of what Cassie had told her.

* * *

She waited for her father to come home to eat dinner. It was almost seven-thirty when he came in the front door. She was sitting in the living room reading 'Catcher in the Rye' for English class. She dropped the book on the couch and jumped up, walking out to the foyer, where he was taking off his suit jacket. "Hey, Daddy," she said.

He turned to look at her and smiled. "Well, hey there, Rayna. How was school today?"

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She gave him a small smile. "I waited for you for dinner."

He walked over to her and put his arm awkwardly around her and kissed her on the forehead. "Well, thank you, sweetheart. Let's go see what we have."

While they were eating, Rayna brought up the football game. "Daddy, did you know there was a football game at the high school Friday night?"

Lamar paused and smiled at her. "As a matter of fact, I did. Do you want to go?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir, I do. Cassie and her friends said I could meet them there.

Her father smiled broadly. "I'm so glad you're making friends, Rayna," he said.

She swallowed. "Could Samuel drive me there and then come back and pick me up?" she asked.

"I think we can arrange that," Lamar said, with a gentle laugh.

Rayna smiled at him, feeling all tingly inside. She would tell Deacon the next day that if he still wanted her to come hear him play, she was all set.

* * *

Unfortunately, the next day, Deacon showed up to class late and then bolted from his seat at the end of class, without so much as a word or a glance at her. She wondered what had changed.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon walked into algebra just as the bell rang. He sat in his chair and stared at the board. He could see Rayna in his peripheral vision, just like the day before. He didn't trust himself to look at her. His chest hurt and it was hard to breathe, but he wanted to spare her from having to let him down. Actually he just didn't want to hear her tell him that she wasn't interested after all.

He could tell she was looking at him. She finally reached over to tap his arm. "Miss Wyatt, do you have a question?" the teacher asked.

Deacon looked down at his desk, as she jerked her hand back. "Um, I just needed a pencil," she said, her voice small. "I'm sorry."

He breathed out and then handed her his pencil, his eyes quickly looking into hers. He was surprised at the sadness and confusion he saw there. He turned back to face the board. "Thanks," she whispered, and he gave a curt nod.

When class was over, he again got up quickly from his desk, but she did too. He hurried out of the classroom and into the hall, but she was right behind him.

"Deacon!" she called out. He ignored her and kept walking. "Deacon!" she called out again, sounding annoyed now. She was still right behind him and she grabbed his arm. "Deacon, stop!" He turned to look at her. She looked confused. "Why are you ignoring me?" she asked, dropping her hand from his arm.

He stood there, looking at her, chewing on his lip. He still felt like he couldn't breathe. "I ain't good enough for you," he said finally. He had really hoped that if he ignored her, she'd move on. If her interest wasn't real, he didn't want that embarrassment and if it was, well, she could do better than him. She _deserved_ better than him.

She screwed up her face. "What? Why would you say that?"

He took a deep breath and let it out, looking over her head. "Because you're, you know, rich. And I'm not." He finally looked at her and frowned.

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously? _I'm_ not rich, Deacon. My father might be, but I'm sure not. And what does that have to do with anything anyway?" She actually looked pissed and he felt his heart sink.

"I ain't like you, Rayna," he said mulishly. "I'm just a poor guy who plays for tips at an old bar on weekends. I can't be like your fancy friends."

The pissed off look went away, replaced by sadness in her eyes. "Deacon, I don't care about that. I don't really have any friends here. I'm just trying to figure out how I fit in." She breathed in. "I really like you. I like that you like the same kind of music I do. I really want to hear you play that music. It doesn't matter to me who you are or where you come from."

He felt like he had a lump in his throat. "Really?" he asked, not sure he could believe it.

She smiled then, that pretty, sparkly smile. "Really. And I arranged to go to the football game Friday night. So I still want to hear you and your sister." The smile faded a little. "Unless you've changed your mind."

He thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He smiled at her. "Nah, I ain't changed my mind." She smiled again and he felt his heart beating a little faster. Suddenly he was looking forward to Friday again.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna felt nervous. She'd barely been able to eat anything. Her stomach was filled with butterflies. Deacon had assured her he would have her back to the game in plenty of time. He and his sister were only on for an hour and she'd be back well before the game was over. But who knew what could happen?

She had called Cassie and told her she had a headache and was going to pass on the game. Cassie didn't seem as disappointed by that as Rayna had expected, but she shrugged it off. That didn't matter as much as getting to spend some time with Deacon. She had dressed carefully, wanting to look like someone who was going to a football game, but also not look out of place with Deacon. She tried on at least ten tops before deciding on a white cotton top with cap sleeves and a lacy upper bodice that framed her neck all the way around. She slid on a pair of jeans that looked newer than she would have liked, but, as she looked at them in the mirror, thought they looked good on her. She really wanted to look nice for Deacon.

She sat down on her bed and put on a pair of cowboy boots. One good thing about living in Austin was that cowboy boots were the shoe of choice and hers were properly broken in. She added a leather belt and then picked up her shoulder bag. She looked at herself one more time in the mirror, running her fingers through her shoulder length waves. She smiled, a little shyly, at her reflection. She really did hope Deacon thought she looked pretty.

She hurried down the stairs, a bundle of nerves and excitement. Her father was waiting in the foyer and he smiled at her appreciatively. "You look nice, Rayna," he said.

She hoped he couldn't see her nervousness. "Thank you, Daddy."

"Samuel's waiting and he'll be there to pick you up at nine, just in case the game is over early. Enjoy yourself."

She smiled. "I will." And she ran out the door and down the front steps, climbing in the backseat of the car.

She could hardly sit still on the drive to the high school stadium. She kept crossing and uncrossing her legs, twisting her hands together and running her tongue over her lips. She didn't think she'd ever been this excited about being with a boy. _Deacon._ As she thought about him, a smile crept over her face. She wanted to run her fingers through his thick, dark hair. She wanted to touch his face. She wanted his lips on hers. She shivered and then she giggled involuntarily. Samuel looked at her in the rear view mirror. "Sorry," she said, and he looked back out at the road. Her heart was beating faster the closer they got to the school.

The drive seemed to take forever, but finally Samuel turned in and glided back behind the stadium. He stopped near the concession stand, as she'd asked. When she got out of the car, she looked around quickly and then she saw him, over in the shadows, standing beside his truck. She raised her finger as if to say _wait_ and she leaned back in the car to thank Samuel. She closed the door and then watched as he drove off. As soon as he was out of sight, she turned back and smiled at Deacon, then ran over to where he stood.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

"You're bringing who?" Beverly asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Rayna," he said, a touch defensively. "The girl from school."

Beverly raised her eyebrows. "Oh, the rich girl," she said, looking annoyed. "She does know you're just a country boy, doesn't she? With no money? And no prospects?"

He frowned at her. "Shut up, Bev," he said darkly.

An ugly smile crossed her face. "Oh, I get it," she said. "She knows you're from the wrong side of the tracks, but you haven't told her about what it's like being you, have you? She doesn't know all the dark Claybourne family secrets."

He walked up to her and stared down at her, grabbing her by the arm. Her smile faltered just a little and she took half a step back, pulling her arm away. "I said shut up, Beverly," he said. "Don't be rude to her."

She stepped back again and held up her hands, giving him an innocent look. "Who, me? I'm never rude, baby brother. But a word to the wise – you shouldn't let her think you're just a poor boy with a heart of gold. You and I both know you're anything but." She shrugged and walked away.

He watched her, frowning. But he couldn't help but worry a little that Rayna would be put off if she knew his real story. He was certain she'd had a cushy life and she wouldn't understand the harsh realities of what he'd lived with all of his. She couldn't possibly know anything about fear and pain and not wanting to wake up some days.

* * *

He and Rayna had arranged for him to pick her up at seven, when the game started. He knew she'd be there ahead of time, to make her cover story seem legitimate, that she was going to the game. He was going to be early though. He was too antsy to hang around the barn with Beverly and Vince. Besides, they had been teasing him about bringing her. Vince, he knew, was being his usual lighthearted self, but Beverly, despite pretending, was really not. He didn't understand why she felt threatened, or whatever it was she was feeling.

It was still daylight out as he drove down the road. This was the main road into and out of Natchez – everything was off this road one way or the other. This was the road that would lead him out of here one day soon. Except that now there was Rayna. He sighed as he thought of her.

Vince and Beverly were both right, she was really out of his league. She was pretty and sweet, with a little bit of fire to her, which he'd seen when she'd confronted him about why he was ignoring her. She was smart, smarter than he was, and he knew she'd challenge him, but in a good way. It had surprised him how strong his feelings were for her already and he sensed she felt the same. Which was what worried him the most.

His story was a painful one, as Beverly had said. It was hard to grow up in the kind of household he and his sister had, without some of that affecting him. He'd walked on eggshells around his father for as long as he could remember. Over the years, their mother had turned into a shell of herself, unable to protect herself, much less her children, leaving them to fend for themselves.

He fought against the demons that stalked him, but he knew he had a quick temper and that he often acted impulsively. He didn't hesitate to use his fists, often without considering the consequences first, something he'd learned from his father. He wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't seem to control it. At least he wasn't a drunk. It wasn't that he didn't drink at all, but he was careful not to go over the edge. He'd gotten very drunk one night with Vince and it had scared him badly.

And then there was the darkness, deep inside of him. The place he crawled into when he felt overwhelmed by life. He'd pull into himself, walk away. He'd done it to Rayna already – walked away instead of facing her and the possibility she wouldn't like him. The physical and emotional hurts he faced had made him wary of others' intentions and he'd had to protect himself.

He pulled into the stadium parking lot. There were already a lot of people there for the game. He and Rayna had arranged to meet over behind the concession stand, so he parked as close to that as he could, without calling too much attention to himself. He was nervous as he sat in his truck, so finally he got out, pacing back and forth, waiting for her.

He saw the Cadillac turn into the drive. He'd watched one day after school, seeing her get into the back of the car, like a real princess being chauffeured. He fought the urge to turn and leave, sure he didn't deserve someone like her, that he didn't deserve any kind of happiness in his life. But he was transfixed as the car approached, stopping behind the entrance to the stadium.

When she got out, he felt like his heart stopped beating. In his eyes, she always seemed like there was some glowing light around her, like she was a real princess. He saw her look around and then, when her eyes lit on him, she smiled. She raised her finger as if to say 'wait' and then he saw her lean back into the car briefly. She stood back up and closed the door and the car glided away from her.

As she watched the car drive away, he watched her. She looked beautiful, even dressed like she was, in jeans and boots. The fading sun caught her hair and it seemed like it was on fire around her. And then she turned, looking straight at him, and smiled, practically running towards him.

 _ **A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews! So glad you're enjoying this AU look at our couple.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**~Rayna~**_

When Rayna reached the truck, she looked up at Deacon and smiled. "Hey," she said.

He smiled back. "Hey." He took a deep breath. "You ready?" She nodded and he walked around to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door to let her in. She put her foot on the runner and he took her hand to help her up. When she felt the touch of his hand, it was electric. She noticed that he had calluses on his fingers, but his hand felt strong and sure. She settled herself in the seat as he hustled back around and got in the driver's side.

She looked at him. He was wearing a dark blue Henley shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes and jeans. His boots were scuffed and well-worn. She took a deep breath and let out a little giggle. "I can't believe I'm doing this." Then she looked serious. "You're sure you'll have me back before nine?"

He nodded. "It ain't but ten minutes to get here from there. We're on at seven-thirty, for an hour. So plenty of time to get you back."

She smiled again. "Okay. Good." She folded her hands in her lap, but she kept fidgeting with her fingers. He made her a little nervous, but in a good way. She guessed this was a date, although they hadn't talked about it that way. The silence seemed to stretch out and it made her anxious. "Have you been doing this long?" she asked, finally.

He looked over at her. "You mean me and Bev?" She nodded. "A year, maybe? A little longer? We been singing together a lot longer than that. We started out singing with my mom in the kitchen." He shrugged. "Beverly thinks we can make it as a duo. We got us a band and everything."

"Really? A band?"

He gave her a crooked smile. "Well, another guitar player and a drummer. My best friend and Beverly's boyfriend. But it works."

They pulled up to the Mile Post then and Deacon told her to wait. She couldn't help but smile as he ran around to her door to help her out. Again, he took her hand and again, she thought her heart would burst. She wondered what it might be like for him to put his arm around her. When she was out of the truck, he reached into the truck bed for his guitar case. With that in one hand, he reached out for her hand. She breathed in as she slid her hand into his and he closed his fingers over hers. She looked up at him and they both smiled at the other.

She was most definitely in love.

* * *

She hadn't been prepared for how really good Deacon and his sister were. He introduced her to Beverly, who seemed to be aloof. She remembered Cassie telling her Beverly was a lunatic bitch. Rayna just thought she seemed reserved. Deacon's friend Vince and Beverly's boyfriend Doug seemed like good guys, although she thought Beverly seemed to cling to Doug. Rayna hoped Beverly didn't think she was interested in Doug. He was nice enough, but she only had eyes for Deacon.

Deacon sat her at a table up front, so she had a good view. He bought her a Coke and she settled in to listen. He'd told her they did covers and she was impressed with the range they had, between upbeat country rockers and soulful ballads. She was mesmerized by Deacon's guitar skill. As young as he was, she could tell he was special. She focused on his fingers against the strings of the guitar. She wondered again what his fingers would feel like against her skin and felt hot thinking about it. She forced herself to stop daydreaming. She was spellbound by the music. Beverly did most of the leads, but his vocal harmonizing was amazing. She wondered what it would be like for him to sing just for her.

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Whenever he was at the mic, he would look over at her and she felt tingly all over. Occasionally he would give her a tiny smile and she would smile back. She'd never been to anything quite like this and she was so grateful to him for bringing her.

She clapped extra loud when he did the Merle Haggard song and then she gasped with pleasure when they finished up with one of her all-time favorites, 'Jackson', a song made famous by Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. The crowd wasn't large, but they cheered and applauded appreciatively. She waited as Deacon and the other boys packed up the gear. Beverly stood over to the side, watching, but Rayna caught her periodically looking over at her, with a frown on her face. It made her uneasy, because she couldn't imagine why Beverly wouldn't like her. But then suddenly Deacon was standing in front of her and she forgot all about Beverly Claybourne.

He reached for her hand and she stood up in front of him. "I know I need to get you back," he said. "We got just enough time."

She beamed at him. "You were so good," she said. "Thank you so much for bringing me."

She could have sworn he blushed. "My pleasure," he said. As she turned to walk towards the door, she practically shivered when she felt his hand on the small of her back.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon held his breath as Rayna approached him. _Damn, she's beautiful._ He could feel his heart still beating wildly in his chest. He couldn't believe she was actually going to go out with him. Although he wasn't sure it was really a date, he hoped maybe it would lead to that in the future. He could hardly believe how lucky he was.

* * *

He kept his eye on Rayna as he and Vince and Doug got set up. Beverly was huffing over to the side. "If you didn't have to pick up the princess, we wouldn't have to rush," she said angrily, under her breath, to him.

He looked at her sharply. "Shut up, Bev," he said, keeping his voice low.

She leaned into him, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "I don't know how long you think she's gonna want to hang out with you," she growled. "She's too good for you."

He stood up and Beverly backed off a step. He glared at her. "I said, shut up, Bev," he said, his teeth clenched. He didn't understand what her beef was with Rayna, especially since she didn't even know her. Beverly stared back at him and then turned and walked off. He took a deep breath and went back to setting up.

The owner of the Mile Post came over. "Y'all 'bout ready to go?" he asked.

Beverly smiled at him. "We sure are," she purred. Deacon cut his eyes over at her and she smirked back at him.

"Y'all are in for a treat," the owner said into the mic. "Back at the Mile Post, it's The Claybourne's!" The applause was warm and appreciative. They'd played here several times, always to positive reviews by the regulars.

Deacon took a deep breath and glanced over at Rayna. She was sitting forward with her arms on the table. She smiled at him and he gave her a small smile in return. He was feeling nervous now. He didn't want to disappoint her and make her sorry she'd come. He started to wonder if it had been a good idea after all to do this, but Doug counted them in and they started off with a Keith Whitley song. Since Beverly was singing lead, they'd revised the words for her, but Deacon always thought it was a great song for her voice.

 _I know you loved her a long time ago / And even now in my arms you still want her I know / But darlin' this time let your memories die / When you hold me tonight don't close your eyes_

 _Don't close your eyes let it be me / Don't pretend it's her in some fantasy / Darling just once let yesterday go / And you'll find more love than you've ever known / Just hold me tight when you love me tonight / And don't close your eyes…._

* * *

The set seemed to go quickly. Deacon had tried not to focus too much on Rayna, but every time he let himself look her way, she seemed to be staring at him, a dreamy smile on her face, which made him want to smile too. She seemed to be having a good time and he finally started to relax. All too quickly, they were walking out of the bar, headed for his truck. He put his hand on the small of her back and he could have sworn there was an electric current when he touched her.

When they pulled into the stadium parking lot, he felt sad the night was over. He'd been uncertain what to expect, but she'd seemed to enjoy it. She'd talked on the way back about the different songs they'd performed, what she'd particularly liked, and how they'd made her feel. He parked the truck and put his hands on his legs. She was sitting with her hands clasped in her lap and she turned slightly toward him.

"Thank you," she said, a little breathlessly. "That was so much fun."

He breathed in. "Really?"

She nodded. "You're so good. Well, and your sister too, of course." She looked down for a second, then back up. "I'd love to do that again."

He felt something warm roll over him. "We play again next Friday." He frowned. "There ain't a home game though. Um, you think your father would let me come pick you up?"

She smiled happily. "Yes!" she said enthusiastically. Then she bit her lip. "Maybe I need to ask first."

His heart sank. He felt sure Rayna's father wouldn't want her to go out with someone like him. He sighed. "I guess you could tell him I'm just a friend," he said, although it killed him to say that. "That it ain't a date."

Her smile faded. "It's not?" she asked.

Suddenly he was soaring again. "You want it to be?" he asked, hopefully.

She nodded. "I do."

He reached out for her hand, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "Then it is," he said. He gave her a shy smile. "Will you go out with me next Friday, Rayna?"

She smiled then, that radiant smile that lit him up from the inside. "Yes, I will." She looked around then. "I think I better get out." She grabbed her purse. "Thank you again, Deacon," she said. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he replied. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, leaning in and brushing his lips against hers. When she pulled back, her eyes had a dreaminess to them and she had a sweet smile on her face. "See you Monday?" he asked.

She nodded. "See you Monday," she said softly and then let herself out of the truck. She walked around the front and looked back at him for a second, raising her hand in a wave, then walked over to where she was meeting her ride.

He waited until she was picked up and the car drove out of sight before he put his truck in gear and headed for home. He felt like he was walking on air, something he'd never felt before with any other girl. Rayna was something special and he knew, without a doubt, that his life was never going to be the same again.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Cassie caught up to Rayna at the end of the school day. "So, I heard you sat with that Deacon guy at lunch today," she said.

Rayna could have sworn there was almost a sneer on her face. "Yes, I did," she said.

"And that the two of you were holding hands."

Rayna breathed in. "Yeah, I guess that's true." It _was_ true. He had walked her to class after lunch and then was waiting outside the door to walk her to their algebra class. She had actually been the one to slide her hand into his. It had felt warm and comfortable. It had felt right.

"I told you he wasn't our kind."

Rayna stopped and narrowed her eyes at the other girl. "What do you mean by 'our kind'?" she asked.

Cassie shook her head. "He's from the wrong side of town, Rayna. He's poor and his family is awful. He has nothing to offer you."

"You don't know that," she said. "Do you even know him at all? He's actually very talented and he works hard at it. And he's nice and polite and treats me respectfully."

Cassie lifted her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. "He'll ruin your reputation, Rayna. And I don't think you want that, this early into your time here." She started to walk off, then turned back to look at her. "I'm sure your father wouldn't want you spending time with him. Plus, if you do, I think you could lose your friends." Then she turned on her heel and walked off, leaving Rayna staring after her.

"What friends?" she said to herself. She stood there for just a moment and then slowly walked towards the front of the school. She thought about the things Cassie had said, as Samuel drove her home. She had always been the one on the outside, at the school she attended in Austin, and her dream had been to be popular and be liked by everyone. She was pretty sure she'd just lost that opportunity.

Then she smiled to herself. It was totally worth it to be with Deacon. She was pretty sure he was going to be the one who would completely change her life.

* * *

That night, as she and her father sat down to dinner in the huge dining room, she got up the nerve to tell him about her date. The dining room table sat fourteen, with six on each side and two at each end. The chandelier that hung over the table was a massive brass and crystal piece, the lights passing through the crystals to create a sparkling spectacular in the room. The table was large and heavy, as were the chairs. On the polished hardwood floors was a large Oriental rug that extended past the table in all four directions. There was a large buffet table that Rayna had never seen used.

Every night Lamar was home, he insisted they sit in the dining room for dinner. It was just one of many rooms in the house Rayna couldn't see her mother feeling comfortable in. Even though Virginia Jaymes had grown up in a wealthy family, she hated the pretense and the over-the-top extravagance. The cottage she had found for her and her girls was simple and cozy, so different from this place.

Lamar was sitting at one of the ends of the table and Rayna sat along the side. She dipped her spoon in the soup in front of her and brought it to her mouth, sipping it. She didn't understand why they had soup every night, when it was so hot out. She set the spoon down and looked at her father. "Daddy?"

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "What is it, Rayna?" he asked with a smile.

Suddenly she felt nervous and she put her hands in her lap and looked down. She took a deep breath. "Um, I got asked on a date Friday night," she said.

"You did?" She looked up at him then and saw he was smiling, which relaxed her a bit. "So who is it?"

"Um, his name is Deacon Claybourne. He's in my Algebra class. He's a senior."

Lamar looked thoughtful. "I see. I don't believe I know him."

She didn't really know how he could possibly know anyone her age. "Well, he's really nice and polite."

"Where is this date going to be?"

"He and his sister play music together and they're gonna be performing at a party. He wants me to hear them play. And then he'll bring me home right after."

Lamar sat back in his chair and looked like he was considering that. "He would pick you up then?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

He scratched his chin. "I guess there's no harm. But I would need to meet him."

She nodded and smiled. "Of course." She swallowed. "I think you'll like him, Daddy." He nodded. She wasn't sure at all if he'd like him, but she would tell Deacon to be on his best behavior.

* * *

When she lay in her bed that night, she had a hard time falling asleep. She was excited to tell Deacon the next day that they were set for their official first date. But this was really the first time she had liked a boy who really seemed to like her.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

If anything, he was more nervous this time than the last. Because this was a real date, where he'd asked her out and everything. Beverly, Vince and Doug had given him the business all week about it, but as the days wore on, his sense of humor about it wore dangerously thin. More than once he snapped back at his sister or pushed one of the guys. It was important to him. He wanted to impress not just her, but her father.

He made sure that what he wore that night was neat and clean, with no holes or tears. He cleaned up his boots as well as he could and even snuck a little of the after shave Jed never wore anymore. Fortunately, since it was a Friday night, both Jed and Lula Mae were gone. Beverly was waiting out front for him when he walked out with his guitar.

She gave him a once over and then a smirk. "Well, don't you look all spiffed up for the princess?" she said.

He scowled. "Stop calling her that, Bev," he warned. "I mean it."

She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. "Baby brother, you know I love you, but I'm real sure that once her daddy gets a whiff of you, he's gonna tell her you're off limits. People like us just don't mix with the rich folk."

He walked over and grabbed her arm. "You don't know nothing about me and Rayna. She don't care about that kinda stuff."

She glared at him and snatched her arm away. "I'm not talking about _her_ , Deacon." She turned away. "Just don't say I didn't warn you." She walked towards his truck and then turned back to look at him. "Are you gonna drop me at Doug's or what?"

He fumed, but stalked over to his truck, tossing his guitar case in the back and slamming the door after he got in. He drove as fast as he could, ready to get Beverly out of his truck.

* * *

As he drove out the road to Rayna's house, he started to feel more nervous. Despite what he'd said to Beverly, it was a big deal to him to date someone as refined as Rayna Wyatt. And that she would be interested in him. She lived a long way from where he did, in distance as well as in atmosphere. He started passing gated entrances and long, formal drives that signaled the part of town reserved for the elite of Natchez. He hesitated a moment before he turned into the long, winding wooded drive that led to the house.

When it came into view he was a little overwhelmed. It was definitely a grand house, with two story columns and a balcony above the oversized front door. The lights were on around the house, even though it was still daylight. He was embarrassed by his truck the minute he pulled in. He'd never worried much about the exterior, so long as it drove well, but he suddenly felt as shabby as he knew his truck was.

He hesitantly got out and headed around to the porch. He jogged up the front steps and then stopped. He took a deep breath and ran his hands down his jeans, certain they were wet with sweat. He breathed in again, then stepped forward and rang the doorbell. It took a moment before it opened, but instead of Rayna, he was face-to-face with a man he assumed to be Rayna's father. He didn't look happy to see Deacon there and he found out quickly his assumption was correct.

Lamar Wyatt was tall, with salt-and-pepper hair that was neatly styled and combed. He still had on a suit Deacon could tell was expensive. His eyes were narrowed, his lips in a straight line and his face was slightly red. "You must be Deacon Claybourne," he said, his pleasant voice obviously a put on.

He nodded nervously. "Yes, sir," he said as his heart dropped to his feet. Just then he saw Rayna run into the foyer.

"Daddy, stop," she said angrily.

Lamar just slightly inclined his head towards her and smiled, a smile that definitely did not reach his eyes. "I believe you think you have a date with my daughter," he said, his voice still calm. "But you're very mistaken, Mr. Claybourne, if you think I'll let you anywhere near Rayna. You aren't fit to chauffer her, in my estimation." His voice was low and measured, perfectly reasonable sounding even though his words were not.

Deacon could feel the anger rise up in him. "Stop it right now, Daddy," Rayna said, coming up behind him and looking beseechingly at Deacon.

The smile left Lamar's face then and anger replaced it. "I told you, Rayna, you were not going out with this…this ragamuffin. And you, young man" – he glared at Deacon – "you will get off my property now and never come on it again. You are not welcome here and you are not dating my daughter."

Lamar stepped back in the house and shut the door, but not before Deacon saw Rayna mouth the words "wait for me". And then she was gone, behind the closed door. At first, he wasn't sure what to do. He'd been so taken aback by the exchange with Rayna's father that his feet felt like they were encased in cement.

He wondered what Rayna meant by "wait for me". He thought it was unlikely she'd come out the front door, so he finally turned and trudged back down the steps and out to his truck. He got in and started it, turning it back towards the drive. When he got to the main road, he decided to pull over on the entrance pad. He breathed in and out, trying to control his emotions. He'd wanted to punch out Lamar Wyatt. He'd been sitting there for several minutes when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and then saw Rayna come out of the woods.

She waved and then ran to the passenger side and hopped into the truck. "Go!" she cried and he did.

When he was about a mile down the road, he finally looked over at her. "I thought he wasn't gonna let you go," he said, knowing she must have left anyway.

She looked over at him and smiled. "He didn't. I just went to my room and climbed out the window." She laughed. "The benefits of having a downstairs bedroom."

He smiled back and reached for her hand. "You sure about doing this?" he asked.

She nodded. "He's not gonna tell me I can't see you," she said. "There's nothing he can do to keep me from you."

He looked at her and smiled. His heart felt full of love for this feisty girl sitting next to him.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Again, Rayna stood in her closet, trying to decide what to wear. She finally settled on a jean skirt, with a gingham blouse, and boots. Once she was dressed, she posed in front of her full-length mirror, making sure she was satisfied with how she looked. Then she sat down at her vanity and started to apply her makeup.

It had been a weird week at school. Things with Deacon had been great. He'd walked her to most of her classes and they'd sat together at lunch. She liked him more and more all the time. But it was offset by the whispering and odd looks she got from Cassie and her friends. More often than not, if she started to approach them, they would snicker and then turn away. At first it hurt her feelings, but she decided she didn't like them much anyway and shrugged it off. It wasn't the first time she'd been the source of jokes and gossip. She'd learned to go her own way. Plus this time she had Deacon.

She smiled as she worked on her makeup. Thinking about Deacon made her all tingly inside. The feel of his calloused fingers against hers always ratcheted up her excitement. She found herself almost constantly thinking about how those fingers might feel touching other parts of her body. She was incredibly inexperienced, her main source of information being the romance novels she liked to read. More often than not, the descriptions of lovemaking and other activities made her squirm, both with curiosity and fear.

She would think about how it might feel to have Deacon touch her the way the men in her novels touched the women. She wondered how it might feel if he made love to her. And she would find herself looking at him sometimes, wondering what he'd look like with nothing on. Of course, then she'd feel embarrassed, as though he would know what she was thinking. It also made her feel hot inside. It was so confusing and she really had no one to talk to about it, so she would just pretend, as she read her books at night, that she and Deacon were the couple in the story.

It was almost time for Deacon to pick her up and she picked up a brush and brushed out her hair. Then she put on some lip gloss and smiled at herself. _A real date. With a really nice boy._ She shivered with anticipation, then got up from her vanity and picked up her purse. She opened her bedroom door and walked down the hall towards the foyer.

Her father was waiting for her there, his hands on his hips. "Hey, Daddy," she said. Something seemed not quite right. He looked almost angry.

"I'm sorry, Rayna, but you're not going out tonight after all," he said.

She frowned. "Why not? Did something happen to Deacon?"

He shook his head. "He's not someone you need to be spending time with, young lady. Your friend Cassie's father told me about him and he's not our kind, Rayna."

She scowled. This was the second time she'd heard Deacon described as 'not our kind'. "I don't even know what that means. And it's not Cassie's business anyway," she said angrily.

"She just has your best interests in mind," her father said.

"No, she doesn't. She doesn't even like me anymore." Rayna was furious. "I _am_ going out with Deacon tonight. And you're not stopping me."

Lamar pointed a finger at her and raised his eyebrows. "I most certainly am going to stop you, young lady." His voice had gotten louder. "Don't you cross me now. You will regret that, I can promise you."

Just then the doorbell rang and Lamar turned to open it. Rayna was horrified at the things he said to Deacon, who just stood there looking shocked and hurt. Just before her father shut the door, she caught his eyes and mouthed 'wait for me'. She hoped he understood she was still planning to meet him. A plan was already forming in her head.

Lamar turned back to her. "You can just go to your room, young lady. And there will be no more dating white trash like that."

She clenched her fists and glared at her father. "I hate you!" she shouted. "How dare you be so awful to him! He's never done anything to you. He's nice. And he likes me. You're just awful!" She turned and stomped back down the hall to her bedroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her. As soon as she did, she ran across the room, pushed open the window and climbed out, dropping a couple feet to the ground. Then she headed for the woods, running towards the road. She hoped Deacon was waiting for her there.

It felt like it took forever to get to the road, as she had to crisscross through the woods, stepping over branches and exposed roots, ducking under low-hanging trees. When she finally broke through to the grassy area near the road, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Deacon's truck. She smiled and waved at him, then headed for the passenger side.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: I'm going to start moving a little faster with the timeline.**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon kept driving. Rayna was quiet, her arms wrapped around her waist, her feet tapping nervously. He wondered if she was starting to regret sneaking out. He cleared his throat and she turned to look at him. "You sure about this?" he asked. "I can take you back."

"I don't want to go back," she said firmly.

He breathed out. "It don't seem like he'd be okay with you sneaking out. Do you…do you think he might send you away?"

"There's nowhere else to go," she said. She bit her lip and then turned towards him. "We'll figure it out."

He looked at her and tried to give her an encouraging smile. "Okay," he said. He kept driving as they crossed over the Mississippi into Louisiana.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

A smile twitched on his face. "We're leaving Natchez," he said.

She looked at him and then she laughed. "Is this where the gig is?"

He nodded. "Yeah. It's one of those hole in the wall kind of places, where everybody's a regular. We played here before. They like us."

"Do you make a lot of money doing this?"

He chuckled. "Hell, no. It's more because we love the music. We get tips mostly and those get split four ways."

She was quiet for a moment. "Do you really plan to leave Natchez to do music?"

He worked his lip. It had been the plan for a while, but she made him want to rethink that. "We been talking about it a while. Everyone wants to try." He sighed. "Me and Beverly, I mean, we been planning this a long time. She wants to go now. She's the one that's sure we can do it."

She nodded. "I think you can too, Deacon. You're great on the guitar and Beverly has a great voice. And so do you."

He shook his head. "I'm just the sideman."

She smiled at him, looking up at him through her lashes. "I think you could be more than that. When I heard you sing that Merle song, well, Deacon, you were just fantastic. You were as good as Merle."

"Nah, I ain't that good."

"Oh, yeah. You _are_ that good." He had to smile at how confident she was. He didn't have time to dissuade her, as they arrived at the venue. As they walked in, she slid her hand into his and bumped up against him, smiling. He couldn't help but smile back at her.

* * *

When they walked back out to the truck after their set, Rayna was bubbling over with excitement. "Y'all were just on fire tonight, Deacon," she said, holding onto his hand and skipping along beside him. "I thought y'all were great last week – and you were – but this was even better. I'm sure y'all will definitely get noticed somewhere."

He couldn't help but get caught up in her excitement. "You think so?" he asked.

She nodded. "I know so." They had reached the truck and he opened the door and helped her in. He put his guitar in the truck bed and walked around to get in. He looked over at her and was struck by how pretty she was when she was excited. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. Fortunately his truck didn't have a console and he slid over to her and pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips against hers. For a half-second she tensed and then she seemed to relax, sliding her arms up around his neck.

He pulled her closer, his hands around her waist. He slid one leg between hers, careful not to scare her into thinking he was going to take advantage of her. She was making little moaning noises deep in her throat that told him she was enjoying it, and he pressed a little further, taking her lower lip in between his teeth and gently tugging on it. At first she made a little noise, as though she was unsure what he wanted, but then she relaxed again and let her mouth fall open underneath his.

He moved one hand to her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. She was making those little satisfied noises that he later understood meant she wanted him to keep doing whatever it was he was doing. He slid his tongue in her mouth and touched hers. She seemed to gasp and her hands fluttered away from his neck for a moment, as though she were uncertain about the turn of events. He took it slow, trying, without words, to instruct her. It turned out she was a quick, and willing, student, and before long their kisses had deepened and she was arching her back slightly as she pressed against him.

When he finally pulled back slightly, she was breathless, her eyelids fluttering open. "Wow," she whispered. She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "I want to do that some more."

He chuckled and then he captured her mouth with his again and he was pleased that she seemed more comfortable and even that she kissed him back with the same fervor with which he'd kissed her. He knew he wanted more with her, but he sensed he would need to be patient. He couldn't have said why he thought so, but he knew that when the day came that she was ready to give herself fully to him would be the best day of his life.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Deacon pulled onto the approach at the head of the driveway. He turned out the truck lights, although he left the truck running. She turned to look at him. "That was amazing," she said breathlessly. "I really love watching you." She reached out and laid her hand on his arm. "Do you think, um, we could do it again?"

His eyes seemed to really be focused on her. She had noticed, in the time she'd known him, that he seemed like an old soul and that every emotion he felt played out in his eyes. He liked to think he didn't show his feelings, but she could see each one cross his eyes. She saw now a mix of pleasure and apprehension, as though he really wanted to please her but was worried about her father. She really liked that about him, that he was concerned for her. He worked his lip a second and then said, "You can go with me any time you want to, Rayna."

She smiled then and leaned forward, putting her other hand on his leg. "Good," she said. "Because I'm having fun."

He leaned towards her, capturing her lips with his. She tasted so sweet and she learned really quickly. Their tongues danced over each other and when they pulled away, they were both breathless. He reached up and ran his hand over her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. "You should go. Just in case," he murmured.

She nodded and pulled back, running her tongue over her lips and then reaching for her purse. "Okay. I guess I'll see you Monday?"

He smiled. "You will." She opened the door and slid out onto the pavement. She turned back and looked at him. "Good night, Ray."

She tilted her head slightly at the nickname, but she smiled. "Good night, Deacon," she said and then she shut the door.

* * *

It was a little harder getting back in her room than it had been getting out. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was twenty minutes past nine. _Not bad._ She hoped her father hadn't discovered she'd snuck out, but when she walked over and checked the door, it was still locked. There had been no lights on on her side of the house, other than a faint light she assumed was in the kitchen. She changed into her nightgown and robe and washed her face, then opened the door and peeked out.

She could see the light on in the library, at the front of the house. Lamar used it as a home office, of sorts, although the walls were lined with books, as expected in a library. She slipped out her door and padded down the hall to the kitchen. The light was on over the stove. She went to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of sweet tea. She had just set it on the counter, when her father's voice came from behind her.

"Would you pour me a glass too?" he asked. She jumped and turned around to face him, her heart beating out of her chest. She couldn't decide if his question was innocent or if it was meant to trap her.

Her hands were shaking and she clasped them in front of her. She wondered if he could tell she'd been kissing someone. She didn't think she looked any different, but she'd never kissed a boy like that before and she felt like others would be able to see something changed about her. "Uh, sure," she said.

He walked over and sat down at the small table and she turned back to the cabinet and pulled out two glasses. She poured the tea, breathing in and out, trying to calm her nerves. Then she turned and walked over to the table with the two glasses, setting one in front of her father and sitting at the other end of the table with her own. She took a sip, waiting to see if he would say anything.

He stared at her for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Rayna, I know you and Tandy have been without a father figure for quite some time," he began. "I hope you understand that I do take my role as your father very seriously and I just want to be sure you meet the right people and that you're spending your time with the right people."

She felt a sense of relief that he didn't seem to know she'd snuck out of the house. She breathed in and then took another sip of tea. "Deacon is very nice, Daddy," she said. "And he's very polite and respectful."

Lamar shook his head and frowned, waving his hand in the air. "He's not good enough for you, Rayna. I understand his parents are drunks and leave him and his sister alone most of the time." She started to protest and he put his hand up. "Just let me finish." He sighed. "I know I haven't been there for you and your sister. I also know your mother left the two of you to your own devices much of the time. I should have done something about it, but I didn't. So I am now. You're my daughter, Rayna, and it's important to me that you be safe and taken care of and that you have the kind of life you deserve. But that boy can't give you that. He'll never be able to give you that."

Rayna stared at him. It occurred to her that the one thing he _didn't_ say that he wanted for her was love. And that was the thing Deacon gave her. Or at least she thought he would. She took another sip of tea and put her glass down. "Daddy, I can take care of myself. I don't let anyone take advantage of me."

Lamar gave her a look. "He's a different kind of boy than you're probably used to." He tapped his glass. "I can't be there all the time, Rayna. I just want you to be careful about the choices you make."

She nodded. "I will, Daddy. I promise," she said.

He seemed to consider that. Then he got up from the table. "Goodnight, Rayna," he said, and walked out of the kitchen.

"Goodnight, Daddy," she called out after him. She surely didn't understand him. He was certainly stricter than her mother had been. But she wasn't going to give up seeing Deacon, even if she had to sneak around to do it. She finished her tea, then got up and, picking up her father's glass, went to put them in the sink. Then she headed back to her room.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon had been seeing Rayna for a little over a month when she told him her father would be on a business trip the upcoming weekend. "And he's leaving you alone?" he asked, puzzled by that.

She laughed. "I'm never alone," she said. "There's always people in the house, like the housekeeper and Samuel. Daddy's flying to New Orleans, so Samuel will take him to the airport and then he'll be at the house until Daddy flies home."

Deacon shook his head and smiled. "I ain't never heard of nothing like that," he said. It was so different from his own life. He knew Rayna chafed at the way Lamar tried to control her life, but it had been a long time since a parent had cared about what was happening in his life. His mom had until it seemed like she couldn't deal with life anymore. It was all she could do to try to keep out of his father's way, and caring about her kids didn't seem important to her these days.

They were sitting at the cafeteria table at lunch and she grabbed his hand under the table. "Well, it does mean we could go out both weekend nights," she said. "That is, if you want to. Or you don't have another date." She winked at him.

"You're the only one, baby," he said. "I promise." He rubbed his thumb over her hand. "We got a thing Friday night and you can come. Saturday's free though."

Her face lit up with her smile. "So we could go on a real date?" she said, excitedly.

He breathed out. "Ain't the others dates?" he asked.

She nodded and then shook her head. "Oh, yes, yes, they are. I meant we could go out and be alone together for the whole night."

He let out a little sigh of relief and smiled. "Yeah, we can do that." Just then the bell for the next period rang and they got up from the table. He took their trays and dropped them off, then walked back over to Rayna and, taking her hand, walked her to her next class.

* * *

Deacon picked up Rayna on Friday night, like he always did, except this time he was able to drive up to the front door and actually pick her up there. He had just reached for the doorbell when she opened the door, like she'd been watching for him. He had the feeling he got every time he was with her, that he couldn't believe she really was with him. That she wanted to be with him. For a moment he thought everyone was right, and that he didn't deserve someone like her. But then she smiled at him, that smile that told him she didn't care what everyone else said and that she was right where she wanted to be. He gave her a quick kiss and then, taking her hand, led her down to his truck.

Friday nights followed a familiar pattern. Since he and Beverly typically had a gig, they would drive over and Rayna watched their performance. Beverly had mostly stopped picking at him about Rayna, but she still hadn't warmed up to her much. Vince was the most friendly of the group and, since he often sat with them at lunch, he would often talk to her before and after their set.

Since they had more time this Friday night, Deacon hung around to help break down their gear and get it out to Vince's truck. When they were done, Beverly and Doug hopped up on the back of the truck bed. Beverly swung her legs and looked up towards the dark sky, lit up by a three-quarter moon.

"You know, people keep telling us how good we are, how we should be playing bigger places," she said, then looked back at Deacon and Vince. Deacon could see something in her eyes then, a mix of wishfulness and determination. "I can see us winning awards, having gold records, playing to sold out crowds. We just need to get to a place where we can get noticed. Strike while the iron's hot. That'll never happen in Natchez."

Deacon worked his lip a moment. He wanted it too, he couldn't deny that. They had talked about it for over a year and he wanted it for himself as much as wanted it for his sister. But now there was Rayna and he wanted her too. He breathed out slowly. It had been their dream for so long.

"But they like us here," Vince said.

Beverly rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know, but no record company people will come here. We have to go to them." She nodded at Deacon, her eyes narrowing. "But baby brother here, he wants to _graduate_ instead of be a star."

Deacon scowled. "That ain't true, Beverly."

Beverly spread her arms out. "Then what are we waiting for? All hanging around here is doing is prolonging this thing."

Deacon shook his head. "We can get better. What if we ain't really ready?" he asked.

Beverly smiled, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Everyone loves us, Deacon. I'm sure it'll be the same wherever we go."

Deacon breathed out. "I don't know. It don't hurt to work on getting better now. Plus we need our own songs. I ain't there yet."

Beverly took a deep breath. "I don't see you working much on that either, baby brother." She flicked her eyes over at Rayna, then back at her brother. "Besides, we all know why you really want to stay here…."

Deacon grabbed Rayna's hand. He hated the digs his sister took at her. "We're going," he snarled.

As they turned and headed for his truck, Beverly called out, "I'm just teasing you!" He knew she wasn't really and it pissed him off.

* * *

Since Rayna didn't have to get right home, Deacon suggested stopping by the Malt Shop for something to eat. Rayna wrinkled up her nose. "The Malt Shop? Do they have food?" she asked.

He laughed. "Sure they do."

"Well, it sounds like an ice cream place."

"It is. But they have food too. Burgers and stuff. If that's okay."

She nodded. "Sure, that's fine," she said and then she turned to look out the window.

They didn't talk much on the way and Deacon looked over at her periodically. He was pretty sure what Beverly said had upset her, but he wasn't quite sure what to say. When they got to the Malt Shop, she ordered a grilled cheese and he got a burger and fries. He ordered them both sweet tea. Rayna was sitting across from him, drumming her fingers on the table, not really looking at him. He reached out and grabbed her hands and she looked at him. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

She sighed and looked away for a moment, then back at him. He thought he saw the hint of tears in her eyes. "I hope you're not staying in Natchez because of me," she said. "Not when you want to go follow your dream."

He tried smiling at her. "Well, I do want to graduate. I promised my mama. But you're also a good reason to stay."

She gave him a tiny smile and this time he could see tears in her eyes. "I don't wanna hold you back, Deacon," she said, her voice shaking just a bit. "I want you to be happy. Following your dream. Doing what you should be doing. What you love." She threaded her fingers through his. "You really are good and you deserve a shot. I don't want you to give that up."

His chest felt tight. He didn't want to think about leaving her right now. He shook his head. "I ain't leaving until the end of school, so we don't have to even talk about that now, you know?"

She breathed in and nodded, trying to smile at him, and then laughing just a little. "I guess," she said. Then her look turned serious. "But please tell me when you're ready to go. I want you to follow your dream, Deacon. I really do."

"I know, baby," he said. Just then their food came and it broke the tension. They didn't talk about him leaving again, that night, but he knew one day they would have to. And he didn't know what he'd do then. She was becoming more and more a part of him, a part he didn't want to let go.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

On the way back to her house, Deacon pulled off the road onto an almost hidden drive. Rayna turned to look at him. "Where are we going?" she asked.

He looked over at her. "Just wait," he said. The road was a little wider than a one lane road, but was all dirt and gravel and secluded. All of a sudden, they broke out of the woods that surrounded it and Rayna realized they were right on the bluff, overlooking the river. Deacon pulled to a stop and turned off the truck. "Most people don't know about this place."

Rayna looked out the front window. It was dark, so the river wasn't really visible, but she could see dots of lights on the other side. "It's so deserted," she said.

He turned to face her. "It's a really good place to be alone," he said.

She smiled. "Yes, it is."

He opened the window in the back of the truck cab and retrieved something. He then handed her a can, keeping one for himself. She looked at it. "Beer," he said. "You ever had beer?"

She shook her head. "Tandy and I used to steal sips of Mom's whiskey sometimes, but that's it," she said. She popped open the can and put it to her lips. She took a swallow and made a face.

"You don't like it?" he asked, popping his own can.

She took another sip. "It's different from whiskey," she said. "It's kind of got a…a bread taste?" She took another sip, a bigger one this time.

He took a long drag. "It definitely ain't whiskey," he said. "You don't have to drink it all, if you don't like it."

She took another longer swallow. "No, I don't mind it," she said. And she didn't. It gave her a warm feeling inside, different from whiskey, but still pleasant. When they finished, Deacon took both their cans and tossed them into the truck bed. Then he slid over and put his arms around her. She linked her arms around his neck and smiled. "I think I like this place," she said.

"I thought you would," he murmured and started to kiss her. She loved the feel of his lips on hers and how his scruffy beard felt against her skin. She had learned how to kiss him with her tongue in a way that excited them both. He slid his hands down to the small of her back and pulled her in closer. She threaded her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. As her breasts brushed against his chest, she felt a tingle run all the way down to her toes and she heard herself moan a little. He pulled her in closer and she slid her legs over his so that she was almost sitting on his lap.

He dragged his lips from hers and ran them down her cheek and along the bottom ridge of her face. He nibbled on her earlobe and then ran his tongue just behind her ear. She moaned out loud and arched her back, pressing her breasts more firmly against him. He kissed her along her neck, then back up to the tender place behind her ear. She shivered with pleasure. At first she didn't realize he'd moved his hand, but suddenly she was aware he was fondling her breast, his thumb brushing against the fabric covering her nipple.

She pulled back and pushed his hand away. "What are you doing?" she said, her breathing ragged.

He was breathing hard too. "Just touching you, baby," he said. "That's all. Just want you to feel good."

She pulled back further and moved her legs off his. "I don't want you to do that," she said, although she realized she had actually kind of liked it.

He looked hurt, moving back over to the driver's seat. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. "But you felt so good."

She breathed in and out. "Did you get me drunk just so you could, you know, do something?" she asked, twisting her hands in her lap.

He looked at her for a moment and bit down on his lip. "You ain't drunk, Rayna," he said. "You just had one beer." She looked down at her hands. He leaned over then and put his hand under her chin, lifting it so she had to look at him. "All you gotta do is tell me no, baby," he said. "I ain't ever gonna make you do something you don't want to. I love you too much for that." His eyes got wide as he realized what he'd just said.

"Oh," she whispered and breathed in. Her heart was beating hard. "You said you love me. Did you mean that?" She held her breath.

He hesitated for just a second. Then he nodded. "Yeah," he said.

She put her hand over her wildly beating heart. "I love you too," she said, and then gave him a tiny smile.

He shook his head. "Baby, you don't gotta say it just 'cause I did."

Her smile grew. "I'm not. I really mean it." She reached out and put her hand on his cheek. "I love you, Deacon. I think I've loved almost from the minute I saw you."

He grinned then, his eyes sparkling. "Me too," he said. She slid over then and kissed him. Then he looked into her eyes, very seriously, and said, "Baby, I swear you don't ever gotta do nothing you don't want. I won't never push you." He ran his thumb over her cheek. "We got all the time in the world."

She nodded. "I know," she said. She took a deep breath. "Is it silly to think we could know we love each other this young?"

He cradled her head with his hands, his thumbs grazing her cheeks. "I don't think so, 'cause I feel the same way," he said. He leaned in and kissed her gently, then touched his forehead to hers. "I love you, Rayna Wyatt," he whispered.

She smiled. "I love you too, Deacon Claybourne."


	6. Chapter 6

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon walked up the steps to the front door of the Wyatt house. When Rayna opened the door, he stepped back, expecting her to walk out, but instead she asked, "Would you like to come in for a minute?"

He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Sure." He walked in cautiously, not sure what to expect. She stepped back as he walked into the foyer. He took a deep breath as he looked around. He'd never been in a house quite like this one. He looked down at the wood floor, at the huge rug in shades of red and blue and green and yellow. There was a grand, winding staircase in front of him that led to the second floor. There were doors that led to rooms, off either side of the foyer. He looked up at the ceiling, at the large, glass chandelier that hung above them. He looked back at Rayna. "Damn, Ray," he said.

She smiled. "You did it again," she said.

He frowned. "Did what?" he asked.

"You called me Ray. Like I was a boy." She didn't look mad, the smile still on her face.

He shrugged. "I'm sorry. I guess it's just like, I don't know, a nickname. Just sorta felt right." He put his hands up. "But I can stop."

She walked over to him and put her arms around his waist, smiling up at him. He slowly dropped his hands to her shoulders. She tilted her head slightly to the side. "It's okay," she said. "I actually kinda like it." She tilted her head back slightly. "But you're the only one who can call me that."

He moved his hands around her back and then pulled her in. He leaned down and kissed her, taking his time with it. She made that little satisfied sound as she kissed him back. When he reluctantly pulled his lips from hers, he looked over her head and around the foyer again. It made him feel small and insignificant. It made his chest hurt, knowing he could never give Rayna this, what she deserved. "I ain't never seen nothing like this," he said. "It's kinda fancy for me."

She laughed. "To tell you the truth, it's kinda fancy for me too," she said. She smiled at him, with that sparkle in her eyes and that warm glow she'd had the night before when she told him she loved him. He just hoped he wouldn't disappoint her someday. She reached up and put her hand on his cheek. "The house my sister and I lived in with Mom was a lot simpler than this. It's kind of hard to believe my father lived in this house by himself for all those years."

He held her close for a moment, then kissed her on the forehead. "We better go," he said. "Movie starts in an hour." She stepped back and then he took her hand, leading her out of the house.

* * *

Rayna was still laughing as they walked out of the movie theater, which reminded him how much he loved hearing her laugh. It made her face light up and her eyes shine and it made him love her more every time she did. She looked up at him. "That was a fun movie," she said.

He smiled at her. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" He put his arm around her and pulled her close and she put her arm around his waist. As they headed for the parking lot, he saw Cassie Sommers and another girl, with their dates. They were watching him and Rayna and he hoped she didn't see them. They'd been mean to her ever since she had officially started dating him. She said she didn't care, but he could see the hurt in her eyes and it made him angry. He tensed up and she looked up at him. "What is it, babe?" she asked.

"Nothin'," he muttered, trying to hurry her along. But she saw them. The two girls seemed to be talking and laughing as they looked over at the two of them.

"It's okay, Deacon," she said. "Really, it is. I'd rather be with you than with them." Her voice was genuine and sincere and he couldn't help himself as he leaned down and kissed her. He didn't care for himself, but he didn't want anyone hurting Rayna. But if she was okay with it, he was too. He smiled at her. "I love you, Deacon," she said. "I meant that."

He threw his head back then and laughed. "I know, baby," he said, and then he looked back at her. "I love you too, Ray."

* * *

They drove again to the secluded drive that overlooked the river. Rayna was holding his hand, but she was quiet on the drive. When he had parked, he turned towards her. "You okay, baby?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

She looked at him. "Yeah," she said.

"Don't let those girls bother you," he said.

She shrugged. "Oh, they don't. I mean, I guess at first it bothered me that they were so, I don't know, snobby, but I got over it." She smiled. "I really _would_ rather be with you."

"Seems like you been thinking something over though."

She nodded. "I have. I was thinking about last night."

He knew what she meant. He'd felt bad that he'd gone too far too fast. He didn't want to make mistakes with her. "Baby, I told you, you don't have to do nothing you don't want to. I won't do nothing unless you say it's okay," he interrupted.

She squeezed his hand and leaned towards him, giving him a tiny smile. "It's okay," she said. Then she bit her lip. "Maybe we could try that again."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Even though he'd said he loved her, Rayna hoped Deacon didn't get turned off because she hadn't let him feel her up. Even though he'd kissed her goodnight with as much intensity as he'd ever had, when she had let herself in the house and gone to her bedroom, she had felt strangely sad. She undressed and slipped on her nightgown. She tied back her hair and washed her face, standing at the mirror, slowly drying her face with a towel, as she looked back at herself.

She knew she was pretty, although it wasn't something she dwelled on. She'd been lucky and had inherited Virginia Wyatt's creamy skin and fair features. Her eyes were a dark blue and her hair was the perfect strawberry blonde. She had long, well-shaped legs and a small waist. The only thing she wasn't happy with were her breasts. Tandy had always told her how lucky she was to have full breasts, but Rayna had always wished she'd had Tandy's small, perky breasts. She always felt like boys looked straight at her chest and never considered the rest of her. It had only contributed to her self-consciousness and her lack of social skill with boys.

She'd grown up wishing she were more like Tandy, more self-confident and comfortable in crowds. But she'd always been the quieter one, spending her time reading or writing poetry. She loved singing with her mother and had been excited when Virginia had given her an old guitar she'd had for years. Rayna knew she wasn't very good with it, but she had enjoyed trying. When she walked back into her bedroom, she glanced over at the old guitar, leaning against the wall in her room. She hadn't touched it since Virginia had died. She wondered now if Deacon might help her with it. He was an amazing guitar player.

That brought her thoughts back around to him. Every time she was with him her lips and skin seemed to tingle. She thought again about how she'd pushed him away. It had scared her, the way it made her feel. She'd been afraid to tell Deacon that she'd actually kind of liked it. She knew it had a lot to do with her insecurities around how boys seemed to focus so much on breasts, and hers in particular, and she didn't want him to be like those boys. It seemed like most girls her age had gone to second base or even third. Sometimes you'd hear about a girl who'd gone all the way, but that scared her. Actually it all scared her.

She got into bed and wondered if she should be braver. Kissing Deacon and feeling his hands around her waist or her back felt so good. She loved kissing him, if she were truthful. She felt like she could just kiss him all day. She knew boys wanted more though. Even though Deacon had told her she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to, she wondered if he would change his mind about her if she didn't do _something_.

She rolled onto her side. She wondered if all these things would be like they were in the romance books she liked to read. She thought probably not, but Deacon seemed sweet and gentle. The look in his eyes when she'd pushed back had been filled with concern and caring, not disdain. And he loved her. That made her feel a little more comfortable. She considered that and then she considered that maybe, if she did this, he might want more and he might not take no for an answer. She bit her lip. She really hadn't known him that long and yet she felt like she'd known him forever. She believed him when he said he'd never ask her to do anything she didn't want to do. Somehow she just knew, deep down inside, that she could trust him.

They were going to a movie the next night. Maybe – just maybe – she'd think about letting him touch her again.

* * *

Deacon's eyes had widened with surprise when she'd suggested she was open to letting him touch her again. She felt an odd mix of apprehension and anticipation. She looked into his eyes and saw confusion, hopefulness, and maybe even a bit of wariness there. "You sure, baby?" he asked.

She bit her lip and nodded. "I think so."

He slid over in the seat and took her in his arms. She put her arms around his neck. "We can go slow," he said. "And you can say stop."

The look of love in his eyes was so intense it brought tears to her own. "I want to make you happy, Deacon," she said softly.

He kissed her gently. "You do, Ray. Just being with you makes me happy. I don't need nothing you ain't comfortable doing to be happy." He pulled her just a little closer. "I wanna make _you_ happy, baby."

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He responded and she opened her mouth to his, sighing deeply as his tongue invaded her mouth. She shut out everything except how it felt to kiss him and how it felt to be this close to him. She felt that warm curl of pleasure stretch out through her whole body and her skin felt like it was on fire. She gave herself over to the feelings and, in the back of her head, wondered when he would touch her again.

And just like that, as though he could read her mind, she felt his hand move from her back around to her side, then slide up close to her breast. There was a moment's hesitation and she pressed herself just a little closer, as if to say it was okay, and then she could feel his thumb move up the curve of her breast, the rest of his hand along the side. A quiver of something, she wasn't sure what, exploded like fireworks inside her. She felt herself hold her breath, everything seeming to freeze, and then Deacon pulled away, moving his hand down to her waist and pulling his lips from hers.

He leaned his forehead against hers, both of them breathing hard. "You ain't ready, baby," he whispered.

She was horrified when she started to cry. He put his hand on her cheek and wiped at the tears with his thumb. "I wanted to be," she cried.

He kissed her forehead. "I know. It's okay, though." He sat up and then shifted back against the driver side door, pulling her with him. She leaned back against him and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind, nestling his head against hers. "I ain't going nowhere, Rayna," he said.

That made her cry again. "But boys want that," she protested. "And they leave if you don't." She breathed in. "And they leave if you do."

She could hear his voice in her ear. "Somebody do that to you?" he asked, his voice soft and tender.

She shook her head. "No one ever wanted me that much," she said. "But they left my mom. All the time."

He took a deep breath, but was silent for a moment, just holding her close. Finally he said, "You wanna talk about it?"

She considered that for a moment, then said, "Mom took Tandy and me to Austin when I was three. You know, I was born here and lived here first, but I didn't remember any of it. Mom would let Daddy come see us in Austin, but she'd never let us come back here. I guess she thought he wouldn't let us leave. He hardly ever came to see us though, so I don't think she really had anything to worry about.

"Anyway, she left Daddy for a man. Something else I don't remember, because that didn't last. She was always bringing men home, though. I didn't really understand everything that went on until I was older, plus Tandy tried to protect me. She was really into music and she'd go out at night to bars to listen to music. She'd drink and smoke and drink some more. I'd hear her sometimes, coming home at night, and she would always be laughing, kind of silly laughing, and I could hear a man with her. So I stayed in my room, like Tandy told me. But it was really confusing. No one stayed around long and then Mom would get depressed and stay in her room all day, with the lights out and the curtains drawn.

"After Tandy went off to college, it seemed like it got worse. The good times were shorter and the bad times were longer. I wanted to cheer her up, but I couldn't seem to do it. The only time she was happy was when there was a man. And they always left her." She stopped, wiping away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"I ain't gonna leave you, baby," he whispered.

She tensed. "But you will. One day. Right? When you go with Beverly to start your career."

She felt him sigh. "That's a long time from now. Lot could change. Don't nobody know the future, for sure." He hugged her close. "Baby, if I leave, it won't be because you let me touch you. I love you. If you decide you want me to touch you, or something else, I promise I won't leave because of that."

"You don't know that," she whispered.

"I _do_ know that. I ain't like those men you told me left your mama. I ain't that kinda guy. And you're different. Special. I ain't never felt like this about nobody else. When I first saw you, I knew you was different. Better."

She was quiet, listening to him. She could hear, in his voice, that he meant what he said. She couldn't have said why she was so sure. She knew she had so little experience in the world, despite the life she'd lived with her mother. But she believed Deacon, could tell he was sincere, that he really meant it. She was conscious of his arms wrapped around her, so close to that place she wanted them to be. She had a moment of clarity where she knew she wanted more than just kisses. She was ready for more than that. "I'm ready," she whispered.

She could feel him catch his breath, but he didn't say anything. She put her hands on his thighs and started to move them up and down slowly. He kissed the back of her head and then slowly moved his hands to cover her breasts. She held her breath, but let herself feel their warmth, through the fabric of her blouse and bra. He hesitated, then gently began to move his hands in circles. She shivered as what felt like a bolt of lightning raced through her. She let herself breath through it and then a comforting warmth spread through her.

They sat like that for a long time. She didn't understand everything she was feeling, but she knew she liked it. Deacon made her feel loved and cared for. He was gentle and loving and took his time with her and it only made her love him more. She sighed happily and turned her face towards his as he nuzzled her neck. She really did want to stay like this forever.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He couldn't have said exactly why he knew Rayna was different, only that she was. As Deacon lay in his bed that night, his hands behind his head, he just knew everything was different about her. Maybe it was, as Vince always said, because she was a princess. Not a real one, of course, but, as the daughter of probably the richest man in Natchez, she lived in rarified air. She was certainly pretty and refined and well-mannered. She had a gentleness and a bit of shyness to her, although when she kissed him, she wasn't at all gentle or shy.

He thought maybe it was because she was someone you wanted to settle down with, make a life with, although, at seventeen, he would never have considered himself ready for that. But Rayna was real. He wanted to take care of her, the way he knew she would take care of him.

He thought back to that night along the river. She'd opened up to him about her fears and that had seemed to break down the barrier for her. The memory of holding her breasts in his hands, even if they were covered by her bra and blouse, had been intoxicating. His whole body ached for her, but he had made himself be content with discovering her shape and what made her breathe in sharply and moan. He had felt her nipples harden beneath the fabric and he'd found himself struggling to catch his own breath. He did wonder what she would look like naked, what she would feel like, but he was going to be true to his word that he would let her decide.

It wasn't really true though, what he'd said to her, about not being that guy who left a girl, who took what he wanted and then walked away. He'd done it before and hadn't felt bad about it. But he knew he'd feel bad if he did it to her, and he didn't really want to do that to her. He would wait, as long as he needed to, for her to be ready. And if she was never ready? He'd still be there, he knew that. Because she was worth it.

He rolled over in his bed and rooted around for his notebook. He found it, under the bed, and pulled it out. He raised up and balanced himself on his elbow, reaching for the flashlight on the table next to the bed. He shined the light on the notebook and flipped through the pages to find the song he'd started the first day he'd laid eyes on Rayna. _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me / And a family that always calls me home / Four wheels to get there, enough love to share / And a sweet, sweet, sweet song / At the end of the day / Lord I pray / I have a life that's good._ He'd decided that would be the chorus and had added to it since then. _Sittin' here tonight, by the fire light / It reminds me I already have more than I should / I don't need fame, no one to know my name / At the end of the day / Lord I pray / I have a life that's good._ That was his first verse. He was still working on the next one. It was his song for Rayna, for the life he wanted to have with her one day.

He rolled back over onto his back and sighed. He was leaving Natchez though. He'd promised Beverly and he owed her. But Rayna was right. Eventually he'd be gone and, even though he wouldn't be leaving because of her, he'd be leaving her behind. He wanted her, all of her, but he would still leave in the end. _She deserves better. She don't need someone like me, who would just hold her back._ He resolved then that as hard as it would be and as much as it would hurt, the right thing to do, when the time came, was to let her go. It didn't mean, though, that it didn't rip his heart apart, thinking about it now.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

When Rayna walked into the dining room for breakfast, she was surprised to see her father there. He didn't usually eat breakfast with her, having already left for his office. She knew he'd gotten home late the night before. "Hey, Daddy," she said and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled at her, but said nothing.

The housekeeper was standing by the table. "What would you like, Miss Rayna?" she asked.

"Just some toast and juice." The housekeeper nodded and hurried out. Rayna sat down to wait. She noticed her father reading through some papers in a file folder, so she kept quiet. The housekeeper was back quickly with her breakfast, setting it down in front of her. Rayna smiled up at her. "Thank you," she said. It felt funny having someone wait on her, but her father had insisted that was what they did. She had just put the toast in her mouth when her father closed the file folder and looked at her.

"So, Rayna, I understand you've gone against my wishes and been going out with that boy you brought here earlier." He looked angry and it did not go unnoticed that he had said the word 'boy' with great disdain.

She swallowed the toast, although it didn't go down easily. Her stomach was instantly in a knot. "Who told you that?" she asked.

He leaned forward, his eyes flashing angrily. "It doesn't matter who, young lady," he said. "But I told you he was beneath you."

She breathed in. She felt sure it was probably from Cassie's father. "You don't even know him, Daddy," she said. "Just because his family's not well off doesn't mean he's a bad person." She frowned at him. "Rich people can be bad people, you know."

"I don't care if he's a good or bad person, Rayna. I just know that he's not good for you." He frowned. "As I told you before, you need to be careful about the choices you make. He's not a choice that will be good for you in the end."

She was no longer hungry. She stood up and started for the door. "You haven't been around, Daddy, so you don't know whether I can take care of myself. But I had to do that for a lot of years. I think I can decide for myself who's good for me and who's not." She got to the door and turned back to look at him. "I'll make my own decisions about my life. You've never been there for me before. It's a little late to be doing it now." She headed for the door.

"Don't make an enemy out of me, young lady! You get yourself in trouble, don't come to me for help!" he called out after her as she stormed across the foyer, tears filling her eyes. "Don't you let him take you down with him!"

She picked up her purse and books at the door and walked out, slamming the door behind her. She was afraid he'd come out after her, but she waited alone on the steps until Samuel pulled the car around. She got in the backseat and turned to look out the side window, trying to regain control of herself.

"Here, miss," Samuel said. She looked over and saw that he was holding out a box of tissues. Embarrassed, she took one and turned back to the window, wiping her eyes, hoping she could calm down before she got to school and anyone could see her. As they got closer to the school, her resolution grew stronger that she would not let her father stand in the way of her relationship with Deacon. She was as sure about that – and him – as she'd ever been about anything else in her life.


	7. Chapter 7

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon was huddled in the corner of his darkened room, feeling nauseous. Next to him, Beverly was shaking violently. They were both struggling not to cry. The door was locked, but that would be no match for Jed, if he decided to come down the hall. They could still hear shouting, crying and the sound of breaking glass. Beverly flinched at every crash and Deacon put his arm around her, letting her bury her head in his shoulder. He closed his eyes.

Their whole lives had been like this, except that their roles had reversed. In the beginning, Beverly was the one protecting Deacon, but that had changed around the time he'd turned twelve or thirteen. He'd had a growth spurt and shot up over a head taller than his sister. He'd put on weight and spent time in the gym at school, working out on the old equipment there, building up his muscles. He was no match for Jed, though, who had fifty pounds on him and, even when he was drunk, packed a much more powerful punch.

It didn't happen every night. In fact, many nights could go by where Jed steered clear of the family by staying out in the garage out behind the house, working on cars or doing handyman jobs. He'd drink beer, which seemed to mellow him out more than it turned up the heat. But when he turned to whiskey, that was when he lost control. It was what caused him to end up in jail or to wreck the house or punch their mom. Deacon and Beverly had learned to steer clear and out of his way when he got like that, but sometimes they weren't quick enough.

They'd lived through their share of bruises and cracked ribs and black eyes. Lula Mae was the one who suffered the most. As the years wore on, she'd lost most of the feistiness she'd had early on that would allow her to fight back and to protect her kids. These days, if Deacon or Beverly were ever in the line of fire, her way to protect them was to try to pull Jed's attention to her. But when she wasn't successful, she would just look at them with an expression of remorse.

This was not the life he wanted to lead.

* * *

The next day, when he walked up to the school from the parking lot, he saw Rayna standing out front. She saw him and waved. He smiled. She looked so pretty, standing there, in a white blouse, that showed off her still lightly tanned skin, and a jean skirt short enough to show off her long slender legs. Her hair picked up the sun as it skimmed her shoulders. He loved that she wore boots, a reminder of her Austin days. She told him the other girls looked at her funny for wearing them, but she didn't care. It was one of the many things he loved about her, the fact that she blazed her own trail.

As he walked towards her, he was conscious of the lump in his throat and he swallowed hard. There she was, so pure and perfect, and he felt like such damaged goods. He thought about sitting in the dark the night before. When he and Beverly finally unlocked the door, the house was dark and silent. They had both breathed a sigh of relief that they had survived another day unharmed. But Beverly had grabbed his shirt sleeve and gotten right in his face, her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. _I don't know how much longer I can stay in this place. I can't wait forever. You can't let that girl mess with your head, Deacon. You just can't._

But it was too late for that. Rayna had already invaded his heart, taken up permanent residence there. He was torn, between chasing the dream of a music career or chasing the dream that was Rayna Wyatt. The smile she gave him as he walked up to her lit up her face. Her eyes were filled with love and he really had no idea how he would possibly be able to walk away from her. In fact, when he was with her, any thoughts of not being good enough seemed to be wiped away. She made him feel loved and wanted and it was truly the best feeling in the world.

He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She closed her eyes as she raised her face to his, letting him gently graze her lips with his. Then she opened her eyes and smiled at him, that dazzling smile that always made his heart turn over. "It's homecoming this weekend, did you know that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I guess," he said. He had noticed the decorations around the school the day before, but he never really paid attention to that kind of thing.

She did a little turn as she smiled up at him. "Well, the game is on Saturday. Why don't we go?"

He frowned. "You sure? Thought you wasn't really into football."

She linked her arm in his. "I'm not." She smiled one of her radiant smiles. "I'm into being with _you_ ," she whispered. He could feel his face get hot. She ran her fingers up and down his arm. "I want to go with _you_."

He sure couldn't turn her down for anything she wanted. He smiled at her. "Then we'll go," he said.

* * *

He was surprised to see Rayna waiting at his locker at the end of the day. He gave her a quick kiss and then opened the locker door and put his books inside. She put her hand on his arm. "I told Samuel that I had a meeting after school." She bit her lip. "I thought maybe we could hang out and you could take me home?" She looked at him hopefully.

Vince had a girlfriend these days, or at least for a little while – he rarely kept them around for long. So Deacon had been driving himself to school. He smiled. "Sure, baby," he said. He put his arm around her shoulders and they walked out to the student parking lot. As they headed for his truck, he noticed that fewer students paid them any attention anymore. Cassie and her friends seemed to have found something else to hold their interest and he was glad, for Rayna's sake.

When they got to their favorite spot, Deacon got out of the truck and ran over to Rayna's side to open her door. He reached in and, putting his hands on her waist, lifted her out of the truck. She put her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her and laughed. When he put her on the ground, she looked up at him. "You're such a gentleman, Deacon Claybourne," she said.

He could feel his face get hot. She just seemed to bring out something inside him he didn't know was even there. He wanted to treat her the way he thought she deserved. He took her hand then and led her around to the back of the truck. He let down the tail gate and then lifted her up onto it. Then he jumped up on it himself and they walked to the front of the truck bed and sat down on the pile of blankets he kept back there, both of them removing their boots. He put his arm around her and kissed her and she turned towards him, running her foot up his leg.

Even though it was early November, it was still warm in Natchez. But he reached for a blanket anyway and pulled it over them. Not that anyone had ever walked up on them, but he knew Rayna was more sensitive to that. She giggled and ran her fingers through his hair. "You're so good to me," she said, then leaned in to kiss him.

He breathed in. She looked so damn pretty, with her wavy red-gold hair and the freckles that ran across her nose and her deep blue eyes. He kissed her lips and then he trailed his kisses down her jawline and over to her ear and down her neck. He felt her shiver and make that little satisfied noise. He kept kissing her neck and behind her ear and then she moaned out loud. He ran a hand down her back and down to the small of her back. He rested his hand there for a moment, then slid it down over her ass. He pressed her a little closer to him, still trailing kisses down her neck.

She gasped and he stopped kissing her, looking into her eyes. "Oh," she said. He knew she could feel how much he wanted her, but he didn't want to scare her, so he pulled back. Her eyes seemed to turn a little darker blue and she bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, Ray," he said. "I didn't mean to…."

"Touch me," she said, her voice low and thick. He moved his hand to cover her breast. She shook her head. "Really touch me," she said. "Please."

He breathed out. His heart was pounding. "You sure?" he asked. She nodded. He reached out and slowly unbuttoned her blouse, then pushed it back, fully exposing her bra and the skin on her abdomen. He looked at her questioningly as he slid a finger under the elastic band of her bra, under her left breast. As he felt the swell of skin, he swallowed hard. She bit her lip and then nodded.

He moved his finger and then slid his hand around her back, locating the hooks for her bra. He swiftly unhooked them and the bra sprang forward, the underswell of her breasts exposed. He slid his hand back around and up over her shoulder, pushing her blouse down her arm. She moved her arm to make it easier for him to slide off the sleeve. Then she gazed into his eyes as he moved his hand back to her shoulder and slid the strap of her bra down her arm and then folded it over her right breast. He sucked in his breath and she shivered just a little. He put his large hand over her exposed breast.

She gasped with pleasure and he spread his fingers over her skin. He had been right – her skin felt like velvet and he could feel her nipple already starting to harden under his palm. He was mesmerized by her lush, full breast, and he could feel himself get hard again. He took his time exploring the curve of her breast and brushing his thumb over her rapidly hardening nipple. Her breathing got faster and more shallow and she started moaning softly. He looked up at her face and saw that her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open. She pushed herself into his hand and he moved in to cup her breast as he lowered his mouth to her skin.

She breathed out his name as he kissed her skin gently, then moving to pull her nipple into his mouth. She was starting to moan louder and writhing against him. He'd never felt like this with any other girl. All he wanted was to give her pleasure, any way she'd allow. He wanted to be gentle and not scare her, take it slow so that she would enjoy it. He moved his lips to the inner curve of her breast and then stopped long enough to move the rest of her bra so he could see both of her bare breasts. She opened her eyes then and he could see they were dark with desire.

She reached out and threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. He didn't want to push her and so he kept things gentle, as she sighed appreciatively. He finally stopped and balanced himself on his elbow, letting the back of his hand rest between her breasts. "God, Rayna, you're so beautiful," he breathed. "I ain't never known nobody as beautiful as you."

She drew in a ragged breath as she stared into his eyes. "That felt so good," she murmured. She shivered again, but he sensed it wasn't from any chill in the air and he felt his heart swell at the thought that he'd given her pleasure. She gave him a tiny smile then. "Don't stop," she whispered.

So he didn't.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

When Rayna was in bed, late that night, unable to sleep, she thought about how Deacon had made her feel. She'd felt sensations she'd never experienced before. It was more than just the touch of his hands on her breasts or his lips on hers, it was something deep inside that she didn't really understand. She did know that she wanted him like she'd never wanted another boy. She could tell he wanted her too and that had left her head spinning. She thought that maybe she wanted him to make love to her, but the idea of it scared her a little. She really wanted it to mean something. She'd watched her mother go off with any number of men, rarely keeping them around for longer than a few weeks or months. Rayna wanted a man she could love, a man who would love her back. Someone to have a life with, to come home to, to build something with together.

She knew she was inexperienced. She wasn't sure if Deacon understood how much, but he'd been so careful with her. He hadn't asked her to do anything other than go to second base. Thinking about it made her blush, but in a happy way. He'd told her she was beautiful. When he dropped her off in front of her house, he'd kissed her hungrily and told her again they would never do anything she wasn't ready for. She felt tears prick her eyes and thought she couldn't have loved him more.

She thought back to the experience that had frightened her when it came to boys, made her doubt herself and pull back. She'd had very little experience with boys before Deacon, mostly just some handholding and a little closed mouth kissing. But when Billy, the star quarterback, had asked her to a dance, she'd been over the moon. He was one of the most popular boys in school and she had been so excited. The date had started well, but when they'd gotten in his car after the dance, he'd pushed her back against the door and kissed her hard, pushing his tongue in her mouth and nearly making her gag. He'd pinned her down and forced his hand up under her sweater, pawing at her breast and pinching her nipples until she'd whimpered in pain. When he'd tried to put his hand under her skirt, she'd slapped him and he'd slapped her back, calling her a tease and worse. He'd then dragged her out of the car and left her in the parking lot. When she'd finally gotten home, she'd curled up into a ball in her bed and wouldn't leave it for days.

Deacon wasn't like Billy, though, she could tell. He'd been nothing but gentlemanly to her, which didn't surprise her, contrary to what everyone had tried to tell her. She didn't know how she knew it, but she knew he wouldn't hurt her. That he would respect her. She knew, with an absolute certainty, that he loved her the way she loved him. She felt that warm feeling she always did when she thought about him and that made her smile. She rolled onto her side and saw the moon shining through the gauzy curtains. She wondered if he were awake too, looking at the same moon, thinking about her.

Then she frowned slightly, thinking how little she really knew about him. She knew about his sister, of course, and she'd been told about his parents and that he was 'not her kind', but other than that, all she knew what she saw when she was with him. It wouldn't change her mind about him to know more, but she thought they needed to be open with each other. She wanted to know everything, even if it was ugly. It was time.

* * *

Lamar had gone to Memphis the day of the homecoming game, so Deacon got to pick Rayna up at the front door. He didn't like coming in the house, though, so Rayna waited for him on the front porch. It was a pleasant night, with a slight breeze. She knew it would get a little cooler by the time the game was over, so she brought a jean jacket with her. Deacon wasn't a huge football fan, but, having grown up in Texas, she had always enjoyed the spectacle, if not the actual sport. She was happy he was willing to go with her.

When she saw his truck heading up the drive, she stood up and walked down the steps to the turnaround. She smiled when he got out of the truck and came around to her. He was wearing a flannel shirt with his standard jeans and boots and she felt a warm tingle race through her body. _He's so dreamy._ She suddenly wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin and she wondered if he could read her mind. She could feel herself blush at the thought and tried to cover by throwing her arms around his neck so that he would kiss her. Which he did, of course.

"Hey, baby," he said, a smile breaking across his face as he let go of her lips. "You ready?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

* * *

The game turned out to be a close one and the homecoming ceremonies at halftime were entertaining, but Rayna found herself not paying much attention to the game or the surroundings. She focused on how close she got to sit to Deacon, their hips and legs touching, her arm linked through his and her fingers threaded through his. She leaned against his shoulder and he would rub his other hand on hers. At the end of the third quarter, she looked up at him. "I'm ready to go," she said.

He looked relieved. "Me too," he said.

When they got to their usual parking area, he started to open his door, but she reached out and put her hand on his arm. He looked back at her with surprise. "Wait," she said. "Can we just talk a little first?" He looked worried then. She shook her head quickly, then leaned in and kissed him. "I just want to know more about you."

He looked guarded then. "Like what?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Like your family," she said. She hesitated just a second. "Like your parents."

He frowned darkly. "Why you wanna know that? There ain't nothing to tell," he said. "Nothing good, anyway."

She reached for his hand. "Deacon, please," she said.

He looked away from her. "There ain't no need, Rayna. It ain't like your life."

Now it was her turn to frown. "You don't know anything about my life, either, Deacon," she said, and he turned back to look at her. "I know you think I live in my daddy's fancy house and that I get waited on and treated like a princess, but you don't know. I live in a house with my father, who's almost never there. It's not what you think at all. And it's not what my life _was_ like before either." She felt herself getting angry that he made assumptions about her. She let go of his hand and crossed her arms over her chest. "I told you my mom took us away when I was three. Tandy, my sister, was seven. We lived in a little bungalow in Austin, not even in the nicer part of town. My mom went out almost every night, leaving Tandy and me at home alone. She brought men home most nights." She felt herself getting teary and swiped at her eyes. "I loved my mom, but all she did was drink and have sex with other men. And when she wasn't doing that, she closed herself up in her room and kept it all dark because she was so unhappy.

"Sometimes she didn't come home and that was scary. We wouldn't know where she was or even how to find her. Daddy didn't seem to care about us. We hardly ever saw him and Mom wouldn't let us come to Natchez, so nobody knew what was going on. And when she would go to her dark place, there wasn't anything we could do for her." She looked over at him. "I get that your life may have been tough, but it wasn't all fairy princess stuff for me."

He slid over and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered against her hair. He was silent for several minutes before he spoke. "My father's a drunk," he said finally, his voice quiet. "You know that. And he's a mean one. I been scared of him pretty much my whole life." Rayna had a lump in her throat and felt the tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms over his. His voice was shaking as he continued. "It ain't always bad, but, you know, it is a lot. He gets really drunk and he hits us, whips us, sometimes for no reason. Beverly ran away once, stayed gone for three days, but he found her and he beat her so bad, it broke her arm." He cleared his throat and she suspected he was crying. "One night he threw a casserole dish at my mom and then broke her nose. He's whipped me within an inch of my life with his belt. Beverly too." He was shaking and she closed her eyes, horrified at what he was telling her. "He always says I'll be just like him, but I won't." He leaned his head against her. "I promise myself every day I won't be like him. I'm scared for what might happen to my mom when Bev and I leave, but I can't live like this no more."

Her heart ached for him. "That's enough," she whispered. She didn't want to make him have to say anymore out loud. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing for you to be sorry for, baby," he murmured in her ear.

She turned around to face him. "I'm sorry I made you tell me," she said.

His eyes widened and he got a panicked look on his face. "I didn't want to scare you, Ray," he said. "And now I done that."

She shook her head. "No, you didn't." She put a hand on his cheek, searching his eyes with her own. "I'm not scared of _you_. I just wish I could make it better."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "You do, baby. You're the best thing in my life." He put his hands on her shoulders and then leaned in to kiss her.

She put her arms around him, leaning in. "You're the best thing in my life too, you know," she murmured. She moved so that her back was against the truck door, pulling him with her. "I love you so much," she whispered, as he peppered her neck with kisses. All she wanted was for him to know that nothing else mattered except the two of them.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

"Finally! Here they are!" Vince hollered out. Deacon looked up from his guitar to see Beverly and Doug walk into the space where they rehearsed. He quickly looked away. They both looked flushed and a little giddy and Beverly still had a piece of straw in her hair. It wasn't that he begrudged her a relationship, but she was his sister, after all, and it sort of felt weird to know what she'd been doing.

She walked right over to him and sat down next to him, bumping his shoulder with hers. "So, baby brother, you got a song for us to listen to, I hear," she said.

When he looked at her, she had a smirk on her face, but her eyes were flat. He'd noticed that more and more these days. The smiles on her face rarely reached her eyes and the upbeat attitude she tried to have even in the worst of times seemed to have disappeared. He nodded. "Yeah," he responded.

"Well, I hope it ain't another one of those lovesick songs to your little princess." She rolled her eyes and got up.

He glared at her. He'd mostly finished the song he'd started right after he met Rayna, the one she seemed to inspire in him, about a life that was good, with a family and music and a future. But Beverly had dismissed it immediately. _I'm not singing some song you wrote for your little girlfriend. You need to come up with something meatier, more grown-up and less puppy dog._ He'd fumed about that for days, angry at how she'd dismissed something that had real meaning for him and that it had been for and about Rayna. He would finish it and play it for Rayna one day, but for the time being he'd tried to work on something less overt. "Shut up, Bev," he growled.

She shook her head. "So, what have you got, baby brother?" she said, ignoring his comment.

He breathed out, still pissed. But he pulled out the notebook page with the lyrics and music he'd been working on. He'd played it already for Vince, who thought it was great, but then Vince thought everything was great. He hoped it met with Beverly's approval though. He and Vince started the opening on guitars and then he sang the melody, although he saw it as a duet for him and Beverly, with it really spotlighting her.

 _Trouble loves you like a thief / Trouble fills a certain need / Tangles up the truth / Baby you're the proof / Trouble is a friend that never sleeps_

 _Seek and ye shall find adoration / Hold on for your life / 'Cause temptation comes in shades of white / But leaves you bleeding red / Trouble's movin' in_

 _Comes in every shape and size / Trouble wears a cheap disguise / And all the satin in this town / Can't wrap me up or pull me down / As fast as the look of desire in your eyes_

 _Seek and ye shall find adoration / Hold on for your life / 'Cause temptation comes in shades of white / But leaves you bleeding red / Trouble's movin' in_

 _Seek and ye shall find adoration / Hold on for your life / 'Cause temptation comes in shades of white / But leaves you bleeding red / Trouble's movin' in_

When he was done, he looked over at his sister. As hurt as he'd felt at her dismissal of his other song, he really did want her approval. Besides, he wanted to write songs and it was important that they be good. He felt a sense of relief as he saw a genuine smile break out over her face.

"Oh, Deacon, that was fantastic!" she cried out. "I can just picture doing that on a stage, just you and me and a spotlight." She ran over and threw her arms around his neck and he couldn't help but smile. "That's what I'm talking about right there! You need to write more like that." She reached over him and picked up the notebook page. "We need to start practicing this right now."

Deacon felt a warm sense of accomplishment roll over him. He knew it was just his sister, but her enthusiasm was encouraging and made him want to spend more time trying to finish out some of the other lyrics he'd started and then put them to music. For just a moment, he had a wistful feeling about the little song Beverly had hated and thought maybe, one night soon, he'd play it for Rayna.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was watching out the window of the living room. When she saw the Cadillac pull up the driveway, she squealed with excitement and ran out the front door and down the steps. Tandy jumped out of the car and raced into her sister's arms. "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe you're here!" Rayna cried. "I've missed you so much!" It was the week of Thanksgiving and Tandy was home for the holiday break.

"I've missed you too, sweetie," Tandy said, hugging her sister close. "I wish I could have come sooner." She stepped out of Rayna's embrace and put her hands on her sister's arms, smiling as she looked at her. "It's been such a busy semester and I just never had a free weekend."

Rayna smirked. "I think it was that boy you've been seeing," she said, with a wink. "What's his name again?"

"Charlie Hampton," Tandy said, with a coy smile. She put her arm around Rayna's shoulders and the sisters headed for the front steps. "I want to hear about this boy _you've_ been seeing, though. Is it serious?"

Rayna put her arm around Tandy's waist. "Yeah, I guess it is." She looked at her sister, a worried look on her face. "But Daddy doesn't know how often we're seeing each other, so don't say anything around him."

Tandy looked puzzled. "How would he not know?"

"Well, I've been sneaking out of the house. And when Daddy goes out of town, we see each other. And, of course, we see each other at school every day." Rayna rolled her eyes. "I mean, he knows we see each other, because the gossipy girls at school tell their daddies, and they tell him. But he doesn't know about the sneaking out."

Tandy was quiet for a moment as they walked up the steps and into the house. Then she turned to Rayna. "And you're sure he hasn't figured it out? He's not a stupid man, Rayna."

Rayna frowned. "I'm sure he'd say something if he knew, don't you think? And he hasn't been very nice about Deacon, so I think he doesn't know that." She walked away from Tandy towards the back of the house. "And if you're going to be negative too, then…."

Tandy ran up to catch Rayna by the arm and turn her around to face her. "I'm _not_ being negative, babe. I just don't want _you_ to get in trouble. And get _him_ in trouble. You know how Daddy is. He might make up something about him. Or threaten him."

Rayna made a face. "Good grief, Tandy, you make him sound like he's in the Mafia or something." Tandy just shrugged and that gave Rayna an uneasy feeling, but she shook it off, focusing more on the fact that her sister was in Natchez for the first time since their mom had died and Rayna had moved from Austin.

* * *

Tandy came and crawled into bed with Rayna the first night she was home, much like they'd done as kids in Austin. "So, how do you like Natchez?" Tandy asked.

Rayna made a face. "Well, it's not Austin, that's for sure," she said, with a grin. "There's not much to do here, other than football games." She laughed. "Not that I actually go to those, although Daddy doesn't know that."

Tandy raised her eyebrows. "What _do_ you do?"

"Samuel takes me and drops me off and Deacon picks me up and I go listen to him perform with his sister."

"He's a performer?"

Rayna nodded. "He plays guitar and he and his sister Beverly are a duo. They're really good, Tandy. They want to go see if they can make it in the music business." She sighed.

Tandy frowned. "What does that mean?" she asked.

"Well, one of these days they'll leave Natchez to see if they can make it as performers somewhere. That's what it means." Rayna looked at her sister, wondering how she hadn't been clear.

Tandy sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. "What does that mean for _you_? That's what I meant."

Rayna shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not thinking that far ahead. You never know what might happen."

Tandy looked back at her. "You're being careful, aren't you?"

Rayna's eyes widened. "We're not going all the way, if that's what you mean," she said. "He's a gentleman."

Tandy laughed. "No man is a gentleman, Rayna. They all want sex."

Rayna shook her head. "He told me we don't have to do anything I don't want to do."

Tandy sat back against the pillow. "They all say that too. But eventually he's going to want it. I'm just telling you to be careful." She turned to the side and turned out the lamp by her side of the bed. "I'm tired. Good night." She lay on her side with her back to Rayna, pulling the covers up around her neck.

Rayna just looked at Tandy's back, wondering if she was right. _Does Deacon really want sex? And if I'm never ready, will he break up with me? Will he use that as a reason to go ahead and leave Natchez? Or never come back?_ She felt a lump in her throat. She didn't want to believe any of that. She wanted to believe he was a man of his word, that he loved her enough to give her time and space. She was so sure he was the gentleman she'd told Tandy he was. But her sister was so much more experienced than she was.

She leaned over and turned out the lamp on her side, then lay back against her pillow, her eyes wide open. She didn't know what to do.


	8. Chapter 8

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon stood at the dresser in his room and opened the top drawer. He fished under the shirts until his fingers touched the small box. He pulled it out. He looked over at the door and listened. It was quiet in the house, which meant he had some time before things could go crazy. He sighed. He felt so conflicted. He'd wanted out of Natchez for as long as he could remember. He'd been counting down the days until he graduated. But Jed's drinking – and his temper – seemed to have ratcheted up in the past few months. Beverly was frantic to leave, worried that he could explode, and their chance would be lost.

But there was Rayna now. And that had changed everything. It had made him hesitate, wonder if there was another way. It was why he had bought the ring that was in the box he held in his hand. It wasn't an engagement ring – he and Rayna were both too young for that – but it was a promise. That he'd come back for her, if she waited. They had avoided talking about what was next, but he wanted her to know he meant to be with her.

Christmas was just a few weeks away and he was going to give it to her as a gift. They'd talked about whether to give each other something and decided, as long as it was small, they would. He looked back down at the box and wrapped his fingers around it. It wasn't fancy. Girls like her deserved more, but it was the best he could do, so he hoped she didn't mind.

He slid the box back under his shirts and closed the drawer. He stood with his hands flat on top of the dresser. _I'm damn lucky. Damn lucky to have her._ She was so different from anyone he'd ever been with. She was sweet, but she could also be feisty when someone crossed her. He was still amazed that she snuck out of her house to meet him. He hated that it was like that, but she seemed to enjoy the danger. Even though her father knew they were still seeing each other, they'd never tested his willingness to turn a blind eye. He smiled. It just made him love her more.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna went into her closet and knelt down on the floor in front of her shoe racks. She reached over them for the box that was hidden behind them. She pulled it out and put it on the floor next to her, moving to sit cross-legged in front of it. Tandy had taken her to the mall in Jackson before she returned to Rice after Thanksgiving. She had wanted to get Deacon something nice for Christmas. She had been scratching her head trying to think of just the right thing. He didn't have many interests beyond music – and her – and she couldn't decide what the appropriate gift might be.

One day at school, though, he'd dropped his writing notebook and had cursed when some of the single pages spread all over the hallway floor. She had wondered then if there weren't something she could find that would keep all of his music in one place. Luckily she had found it at the mall – a messenger bag. It looked masculine enough and it was just the right size for him to carry notebooks and pencils and anything else he might want to carry. She smiled to herself. She was looking forward to giving it to him.

She took the top off the box and then ran her hands over the bag. She breathed in. She thought about the fact that she might only have six more months with him. She knew Beverly was really set on them leaving Natchez. She was still pressuring Deacon to leave earlier and he mostly avoided any conversation about it. But Rayna could feel it getting ever closer. Sometimes she felt an overwhelming urge to cry when she thought about him leaving. Even in the short amount of time she'd known him, she had felt their souls connecting more and more, like tiny threads winding around each other, forming stronger and stronger bonds. She knew her heart would be broken when he did leave and she was already wondering how she would ever get over it.

She also thought a lot about what he'd told her about his family. They hadn't talked about it since the night he'd opened up to her and she hadn't pressed. Even though her own situation had not been traditional, she couldn't imagine what it would be like to live in fear. As much as she didn't want him to leave, she didn't want him feeling compelled to live in a dangerous situation. She sighed as she considered that it might be something that happened with his father that would be the catalyst for him leaving Natchez.

She reached for the top of the box and slid it back over the messenger bag. Deacon was a complicated soul, that was for sure. There was a darkness inside him, made up of hurt and pain and fear, that kept him on edge. She often felt afraid – not _of_ him, but _for_ him – and wished there was more she could do.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He felt nervous as he drove down the main road. Since Lamar was out of town, he was picking Rayna up. He wasn't nervous about seeing her, of course. He found himself wanting to be with her every minute of every day. He loved feeling the softness of her skin, smelling the light floral scent of her, hearing her laugh, seeing her eyes twinkle merrily at him, listening to her silken voice. His eyes flicked over to the box sitting on the dashboard. The box with the promise ring.

They didn't talk much about his plans to leave Natchez. Every time she went with him to one of his and Beverly's performances, the weight of that knowledge hung over them. Rayna always seemed a little more pensive those nights, held his hand a little tighter, watched him carefully with her eyes as he talked to her. He'd told her he'd come back for her, but this ring would be a tangible reminder of his promise.

Every time he thought about leaving, his heart felt like it was being torn in two. When he wasn't with her, he felt as though he wasn't good enough for her, that she'd be better off without him. But when they were together, he knew she was where he was meant to be. The feelings he had for her were unlike any he'd ever had and, in many ways, felt overwhelming. When he was with her, he often had the sensation that nothing else existed. It was as though the world around them faded to black.

As he pulled up to the entrance to the driveway, he noted that the gates were decorated with large wreaths and twinkling lights. If it weren't for Rayna, he probably wouldn't have even thought about it being Christmas. Certainly there were no decorations or Christmas trees at the Claybourne house. He drove slowly up the drive. The outdoor lights were on, illuminating the wreaths on every window and the tall lit tree in the large window on the right of the front door. He got out of his truck and had just gotten to the top of the steps when Rayna opened the front door.

"Hey," she said, with a smile. She had a festively wrapped box under one arm and she danced across the porch and put her other hand on his arm, tipping her head back for him to kiss her. He touched his lips to hers and then sucked a little on her lower lip, his arm around her. "Merry Christmas," she said, when he let her go.

"Merry Christmas, Ray," he said. He kissed her again. She looked so cute in her jeans and boots, along with the suede jacket and checked blouse she wore. Her hair lay in soft waves on her shoulders, just the way he liked it. "You hungry?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes!" she cried. He was taking her to the cheap little Italian place they liked, right on the edge of town. He would have a plate of spaghetti and she would have ravioli, most of which she'd leave on the plate for him to eat. Then they would go to their favorite parking spot along the river.

He took her hand and started towards the steps. "Let's go, then," he said.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Her father was traveling more these days and this was yet another weekend when he was out of town. Rayna never thought much about what her father did or why he traveled. All she knew was that it meant she and Deacon didn't have to sneak around to see each other, something she was grateful for. Not that Deacon wasn't worth it, because he was, but it was so much easier for him to just pick her up and bring her home.

Her gift for him was sitting on her bed as she got dressed. She smiled as she glanced over at the box wrapped in shiny red paper with a candy cane patterned ribbon and bow. She had spent a lot of time picking out the paper and ribbon and then wrapping it and it made her happy to look at it. As she sat on her bed to put on her boots, she thought about her conversation with Tandy after she'd bought the bag.

 _Tandy had linked her arm through her sister's as they walked to the mall exit. "So tell me again about this guy," she said. "How did you meet him?"_

 _Rayna smiled. "At school. I saw him in the cafeteria the first day and then he was in my math class."_

" _What do you know about him? And his family?"_

 _Rayna frowned then. "You sound like Daddy," she said. "Have you been talking to him?"_

" _Rayna, he cares about you," Tandy said soothingly. "He knows it's hard to start all over in a new place."_

 _Rayna rolled her eyes. "He doesn't know anything about that. He doesn't even know Deacon. If he wasn't so snobby and took the chance to get to know him, he wouldn't be so mean."_

" _It's just that you're only sixteen, Rayna. That's pretty young to get so serious with a boy."_

 _Rayna pulled her arm away and stopped walking, pulling Tandy up short. She glared at her sister. "Stop it!" she cried. "You don't know him either and you're taking Daddy's side. Why don't you think I know what I'm doing?"_

 _Tandy took a deep breath and then breathed out. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said then, looking contrite. "I guess I worry about you too and Daddy seemed worried." She tried a smile. "Why don't you tell me about him? I'm sorry I didn't let you do that."_

 _Rayna looked away, still feeling hurt. But she really did want to tell her sister about Deacon. She really had no one else. And so she finally looked back at Tandy. "He's really very sweet to me, Tandy," she said finally. "He opens doors for me and helps me out of his truck. He makes sure that I'm comfortable." She smiled a little. "He's very talented. He and his sister perform together and he's a fantastic guitar player and, even though he does mostly background singing, he's very good. He also is writing songs, so that they can do original stuff." She sighed. "I know his family life is tough, but really, Tandy, it's not so different from what we had, in some ways. And he doesn't let it get him down." She tucked her arm back in her sister's. "I think you'd like him. He loves me. That should count for something." She looked hopefully at Tandy._

 _Tandy looked at Rayna a moment and then finally smiled. "It does. If he loves you, that does count for something."_

Rayna sighed. It disappointed her how people were so quick to judge Deacon by superficial things. She knew her own life didn't have the anxiety and fear his did, but they both had suffered from having parents who abandoned them in one form or another. And although she could see the pain and sadness in his eyes, she also saw something else. The desire to do better, to _be_ better, to be a good man. He was determined to overcome his circumstances and she believed he would succeed.

What she knew more than anything was that there had been something powerful at work that had brought the two of them to this place at the same time. She knew that, in all likelihood, he would leave her, not because he'd want to, but to find that better life. But she also believed that whatever it was between them, it wouldn't die. It would always be there and that it was their destiny to be together, that eventually he would come back for her. She couldn't have explained why she felt that way or how she was so certain, but she knew it to her core.

She hoped someday that her sister would get to meet Deacon and understand how much she loved him. And why. She stood up then, breathing out the melancholy she felt, and checked herself in the mirror. She smiled at her reflection. Even though it was December, it was still warm out, but she picked up a sweater and wrapped it around her shoulders, just in case. Then she picked up the gift and headed out of her room and down the hall to wait for Deacon.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

They decided to go to their regular parking place, but he had brought his guitar so he could play the song he'd written for her. It was the same song Beverly had rejected, but he'd actually been okay with that. It was for Rayna and he felt protective of it in that way. They sat on the edge of the tailgate as he ran his fingers over the strings of his guitar. He was suddenly a little nervous about singing it for her, worried she might not like it or think it was silly.

"Um, this song is for you, Ray," he said and she smiled. "I mean, I actually wrote it for you. About you."

Her eyes widened. "Really?" He nodded and she hugged her arms around herself. "I can't wait to hear it," she said. He kept running his fingers over the strings, not starting the song, not looking at her. "Deacon?" He stopped the strumming and looked up at her. "I'm sure it's beautiful," she said softly.

He bit his lip. "Maybe it's too, I don't know, silly," he said, a little sadness tinging his eyes.

She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Sing it," she said.

He took a deep breath and finally started into the song. As he sang, he'd periodically look at her and then look away. As she listened, she felt her heart melt and it felt like she couldn't breathe. She was so touched by what he'd written. As he finished, she could feel the tears in her eyes and she thought there was no way she could love him more.

 _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me / And a family that always calls me home / Four wheels to get there, enough love to share / And a sweet, sweet, sweet song_

 _At the end of the day, Lord I pray / I have a life that's good_

He laid his hand over the strings and looked at her, his heart in his eyes. Her hand flew to her mouth and she caught her breath. "Oh," was all she could say at first. She saw an expression cross his face, as though he thought he'd disappointed her. "Deacon, that was beautiful," she whispered. And it was. His whole face changed then and he broke into a smile.

"You really liked it?"

She nodded. "Oh, yes!" she cried. "That was so amazing. When did you write it?"

He looked a little sheepish then. "I started it that first day I met you."

She crossed her hands above her heart and breathed in. "Really?"

He shrugged and smiled. "I was inspired just by looking at you," he said.

She couldn't stop the tears and she couldn't stop smiling either. "That's the best thing anyone's ever done for me," she said. She leaned forward and kissed him. "I can't wait to hear you up on stage, singing that song. To me."

He put aside his guitar and pulled her into his arms. "I love you, baby," he said.

She laid her head on his chest. "I love you too. And I'll remember this night for the rest of my life."

* * *

It was a warm night, with just a hint of chill in the air. Under the blanket, in the bed of the truck, Deacon unbuttoned Rayna's blouse and she shrugged out of it. He reached behind her and unfastened her bra. As he pulled it off, she shivered just a bit. He looked at her and frowned slightly. "You cold, baby?" he asked.

She shook her head and smiled. "No," she said, a playful look on her face. He smiled back and then moved his hand over her skin. She felt the jolt of electricity she always did when he touched her bare skin. He leaned over and kissed her, gently at first, then more insistently. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against his bare chest. After a bit, she felt him slide his hand down over her hip. She felt herself relax and she rolled onto her back.

His hand was flat on her upper thigh, but his lips hadn't moved from hers. She made a little noise as if to let him know she was fine. He pulled his lips from hers and looked down at her. The moon was almost full that night and was shining brightly. She looked into his eyes, dark and heavy-lidded. She breathed out and moved her leg just slightly. He moved his hand over her abdomen and then down between her legs. Even though she had jeans on, she felt a powerful surge of something she couldn't describe. All the tingly feelings she had with him seemed to zero in on that place and she felt an incredible heady warmth focused there.

"Oh," she whispered and bit her lip.

"Is that okay?" he asked, his voice quiet. She nodded and he bent down again to kiss her, lightly brushing his thumb over her. But then he moved his hand, sliding it up to her waist. His kisses grew more intense and her momentary confusion over what had happened faded away with the pleasurable sensations of his mouth on hers.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

When they got back in the truck, Deacon turned it on so that he could turn on the heat. It had gotten a little cool as they'd lay under the blanket and Rayna was shivering just a little. When he looked back at her, he smirked. "You're crooked," he said.

Her eyes widened. "What?" she asked.

He nodded towards her chest. "Your buttons," he said. "They're crooked."

She looked down and then laughed as she saw that she'd missed a button on her blouse. She fixed it and then she smiled at him. "Thanks," she said. She held his gaze for a moment and then she looked down at the floor of the truck. "I've got your Christmas present," she said, reaching for it, even though he'd seen it, of course, when he'd picked her up.

She handed him the package she'd carefully wrapped for him. He carefully unwrapped it and then opened the box. He sat and looked at the messenger bag for a moment, then looked up at her. "Wow, Ray, this is awesome," he said. He ran his hand gently over the front of it, then he frowned. "But it looks expensive. You shouldn't have spent a lot of money."

She shook her head. "I didn't," she said. "I mean, the money isn't important. I wanted to get you something to keep your notebooks and pencils in. It's not real leather, so you don't have to worry that it's too expensive." She bit her lip. "I wish I could have gotten you leather, though. One day I will."

He leaned forward and kissed her. "Thank you, baby. This is great." He set the box on the dashboard and then reached under his seat, pulling out a small box. He handed it to her. "This is for you. I hope you like it."

She took the box and smiled at him. "I know I'll love it," she said. He could see a softness cross her face. She opened it carefully and caught her breath. It was a beautiful silver band, with three little sparkly stones on it. She looked up at him. "Oh, Deacon," she whispered.

He took the box from her and pulled out the ring. "It's a promise ring," he said. He looked at her, his eyes filled with love and maybe a touch of anxiousness. "It means I promise I'll come back for you." He worked his lip. "Somehow, some way, I will come back for you. If you still want me."

Tears sprang to her eyes. "Of course I'll still want you," she said. She looked down at it again. "I love it." He reached for her right hand and slid the ring on her ring finger. It was a perfect fit. She held her hand out and admired the ring. "It's so beautiful, Deacon." She looked back at him. "I love it and I love you."

A smile broke across his face. "I wish I coulda got something better," he said. "Those are real diamond chips though, but 'cause they're chips, they ain't so expensive." He breathed in. "You deserve so much more, baby, but I wanted you to know I love you."

She smiled and reached up to put her hands on his face. "It's amazing." She slid towards him and then turned so she could lean against him, while he put his arms around her. She closed her eyes and leaned back on his shoulder. "This is the best Christmas ever," she murmured.

It felt good to hold her in his arms, breathing in the scent of her shampoo on her hair, feeling her curves and edges, matching his breathing to hers. But then she surprised him when she pulled away, then turned to face him, as she sat with her knees folded underneath her. She reached out and grabbed his shirt in her hands. "Make love to me," she whispered.

He hadn't expected that. God knew he wanted to. He felt like he'd gone too far with her earlier. Even though she'd said it was okay, he didn't want to put any pressure on her. He breathed in, wanting to say yes, but he had to shake his head. "I ain't ready, baby," he said.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was surprised at Deacon's response. She hadn't decided that's what she wanted until just then. It had been such a special night, with the song and the ring, and she just knew she was ready and it was right. "What do you mean, you're not ready?" she asked, a puzzled look on her face.

He rested his hands on her waist and looked searchingly into her eyes. "I want to, Ray, I do," he said. "But I ain't got, you know, nothing."

She was confused for a moment and tears came to her eyes. Then she realized what he was saying. She was oddly touched that he wasn't one of those boys with a condom in his pocket, always at the ready. That's what Tandy had told her. "Oh," she said. "I want to though. I'm ready now." The tears kept coming and she wasn't sure why. "I really do want this."

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon reached up and brushed the tears off her cheeks, then kissed her softly. "Baby, I want you to really think about this," he said. "I mean, I want you. All of you. I love you so much. But once we do this, we can't go back. So you need to be sure."

Rayna's face got screwed up. "I _am_ sure," she wailed.

"Ray, I'll love you no matter what. Whether we do this or not. I'll still be there."

She nodded. "I _do_ want this, Deacon. I wanna go all the way with you."

He smiled a little at how innocent she was about things. He knew she probably didn't fully understand what it would mean for them to take this step. He knew he wanted to make love to her more than almost anything else in his life. He loved her and wanted to show her. But it was a bigger deal for her, he knew. He just wanted her to be sure. He took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. "I love you, Ray," he whispered against her lips.

"I'm ready, Deacon," she whispered back. "I really am."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna slowly undressed and got into her nightgown. She looked at herself in the mirror, thinking about how close they had come that night to making love. She wanted it, she had decided, and not just because he had touched her between her legs and made her feel things she didn't understand. Somehow she felt like this one act would irrevocably tie them together forever. It felt inevitable, her and Deacon. Not just being intimate, but just being together. She needed that and she thought he did too.

She looked at the ring he'd given her. It was his promise to come back for her one day. It was how she knew he felt that same inevitability too. Taking this last step meant they would make that final commitment to each other. She meant what she'd said to him. _I'm ready, Deacon. I really am._


	9. Chapter 9

_**~Deacon~**_

He knew Rayna wasn't going to forget. She'd given him lots of looks throughout the week, made little comments here and there. And of course there was that day he'd walked her to her locker and she had turned to him and said "I hope you're going to be prepared this Friday. You know, like the Boy Scouts." He had stared at her for a second and then threw his head back and laughed. Like he was really going to be a Boy Scout. But he would be prepared. He laughed again, just thinking about it.

* * *

He'd thought about it every day. It seemed like, every time he and Rayna held hands, there was an electricity that hadn't been there before. Of course, there was always that warm feeling he had inside whenever he was around her and the speeding up of his heartbeat, but this was different. It was the electricity of anticipation. He wanted it to be perfect for her, although he wasn't quite sure what that would mean. More than anything, he just didn't want her to be sorry. This was important. _She_ was important. He needed it to be as good as it could be.

He couldn't do this in the back of his truck. Maybe, eventually, that would have to be the place, but the first time he just couldn't. He wished he had money to take her to a fancy hotel, someplace more appropriate for her. But he knew about the old hunting cabin out in the woods. No one knew who it belonged to and it didn't get used often, but there wasn't a lock on it and it was reasonably clean. It was the place he and Beverly would sneak off to when they needed to get away. It was where boys hung out to smoke and drink sometimes. It was really a shack, more than a cabin, but it did have a sleeping cot, and that was better than a truck bed.

* * *

Instinctively he knew he needed to be gentle with her, take it more slowly than he might want to. When he was older he would understand better how important it was to be romantic, to be careful to make the moment special, but he was seventeen and he didn't have a lot of experience and so he went on instinct. He undressed her, probably more quickly than he would have if he were older, and then he caught his breath at how truly beautiful she was.

Now that he could see all of her, he could see how perfect she was. Her legs were long and graceful, her waist small and dainty. She would complain sometimes about being 'over-developed', as she called it, but he thought it was all perfect. And every piece of her as a whole was just right.

She lay there, with her eyes half-closed and her mouth slightly open. He could tell she was afraid, not of him but of what was next. He knew she didn't know what to expect. He could tell she was trying to relax, but her hands fluttered over her stomach and her breathing was quick and shallow. He undressed himself and he saw her eyes widen and she caught her breath. He knew she could see how turned on he was by her and he saw her clasp her hands together tightly.

"Baby, are you sure?" he asked quietly, knowing that if she said no now, he'd be devastated.

"Yes," she whispered, sounding a little breathless.

He kneeled down on the cot and she looked into his eyes. He could see a little apprehension there and he hoped it was just because she didn't know what to expect. He lowered himself next to her on the cot, on his side. He could feel the skin of her legs against his and he also felt her tense ever so slightly as she could now feel how much he wanted her. He reached out and pushed her hair back from her face and she looked at him, her eyes still wide open. "I'll take it slow, okay?" he said and she nodded mutely. He moved his hand down to where hers were still clenched tight and he could feel her tremble. "You okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

She nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "I'm fine."

He kissed her first. He grazed his lips lightly over hers, until he could feel her stop trembling. He moved his hand up her arm and then over her shoulder and down her back, settling at her waist. He kept kissing her, finally tugging at her lip gently until she opened her mouth beneath his. He felt her put her hands on his chest as she let herself relax into the kiss. One of her hands snaked up and around his neck as she pulled him closer to her.

He finally heard the little noise she made when she felt completely relaxed and he could feel the tension start to drain out of her body. He kept kissing her, though, loving the taste of her mouth, wanting to give her time, and he ran his fingers lightly over her skin at her waist, enjoying the velvety smoothness. She pulled her lips from his and looked up into his eyes. "I'm ready," she murmured.

He nodded and then, not taking his eyes from hers, he slid one leg between hers and very gently nudged them open. He reached behind her and grabbed the condom. He shifted himself so he could slide it on, still not taking his eyes from hers. He wanted her focused on him. Then he kissed her on the lips and moved over on top of her. She breathed in sharply and then she sighed, drawing it out. He took that as his opportunity to enter her, slowly at first, so she'd get used to him. She made a small gasping noise and her eyes widened, but he kept slowly pressing in.

When he was completely inside her, he stopped and looked at her. "I'm good," she said softly, and he started to move. After a moment, her hips started to move in sync with him.

Her eyes were closed and she had a soft smile on her face, as he watched her. He couldn't take his eyes off her as he made love to her, listening to her whisper his name over and over. He bit down on his lip as he watched the tiny smile turn to a look of total satisfaction and then he found his own satisfaction, crying out, "oh, baby!"

When his heart slowed down to normal and his breathing evened out, he looked back at her as she lay beneath him. "You okay?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded. "I'm okay," she answered.

He rolled onto his side and pulled her into his arms. "I love you," he said, kissing her forehead.

She reached up and put her palm on his cheek. She looked searchingly into his eyes. "I love you, too," she said, then took a deep breath. "Please tell me you won't break up with me now," she said, worry filling her eyes.

He frowned. "Course I won't," he said. "Why would you say that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. My sister said lots of guys just want sex and then…."

He leaned in and kissed her fiercely. "I ain't lots of guys," he said angrily. "This is real, Ray." He saw tears in her eyes then and he reached up with his thumb to brush them away. His frown softened to concern. "I love you, baby. I ain't going nowhere."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

The reality of her decision to go all the way with Deacon was quite a bit different from how Rayna had imagined it. In her imagination it was like a dream, all puffy clouds and angels singing and feeling changed. The reality was that she did feel changed, but the emotions she felt were much more complex than angels and clouds. When she lay in Deacon's arms afterward and contemplated what they had just done, she'd had the sensation that nothing would ever be the same again. That they were now irretrievably connected.

She had never seen a naked man before Deacon. When he'd stood there, above her, before lowering himself onto the cot next to her, she'd been both terrified and aroused. As she looked at him, she'd felt that strangely powerful sensation deep inside her, down in her core. When he had laid next to her and she had felt him hard against her thigh, she'd been both nervous and intrigued. She had no idea what it would feel like to have him inside her and she had tensed up.

Clearly he'd realized that and he had been gentle with her, kissing her first, stroking her skin, helping her feel safe. She knew he wanted her. His heavy breathing and the moans he made told her how much. But she appreciated that he took his time and was gentle with her. When he finally moved to lay on top of her, he'd gently pushed her legs open with his knee. When he settled on her, his next move obvious, she had sighed deeply. She was ready and, without realizing what she was doing, she had moved her hips to press against him.

"Oh God, Ray," he had whispered against her lips as he moved slowly into her. There had been a moment of pressure and another moment of pain and then she focused her mind on the sensation of him. She instinctively knew that every time after the first time would be better and more satisfying, but this was special and she focused on remembering every sensation, every emotion, every touch, every sound.

She heard herself moan Deacon's name over and over, each time he moved inside her. With each thrust, she felt herself relax more and felt the sensations build, until they seemed to wash over her in a rush and she heard Deacon shout out "oh, baby!" before he breathed out in a whoosh and then looked into her eyes, as though searching for her reaction. She raised her head slightly and pressed her lips to his and then gave herself over to the sensation of his tongue against hers and his lips against hers. And she sighed again.

* * *

He told her he was taking her to a hunting cabin. It wasn't quite what she expected when she thought about a cabin, but she had to admit it was better than the back of his truck. Although she wouldn't have minded, wherever they ended up. Just to be with him was what counted. When she put on her nightgown that night, she looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look different, but she felt different. There was still a soreness between her legs, but it wasn't really that. She really felt like she'd given something of herself that she would never truly give to anyone else, and that he had given something to her that was equally as special.

It was more than just saying 'I love you' or promising to be true to each other. It was as though they were truly linked now, in a deeply intimate way. Her skin felt tingly, her senses felt heightened. She felt wrapped up in a blanket of love, warm and enveloping. Tandy had warned her that high school boys usually lost interest after the first time, but Deacon had been so fierce in promising that wasn't the case for him. He'd even made love to her a second time, as if to reassure her that it wasn't a one time thing.

And then they had just laid together, their fingers entwined with each other's, and they had talked quietly, about his music, about their feelings, about mundane things like school and homework. One thing they didn't talk about was what happened at the end of the school year, when he was supposed to leave Natchez with his sister. The reality of what they'd done together made that a subject they couldn't think about, much less talk about.

She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around her. She had thought she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He wished he didn't have to wait until Monday to see Rayna. It made him nervous, having to wait. He worried that Rayna would think about what had happened and regret it or wish she'd waited longer. He was afraid she would be scared off. She wasn't the first girl he'd had sex with, of course, but she was the first one who mattered. He'd gone out with Betsy Randolph for almost a year and they'd had sex for most of that time. But, with Betsy, it was more satisfying a need and less a feeling of connection.

When he thought back on it, he wasn't even sure Betsy enjoyed it. Oh, she made the right noises, but it was mostly him doing the work. He liked the sex, was glad to have a willing someone, but it never felt like it had with Rayna. He shook his head, as though he was trying to rid himself of any memories of Betsy. He didn't want to compare Rayna to any of that. With her, even though it was her first time, it had felt special and different. He thought more about her than he did about himself.

He picked up his guitar and his messenger bag and walked out into the woods. He kept walking until he could no longer see the house and then sat on the ground, leaning back against a tree. He pulled out a notebook and pencil and closed his eyes, thinking. His thoughts were almost always about Rayna, about being with her, about not being with her. When life was tough, which was most of the time, thinking about her helped settle him, helped bring him back to what was important. She made him imagine a different life, a better life.

He began jotting down words in his notebook, then scratching out and rewriting. At one point, he found himself hoping this songwriting thing got easier with practice. He'd only written two complete songs and those had seemed to take forever. If he was going to make any kind of living as a songwriter, it had to get faster.

He suddenly realized that it was nearly dusk. Nighttime came earlier this time of year. He picked up his notebook and looked over what he had finally ended up with. _A verse and a chorus._ Didn't seem like much for this much effort. He read through the words again.

 _Sometimes it feels like I'm so far away / Like everything I love has lost its place / When life gets the best of me, I just close my eyes and see_

 _Fireflies dancing in the yard under the blanket of stars / The sound of their rusty string guitar playing songs we know / And all that I have to do is think one little thought of you / And I'm back home, I'm right back home_

He sighed. Then he shoved the notebook back in his messenger bag and stood up. He grabbed his guitar and headed back the way he'd come.

* * *

Sunday was a rehearsal day and Deacon and Beverly headed over to the O'Connor barn late that afternoon. Beverly turned to look at him. "You've been all quiet this weekend, baby brother," she said. "What's up with you? Break up with the princess?"

He scowled at her. "Nah, Beverly, I didn't," he said. "And what's wrong with being quiet anyway?"

She shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. You just seem more quiet than normal. Kinda like you're thinking too much."

He breathed out. "I'm trying to write some songs for us, but it ain't going as easy as I thought," he said. He turned to look at her. "I ain't got enough time to spend on it."

She narrowed her eyes. "Whose fault is that? Not mine." She smirked. "Maybe if you didn't spend all that time with Miss Rayna, you'd have more writing time."

He looked back at her and frowned. "That ain't changing. No sense in you hounding me about it." He worked his lip. "I don't give you crap about Doug."

She gave him a sarcastic smile. "He just plays a little back up guitar and hauls gear. It's not like he's writing songs or singing on stage with me. But you, baby brother, you have as big a part in this as me. Maybe more, if you'd write more songs like 'Trouble'. But you need to be all in. And right now, seems to me you're not."

She was pissing him off, but there was also some truth to that. The time he spent with Rayna was time he would've spent working on his music. It was what he had such mixed up feelings about. He wished Rayna didn't have another year of school. He'd have felt more comfortable asking her to come with him when they left Natchez, if she were finishing up too. And he did want this music thing. He'd wanted it for as long as he could remember. He looked over at his sister and scowled. "I'm all in," he said, darkly. She looked back at him and just shrugged. Then she folded her arms over her chest and looked out the side window the rest of the way to the barn.

* * *

After they had rehearsed, Beverly was catching some snuggle time with Doug as Vince and Deacon put their guitars away. Vince followed Deacon out of the barn and stopped at Deacon's truck as he swung his guitar case into the truck bed. "So, you interested in a double date next weekend?" Vince asked, leaning against the side of the truck.

Deacon shrugged. "Maybe. I gotta see how things are," he said.

Vince looked puzzled. "You two are like Siamese twins," he said. "What's all this about 'how things are'?"

Deacon looked around, checking to be sure Beverly was not in earshot. He looked back at Vince. "Things just really got, um, intense with her. And, I don't know, girls can be crazy sometimes."

Vince's eyes widened. "Ah, man, you did the deed?" He broke into a grin and then laughed out loud.

Deacon glared at him. "Shut _up_ , man," he whispered fiercely. "And don't say nothing. To _nobody_."

Vince held his hands up, but was still grinning. "Not to worry, man. My lips are sealed." And he made a gesture as though he were zipping his lip. Then he laughed again, not as loud this time. "What are you worried about? Did you make her?"

"No, course not. But, you know, she's kinda innocent and all."

Vince shook his head and slapped him on the shoulder. "I don't think you got anything to worry about there. Man, she always acts like you hung the sun, the moon, and the stars." Deacon thought about that. He never wanted to assume anything. Rayna was so far out of his league, as so many people had told him. He didn't doubt her feelings, but he always wondered if one day she'd realize she could do better. Just then Vince punched him in the arm and it pulled him out of his reverie. "Man, you got it bad for her, don't ya?" he said, with a wink.

"Shut up, Vince," he said, turning away, but he couldn't help a hopeful smile.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna sat up in bed and looked over at the clock. It was nine-thirty, later than she usually slept on a weekend. Not only had she fallen asleep quickly, but she'd slept long and deeply. As she thought about the night before, a vague sense of anxiety settled over her. She wished she didn't have to wait to see Deacon until Monday. As good as she'd felt the night before, now she wanted reassurance. Now she felt a vague anxiety, worrying that, like Tandy had warned her, Deacon would think she was easy. _How do you ever know for sure when it's truly right? When it's real?_

She pulled on her robe and walked down to the kitchen, caught up in her own thoughts. She went to the refrigerator and pulled it open, then stood there, not sure what she was after.

"Looking for something in particular?" She swung around at the sound of her father's voice, her heart pounding, the refrigerator door closing behind her.

"Daddy," she said, her voice shaky. "I didn't know you were there."

He raised his eyebrows. "I could see that. You walked in here like you were in a trance." He eyed her carefully and she swallowed hard. "Those late nights of yours might be catching up to you." His voice sounded pleasant enough on the surface, but she could hear the subtle menace underlying it.

She smiled with a bravado she didn't feel. "I don't know what you mean," she said.

He smiled back, although the smile didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not a stupid man, Rayna," he said. He walked over to her and she instinctively raised her hand up over her heart. His eyes seemed to narrow a bit. He nodded towards her. "Where did that ring come from?" he asked, his voice low and almost menacing.

She felt sick to her stomach. She'd been careful not to wear the ring around him, but she'd had it on the night before and had not taken it off when she went to bed. She took a deep breath. "I bought it when Tandy took me shopping. After Thanksgiving," she said, surprised at how easily the lie rolled off her tongue.

He looked skeptical. "Really," he said. "Funny that I haven't seen it until now."

She shrugged. "I don't always wear it."

"I see." He leaned in towards her. "You know, Rayna, I know a lot more about what you're doing than you apparently give me credit for. Don't be fooled into thinking that I'm not paying attention."

She didn't like the veiled accusations. "I told you before, I can take care of myself. I made my own decisions before. I can do it now."

He lifted his finger and pointed at her. "Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm not watching you, young lady. Or that I'll stand by and let you ruin your life. I'm perfectly capable of making sure you don't stumble down a hole you can't get out of."

She clenched her fists at her side and felt her jaw clench. "You're _not_ going to run my life!" she shouted at him. She turned and walked past him towards the kitchen door.

"Don't make an enemy out of me, Rayna!" he shouted after her. "It won't go down well for you. Or for that white trash you've been seeing on the sly!"

Angry tears clouded her vision as she stormed back to her room and slammed the door shut. She went over and threw herself onto the bed, pounding the pillows angrily. But she did worry that he knew more about what she was doing than she realized. And that made her fear for Deacon, because she had no idea what her father might do if he knew the extent of their relationship.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

His stomach felt tied up in knots as he drove towards the high school. It was the last week of school before the Christmas break. He wondered how much he would see Rayna during the break. At least when school was in session he could see her every day. But now he was worried about her reaction to him. He didn't know why he was so worried, except that he always seemed to feel like he didn't deserve anything good. Jed Claybourne had always ridiculed his efforts to do better and, over time, he'd come to wonder if it was wasted effort.

He sighed as he pulled into the student parking lot. He saw Vince as he drove in, but he was walking towards the school with his girl of the week or month or whatever. He got out of the truck and walked slowly towards the front of the school, his eyes searching the crowd of students for Rayna. He didn't see her and it made him wonder if she was even there.

The morning seemed to drag by. The knot in his stomach seemed to grow larger and larger as the minutes ticked by, until he was standing in line to get his lunch and he wasn't even sure he'd be able to eat. He took his tray and sat in his usual place, afraid to look around to see if she was there. Or if she was sitting somewhere else. The food in front of him looked even less enticing than usual. He looked down at his hands in his lap.

"Hey." He looked up and there she was. Her eyes looked deeply into his and she bit her lip.

He felt all the tension he'd carried around melt away. He grinned up at her. "Hey."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

She stood in the foyer, watching out the window for Samuel. She wrapped a long scarf around her neck over the jean jacket she was wearing. There was just a hint of winter in the air and she didn't really need the scarf, but she liked it. She picked up her books, wrapping her hands around them. When she felt the ring on her finger, she quickly took it off and stuck it in her pocket. Even though Lamar had already seen it, she didn't want it to be a future source of discussion. She was pretty sure he didn't believe her story.

She flinched as she heard heavy footsteps behind her. They stopped and she closed her eyes, willing Samuel to hurry. "Have a good day at school, Rayna," came Lamar's voice from behind her.

She took a deep breath before answering. "Thank you," she said, finally, her voice soft. Just then she saw the Cadillac round the curve and she pulled open the front door and hurried out, pulling it shut behind her. She ran down the steps and opened the back door of the car before Samuel could get around. She slammed the door shut behind her and pulled the seatbelt on. Samuel got back in the car and headed down the driveway. She fished in her pocket, pulling out the ring, and put it back on.

* * *

She'd been nervous all morning at school. She hadn't stood outside when she got there, waiting for Deacon. She'd been afraid he might ignore her. She'd almost been in tears at one point, worrying. She had considered skipping lunch, but then she was annoyed with herself for being afraid. She went through the line and picked out a salad and some fruit. Then she took a deep breath and walked out into the cafeteria.

She saw Deacon right away, in their usual place. He seemed to be looking down at the floor. She felt a quivering in her stomach and a fluttering in her heart, but she walked over purposefully. She stood across from where he sat. "Hey," she said, her voice soft.

He looked up, his eyes filled with questions. She waited. Then suddenly he smiled broadly. "Hey," he said.

She breathed a sigh of relief and then let out a quick laugh. She could feel that electric tingling running through her. She sat down. "This seemed like the longest weekend," she said.

He was still smiling. "Yeah, it did."


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: I've included a scene in this chapter that comes from a suggestion by blondeclyde. Thanks for the idea! And thanks also to those who've reviewed – I love hearing what you think.**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Winter was short, as it always was in Natchez. Deacon had never been a fan of colder weather, but he'd discovered it meant snuggling up with Rayna, wrapping blankets around them, and that he _was_ a fan of. His favorite times became those nights they sat in the bed of the truck, wrapped up in each other's arms, a blanket covering them, gazing up at the stars or, more often, kissing under those stars. They made good use of the shack in the woods, but they'd also learned how to maneuver in the front seat of the truck, although those times usually ended up in lots of giggling and laughter.

On an unusually cold night in late January, they were curled up on the cot in the shack. It was cold inside the shack as well and Deacon made sure the blanket was tucked in well around Rayna. Their body heat helped and it was good that they had an excuse to snuggle as close as they could to each other. He stroked the skin on her back as she lay her head on his chest. "How's your songwriting going?" she asked.

He sighed. "Not so great. I keep writing stuff down, but nothing seems to go together." He'd continued to be frustrated, trying to write words and verses that could become songs. He hadn't even gotten close to doing the melodies because the words wouldn't come.

She moved her head to look up at him. "What are you writing about?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Just stuff. I guess like what you hear on the radio. Trying to come up with something people would want to listen to."

She was quiet for a few minutes and he was conscious of her heartbeat, as she lay against him, and her leg, tangled in between his. He moved his arms to pull her in closer and kissed her on the top of her head. "Maybe you're trying too hard," she said then.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

She pulled away from him a bit, resting her palm on his chest, leaning her head on his arm. "I had a teacher who told me, when I was in Austin, to write what I know. I was trying to do the same thing with my poetry, trying to write what I thought was a good poem, but I'd get so frustrated." She looked at him. "I think you might be doing the same thing. Don't write what you think people want to hear, write what you know."

He raised his eyebrows. "You think it's that simple?"

"Well, I'm not a songwriter, so I don't know if it is. But you could try it, right?" She smiled. "I really liked the song you wrote for me. That was something you knew, right?"

He smiled back. "Yeah. Well, I guess it was how I felt about you."

"Same thing."

He sighed then. "But I can't write everything about you. Bev won't sing it." A shadow crossed her face and he was sorry he'd said that. "That's not what I meant…."

She shook her head. "It's okay. I know she doesn't like me." Under the blanket, she rubbed her fingers over his skin and he felt himself responding to her touch. "It's just you and me, Deacon. No one really gets us. But it's okay."

He leaned down and kissed her. "You're all I've got," he said.

She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling. "I'm all you'll ever need."

He grinned and then rolled over on top of her, kissing her fiercely. She moaned deep in her throat and he reached over her for the table by the cot.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was looking forward to hearing Deacon and Beverly perform. Deacon had told her he'd finished a song and that Beverly had approved, so she was going to perform it tonight, with him doing backup, as normal. She was certainly no songwriter, but they had talked about how he could not only write about his own experiences, but could write about things that meant something to him. Maybe his hopes and dreams, maybe his fears and worries. It seemed to have worked, so she was anxious to hear the result.

"I'll bet you're glad Beverly liked your song," she said, as they drove to the bar.

He shrugged. "I think she was more tired of me not being able to write nothing," he said.

She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I think you write beautiful songs, Deacon," she said encouragingly. "I know it's gonna get easier too. I believe in you."

He looked at her and smiled. "I'm glad someone does," he said.

She knew how much this meant to him. She wanted to encourage him, but it also worried her too. They had not really talked much about his plans. She knew Beverly was still set on leaving Natchez and she knew Beverly was set on Deacon going with her. It made her sad to think about it, but she also wanted to be supportive. She didn't want to hold him back, even though she didn't want him to leave her.

When they got to the bar, Deacon got caught up in getting set up and going over the set list. She sat at a table near the back. These days she wanted other people to be able to be closer to them so she would sit farther back. She actually liked it better since it allowed her to see how others reacted to Deacon and Beverly. They always attracted a crowd, particularly at places where they performed regularly.

They started off with some familiar covers. About halfway through the set, they performed 'Trouble'. Then immediately after, they led into Deacon's new song. Rayna sat forward in her seat, anxious to hear it.

 _Standing face to face / Wrapped in your embrace / I don't wanna let you go / But you're already gone_

 _Now you kiss my cheek / Soft and bittersweet / I can read it in your eyes / Baby, this is our goodbye_

 _Nothing more to say / Nothing left to break / I keep reaching out for you / Hoping you might stay_

 _Nothing more to give / Nothing left to take / I keep reaching out for you / Reaching out for you / As you turn away_

Beverly's voice was clear and haunting as she sang. Rayna felt herself drawn in, the words filling her up. It felt like a goodbye song. She didn't know whether Deacon had written it for her or about her, but it suddenly made her heart hurt, as she thought about the fact that it wouldn't be long before she would have to let him go.

 _Let go of my hand / So I can feel again / Nothing's gonna hurt as much / As that final touch_

 _No we can't be friends / 'Cause I don't think I could take seeing you / And knowing where we've been / I hope you understand_

 _Nothing more to say / Nothing left to break / I keep reaching out for you / Hoping you might stay_

 _Nothing more to give / Nothing left to take / I keep reaching out for you / Reaching out for you / As you turn away_

She wondered if he was somehow telling her she needed to be the one to let go, that he wouldn't be able to do it. She felt tears welling up and she blinked hard to keep them from falling. She had tried not to really think about what came next. All the nights she'd spent in his arms, loving him, had meant she'd pushed aside the realities of their future. But now she was coming face-to-face with it.

She wished she had someone she could talk about everything with. But, as she'd been in Austin, she was something of an outcast. And Tandy was so far away, but she'd been hesitant to talk too much to her sister, since she didn't know how much she might tell their father. Plus Tandy was always so prone to lecturing. Her only friend was Deacon, the very person she wanted to talk to someone about. He was not only her boyfriend, but her best friend. _Her family._

She let her mind wander as Deacon and Beverly finished their set. She was just sixteen, going on seventeen, and she knew people would think she was too young to have the feelings she did for Deacon. To be so sure he was the love of her life. But she _was_ sure. She'd known instinctively that what she felt for him was grown-up, well beyond her years. She knew he felt the same. She also knew that was why they hadn't talked much about his leaving, because he was struggling with it, because of his feelings for her. They were both struggling.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Rayna seemed extra quiet that night, as they walked out of the bar. Deacon knew it was probably all the talk about leaving Natchez. He hated when Beverly did that, knowing that it was meant, at least in part, to aggravate him and hurt Rayna. When they got to the truck, he opened the door for her and helped her in. She smiled sadly at him as he closed the door. When he got in on his side, he sat for a moment, then sighed and turned to look at her.

"I don't know what to say, baby," he said.

She turned to look at him, her eyes filled with grief. "Say you'll stay," she whispered. "Don't go."

He took a deep breath. "I can't say that," he said. He could see the tears in her eyes and he felt like he could cry himself. "I want to, baby, I promise you that. But I promised Beverly. And more than that, _I_ want this. I been dreaming about this for so long. I want to write songs. And be on stage. It's my dream. It's been my dream forever." He reached for her hand. "Come with me, Ray," he whispered.

She shook her head. "I can't. Daddy would never let me."

He worked his lip and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I need to do this. I want this."

She looked up at him. "More than you want me?"

He closed his eyes. "No," he whispered. "Course not." He opened his eyes then and looked at her pleadingly. "But it's in my blood, Ray. I gotta do this." He rubbed the ring on her finger. "But I'll come back. I promise. When you graduate. Will you come with me then?"

She looked at him for a long time. He thought she was going to say no, that she couldn't wait, that it wasn't fair. And he understood. He couldn't make her do that. But then she nodded. "Yes," she said finally. "I'll come with you then."

* * *

Rayna had been quiet on the drive to the bluff. Deacon suddenly wanted her to know she didn't have to promise him anything. He knew he would come back for her, but he didn't want her to promise him something so far out. Things could change, he knew that. When they were parked, he turned to her. "Baby, you don't have to wait for me," he said.

She turned to look at him. "Why would you say that?" she asked. "Do you not want me to?"

He shook his head. "That ain't what I'm saying. But I know a year is a long time. A lot can happen in a year."

She took a deep breath and looked away. "That song you wrote," she said, finally, her voice so soft he almost couldn't hear her. "Did you write that for me? To tell me I needed to be the one to walk away?"

He slid over to her and pulled her into his arms. Her words had been painful to hear and he hated for her to believe that. "Nah, baby. I promise, that wasn't it." She turned to look at him then and his heart ached at the pain he saw in her eyes. "I want you to come with me now. I just don't want you to, oh, God, Ray, I just need you to know I'd understand. You know, if you couldn't…wait."

She turned towards him and took his face in her hands. "I will wait for you however long it takes," she said, her gaze intense. "You're my love, my best friend. I can't imagine a life without you in it."

He could feel the tears in his own eyes as he saw her tears spill over onto her cheeks. He leaned in and kissed her, tenderly at first, then more intensely. This time, as he made love to her in the front seat of the truck, there was no laughing or giggling, just a sense that they needed to make the most of their time together.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Prom was a big deal at Natchez High School. For weeks prior to the date, girls had been twittering about their dates and their dresses and what they'd be doing afterwards. Rayna listened to the girls around her in her classes, although she didn't join in. Deacon had said nothing about prom and she had not brought it up. Finally, one day, after school, she decided to ask him about it.

She was standing next to his truck, holding his hand, and looked up at him. "So, have you thought at all about prom?" she asked.

He looked a little confused. "What's that? A dance?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But everyone gets dressed up and it's, I guess, extra special, or something."

He worked his lip a moment. "Okay. So, I guess you want to go?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It seems maybe a little snobby."

He looked away. "I don't have nothing fancy to wear," he said, his voice low.

She felt bad for bringing it up. "I'm sorry," she said. "We don't have to go. I don't really care." She smiled up at him. "Let's do our own thing."

His eyes looked sad when he looked back at her. "Like what?"

She smiled coyly. "Maybe we could go to the little cabin? Be alone? That's really what I'd rather do anyway."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to miss something you want to do."

She shook her head. "If I wasn't with you, it wouldn't be fun anyway."

He smiled then. "Okay. We'll do our thing."

* * *

Rayna was waiting just off the side of the road, just behind the tree line. When she saw Deacon's truck approach, she stepped out and waved. He pulled over and she quickly jumped in. He took off quickly and before too long they were parked outside the little hunting shack. He got out of the truck and let her out and, taking her hand, they ran for the door.

As soon as he closed the door behind them, he scooped her into his arms and kissed her hungrily. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, losing herself in the kiss. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, she smiled up at him. "I've been waiting for this all day," she said.

He smirked. "Just this?" He brushed her lips with another kiss and tightened his arms around her waist. "Just a kiss?"

She giggled. "Well, more than just a kiss," she said. "You know that."

Deacon pulled a small silver flask out of his pocket. Rayna frowned. "What's that?"

He smiled. "Whiskey." He unscrewed the top. "Didn't you tell me you drank whiskey?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I took some sips when Mom was out of the house." She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Where did you get it?"

He shrugged. "Stole it. It probably ain't as good as the stuff your mama had, but it'll do. Thought we'd have our own little celebration. I hear they spike the punch at prom." He took a couple sips and winced a little, then handed it to her. She took a sip and coughed a little at the burning in her throat.

"That's pretty strong stuff," she said, wiping her eyes. He started to take it back, but she held it to her lips and took another sip. It still burned, but less than the first time. He was right – it wasn't as good as her mom's – but she still liked the warm feeling she was getting in her chest.

He took another sip and then he set the flask down and reached for her again, pulling her close and capturing her lips with his. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving in to all the heady feelings she had, from both his kisses and the whiskey.

* * *

Rayna opened her eyes. She was lying on her side, Deacon spooning her from behind. His arm was draped over her waist and she could feel his breath on her neck. It was pitch black dark inside the shack and she wondered what time it was. She was pretty sure she'd fallen asleep at some point, but she didn't know for how long. They had finished off the flask of whiskey and she remembered feeling fuzzy-headed and also giggling a lot. They had made love two times – or was it three? – and she felt pleasantly satisfied.

But now she needed to get home. "Deacon," she whispered. He made a little noise and moved his hand up to her breast. She instantly felt the little anticipatory quivers. She also still felt very tipsy and she giggled. She rolled onto her back and he immediately put his mouth on hers. She forgot pretty much everything else as he moved on top of her.

* * *

She hurried through the woods towards the house. It was almost three in the morning and not only was her heart pounding out of her chest, but she had a wicked headache. When she got to her window, she pushed herself up on the small ledge and felt her stomach roll. She stopped and took several deep breaths to calm herself. Her head was swimming. She put her hands on the window sill and pushed herself up and over, landing hard on the floor below. She made a little involuntary noise and then sat on the floor, holding her breath. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

She thought she heard a step, but then she wasn't sure, because she also thought she'd passed out for a minute. She had been startled awake and she again sat, holding her breath, listening for any sound. Several minutes passed with nothing and she finally got up off the floor and staggered to her bed. She undressed and slipped on her nightgown, then crawled under the covers without even washing her face or brushing her teeth.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon stopped at the diner after school, before he headed to rehearsal. He sat at a booth by the window and ordered a Coke and French fries. It was a sunny spring day and a fair number of people were out and about. He was looking out the window and was startled when Lamar Wyatt slid into the seat across from him. Lamar had a smile on his face that looked almost sinister and Deacon felt apprehensive.

Lamar leaned forward slightly. "I thought I told you that you weren't good enough for Rayna," he said, his voice low and menacing. "And yet you continue to chase after her. Encourage her to sneak out to see you. Keep her out until almost dawn."

Deacon swallowed hard. It was clear Lamar was keeping closer tabs on Rayna than she suspected. He obviously knew they'd been out later than normal the previous weekend. He wondered what else Rayna's father knew. Even if he'd known what to say, he didn't think he could get the words out.

"What's the matter, boy? Cat got your tongue?" Lamar said with a sneer. Deacon frowned. "I might not be able to lock my daughter away or control all her foolish decisions, but understand I will not support her misguided actions." He clasped his hands together and leaned farther forward, his eyes narrowing. "She's told me you and your sister want to try to make it in the music industry. I happen to have some contacts in Nashville. If you'll leave town now and forget all about Rayna, I'll front you the money to get there and set up a meeting." He smiled, a smile that did not reach his eyes. "What do you say?" he asked.

Deacon took a deep breath. There was a small part of him that thought about what that could possibly mean. He and Beverly would at least get a chance, otherwise there were no guarantees they'd ever get heard. All he'd have to do was give up Rayna. He breathed out and then slid out of the booth. He looked down at Lamar. "No, sir," he said. "If I can't do it honestly, by my own hard work, I ain't interested. And Rayna means too much to me to throw her over like that."

As he turned to leave, he heard Lamar's voice, low and lethal. "Don't you tarnish my daughter, boy." Deacon froze. "If you hurt her in any way, you'll never see her again. And if you leave here, don't you come back. Don't test me, boy. I have a lot of power in this town."

Deacon felt his heart pounding, but he walked away without a second glance. He had no idea what to do next.

* * *

 _Deacon watched the clock beside his bed. He was huddled on the floor by the closet and he was listening to the quiet. He'd decided when it had been quiet for thirty minutes, he'd make his move. It had been quiet for twenty-five._

 _He took a deep breath and then winced in pain. He felt tears in his eyes and he sniffed. He opened his mouth slightly and breathed in and out, in shallow breaths, until the pain subsided. His head hurt like hell and he was afraid he might have a concussion._

 _He spent the next five minutes planning how he would get into Beverly's room across the hall. The two of them had each kept a packed duffle for just this situation and he needed to get hers. His duffle and guitar were already by the window._

 _They had instinctively known that one day they would need to leave quickly and so they had prepared. It seemed surprising that it hadn't already happened. He looked back at the clock. Thirty minutes had passed. Gingerly he got up from the floor and crept to the door. He opened it carefully and listened. The house was still. He walked slowly across to Beverly's room and retrieved her duffle, wincing with the pain in his shoulder._

 _He made it back across the hall and shut the door behind him. He nearly passed out trying to open the window and bit the inside of his mouth to keep from crying out with the pain. He tossed out the duffle bags and gently lowered his guitar to the ground, then held his breath and crawled out._

 _He managed to get everything to the bed of his truck, then slid down to the ground, his head pounding and his body feeling sweaty. He breathed in and out several times, then whispered, "Bev!" He waited a second, then said her name again._

 _After a moment, he heard a whimper and he got up, heading in that direction. He practically stumbled over her, hiding behind a tree. He knelt down and put his arms around her and she grabbed him tightly. He could feel her shaking. "Let's go," he whispered._

 _He helped her up and they ran for the truck. Beverly jumped into the passenger side. He opened the driver's side door and released the parking brake. He edged the truck out, wanting to scream with the pain in his shoulder. When he'd gotten it to the dirt road, he jumped in and started it. He peeled out and drove down the road as fast as he dared._

 _Beverly was shaking and crying, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She stayed that way until he got to Doug's barn. When he pulled up and turned off the truck, he turned on the interior light. "Bev?" he said. "Look at me."_

 _He watched her breath out, then unwrap her arms from around her legs. She slid her legs down as she sat up and turned to him. He swallowed hard. She had a black eye and a bruise on the opposite cheek. Her lip was split and covered with dried blood. Her arms were covered in bruises. "We gotta go," she whispered._

 _He nodded. "I know." He sighed._

 _She reached over and touched his arm. "I know you don't wanna go, but we have to." She sounded almost apologetic._

" _I need to tell her, Bev."_

 _She closed her eyes and nodded. "I know."_

 _He pressed his hands on his thighs. "I'll see her at school, in the parking lot," he said. "I'll tell her then and we'll go when I get back."_

So that's what he was doing now, driving down the Natchez Trace, preparing to see Rayna one last time.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

It was the first day of May, two weeks after the prom they didn't attend. It was warm, but not sticky, with a pleasant breeze. The sky was blue and Rayna watched the clouds float by for a moment, before heading towards the parking lot. She and Deacon usually spent about fifteen minutes before school kissing and talking in his truck.

She walked over to where he was parked and climbed into the passenger seat, putting her books and purse on the floor. She glanced at Deacon and thought he looked like he was wearing his clothes from the day before. He was looking out his window. She frowned. "Hey, babe," she said.

"Hey," he mumbled, still not looking at her. He turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the lot.

She looked around, confused. "What are we doing? Deacon, we have school," she protested. He didn't say anything, just headed down the road. "Deacon, is everything okay?" she asked. He was scaring her a little.

"I guess," he said, his voice still a little muffled.

That was when she noticed bruises on his knuckles. She reached out and touched them with her fingers. "Deacon, what happened?" she asked, a little frightened now. He glanced over at her then and she gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth. "Oh, my God, Deacon, what happened to you?" She could hear the shrillness of her voice. His left eye was bruised all around it and she saw broken blood vessels in his right. His lip was cut and he had scrapes across his cheek. She could see tears in his eyes.

He cleared his throat. "My old man beat the shit out of us last night," he said, his mouth barely moving, as though it hurt to speak.

She started to cry. "What happened?" she cried.

He shrugged and then winced. When he spoke, his voice was low and he seemed to pause every few words, as though it hurt to talk. "He didn't like my mom's casserole and threw it across the room. He slapped her around, beat her up pretty bad. Beverly tried to get him off her and he beat her up and me too, for good measure. Bev and I left and stayed at Doug's."

She couldn't stop the tears. "You can stay with me," she said. "I know Daddy would let you if he knew what happened."

He shook his head. "Nah, baby, I don't think so. Me and Bev, we're gonna go ahead on, just sooner than we thought."

She felt her heart tighten in her chest at the idea he was leaving. "No! Please don't go yet," she begged. "Please."

"I'm sorry, baby, but we gotta do this. I'll take you back to school, then me and Bev are going."

She put her face in her hands and wept. "Please don't leave me, Deacon."

He sighed and then turned off the main road. He found a place to park and turned off the truck, then turned to her. "Baby, I don't wanna leave you," he said, tears filling his eyes. "I love you, Rayna. You know that. But if we don't go, he'll kill us all. We gotta get out of this place."

She moved over and gently took his hand, kissing his bruised knuckles. "Please don't go yet," she pleaded. "Can we have today? If you really can't stay, can have today? For us?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I gotta get back to Bev. She's pretty shook up." He put his hand on her cheek. "I can stay a little bit. I wish I could do more." He pulled her to him then and kissed her gently, but she heard him wince a little from the pain. He ran his hand over her hair and her cheek, his eyes searching hers. Finally he sat back and started the truck, driving them to the place where they always went parking.

He reached for her hand and pulled her over to him. He kept making little noises, as though everything hurt, and she tried to be gentle. He carefully put his arms around her and she nestled into him carefully. He gently ran his fingers up and down her arms, kissing her on the top of the head. After a while, she turned in his arms, moving her legs to drape over his, so she could face him. He gingerly put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him, until he sucked in his breath in obvious pain.

She pulled back and looked at him with alarm. "Are you sure this won't hurt too much?" she asked.

"I don't care," he said. "I need this." He pulled her back and leaned down to kiss her. She could feel the cut on his lip, but he seemed to be willing himself to get through whatever pain he was experiencing. It seemed like he was in such pain, making small sounds when she would touch him. She was afraid to hold him close, for fear she'd make it worse.

At one point, he stopped, breathing in and out. She frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I ain't okay, Ray," he said. He worked his lip and breathed in and out slowly. "There ain't nothing that don't hurt. I think I got broken ribs, maybe a concussion. I'm sore as hell." Tears filled his eyes then. "But I gotta leave you. That's what hurts the most." He started to shake with silent sobs, tears running down his cheeks.

She started to cry again too. "I don't want you to go," she sobbed. "But I don't want you to stay and get hurt again. I hate seeing you like this. Please tell me what to do."

He leaned towards her, his forehead touching hers. "Let me go," he said, his voice low and shaky. "I'll come back for you, but don't stop living your life. If things change, it's okay. I'll understand."

She wiped at the tears on her face. "I'll wait for you," she said. "I promise." She held up her hand with the promise ring. "You promised you'd come back. And I promise I'll wait. I'll be here." She put her hand carefully on his battered cheek and he leaned in to kiss her.

* * *

He dropped her off at the top of the driveway at her house, because she couldn't go back to school. When he held her in his arms, as they stood next to his truck, she willed herself to be brave and not to cry. She stood watching as he finally got back in the truck and pulled out of the driveway, watching until she could no longer see him. Then she finally dragged herself down the drive, unable to stop crying. When she got to the house, she went straight to her room and shut the door, curling up in the bed and crying until she finally exhausted herself and she fell asleep.

She woke up in the middle of the night to find herself still laying on top of the covers, fully dressed. She got up and changed into her nightgown and washed her face. When she looked in the mirror, she could see her bloodshot eyes and the absolute despair on her face. Deacon was gone. She had no idea when, or if, she'd see him again. He'd promised to come back and she had to hang on to that. But she didn't know how she'd live without him until then.

As she stared in the mirror, her face dissolved again into tears and she stumbled back to the bed. She cried long into the night before falling, again, into an exhausted and restless sleep. When she finally woke the next morning, she'd cried so hard she'd made herself sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up, then sat on the floor and cried some more.


	11. Chapter 11

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon walked slowly up the steps to the third floor of the extended stay motel where they were living in Memphis. He and Vince were sharing a room and he hoped Vince was off with his latest girlfriend of the moment. He had a bag of Chinese food and he was hoping to be able to work on his songs without Vince being around. Vince was his best friend, but he wasn't good at being quiet.

They'd been in Memphis for almost two months. Paying gigs had been sparse, although things had started to look up in the last week. They all had some kind of other job to help pay bills. He was busing tables and washing dishes during breakfast and lunch at a diner nearby. It paid decent money and he got a few tips, if the waitresses were generous. There were a couple who thought he was cute, if young, and they were more likely to pass along a few extra bucks each shift.

Beverly had visions of them playing in the honky tonks along Beale Street, but it turned out not as many of them focused on country music, so they'd extended their geography. They were starting to pick up a couple gigs a week, not as many as they wanted, but it was a start. And they were already getting asked back, which they considered to be a good thing.

He tried to stay busy, because when he wasn't, he just felt lonely. He missed Rayna. His injuries had healed, but his heart still hurt. He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd left her, standing in her driveway, tears streaking her face. He had wept himself, crying all the way to Doug's barn. He'd felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest and, more than once, he'd almost turned around and gone back, willing to suffer Jed's temper just to stay with her.

But what he'd told Rayna was true – this was his dream too. He'd dreamt for years of making it as a songwriter and even as an artist, if he were lucky enough. He also didn't doubt for a minute the threats Lamar Wyatt had made. He knew Lamar was one of the most powerful men in the state and he didn't want Rayna to be hurt any more than she was. When he thought back to that last day, he'd realized she deserved better than someone who was chasing, and being chased by, demons, even if they weren't of his own making. She deserved someone who could treat her right, take care of her, and be worthy of her.

He'd reached room 312 and took a breath before he put the key in the lock. When he opened the door, he was relieved to see the place empty. The maid service had come by and straightened up the room, such as it was. It was a very spare place, with two queen beds and a very basic kitchenette. Everything looked slightly worn and the kitchenette was not well stocked, but it was good enough. The TV only got the basic channels, but he didn't watch much TV anyway. Vince was the one who would turn it on and then spend all night cursing the minimal channel selection.

He sat down at the small table and pulled the food out of the bag. He ate the moo goo gai pan and rice straight from the containers, not bothering to get a plate. He ate the food quickly. On days he worked at the diner, he could have free food, but he didn't have much time to eat, so dinner was usually his primary meal. When he was done, he threw out the trash, then picked up his messenger bag and laid it on the table. He opened it up and pulled out the notebook he was doing his writing in.

He'd finished the song he'd started about the fireflies dancing and the rusty string guitar. It had made him think of Rayna and the little shack in the woods where they spent time. One day, if he was lucky, he hoped he'd be able to buy something much nicer that he could take her to. He looked over the second verse he'd written, the one that spoke to him so directly now, of love and loss and wishing for things he couldn't have.

 _Work so long and hard to chase your dreams / Wind up someplace you don't want to be / It's such a lonely road, especially when you know_

It was a simple song, just a voice and two guitars. Beverly hadn't wanted to do it herself, so she was letting him perform it. He sighed.

 _There's fireflies dancing in the yard, under the blanket of stars / The sound of their rusty string guitar playing songs we know / And all that I have to do, is think one little thought of you / And I'm back home, I'm right back home_

He picked up his guitar and worked through the melody again, singing along until he found himself getting choked up. He'd promised Rayna he'd come back, a year from this point. He'd given her that ring and told her it meant he'd be back. But that was before Lamar, before Rayna's father had made it clear he wouldn't tolerate it. Before he'd tried to use a bribe. It made him mad, but it also scared him a little. He didn't doubt that Lamar would make good on his promise to keep Rayna from him.

He didn't know what to do. But it was a year away. He'd figure it out. One way or the other. Just then he heard a key in the lock and then the door opened and Vince charged in.

"Deke, buddy, you're back!" Vince hollered. He gave Deacon a quick slap on the back. "Come on, let's go out. I got some booze." He leered at Deacon. "And some girls." He winked.

Deacon shook his head. "I ain't interested in any girls, Vince."

"Aw, come on, man. Rayna's back in Natchez. You're here in Memphis. Who's gonna know?"

Deacon frowned. "Me. I would know."

Vince made a face. "Come on, Deke. Nobody says you have to hump 'em. Just hang out. Have some fun. You can do that, right?" He put his hands on Deacon's shoulders and squeezed them. "Come on, buddy. You been holed up here every night since we got here. Let's go out and have a little fun."

Deacon sighed. Vince was right. He'd done nothing other than work and perform since they'd gotten to Memphis. Maybe he did need a night on the town. No girls, though. He was still loyal to Rayna. But it might be fun to go out and let loose a little bit. He got up from the chair. "Okay, I'll do it," he said. "But no girls."

Vince held his hands up. "No girls. For you, anyway." He laughed. "I'll keep 'em all for me!"

* * *

Deacon shook his head as he walked up the steps to the motel room. He'd left Vince at the park, where they'd been hanging out with the two girls Vince had set them up to meet, even though he'd told Vince he wasn't interested in a fix-up. He'd tried, for Vince's sake, to not be a wet blanket, but it wasn't working. He wasn't looking for a roll in the hay or a little feel up or any of the things Vince seemed to be after. He didn't begrudge Vince his fun, but he just couldn't do it himself. He couldn't do it to Rayna.

" _So, Deke, this here's Amanda and her friend Janie." Vince put his arm around Amanda, a voluptuously pretty blonde, who was wearing the tightest jeans Deacon had ever seen and a tank top that accentuated her boobs. Janie smiled at him. He hesitantly smiled back. She was pretty too, a little less over-the-top than Amanda, but he felt uncomfortable as she seemed to size him up. "This is my buddy, Deacon," Vince said, waving his free arm towards Deacon. "He came with me from Natchez to chase our dream."_

 _Deacon had to smile at that. It really wasn't Vince's dream. He was just along for the ride. Willingly, but Deacon knew he could have stayed in Natchez and worked construction, like his dad, and been perfectly satisfied. Vince was a solid guitar player, though, and he added a lot to their group. "Yeah," he said. "We're just all chasing Vince's dream with him."_

 _Vince laughed. "We all gotta dream!" he shouted. He looked down at Amanda. "Ain't that right, girl?" She laughed along with him. "You're my dream tonight!"_

 _They sat at a picnic bench and Vince poured them all cups of Old Crow whiskey. It was cheap and Deacon knew Vince had gotten someone to buy it for them. It was the kind of whiskey Jed drank, the kind he'd steal away sometimes when he wanted to dull the ache. Deacon was a careful drinker, mostly, though, not wanting to go down the same path as his father. More times than he cared to remember, Jed would taunt him with 'you're gonna be just like me, boy' and Deacon swore, every time, he wouldn't._

" _You're kind of a quiet guy." Deacon was startled out of his reverie by Janie. He turned to look at her. "Vince said you were quiet."_

 _Deacon shrugged. "I guess."_

 _Janie moved a little closer and took a sip of the whiskey in her cup. She made a face. "This stuff is pretty rank," she said, with a sharp laugh._

 _Deacon smiled and nodded. "It is. But it's cheap."_

 _She inched just a little closer. Deacon cut his eyes over to Vince and Amanda, but they were heavy into necking. He breathed in. "So, what's your story?" Janie asked. "Why did you come to Memphis?"_

" _Me and my sister, we sing together. We came here to try to catch on as a duo. And I'm, uh, writing songs."_

 _She smiled. "That sounds exciting," she said, fluttering her eyelashes at him. Then she reached out and put her hand on his arm. He jerked back. She frowned. "What's your deal?" she snarled._

 _He frowned back. "I got a girlfriend."_

 _She looked around, an annoyed look on her face. "I don't see her anywhere," she said._

" _She ain't here. She's in Natchez. Waiting for me."_

 _She raised her eyebrows. "Waiting for you? Seriously? I'm pretty sure, if you left her back home, she's not waiting for you."_

 _He scowled. He didn't want to believe that, not the way Rayna had begged him to stay. But he had told her she should move on. He didn't know if she really would though. "You don't know," he said angrily. He stood up and stepped out of the picnic bench. "I ain't looking for nobody else."_

 _Vince looked up then. "Hey, bud, what's going on?"_

 _Deacon glared at him. "I'm not looking for a girl, Vince. I done told you that. I'm outta here." He turned and started walking back in the direction of the motel._

" _Don't go, Deke! Come on back, man!" Vince hollered after him, but Deacon kept walking, fuming inside._

 _He wasn't ready to give up on Rayna. He just hoped she wasn't giving up on him._

He fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. He really wasn't ready for another girl. Even to satisfy an urge. He'd waited for Rayna, taken his time with her, because she meant something to him. She still did, and he wasn't ready to forget her just yet.

He thought again about the things Lamar Wyatt had said to him, how he'd tried to warn him off Rayna, how he'd tried to buy him off. He knew Lamar had nothing to do with Jed's explosion the night before he and Beverly had left, but he still felt a chill in his core when he thought about Lamar's face and his tone and the underlying threat. But he also didn't want to lose Rayna. She had been the best thing in his life and had given him hope for something better. And _that_ was still part of his dream too.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna could feel the hot mugginess in the air when she woke up on a late June morning. The first thing she was aware of was how sticky the air felt. It was like a damp, warm blanket filling up the room. She hated Mississippi in the summer. The second thing was remembering Deacon was gone, something she thought about every single day. He'd broken her heart in his truck on the road that led out of town, back before school even finished for the year. As the days passed, she thought it wouldn't still be so raw, but it was. She cried every day and now it was making her sick to her stomach again.

Which was the third thing she thought of, as she pushed herself out of bed and bolted for her bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet. When she was done she sat against the wall, panting and feeling weak. She grabbed a towel and wiped off her mouth, then lay on the cool tile floor, her hot cheek pressed against it. She could feel the tears welling up again and her head hurt.

She was sure she was pregnant, but she was afraid to go find out for sure. She also knew that was foolish, as her options grew more limited the longer she waited. She had no one in Natchez to confide in. When she'd made her decision to start a relationship with Deacon, she had totally and completely insulated herself. He had been her whole world. She had called Tandy, finally, and she had agreed to come get Rayna for a weekend in Jackson, where she was doing an internship. She knew her sister would take her somewhere so she could find out for sure.

She sat up and leaned against the wall. She reached her hands up and covered her breasts, wincing at the tenderness. They'd gotten bigger too, straining painfully against her bra and her blouses. In the last couple weeks, her stomach had started to pooch out and she slid one hand down over her nightgown to feel the roundness there. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, wondering what she was going to do.

She and Deacon had been careful, ever since the magical night she'd let him take her virginity. He was a surprisingly sweet and gentle lover, although as they'd gotten used to each other, the sex had gotten more raw and heated. But she'd had time to figure out exactly when she'd gotten pregnant.

It was prom night.

* * *

They hadn't actually gone to prom, but had gone out to the little shack in the woods where they most often made love instead. That night he'd brought a little flask of whiskey and it had been enough to get them both seriously tipsy, to the point where they had forgotten to be careful. It had to be then. There was no other time when she'd been inattentive.

At first she'd thought the crying was making her sick. She couldn't seem to stop, although she had to make herself not cry at school. It had been hard to be at school without him. Every time she went to the cafeteria or sat in her algebra class, and he wasn't there, she'd had to force herself not to give in to her grief. But she was getting sick every day, or almost every day, and food turned her stomach. She had gone to the library in town and sat at a table in a corner and flipped through a book about pregnancy.

All the signs were there. She hadn't had a period since April. She was exhausted, all the time. She couldn't stand the smell of flowers, something she'd always enjoyed. She was moody as hell. And her bras were tight. She'd actually lost a little weight, but her pants and skirts were tighter around the waist. She closed the book, put her face in her hands and cried.

She still hoped it wasn't true, that it was just all the emotions she was feeling after Deacon had left. She tried not to think about it, but one morning, after she'd gotten out of the shower, she'd caught a glimpse of her naked body in the mirror, and her heart sank. Her stomach, usually flat, was not. In fact, it had a distinct rounded shape to it. Not so much that she couldn't hide it still, but there it was. And she'd finally had to have Samuel drive her downtown so that she could shop for larger bras. That's when she'd called Tandy and invited herself to Jackson for the weekend.

* * *

Lamar had stood in the drive and waved as Tandy and Rayna drove out. Rayna was grateful that her morning sickness was truly only in the morning and that she felt good on the drive to Jackson. Tandy would be in her senior year at Rice and had snagged an important internship for the summer. She reached over and squeezed Rayna's hand. "Sweetie, I'm so glad you're coming for the weekend," she said.

Rayna felt a lump in her throat. "Me too," she murmured.

Tandy frowned and glanced over at her sister. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Rayna had forgotten how intuitive Tandy was. "What?"

"You don't seem like yourself," she said. "And you were so insistent about me coming to get you. Did you and Daddy have a fight?" Rayna shook her head. "Is this about Deacon?" Tandy knew Deacon was gone and Rayna knew she was relieved. She had agreed with their father that Deacon wasn't good for her. At the mention of Deacon's name, though, Rayna burst into tears. Tandy pulled into a parking lot and stopped the car, turning to her sister. "Did something happen? Did he come back?"

Rayna put her hands over her face and shook her head. "No," she mumbled. "He's still gone."

Tandy reached out and put her hand on Rayna's arm. "Sweetie, what is it? What's going on?" Tandy's voice was quiet and concerned, which made Rayna cry harder.

When she finally got control of herself, she looked at her sister. "I'm pregnant," she blurted out and Tandy gasped. "I think."

Tandy's eyes raked over her. "What makes you think so?" she asked.

Rayna could feel the tears again. "Well, I throw up every morning. And my clothes are tight." She took a couple of deep breaths. "And I haven't had a period since the beginning of April."

Tandy gasped again. "Oh, Rayna honey, why did you wait to tell someone?"

Rayna was crying again. "I don't know. I guess, I don't know, I guess I didn't want to believe it. We'd always been careful, except for one time, obviously, but I never thought I'd get pregnant."

Tandy took a deep breath. "Well, what do you want to do?" she asked, her voice gentle.

"I guess I need to find out for sure. That's first."

Tandy ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "And then what?"

Rayna wiped her eyes and then ran her hands over her legs. "Then I guess I'm gonna be a mama," she said.

* * *

It never occurred to her that she wouldn't keep her baby. It was Deacon's, after all, and she couldn't imagine giving it to someone else. She and Tandy didn't talk about that at first, however. Tandy got her a pregnancy test, which confirmed Rayna's suspicions, and then took her to get a blood test at a local clinic, which just made it certain. She was almost thirteen weeks pregnant.

Tandy took Rayna to her apartment and fixed her a cup of tea. She brought it back to her sister, who was curled up on the couch, her face blotchy from crying. Rayna looked up at Tandy and took the cup. "Thanks," she whispered. She took a sip and then set it down. Tandy sat down next to her and pulled her into her arms. "What am I going to do?" Rayna asked then.

Tandy took a deep breath and just held her sister for a moment. "What do you want to do?" she asked.

Rayna bit her lip. "I want to tell Deacon," she said, then started crying again.

Tandy didn't say anything at first, just rocking her sister. Finally she said, her voice soft, "Do you know where he went?"

Rayna shook her head. "He talked about Nashville or Memphis or Austin or anyplace that had music. He could be anywhere. I don't think there's any way I could find him." She started to cry again. She didn't think she'd ever cried this much in her life. She leaned her head back on Tandy's shoulder. "What am I gonna do?" she cried. "This is all such a mess."

Tandy made little shushing noises and smoothed Rayna's hair back off her face, continuing to rock her gently. Finally she said, "We'll figure it out, sweetie. I promise."

* * *

Rayna couldn't make herself open the car door. Tandy turned to her. "Sweetie, we have to do this," she said softly.

Rayna put her arms around her waist. She felt a little queasy thinking about having to tell her father she was pregnant. She looked at her sister. "He's going to be so angry," she said.

Tandy bit her lip and then nodded. "Yes, he probably will," she said. "And disappointed."

Rayna started to cry, pressing her fist against her mouth. She struggled to breathe for a moment. She then took a deep breath and clenched her fists in her lap, and looked over at Tandy. "I'm not giving this baby up," she said, her voice steely. "I know that's what he'll want, but I'm just not. This is _my_ baby. And Deacon's. I won't do that."

Tandy looked at her with compassion. "Rayna, you're just barely seventeen. You have your whole life ahead of you. A child is a big responsibility," she said.

Rayna frowned. "I don't care. Maybe we didn't mean to do this, but it happened. And my job is to keep this baby safe. To protect it. Even from Daddy." She breathed out. "Maybe especially from Daddy. I'm not going to let him bully me."

Tandy reached out and grabbed her hand. "I believe you," she said.

Rayna took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She could feel herself getting calm and centered. Being pregnant didn't scare her as much as the idea of raising a child, but knowing it was Deacon's and that she would always have a part of him with her, no matter what, made her feel stronger. She hoped he really would come back for her, as he'd promised. She looked down at the ring on her right hand and remembered his words. _Somehow, some way, I will come back for you._ She looked over at Tandy. "I'm ready," she said, and she opened the car door.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He finally seemed to have turned a corner on the songwriting thing. Every spare minute he had, he'd spend working on his music. He wasn't sure what exactly had changed, but he'd woken up the morning after Vince had dragged him to the park with the knowledge that he needed to fill up his time and stay as busy as he could. If he did that, the days and weeks and months would go by faster and it would be time to go back to Natchez for Rayna.

He'd woken up that particular morning thinking about the cheap whiskey Vince always seemed to have around. He was surprised at how easy, first the words, then the music, seemed to flow.

 _He sits all alone in his easy chair / Staring back on all his lost yesterdays / Long before he encountered the bottle / And the demons that drove her away / In his hand he is holding her photograph / Her image all tear-stained and worn / Tonight he's embracing reality / And he curses the day he was born_

 _And the darkness still echoes her warning / You can't have two loves in your life / Now the things that still haunt him / Till the day he dies / Is the smell of cheap whiskey / And the sound of goodbye_

Rayna had been right. It was something he knew, even though he hadn't written the dark side of it. But he did know how cheap whiskey could destroy everything that was good and that was what he wrote about.

 _Since the hour she left he's been sober / And each breath that he draws makes him think / Of the love of his life lost forever / When he traded her love for a drink_

 _And the darkness still echoes her warning / You can't have two loves in your life / Now the things that still haunt him / Till the day he dies / Is the smell of cheap whiskey / And the sound of goodbye_

Beverly had loved it. That had made him happy. Since they'd left Natchez, she'd seemed to shed some of her hard exterior. She laughed more. She relaxed more. And, in private moments, she'd told him she finally was sleeping through the night. He'd had to turn away from her then, so she wouldn't see his tears. They had both spent many nights awake or only lightly sleeping, never knowing if the darkness that settled over their lives might head down the hall and become a nightmare.

They were performing the song for the first time that night. He always felt a little nervous before the first time, wondering how the audience would react. It was times like these that he realized how much he wanted this dream. He felt like he'd been born to write songs and perform them. Even as much as he missed Rayna, he knew this to his core.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Lamar was sitting at the desk in his home office when Tandy and Rayna came in. Rayna felt a knot in her stomach and quivers of anxiety. Her father pushed back from the desk and smiled at the two of them. "Welcome back, girls," he said genially. "How was the weekend?"

"It was fine," Tandy said with a quick smile, then looked over at Rayna. "Rayna needs to talk to you about something."

Rayna saw the smile on his face start to fade and she felt sick to her stomach. Lamar raised his eyebrows. "What is it, Rayna?" he asked, his voice still calm but obviously wary.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She was determined not to cry. She wasn't sure how to start, so she just blurted it out. "I'm pregnant, Daddy," she said.

Lamar's face got red and his eyes narrowed. "You're what?"

She could feel the tears and blinked rapidly. "I'm going to have a baby," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lamar breathed in and out, then stood up. Tandy backed up a step and took Rayna's hand. "How could you be so stupid as to let this happen to you?" he said, his voice starting low and building to a shout. "I'm guessing that piece of trash forced himself on you."

Rayna got mad then and glared at him. "No, he did not. We were careful."

Lamar raised his eyebrows. "Not careful enough, though. And now, I suppose, he wants to ride on your coattails."

She stomped her foot. "He's not even here! He doesn't even know!" she shouted back at him.

He smiled sardonically. "So he's run out on you, has he? Not even here to be a man for you then?"

She took a step forward and Tandy grabbed her to hold her back. She clenched her fists by her side. "Stop it! If he knew, he'd be here," she said, with a bravado she didn't completely feel.

The smile vanished from Lamar's lips. "But he's not. And if he does come back, you won't be here."

She felt a cold chill. "What do you mean?"

"You're not staying here, Rayna. You're going to get rid of that spawn and leave Natchez."

She shook her head. "I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

She set her jaw. "I'm past three months. And I wouldn't do that anyway."

He fumed and turned away for a moment. Then he swung back around, his arm flying through the air. "Well, you're not staying here," he said firmly. "I'll call Eleanor and she can put you up. Then we'll find a suitable couple to take the child."

Rayna pulled against Tandy as though she was going to throw herself against Lamar. "No! I'm not giving up my baby! You can't make me!"

Lamar smiled. "Oh, you think I can't? In spite of the fact that you've dishonored yourself as well as me, you're still my minor daughter. I still have the right to make decisions on your behalf. And neither you nor the child of that lowlife will _ever_ live in my house." He looked at Tandy. "Get her out of my sight. I'll have Samuel come pick her up."

Rayna was shaking, both from rage as well as fear. She couldn't believe her father was actually going to kick her out of the house. Tandy put her arms around her. "No, Daddy, I'll take her. Call Aunt Eleanor and tell her we'll be there tomorrow."

Before Rayna could say another word, Tandy hurried her out of the room. As Tandy guided her down the hall, they could hear Lamar shout after them, "You'll never come back here, do you hear me? And if that white trash ever shows his face in Natchez again, it'll be the last time he does. I'll make sure he never comes close to you again!"

Rayna felt tears rolling down her face, both tears of anger and of anguish. There was a gnawing fear in the pit of her stomach that she would never see Deacon again.

 _ **A/N: The song Deacon writes is 'Cheap Whiskey' by Martina McBride.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Several reviewers have mentioned the lack of music focus, so far, for Rayna. Don't worry, it's coming, but in a different way. Also, yes, social media is a long ways off. I've been intentionally vague about when this all takes place, but it is before the advent of social media and cellphones. And let's just say that Deacon would probably not be much of a letter writer, despite being a songwriter. I'm also choosing to assume he would be wary of trying to reach Rayna via a landline.**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

The club on the northeast side of downtown was three-quarters full. It was a place they'd played twice before and there were clearly some folks who'd seen them before. The booking agent had been pleased to get them in, which told them they'd generated some positive buzz. Their set was now a little over half songs Deacon had written, so to have a positive response meant that he was hitting the right note in that regard. They finished up with a song Deacon had written with Vince.

 _You were the first thing that I thought of / When I thought I drank you off my mind / When I get lost in the liquor / You're the only one I find / And if I did the things I oughta / You still would not be mine / So I'll keep a tight grip on the bottle / Gettin' loose and killin' time_

 _This killin' time is killin' me / Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see / That if I cross that line and they bury me / I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity_

The crowd was enthusiastic. Deacon and Vince were enjoying performing the song together. It had felt good to finally break through on songwriting and Deacon found that, once he had, the songs kept coming. This had been a good one for him to sing with his best friend.

 _I don't know nothin' 'bout tomorrow / I've been lost in yesterday / I've spent all my life just dying / For a love that passed away / And if there's an end to all my sorrow / And this is the only price I'll pay / I'll be a happy man when I go / And I can't wait another day_

 _This killin' time is killin' me / Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see / That if I cross that line and they bury me / I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity_

They wrapped it up and the crowd cheered. Deacon smiled at the reception, feeling good. He looked over at Vince, then at Beverly. She didn't like giving up much of the spotlight, but she'd been a good sport on the handful of songs Deacon led on. And tonight she had a genuine smile on her face as they wrapped the set.

"Thank y'all!" he called out, raising his hand in gratitude. It had been a good night. They still weren't performing as often as they wanted to, but they were on stage, doing what they loved. They packed up then and headed out. His head was still buzzing from the noise and the adrenaline. Every time he stepped on a stage, it felt like home. He wished Rayna were here to experience it with him, but he was just counting the days until he could go back to Natchez and get her once and for all.

* * *

Vince was waiting in the truck when Deacon got off work. Vince was 'between jobs', which meant he'd been fired, or quit, and had yet to pick up another, so he'd borrowed Deacon's truck for the day to check on what was available. Deacon had picked up some fried chicken and mac and cheese at the end of his shift and carried that out in a bag. When he got in the truck, Vince looked over at him.

"Talked to my brother today," he said. Vince called home collect on a regular basis. Beverly and Doug were always worried Vince was homesick and that these frequent calls home would one day result in him heading back to Natchez, especially since he had trouble holding onto a job and their gigs were sporadic.

Deacon wasn't really interested in the news from home, but he always played along. "Yeah?" he said, reaching in the bag for a drumstick. He handed one to Vince, who snatched it up, taking a large bite.

After he chewed up the bite of chicken, Vince cleared his throat. "So, here's some interesting news for you," he said. Deacon looked over at him. "I asked Billy to check on the princess."

Deacon rolled his eyes. He hated that Vince called her that too. But he raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" He did wonder what Rayna was doing and how she was doing. They'd only been gone a few months, but it felt like years sometimes. He'd promised her to come back at the end of her senior year and that was still his plan. He hated that he didn't have a way of staying in touch with her, but there was no way he'd call her house and risk her father answering the phone.

Vince looked at him for a second. "She ain't in school," he said.

Deacon frowned. "What do you mean, she ain't in school?" he asked.

Vince shrugged. "Just that. She didn't show up at the first of the year. The rumor is her daddy withdrew her."

Deacon didn't like the sound of that. He didn't understand why Rayna would not have gone back to school. "She change schools or something?" he asked. There were private schools in town she could have gone to. That would make sense.

"Don't know. Nobody's seen her around." Vince tossed the chicken bone out the window. He reached his hand over to the bag on Deacon's lap. "Gimme another piece of chicken, boy," he said.

Deacon didn't say anything as Vince rooted around in the bag for another drumstick. He just sat, looking out the window, wondering what was happening with Rayna.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna stood at the window, watching Tandy drive away. They'd packed up the things they thought she'd need and then Tandy had taken Rayna to her apartment in Jackson, where they'd spent the night. They'd driven to Eleanor's house in Biloxi the next morning. Rayna had clung to Tandy before she left and Tandy had promised to come visit before she returned to Houston at the end of the summer. And now, even though Eleanor had been welcoming, Rayna felt alone.

When Tandy's car disappeared from view, Rayna turned and walked over to the couch. She sat, wondering what was next and what her life would be like from this point forward. She started to cry when Eleanor sat down and put her arm around her. All the pent-up anguish and hurt welled up and spilled over as she felt her aunt's loving embrace. "Shh, now," Eleanor said softly. "It's all going to be okay."

She looked up at her aunt, with tears streaking her face. "How can it be? I'm seventeen and pregnant, my boyfriend is gone and I don't know where he is, Daddy kicked me out, and I have nowhere to go," she cried.

Eleanor smiled. "You're here, aren't you?"

Rayna tried to smile back. "You know what I mean." She sighed. "I don't know why Daddy has to be so awful. I mean, I get why he's disappointed. But he was just, you know, _mean_." She crossed her arms. "He's just awful."

Eleanor pulled her close. "Oh, sweetheart, he's not really awful. He's scared." Rayna looked at her with disbelief. Eleanor smiled. "He _is_ , dear. I promise." She hugged her niece again. "Look, being Lamar Wyatt's sister is almost as hard as being his daughter, I guarantee you that. He's a complex man." She breathed out. "You know, when he took over Wyatt Industries, back when he was just a few years out of college, it was on the brink of collapse. Our father had not done a good job with it and, truthfully, he was an alcoholic, although he hid it fairly well. But it affected his business decisions and your father had to come in and save the company. He was very focused on that and he's determined, which is why the company is so successful now. But when he met your mother…" Eleanor looked away for a moment and Rayna looked up at her, waiting. "Well, let's just say that he lost his heart." She looked back at Rayna. "He adored your mother, worshipped her. And Virginia was so different from Lamar. She was vivacious and animated, always laughing, the life of the party. Pretty, fun-loving. I mean, he fell head over heels for her."

Rayna wrinkled her brow. "That just doesn't seem like him."

Eleanor laughed. "I know. But he was entranced. And, you know, he was movie star handsome, successful, and he catered to her, and she loved that." She sighed. "I think she loved that a lot more than she loved him, to be honest. I don't know everything that went on in their marriage, because I wasn't close to Virginia and your father wouldn't talk to me about it, but, honey, I do know he was devastated when she left and took you girls with her. You don't remember, but he adored you and Tandy. He had never been prouder of anyone than he was of you two girls. And you" – she smiled fondly at her niece – "you were his special one. And you were such a daddy's girl."

Rayna looked surprised. "Really?"

Eleanor nodded. "Really. So he was really hurt badly when the three of you left. And then your mother wouldn't let him bring the two of you to Natchez, because she was afraid he would keep y'all there. It was so painful for him, whenever he would go to Austin, that he stopped going. And he became more of the man you see now. He closed himself off and pretended like he didn't care anymore." She rubbed her hand up and down Rayna's arm. "He hardened his heart, because if he didn't, he didn't think he could go on. He became so ruthless and driven, which just covered up his heartbreak. When your mother died and I brought you to him, he was scared. He didn't know how to be a father and he didn't know what your mother might have said to you about him." She looked hard at Rayna then. "He only wants the best for you, sweetheart. I know he didn't really show it in the way you might have wanted him to, but I know he loves you so much. You are his baby girl and he wants you to have only the best. I think his problem with the boy you were seeing was that he was afraid. He was taking you away from him."

"But he never gave Deacon a chance. I know he came from bad circumstances, but he's a good person. He really is."

Eleanor smiled. "I'm sure he is. I don't think you would care for him the way you do if he wasn't. But, you know, you're in exactly the situation I think your father was afraid you'd be in. He wanted more for you and I know he feels like he's failed. The one thing he did say to me, when I brought you to Natchez, was that he wasn't sure he knew how to be a father. And I know he feels like he didn't guide you enough, didn't show you how much he loved you."

Rayna frowned. "He definitely didn't do that. He kept trying to control me. And now he's abandoned me."

Eleanor nodded. "He hasn't abandoned you, Rayna. Not really. He gave you to me. Because he doesn't know what to do right now. If he really had abandoned you, he would have put you on the street. But he gave you to me, because he knew I'd take care of you for him. It gives him time to get his mind around all of this. I think he'll be there for you, in the end."

Rayna huffed. "He said I could never come back to Natchez," she said.

"He didn't mean that. He was just disappointed and hurt and confused and he felt helpless." She hugged Rayna again. "His baby girl is pregnant. And alone. And he's scared, for you and for your baby. His grandchild." Rayna looked up at her. "You watch. He'll come around. I don't know when, but he'll come around. He won't let you be alone with this baby."

Rayna got teary. "I don't know if I believe that." She put her hand protectively on her stomach. "I feel like it's going to be the two of us against the world." She clenched her jaw. "I will always take care of this baby. That's my job, even if I'm just seventeen. I want this baby. So much." She looked up at Eleanor. "This baby belongs to Deacon and me. And I'm going to always love and protect it. I believe one day he'll come back to me and we'll be waiting for him."

* * *

Rayna was sitting on the couch, her legs tucked up underneath her. She was reading a magazine, her elbow on the arm of the couch. Just then Eleanor came in, home from work. Rayna dropped the magazine on the floor. "Hey, Aunt Eleanor," she said.

Her aunt smiled. "Hello, dear. How was your day?"

Rayna shrugged. "Boring. I did school work with the tutor this morning and then I took a nap." She sighed. "I don't understand why I'm so tired all the time."

Aunt Eleanor smiled fondly and walked over to sit next to her niece. "You're pregnant, sweetheart," she said. "That's why. It's not unusual for you to be tired."

Rayna looked down at her expanding belly. She felt like she was getting bigger every day. She didn't like going out anywhere anymore, now that her pregnancy was so obvious. When her aunt had taken her to buy clothes, she'd felt like everyone was staring at her. She was so clearly not an adult and she was having a baby. It wasn't that she regretted it – it was Deacon's baby after all, and that meant she loved it immediately – but she felt judged. The way she felt her father had judged her.

She couldn't help it. She started to cry. Aunt Eleanor reached for her hand. "Tell me about him," she said soothingly. "Tell me about your young man."

Rayna breathed in deeply and turned on the couch so that she was facing her aunt, her legs crossed under her. She wiped at the tears with the heels of her hands and sniffed. Then she smiled a little tremulously. "Everybody told me he was wrong for me," she said, her voice quivering a bit. "That he was poor and his family was bad news and that all he wanted was my money." Her voice got stronger. "But he wasn't like that at all, Aunt Eleanor. He was kind and loving and he was so sweet to me. When we decided to…you know, well, he was so gentle and _careful_. He was careful, always. And he was always doing nice things for me. Letting me wear his jacket when it was chilly or putting ice in my hot tea when it was too hot. He always brought me home on time and he tried to be nice to Daddy, even when Daddy was awful to him." She rubbed her hands over her arms. "He's so talented too. I loved hearing him sing and play the guitar. And he was trying to write songs." She blushed. "He even wrote a song for me."

Eleanor smiled at her. "He did?" Rayna nodded. "I'm sure that was very special."

Rayna smiled. "It was. So special," she said, her voice soft. She drew in a shaky breath. "The only night we weren't careful was the prom. We actually didn't even go to prom, we went to a private place we'd go to. He brought some whiskey. And we had too much obviously. We weren't pass out drunk, just tipsy and we just were careless." The tears came again. "And then he left."

Eleanor squeezed her hand. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I know it's hard, especially not knowing where he is, not being able to tell him about this."

Rayna nodded. "I wish I could tell him. But he really wants to be a performer. To be a songwriter. It's his dream. He's wanted to do this for a lot longer than he's known me. And I would want him to do this. I would never want to be in the way of that." She sighed. "He said he'd come back for me at the end of my senior year." She felt tears welling up. "I don't even know if I'll be in Natchez then. What if he comes back and I'm not even there?" She started to cry. "I might have lost him forever."

 _ **~Deacon~**_

The slamming door to the motel room startled Deacon awake. He sat up in the bed and blinked, feeling irritated, as Vince stood there, breathing hard. "What the hell?" he said, grouchily. He wasn't working that day and hoped to catch up on some sleep.

Vince had an odd look on his face, a mix of shock and confusion. "I was just talking to my dad," he said. Vince went to a pay phone religiously, once a week, and called home. His calls were usually mundane stuff, but occasionally he brought back tidbits of information, as he had with the news Rayna was not in school. But, like the Claybourne family, the Jameson family didn't run in the fancy circles in Natchez, so most of the news he brought back was uninteresting. Deacon was sure this was no different. Vince took a deep breath. "Man, your house burned down."

That got Deacon's attention and he frowned. "What?"

"Your house burned down. With your parents in it."

Deacon felt like he'd been hit by a train. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around what Vince had just said. "What?" he said again.

Vince shook his head. "Hey, man, I'm sorry."

Deacon closed his eyes and breathed in, then opened his eyes again and focused on Vince. "When?" he asked. It felt surreal and he was somewhat surprised that he wasn't having any emotion about the news.

"Over the weekend, Dad said." That meant it had been five days ago. "But they didn't know right away that anyone was inside. Man, I really am sorry."

Deacon just sat, as though he were in a trance, then he suddenly breathed in sharply and refocused on Vince. "No worries," he said. He pushed back the covers and swung his legs off the bed. "I guess I need to tell Beverly." He pushed himself up and started to pull on some clothes.

* * *

Deacon and Beverly stood at the place where they had lived. Although it had been almost a week since the fire, they were told, there was still the scent of it in the air. Deacon knew he should probably feel something, if not sadness, at least regret, but he didn't, really. Except a bit of regret for his mother. But she had cast her lot with Jed, over the years, and so his feelings were mixed. He knew the same was true for Beverly.

She stood there with her arms wrapped around her waist, just staring at the remains of the house. "I can't believe it's actually over," she whispered. She turned to look at him and he looked back at her. "It's over, Deacon. It's really over." She bit her lip. "I know it sounds awful to think that way, but you know."

He breathed in and nodded. "What you wanna do?" he asked.

She looked back at the burned down house. "I wanna go back to Memphis," she said, her voice stronger. "This doesn't change anything. You know that. The dream is still the same."

He sighed. She was right. The dream was still the same. But he was in Natchez. Even though Vince had told him Rayna wasn't in school, it didn't mean she wasn't in Natchez. He needed to see for himself. "I wanna see Rayna," he said.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Vince told you she wasn't here," she said. "You don't believe him?" Deacon was silent. That wasn't exactly what Vince had said, but he didn't want to get into it with her. Beverly shook her head. "Do what you want," she said dismissively.

He raised his shoulders, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'll take you to that motel up the road," he said angrily. "We'll go back in the morning."

"You sure are stubborn, baby brother, you know that?" she said, heading for the truck.

He didn't care what she thought. He needed to get some answers. He followed her to the truck and headed for the motel.

* * *

As he drove up the driveway to the Wyatt house, he wasn't sure what he expected to find. He needed somehow for Rayna to know he had come, even if she wasn't here. He parked his truck, got out and headed up the steps. He knocked on the door and waited. He was surprised when Lamar opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" the older man asked him, his face unwelcoming.

He swallowed hard. He couldn't help but remember how Lamar had warned him not to come back. He cleared his throat. "Where's Rayna?" he asked.

Lamar scowled. "She's not here."

Deacon breathed in. "Where is she?" he asked again.

Lamar took a step out of the door and waved his arm towards the road. "Just go on now, you hear?" he said, raising his voice. "I told you not to come back here. I won't let you ruin her life any more than you already have."

Deacon didn't move. "Where is she?"

Lamar took another step closer. "She's gone, boy. Left Natchez. You're wasting your time here."

Deacon frowned. "I don't believe you," he said.

Lamar raised his eyebrows. "I don't care if you believe me or not. But she's not here," he said, his voice low and menacing. "And you're not getting near her again. She's not coming back here. So you might as well go back to wherever it was you went to." He turned and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Deacon could feel himself shaking. He couldn't believe Rayna would really leave. "You tell her I came for her!" he shouted at the door, but he was pretty sure Lamar would do no such thing. He stood staring at the door for several minutes, as though Rayna would come and prove her father wrong. But she didn't. Finally he turned and walked slowly down the steps. He got in his truck and sat for a moment, his head back with his eyes closed. _Where is she? Why ain't she here? Did she not believe I'd come back?_

He felt tears sting his eyes and he took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and started the truck. As he drove down the driveway, he rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't believe she was really gone, although Vince had heard it and now her father had seemed to confirm it.

He got to the end of the driveway and turned left, headed for the high school.

* * *

He leaned against his truck, shrugging into his jacket, his hands in his pockets. He watched as students started to pour out of the school and head towards the parking lot. When he saw Cassie Sommers, he pushed himself away from the truck and walked towards her. When she saw him, her eyes narrowed and she frowned.

"I thought you left town," she said, her voice cold. She gave her friends a small nod, sending them away.

He frowned back. "I'm looking for Rayna," he said.

"Why would I know anything about Rayna?" He just glared at her and she rolled her eyes. "She's sure better off without you." He felt a lump in his throat then. He rolled his shoulders forward and, as hard as he tried, he could feel the tears in his eyes again. He bit his lip.

Cassie looked like she was going to walk away, but she suddenly seemed to soften just a bit. "Actually I don't know where she is. She didn't come back to school this year. After you left, she seemed kind of heartbroken. And she always looked kind of pale and kept to herself. All we heard was that she dropped out of school."

He breathed in slowly and nodded. "Thanks," he said.

"Did you go by her house?"

He nodded. "Her father said she wasn't in Natchez."

Cassie shrugged. "Considering she pretty much vanished without a trace, I'd say that's probably true. Sorry." Then she turned and walked off.

He stood there for a moment, not paying attention to any of the other students who passed by. He felt like his heart was shattering into a million pieces. He couldn't believe she really was gone, that she hadn't waited for him after all. He finally turned back and got in his truck.

As he headed for the motel, he struggled with the reality that she was gone. He'd known she was upset, but he must have underestimated how she'd felt. He'd lost her. The best thing he'd ever had in his life. But it was over. He needed to move forward.

One day, he would look back on this and wish he'd done things differently, but in the moment, it seemed pointless to hang on to hope.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna put down her pencil and pushed back from the table. The house was quiet. Her aunt was still at work and wouldn't be home until after dinner. She'd finished all the schoolwork she'd been assigned and now she was bored. She went over and stretched out on the couch in the den. The last couple years had been hard. First her mother had died and her father had come to Austin and brought her back to Natchez with him. And now, after a year in Natchez, she'd been sent to her Aunt Eleanor's home in Biloxi to wait for her baby to be born.

She looked down at her growing belly. Her aunt had taken her to buy maternity clothes, but more often than not, she found herself wearing sweats and extra-large t-shirts. Both easily accommodated her expanding midsection and were comfortable. And it wasn't like she was going out anywhere. It was fall on the calendar, but still summertime warm along the coast. The baby wouldn't be born until midwinter.

Rayna sighed. She really appreciated everything her aunt was doing for her. She took Rayna to doctor's appointments, picked up her prenatal vitamins, had arranged for the tutor so that she could finish high school. She'd been so supportive, listening and letting Rayna dictate the conversation. Eleanor had been the one with her the day she'd found out her baby was a girl. She wondered what Deacon would think about having a girl. _Would he be happy? Would he have wished for a son? Would he have been there at all?_

She sat up then and put her hands on either side of her belly. She felt a huge lump in her throat and the tears seemed to well up from her chest. Her father had told her, under no uncertain terms, that she would have to give up her baby, although she had no intention of doing that. He never came to visit her, even though Natchez was not that far away. She knew he didn't want to see the evidence of her relationship with Deacon and that just increased the tears. She cried every day, thinking about Deacon, wondering where he was, wishing he were with her.

She thought back to the day he'd told her he was leaving Natchez, unsure where he and Beverly would end up. He'd been so adamant that he couldn't stay there, couldn't end up like his parents. She knew it had been hard for him to leave her. She knew now that that last time they'd made love – in the back of his truck, like they often did, the day before his father had beaten up the whole family – she was already pregnant. She hadn't known it then, didn't even suspect it until after he was gone. She ran her hands gently over her belly. She had no intention of giving away her baby, Deacon's baby. She was going to cling to this child, who was all she had left of the boy she loved beyond measure.

Just then she felt something she'd never felt before. Deep inside her, it was like butterfly wings, a light, gentle fluttering. She held her breath, waiting for it to happen again. Several minutes passed before she felt it again. Angel wings, is what she would say later. The first time she felt her baby move had felt like angel wings, and in that moment she felt a love so fierce and overwhelming that it took her breath away. She felt a love she had never felt before in her life, different even than the romantic love she felt for Deacon. It was something deep and primal and pure, something she knew would never leave her. And even though, in a few months, this baby would leave her body, the fact that they were joined like this now meant her love for her child would always be there, always unconditional.

She walked to her room, almost like she was in a dream, the gentle fluttering continuing. She sat on her bed and picked up the picture of Deacon she had on the bedside table. She put her other hand on her belly, the fluttering seeming to grow a little stronger. "Our baby, our little girl," she whispered, as she looked into his smiling face in the picture. "I promise I will always love this baby and I will take care of her and raise her up the best way I know how. I hope you'll come back to us, like you promised, and then we can be a family." Then she pressed the picture against her chest and she sobbed, with her need and her anguish at being without him.

 _ **The song 'Killin' Time' is by Clint Black.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Thanks so much for reading!**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

By the end of the year, gigs had slowed down in Memphis. Everyone was getting restless. Vince had been talking about going home and Beverly pulled Deacon aside to discuss it. "You need to talk him out of that, baby brother," she said, her jaw set and her eyes narrowed.

Deacon thought about it for a minute and then sighed. "It don't make no difference anymore, Bev," he said. "The whole reason we left don't exist no more."

Beverly widened her eyes. "Are you kidding me? We didn't just do this because of our parents. We did it because we wanted to perform. Right?" She got in his face. "Right?"

He looked away from her, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I guess," he said.

She grabbed his arm and jerked him towards her. Her eyes were flashing and her lip curled back. "We could be famous, Deacon. You know that. I know it's frustrating to not get gigs, but we have to keep at it." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare give up on us."

He shook her hand off his arm and took a step back. "Maybe we do need to take a break," he said.

"What, so you can go back and see if Rayna's daddy was lying to you?" He frowned but said nothing. She leaned towards him. "You need to settle Vince down. Because we sure as hell aren't going back to Natchez, Mississippi." She practically spat out the last two words.

He took a deep breath and let it out. Truth was, he didn't think there was any point to going back to Natchez. If Rayna wasn't there, he might as well just keep doing what he was doing.

* * *

It was a chilly night just before New Year's, flurries dancing through the air. They had just finished a well-received set at the Barn Door, one of their more regular places to play. Deacon and Vince had stayed behind, letting Doug and Beverly take their gear back in Doug's truck. They sat at the bar with beers, even though they weren't old enough to legally drink and the bartender knew it. But he liked the guys and tended to look the other way.

"Good night, huh?" Deacon said, tipping his bottle towards Vince.

Vince tapped his bottle against Deacon's. "Yeah, it was." He sighed. "I wish we'd have a lot more like this though." He looked past Deacon and winked at a girl at the far end of the bar.

Deacon took a long swallow of his beer. "Yeah, me too." He put the bottle down and took a deep breath. "I'm thinking we should head to Nashville."

Vince looked surprised. "Really?" He smiled. "I thought I'd convinced you to head on home."

Deacon took another swallow of beer and looked down at the bar, shaking his head. "Nah, man. Nothing left there. I should just be going on."

Vince was silent for a moment. "You're giving up?"

Deacon breathed in and raised his eyebrows, looking over at his friend. "I don't know if it's giving up. I think maybe it's accepting the truth, ya know? No use hoping for something ain't gonna happen."

Vince drained his beer and tipped it towards the bartender, indicating he wanted another. The bartender put two fresh cold ones on the bar in from of them. Vince picked his up and took a drag. "Well, you're probably right about that." He took another swallow. "So, you think we should go to Nashville, huh?"

Deacon nodded. "I do. That's really where it's all happening anyway. Might as well try our luck there. I mean, if we really got what it takes, that's where we'll find out."

Vince shrugged. "I guess you're right." He grinned and bumped his elbow against Deacon's arm. "So does that mean you'll start chasing girls with me now?"

Deacon looked over at him and smirked. "Don't press your luck," he said.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna rolled herself onto her side, groaning as she did. These days it seemed to take a lot out of her and she laid there for a moment to catch her breath. Then she slid her legs off the bed and raised up on her elbow, pushing herself up into a sitting position. As she breathed out, she looked down at her stomach and put one hand on it as she felt the baby moving.

She was less than a week from her due date and she felt ungainly. As the baby pressed up into her ribs she tried sitting up straighter and then just slid off the bed. She ran her hands over her stomach, hoping the baby would settle down. Then she made her way to the bathroom.

After she'd pee'd, she stood in front of the mirror, turning to the side. She ran a hand over her stomach, then held the fabric of her nightgown taut. She felt huge, although her doctor told her she had done well on her weight gain.

Once the baby had become active, it had all felt more real to her. When it was just her stomach getting larger, it had felt a little like a dream. But when she'd felt the fluttering, like angel wings, inside her, she had been fascinated. And it was then that she knew for sure she could never give up her daughter. She took a deep breath as she felt the tears well up, as they did often. She would go to bed every night dreaming that Deacon was with her and wake to the disappointing reality that he was not.

Her stomach growled then and she sighed, wiping away the tears. She reached for her robe and then made her way out to the hallway and down the stairs.

* * *

Rayna was exhausted. Labor had started in the early hours of the morning, ten days after her due date. She had come to the hospital, finally, in the middle of the afternoon and now it was early evening. The doctor had been in to examine her but she hadn't progressed much since she'd arrived. She was having regular contractions, but they weren't productive. She was feeling frustrated, ready for the baby to be born.

Her aunt had been with her, making sure she was comfortable, getting her water, helping her walk up and down the halls. A nurse had been in to check Rayna's vitals and see how the baby was doing and had just left. Eleanor patted her arm. "I'm going to go get some coffee, dear," she said. "Will you be okay?"

Rayna nodded and watched her aunt walk out. Another contraction started and she leaned back against the pillow, grasping the bed rails as she breathed in and out. When it was over, she looked down at her stomach. "Please hurry, baby girl," she whispered.

She heard footsteps hurrying down the hall and then Tandy burst into the room. She rushed over and pulled Rayna into a hug. "I can't believe my baby sister's having a baby today," she cried.

At that, Rayna burst into tears.

Tandy looked concerned. "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry," she said.

Rayna shook her head. "It's okay. It's just a little overwhelming. Plus I can't believe this is really happening to me." Tandy had an odd look on her face. "I don't mean I don't want her," she said. "I just wish I was doing this with Deacon."

Tandy nodded and reached for Rayna's hand. "I know. But you have us. We'll take care of you. And the baby."

Rayna fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do. Where I'm going. How am I going to take care of her properly?"

"You'll come home to Natchez," came Lamar's voice. Rayna's eyes flew open in surprise.

"Daddy," she whispered.

He kept his eyes on her face. She knew he didn't want to see her stomach, didn't want to acknowledge the baby inside her. She felt herself get hot with anger and she frowned. "I'm keeping her, Daddy," she said firmly. "You need to know that."

He nodded. "I know." He paused. "There's room for both of you."

She was shocked. Tandy squeezed her hand. "Really?" she asked, a little breathlessly. "Are you sure?"

Lamar looked slightly annoyed. "You're my daughter, Rayna. And even though I wish you hadn't done this, the fact is, this is my granddaughter. I would never put her out on the street. You're too young to be a mama, but you're going to be one anyway. I won't let your foolish choices keep that child from having all she deserves."

Rayna couldn't decide if she was happy or mad. Maybe a little of both. But what mattered was being able to take care of her daughter. And so she smiled just a little. "Thank you, Daddy."

He shook his head and frowned, waving his hand in the air. "Oh, I'm not doing this for you, Rayna. You're still going to have to face the judgement of others over letting yourself get in the family way by that ragamuffin, white trash boy. But your daughter deserves a home, where she can be taken care of. This is for _her_ , make no mistake about that." And he turned and left the room.

She turned and looked at Tandy and then she gripped her sister's hand tightly as the next contraction washed over her like a hard wave.

* * *

"Oh, my God," Rayna groaned. This was harder than she'd thought it would be and the discomfort was overwhelming. She grabbed Tandy's hand and squeezed hard. It was almost eleven and she was finally getting ready to deliver her baby. She was exhausted.

"Push, Rayna," the doctor said, and she did. And suddenly there was her daughter.

Rayna started to cry as she looked at the squirmy baby the doctor held up in his hands. Then she started to laugh as she realized it was all over. A nurse brought the baby close to her for a moment and Rayna reached her hand out to touch her crying baby. Then the nurse whisked her off to be checked out and to clean her up. Rayna followed the baby with her eyes, not wanting to let her out of her sight. She felt a twinge of anxiety in her chest, worrying that somehow her father might swoop in and make off with her child before she could get her hands on her. But in what seemed like seconds, the nurse was back with the blanket wrapped, squirming baby who was mewling discontentedly until she was placed in Rayna's arms.

Rayna tuned everything out that was going on around her as she concentrated on the angry-faced little girl. She reached up and tentatively touched the dark, wispy hair on her daughter's head, thinking how much it looked like Deacon's. She ran her finger over the little frown between the baby's eyes, remembering Deacon's face looking the same. She captured the baby's waving hand and noticed she had her father's long fingers. Rayna bit down on her lip as the tears welled up in her eyes. As she rubbed her thumb over the baby's palm, she seemed to mellow out. The frown disappeared and her eyes opened, the color of blue crystal, just like Deacon's.

Rayna felt an overwhelming love for this tiny baby wash over her and she leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. She let go of the baby's hand and touched her finger gently to her cheek, smiling. "Hey, there, sweet girl," she cooed. "I'm your mama." She kissed her again. "I'm gonna take care of you and keep you safe and teach you everything I know," she whispered. "No one will ever love you as much as I do, sweet girl. Always remember that."

"She's beautiful," Tandy said softly, leaning over the bed rail behind Rayna.

Rayna turned to her sister and smiled. "She is, isn't she?" she said, feeling proud. Tandy looked at her with a question in her eyes and Rayna's smiled faded just a touch. "She looks like Deacon. _I_ think so, anyway."

Tandy nodded. "What's her name? I know you'd decided, so hopefully now you'll tell us."

Rayna looked back at the baby. "Madeleine Virginia," she said. "Madeleine for Aunt Eleanor and Virginia for Mom." Tandy put her hand on her sister's arm and rubbed it appreciatively. "I'm going to call her Maddie."

"It's lovely, sweetie," Tandy murmured. "Just like she is."

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon was busing tables during lunch at the Hermitage Café when Beverly burst in. She scurried up to him, a huge smile on her face. "Deacon, Deacon, Deacon," she squealed, clapping her hands. "We've got another gig. Guess where?"

He set down the bus pan and shook his head. "No idea, Bev," he said. "Tell me."

"Shotgun Sally's. Down in Murfreesboro." Beverly looked over the moon. "I know. It's not in Nashville proper, but it's an actual gig. An hour and a half. Not just an open mic, baby brother." She playfully punched his arm and screwed her face up into a grin. "You were right."

He smirked. "I was? Right about what?"

She made a face. "You know. You were right when you said we should come to Nashville." She smiled again. "I just have a good feeling about this place, Deacon. I think we're gonna make it."

He smiled at her. "I'm just hoping we start to get enough going we can all start doing it full time." He picked up his bus pan. "I think we need to try to get into open mic at the Bluebird again. One of these times we gotta get in." The Bluebird was the toughest open mic ticket in town. It had a reputation for creating magic and every singer/songwriter who hit town wanted in on it.

Beverly nodded. "I know. But if we get a paying gig on a Monday night, we gotta take that instead. You know?"

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "So when is Shotgun Sally's?"

"Tomorrow night."

He smiled at her. "I think you should finish with 'Wayfaring Stranger', Bev. That one really shows off your vocals."

"You don't think it's too…dark?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Think about it." He started to turn away. "I gotta get back to work."

She smiled. "See you tonight then." She turned and left. He smiled to himself. He hadn't seen his sister this happy in a very long time. It really had been the right decision to come to Nashville after all.

* * *

They had left for Nashville on New Year's Day. A new start for the new year, Beverly had said. Some things hadn't changed. They were still living in an extended stay motel and they still had to have other jobs to make ends meet. But they'd only been in Nashville about five weeks and Deacon already felt like things were shifting in the right direction. They pored over every newspaper and periodical in town every day, hunting down open mics. They had tried to get in at the Bluebird, but hadn't been successful, but they'd found open mics everywhere. Some had led to a paying gig, like the one they were doing at Shotgun Sally's. Open mics could be auditions for something bigger. Every time they had the chance to be on stage meant they were one step closer to their goal.

Deacon hung up his apron and washed his hands before clocking out. "Hey, sugar," came the voice of the waitress who'd taken him under her wing when he'd started at the diner. He turned towards her and smiled. He couldn't guess how old she was, but he knew she was quite a bit older than him. She had been a looker when she was younger, though, he could tell. She was another one who'd come to Nashville with a guitar and some songs and stars in her eyes. When there was a lull in customer traffic, she'd share some of her stories and listen to his.

"Hey, Shelby," he said.

She walked up to him and jammed a wad of bills in his pocket. "I saved you some of my tips," she said. "You did good today, keeping my area clear."

He shrugged. "Just my job," he said.

She shook her head. "You're a hard worker, Deacon. I know this isn't what you want to be doing. Lord knows, none of us do. We all come here with that dream. Some of us get it, some of us don't. I'm predicting you'll be one who does." She gave him a quick smile. "That song you showed me, that stuff's good."

He blushed a little. "It ain't finished."

"You need to finish it." She reached out and touched his arm briefly. "You got a way with words, that's for sure. I don't think you'll be busing tables for too awfully much longer here."

He smiled appreciatively. "I hope you're right." He touched his pocket. "And thanks for this." Shelby wasn't the only waitress who'd share tips with him, but she was the most consistent.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," she said. He nodded and, picking up his jacket from the hook by the time clock, he raised his hand in a wave and walked towards the back door, shrugging on his jacket as he walked.

* * *

He had a good feeling about Nashville. He couldn't have said why exactly, but he'd felt comfortable there, more so than he'd felt in Memphis. Or Natchez. But then Natchez memories were all wrapped up in Rayna Wyatt now, even if she was no longer there. She had been that one tiny ray of sunshine in all the dark years he'd lived there. He wondered what had happened to her, where she'd gone, _why_ she'd gone. Had she left because he had?

He thought about what her father had said to him. _I won't let you ruin her life any more than you already have._ He didn't know what that meant. Did it mean he knew they'd had sex? He didn't think that had ruined Rayna's life, but then maybe a father would think that about his daughter. But he had loved Rayna. Still loved Rayna. He would never have hurt her, would never have knowingly ruined her life.

But he _had_ hurt her. Leaving Natchez, leaving her, that had hurt her. He knew that. He'd never meant to, hadn't wanted to, but it was inevitable. He realized that now. He was always going to go and she had probably realized that too. It was why she had left, so that she could start over, put him out of her head. He wondered if she'd gone back to Austin, or to wherever it was her sister was. She'd mentioned an aunt once, the woman who'd come for her when her mom died. But he had no idea where the aunt lived.

He sighed. He needed to move on, move past it. But he also knew he'd never forget Rayna. Never, as long as he lived. He'd write about her, write about how that felt, write about life without her. She'd always encouraged his dream and he'd write about that too. He thought about the verse he'd shown to Shelby, the beginning of a song about the life he'd chosen.

 _Hold on until the feelin' is so strong / Until the ground that you walk on / Is where you stand / This dream, it heals and it haunts me / It's tempted and taught me who I am_

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was waiting in her room for the nurse with the wheelchair. She was holding Maddie, cooing at her daughter. Tandy was sitting on the arm of the chair, waiting with her. She reached over and ran her hand over Rayna's shoulder. "I wish I could go back to Natchez with you, at least for a little while," she said wistfully.

Rayna looked up at her. "I do too," she said. "I don't know what to expect." She bit her lip.

Tandy smiled encouragingly. "I think it'll be fine. At least you have a place to live and people who can help take care of things. I know it's sort of weird to be going home with Daddy, but I'm glad you'll be taken care of." She reached down and grabbed one of Maddie's little hands. "And that my niece will have a nice place to live." She rubbed her thumb over Maddie's hand, as the baby latched onto her finger. "She's so precious, Rayna," she said wistfully.

Rayna smiled. "She's gonna love her Aunt Tandy," she said. "I promise."

Just then the nurse appeared with the wheelchair. "Ms. Wyatt? Are you ready?"

Rayna nodded. "I am." Tandy stood up and put her hand under Rayna's elbow to help her as she stood. Rayna walked over to the wheelchair and sat down gingerly, holding fast to her daughter. Tandy picked up Rayna's things and then the nurse walked them out to the elevator.

* * *

Rayna was sitting in the backseat of the Cadillac, with Maddie buckled into her car seat next to her. Lamar sat up front with Samuel. It was quiet in the car, with the exception of Maddie's occasional little baby noises. Rayna would smile at the baby and rub her cheek. She noticed Lamar had said nothing on the drive, kept his eyes focused on the road ahead. She swallowed hard over the lump in her throat. She had no idea what to expect when they finally got back to Natchez.

Maddie eventually fell asleep and Rayna turned to look out her window, the landscape rolling past her unseeing eyes. She thought about Deacon, wondering where he was, what he was doing. This was something they should have been doing together, bringing home their daughter. But then she wondered what his reaction to this would have been. Would he have been happy about having a baby? They had, of course, never talked about it, never gotten any further than the promise ring. She raised her hand and touched the ring, on a chain, hidden beneath her blouse. She felt the pressure against her eyes, in her chest, as the tears threatened. She missed him so much.

When they finally arrived at the house, Lamar got out of the car and went inside, leaving Rayna behind. Samuel helped her get the car seat out of the car and she slowly headed up the steps. When she walked into the foyer, Lamar was standing by his office door. He looked at her warily, then said, "Dinner's still at seven. I'll see you then." He went into his office and shut the door.

She felt tears in her eyes but blinked rapidly to fend them off. She looked down at Maddie and was grateful the baby was still asleep. She headed for her old room and was surprised when she walked in. There was a beautiful white crib, with white eyelet bedding trimmed in pink and a little moon and stars mobile hanging over it, at the end of her bed. On one wall was a changing table and a little white chest. A white rocker was in the corner, with a pink and white blanket and a stuffed pink pony.

She wanted to cry again, seeing how her father had prepared the room for her. She set down the car seat and unbuckled Maddie, lifting her carefully out. She was still standing in the middle of the room, when she was startled by a voice behind her. "You must be Miss Rayna," came the voice that sounded like liquid caramel.

She turned to see a middle aged African-American woman bustling into the room, a stack of small towels in her hands. Her face was kind and open and she had a huge smile on her face. Rayna nodded. "Yes, ma'am, I'm Rayna," she said.

The woman came over closer and peered at Maddie, who was just opening her eyes. "And this must be Miss Madeleine Virginia," the woman said softly. Rayna nodded as the woman smiled at her again. "I'm Belle. Your daddy hired me to help you with your baby."

Rayna widened her eyes. "He did?" she asked, unconsciously holding Maddie a little closer.

Belle patted her arm and then went to put the little towels on the changing table. "Just for a couple months, until you're feeling all settled with her." She turned back to Rayna. "We put her things in here for now, but you'll want to move her into her own room in a few months, I think. Everything you need is here – clothes, blankets, towels and wipes, diapers. Are you breastfeeding her?" Rayna nodded mutely. Belle nodded, as though she were satisfied. "Good." She looked closely at Rayna. "Do you need to feed her now?"

Maddie was starting to fuss and Rayna looked down at her. She looked back at Belle and nodded. "Yes, I think so," she said.

Belle went over to the rocking chair and picked up the blanket and the pony. "Sit right here, honey, and I'll put this blanket over your legs." Rayna did as she was told, grateful for the unbelievably soft pillow on the chair. She arranged Maddie on her lap and then looked at Belle. Belle shook her head and laughed. "I've seen it a million times, baby, but I'll get out of your way." She arranged the blanket over Rayna's legs and then headed for the door. Rayna had just started to unbutton her blouse, when Belle turned around. "Your daddy thought you might like some help, since your mama's gone. It's the kind of thing mamas usually help with."

Rayna felt pressure in her chest and tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she said softly.

Belle smiled. "No worries, Miss Rayna. I think you need to take care of that fussy baby. I'll be back later." She backed out of the room and closed the door.

Rayna looked down at Maddie, who was indeed fussing, an angry look on her tiny face. Rayna hurriedly finished unbuttoning her blouse and opened up her bra and then let Maddie latch on to her breast. As she felt her daughter's gentle tugging, Rayna started to relax. She leaned back in the chair and then looked down at Maddie, her heart bursting, not only with love but with anguish that she was doing this alone. She couldn't help but wonder what her life – and Maddie's – would be like.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: I greatly appreciate the reviews! It's encouraging to see what readers like and what excites them. I love to hear your thoughts!**_

* * *

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon finished up the chords he'd been working on and then went to put his guitar back in the case. He paused before closing it as he looked down at the picture of himself and Rayna he had taped to the inside. It had been one night after a set and Rayna had seen the photo booth.

" _Let's take our picture!" she'd squealed, pulling at his hand._

 _He had made a face. "Really? You know those ain't great pictures, Ray." He had tried to resist, but not really hard, letting her pull him to the booth._

 _She stepped in, tugging at him. "Come on," she'd said, laughing. She had looked so pretty right then, her eyes sparkling, her face a little flushed with excitement, that amazing smile. She was always impossible to resist._

 _He had laughed too. "Okay," he said, letting her pull him in. Those photo booths were always small and she'd ended up sitting on his lap. She had pressed her face against his and he had pushed the start button._

 _The booth printed out four pictures and she had snatched them up. "Oh, babe, you have your eyes closed in one, but the rest are great," she said. She showed him the photos. They certainly weren't high quality but, with the exception of the one, they weren't bad. Especially of her._

" _Baby, you look beautiful in these," he said._

And she did. She looked happy and in love. She had torn off two of the pictures to give to him and kept the other two, including the one where his eyes were closed. He had put one in his guitar case and the other one in his wallet. Every time he opened his guitar case, he'd felt a pain in his heart. She was laughing, her arm around his neck. Things had seemed so simple then, when they just enjoyed being together and didn't think about the fact that one day he'd be leaving.

He sighed heavily and closed the case. He thought about her every day, every time he wrote a song. She'd been so proud of him, so sure he would be successful. It had been a hard life, since the day they'd all left Natchez so abruptly. He had never really thought in his mind about how long it would take them to make it, but he somehow didn't think they'd still be in the same place. They were still fighting for open mics and paying gigs, making ends meet with jobs that allowed them the flexibility to rehearse and perform. He knew, somehow, that it would have been easier with her by his side.

He had told her he'd come back for her after she graduated. It was mid-June and it weighed heavily on him. But she wasn't there for him to go back to. He'd thought about going anyway, just in case, but Vince had talked him out of it. It nagged at him, though, wondering if he should've taken the chance, but he didn't want to be disappointed again and so he'd convinced himself not to go. They were going to try again that night to get into the open mic at the Bluebird, so he turned his mind to that, picking up his guitar case and heading for the door.

* * *

"Oh my God, finally!" Beverly whispered loudly. "That was awesome!" They were out in the parking lot, putting their gear in the back of Deacon's truck. "I hope someone important was in there tonight."

Deacon had to smile. Beverly had been feeling discouraged and this had pumped her up. "Never know," he said. "Ain't it funny how the place never fills up, but there's always a line to get on stage." That was true. Every time they'd tried to get an open mic spot and weren't successful, they would stay for the show, trying to learn from everyone performing. But the place never filled up, even as small as it was.

Beverly shrugged. "As long as some record company bigwig is there, who cares? You hear all the time about people getting discovered here. I think it's like some kind of magnet for those guys." She clapped her hands, then lightly punched Deacon's arm. "Baby brother, I think we did good in there. Your songs were perfect."

They had performed 'Trouble' and a new one he'd written called 'Natchez Trace'. They were both ballad-y types that played well to Beverly's soulful voice. He always felt like his best work were the songs he wrote that Beverly _wouldn't_ sing, the ones he wrote with Rayna on his mind. He was a little worried, too, because most of the other acts were more up tempo, but he had to hope they stood out. They'd gotten a good reception from the crowd, so they were all encouraged.

Vince gestured across the street. "Let's go across the road to that diner, boys and girls," he said. "I don't know about y'all, but I'm starving!"

Beverly laughed. "You're always starving, you big lunkhead." Deacon didn't think he'd seen Beverly in such high spirits in months. It was good to see. Her dark moods had come more frequently and lasted longer in recent months. It had reminded him of their mother and the ups and downs she suffered.

As they headed across the street, he put everything out of his mind except for the high of performing onstage at the Bluebird. It was the mecca for sure and now that they'd broken through, he hoped things were turning around for them. It would almost make everything he'd left behind be worth it.

* * *

Deacon was laying on his bed in the dark. He'd drank too much and now his head was spinning. The bed felt like it was moving. His mouth was dry and he kept swallowing, trying to manufacture enough saliva to get rid of the dryness, but he was having a hard time doing that. He knew he was going to feel like shit the next day and he had to be at work at five.

He rolled onto his side and then had to immediately roll back onto his back. The dizziness intensified when he rolled over and he almost puked. He was reminded of why he didn't do this. But Vince kept pouring him shots and he was desperately trying to dull the edges. The friend of the girl Vince was interested in was nice enough, pretty enough, but it had been like every other girl. She wasn't Rayna. He couldn't stop thinking about Rayna.

Deacon breathed out. These things never went well. For one thing, he was not interested in dating. He still felt loyal to Rayna, even though it had been over a year since he'd seen her, as well as the fact that she'd left Natchez. But it felt wrong. He couldn't look at another girl without comparing her to Rayna. And so far, no one had measured up to her. But he'd had nothing better to do when Vince begged him to join them. Sitting in the room, watching TV, was even less fun.

He had walked outside of the dive bar they'd been in and the girl, whose name he couldn't remember, had followed him out. She was a little bit drunk too and had sidled up to him, running her hands up and down his arms. He'd stepped back from her.

 _She frowned. "Hey, what's the deal with you?" she'd said, her words a little slurred._

 _He shook his head. "I ain't looking for nothing," he said. "I got a girlfriend. Back home." He wasn't really sure that was true, but he didn't want to be with anyone else._

 _Her eyes flashed. "What the hell?" she had cried out and then she had punched him in the arm. Hard._

 _He glared at her and then turned and walked unsteadily towards his truck. She was yelling something after him, but he blocked her out. He knew he wasn't really in good shape to drive, but he had turned up the A/C and driven slow._

He rubbed his face with his hands. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to go back to Natchez, but there was nothing there anymore. He wasn't sure anymore that he wanted to stay in Nashville. He also wasn't sure it wasn't the whiskey talking to him. Maybe he'd feel differently in the morning. Hopefully everything would make more sense in the morning.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna laid Maddie on the changing table and changed her from her onesie to a little white eyelet sundress Tandy had given her. Maddie was waving her arms and legs and gurgling happily as Rayna got her ready. "Hey, sweet baby girl," Rayna cooed at the little girl and Maddie made a little laughing sound. She'd been such a good baby. Belle had been wonderful, but it really hadn't been hard to get used to all the things it took to raise a baby. Rayna felt like she'd been born to be a mama and, while she hadn't intended to do it as such a young age, she loved taking care of her daughter. She had been grateful to her father for letting them live in his house and she had been surprised at how Lamar doted on his granddaughter. She was still wary of him and his motivations, but she tried to just accept what was on the surface. For now.

Rayna leaned down then and rubbed her nose on Maddie's chest. She smiled. "Would you like to ride in the car with mama?" she asked and Maddie squealed her affirmation, although Rayna knew Maddie had no idea what she'd just said. Rayna picked her up and carried her out to the foyer. Even though Belle had said to move Maddie to her own room, Rayna hadn't done it. She loved having Maddie close by and she often would bring her daughter in bed with her. Maddie looked more and more like Deacon every day, with her dark brown hair and her crystal blue eyes, her long fingers and that little crease between her brows when she got fussy. Rayna felt her chest hurt as she wished Deacon could see his daughter and know her.

She picked up her purse and walked out the door. Lamar had bought her a car when she'd come back to Natchez, a little green Toyota Camry. _I guess you'll need something to take little Maddie to the doctor._ That was what he'd said when he gave it to her. She wasn't sure that was really the truth. Samuel could have driven her, but she was grateful nonetheless. She liked having a little bit of freedom, although she wished she'd had it back when Deacon was still in town.

Thinking about Deacon made her teary, like it always did. She'd cried herself to sleep every night she'd been in Biloxi, chalking it up to hormones. But she still found herself crying at night and at random other times. She missed him. It was early June and she knew her class had graduated the previous week. This was when Deacon had said he'd come back for her, but she hadn't seen him. She hoped it meant that he and Beverly were performing like they wanted, but she was afraid it was because he thought she deserved better than him.

She put Maddie in her car seat and made sure she was secure. Then she got in the car and drove out to the main road. Deacon had told her once where he lived and she had scoured a map to find the route. It was a beautiful day, not too hot, and she had decided it might be a good day to ride out there and see if maybe he'd gone back there. Or maybe she could ask his parents if they knew where he was. She wasn't sure what would happen, but she felt like she had to try something. She'd written out the directions and laid them on the seat next to her. Periodically she looked down, but it wasn't hard to find. Maddie, thankfully, was entertaining herself with the stuffed pink pony, occasionally making little happy noises. Rayna glanced periodically in the rear view mirror, even though she couldn't see Maddie. She smiled, though, listening to her daughter.

She'd often thought about how she would tell Deacon about Maddie. He would be surprised, she knew. It still felt a little surreal to her to have a four month old daughter, when she'd just turned eighteen. He would be nineteen now. Would he be freaked out? Not interested? Maddie was such a good baby though. She cooed and laughed and smiled and slept through the night. Rayna loved to hold her, breathing in deeply her daughter's sweet baby smell. Her favorite time of the day was feeding Maddie, when she felt that unshakeable bond with her daughter. Even though they lived in her father's house, Rayna felt like she and Maddie were their own little family. She loved her daughter fiercely, more than anyone else except Deacon.

When she reached the dirt and gravel road that led to the Claybourne's house, it seemed very overgrown, which surprised her. She stopped the car and put it in park. She got out and then unfastened Maddie from the car seat, holding her on her hip as she started to walk down the road, glad she was wearing her boots. The farther she walked, the more uneasy she felt. She couldn't explain the feeling, other than it felt like there was some kind of disturbance in the air.

When she rounded a slight curve, she understood her unease. She gasped, her free hand flying to her mouth, and she gripped Maddie a little tighter. The house, or what was left of it, had burned to the ground. There was yellow police tape around it, although it was clear it had been a while since it had been put up. It was broken in a couple places, one of the ends fluttering in the slight breeze.

A chill ran up her back as she stood there. An ominous cloud seemed to hang over the place, as though tragedy had happened there. She knew there had been unhappiness here and anger and violence and fear. She knew somehow that had led to what she saw now. Even Maddie seemed affected, as she started to squirm and fuss, and Rayna put both arms around her daughter. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach and she abruptly turned and stumbled back to her car, holding tightly to Maddie, tears rolling down her cheeks. When she reached the car, she hurriedly fastened a now crying Maddie into her car seat, and then got in the car herself, driving quickly back to the main road.

She drove a little ways and then pulled over onto the shoulder. She breathed in and out, struggling to get herself under control. She turned in her seat and reached for Maddie, running her hand over the little girl's chest until she stopped fussing. She couldn't have said why, but she knew what she'd felt at the Claybourne house had been death. Someone had died there. In her heart, she knew it wasn't Deacon, but someone had. And her next thought was that she wondered if Lamar had known.

* * *

Maddie was agitated most of the rest of the afternoon. Nothing Rayna did seemed to soothe her and the baby finally fell into a fitful sleep. Rayna laid down on her bed, wanting to take a nap too, but her mind was racing. She wondered if Deacon knew about the house. Or would he have even cared? She thought back to that last day, before he left. His father had beaten him and Deacon was in bad shape. Maybe he wouldn't care what had happened there. And how much had her father known? Lamar Wyatt knew everything that happened in Natchez, Mississippi. It would be just like him to keep her in the dark.

She reached for one of her pillows and hugged it close. Deacon had been gone over a year. She wished she knew where he'd gone, knew how to even go about finding him. She wanted to tell him about Maddie, but she had no way to locate him. She suspected that her father would have the resources, but she knew he'd never do it. Even for Maddie. Maybe especially for Maddie. She felt her chest tighten and her eyes filled with tears. She felt so alone and lonely. She missed him so much.

She raised up on her elbow and reached over to the bedside table. She opened the drawer and reached in, her fingers landing on the picture she'd kept. They had gotten into one of those photo booths and taken their pictures. He'd kept two and she had two. In one of them, his eyes were closed, so she had thrown that one out and kept the one with his eyes open. She was in his lap, her arm wrapped around his shoulder, and he had a big grin on his face. They had looked happy. She looked at it now and thought about how it seemed so long ago when they'd done that. So long ago when they were carefree and happy. She wondered if he still had his pictures.

She wondered if he ever thought of her.

* * *

Dinner was always a formal affair, even though it was just the two of them. They ate in the dining room and were served by the cook. Tandy would be moving in at the end of the summer, to go to work for Wyatt Industries, but she was spending the summer in Georgia with her boyfriend. Lamar usually didn't talk much, spending the time reading reports or the newspaper. Rayna often ate in complete silence, anxious to be finished so she could get back to Maddie. But this night, Lamar seemed in a more companionable mood and, after the soup course, he'd pushed aside his paper and looked at Rayna.

"How was your day?" he asked, pleasantly.

She had her guard up, certain he was not just making small talk. She still hadn't decided exactly how she wanted to ask him about Deacon's house. She gave him a tiny smile. "Good," she said. "I took Maddie for a ride in the car. She loves that."

He smiled. "She does, doesn't she?" He looked at her carefully. "Where did you go?"

She felt a niggle of anxiety. "Nowhere, really," she said. She wondered what he knew. She hadn't noticed anyone following her, but then she hadn't really been paying attention. This was the moment where she could ask him, but she couldn't decide how to broach it. He would be angry she'd gone, angry she was still thinking about Deacon. She couldn't accuse him of anything. Lamar Wyatt wouldn't go around setting fires. He'd be angry if she asked him about it.

"Rayna?" She refocused on him and noticed he had a concerned look on his face. "Did you hear me?"

She realized she had not been paying attention. "I'm sorry, Daddy, what?"

"I was just saying that I ran into the pastor today while I was having lunch at the Magnolia. He mentioned that they're looking for some new choir members." He smiled. "I've heard you sing to Maddie and I think you'd enjoy that."

She breathed in. That had seemed to come out of left field. "Yeah, you're probably right. I should check that out." Just then, the cook brought out the main course and the moment seemed to be lost. As her father turned to his dinner, he went back to reading the paperwork next to his plate and she decided to drop it.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Later, Deacon would look back on that night and say it had changed his life. But in the moment, it was just an interesting turn of events. Beverly, Doug and Vince were all working and he had no interest in hanging out in a motel room. He'd picked up his guitar and headed out in his truck. It was a Monday night and he took a chance as he drove to the Bluebird. Even if he didn't get on stage, he figured he could watch those who did. But it was a rainy night and a lot of people didn't show and he got on. He'd never considered performing alone, but he wanted to hear his songs out loud and see what kind of reaction they'd get, so he'd gotten past his butterflies and headed up on stage.

The first song he did was the one about fireflies and rusty guitars and going back home, the one he called 'Back Home'. He'd written it about Rayna, for Rayna. It was an emotional song for him, as he thought about her. In his mind, he could still see her smiling at him, her reddish-blonde hair skimming her shoulders, her nose wrinkled up with glee, and her dark blue eyes sparkling. He could still feel her velvety soft skin touching his, taste her lips and her tongue, feel her breath against his cheek.

He almost choked up once or twice, but he got through it, and got enthusiastic applause from the small crowd. The place was tiny – only ninety people or so could get in, he was told – but it was maybe a little more than half full on a rainy night. The same dreariness that had chased away the dreamers had chased away the audience too, it seemed. But he actually felt more at ease with a smaller crowd.

It had felt odd, at first, to play without Beverly and Vince. Before he'd gotten on stage, he'd felt a little bad about doing it without them, but it sure beat sitting in a dingy motel room, watching boring TV. For his second song, he performed one he hadn't done before. He'd just finished it. It was one of those that he hadn't personally lived, but he'd seen others live through. He'd watched what alcohol had done to his parents, knew it had likely contributed to their deaths in the fire. He watched Vince start down a similar path, drinking too much, not knowing how to quit.

The time or two he'd let himself really get drunk had scared him. He knew he liked the taste of whiskey, more than he'd expected to, and figured it had been in his blood. But he kept hearing Jed's taunt in his head – _boy, you're gonna be just like me_ – and that would draw him up short. He was determined to never let that be his fate, never let that be Jed's legacy. But it was thoughts of how drinking could ruin a life, how it never really made the hurt go away, that had driven this song.

The few times he'd let himself go down that path were always after he'd been thinking about Rayna, about how much he missed her. He often wondered what had ever become of her, where she'd gone after she'd left Natchez, what her life was like now. He wondered if she'd gone off to college, like her sister, if she was dating a rich boy, someone more like her. He hoped she was happy, that she was doing something she loved, that she didn't spend too many nights thinking about him. But he hoped when she did, that she remembered the good times and not how it had ended.

He leaned into the microphone then. "This one is called 'Killin' Time'," he said. "Hope you like it."

 _You were the first thing that I thought of / When I thought I drank you off my mind / When I get lost in the liquor / You're the only one I find / And if I did the things I oughta / You still would not be mine / So I'll keep a tight grip on the bottle / Gettin' loose and killin' time_

 _This killin' time is killin' me / Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see / That if I cross that line and they bury me / I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity_

 _I don't know nothin' 'bout tomorrow / I've been lost in yesterday / I've spent all my life just dying / For a love that passed away / And if there's an end to all my sorrow / And this is the only price I'll pay / I'll be a happy man when I go / And I can't wait another day_

 _This killin' time is killin' me / Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see / That if I cross that line and they bury me / I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity_

The applause was again enthusiastic and he smiled. "Thank you," he said. He stood at the microphone for just a moment, drinking it in. Somehow this had felt much more satisfying than the time he and Beverly had stood here. Maybe it was because it was just him, that he was putting himself out there in a way he hadn't before, but it felt good. He noticed the next person anxiously waiting to take his turn and he smiled a little sheepishly and turned to head off the stage. He put his guitar in its case and walked through the room to the bar. He ordered a ginger ale and then stood at the bar listening to the person who'd followed him on stage.

"That was quite a performance," came a quiet male voice from behind him. The rule at the Bluebird was no talking during performances, and he was so quiet, Deacon almost wasn't sure he'd heard it. He turned slightly to see a man standing next to him. Deacon guessed he was maybe in his forties, wearing a suit rather than the jeans and boots most other patrons were wearing. But his tie was pulled down, as though he'd come from work, and he had a warm smile on his face.

"Thanks," he said, finally.

"I can't stay, but I'd really like to talk to you," the man said, sliding a card along the bar towards Deacon. "Call me when you have a minute."

Deacon just nodded and watched as the man walked past him and out the door into the rain. He finally picked up the car and peered at it. _Watty White, A &R. Warner Nashville._ His phone number was on the card. He swallowed hard. This could be huge.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Lamar walked up to the hostess stand at the country club dining room. "Hello there, Matilda," he said to the young woman, with a smile, turning on the charm.

Matilda smiled at him. "Good evening, Mr. Wyatt," she said. "How are you?"

"Doing great." He turned towards Tandy and Rayna. "I'm here for dinner with my lovely daughters." Rayna had to force herself not to roll her eyes. She would much rather have stayed home and played with Maddie than dress up to come to the country club. Maddie would be a year old in two weeks and she had started walking already. She hated missing these moments with her daughter, especially to come to the country club.

"I've got a great table for y'all," Matilda said. She pulled out three menus. "Follow me." Lamar did a half bow and swept his arm out for Tandy and Rayna, who followed Matilda. Lamar brought up the rear.

They were seated at a round table and Rayna, by design, was seated across from her father with her back to the rest of the dining room. Lamar liked to be seen and his seat gave him a good view of the other club members who were there for the evening. They opened their menus and looked over the evening's selections.

Rayna held her menu high enough that she couldn't see her father. She hated the country club, felt completely out of place there. She would rather have been in a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, having dinner with Maddie, than having to dress up on a weeknight. When the waitress came to take their order, she asked for the flounder and iced tea and then handed back the menu.

She had just put the napkin in her lap when her father called out, "Teddy Conrad!" She looked up and over at her sister. Tandy was smiling over Rayna's shoulder.

A very handsome young man, who looked to be only a few years older than Tandy, was reaching for Lamar's hand, as Lamar stood up and took it. Lamar was grinning broadly. "Hello, Mr. Wyatt," the young man said. "Good to see you." He glanced over at Tandy. "Tandy." Tandy nodded, a tiny smile on her face.

Lamar remained standing, but gestured to Rayna. "Teddy, this is my other daughter, Rayna." He smiled at Rayna. "Rayna, Teddy works at my office as a junior executive."

Rayna breathed out and then turned to Teddy, who was smiling at her expectantly. She smiled back. "Hello, Teddy," she said, holding out her hand. "It's nice to meet you." Teddy took her hand briefly.

"You too, Rayna. I've heard your father talk a lot about you."

Rayna looked at Lamar. "Really," she said.

"Teddy, why don't you join us?" Lamar said then.

"Are you sure I'm not intruding?" Teddy asked. Rayna thought he was either very polite or he was just trying to suck up to the boss. Maybe both.

Lamar waved his hand and sat back down in his chair. "Not at all. It's just dinner with my girls."

Rayna gave Tandy with a sharp look but Tandy just smiled and nodded.

* * *

Rayna was furious, when they returned to the house. She'd hardly been able to eat, with Teddy sitting right there, and it being so obvious what her father was up to. The table conversation had been pleasant enough, but she'd been so angry, she'd hardly said a word, something her father had taken great pains to lambaste her over on the way home. Then Lamar stood in the driveway, after Samuel had driven off. "She needs a daddy, Rayna," he said, his face dark with anger.

"She has one," she spat back at him.

Lamar glared at her. "He just sowed a seed where he had no business being," he said, his tone ice cold. "She needs a daddy she can count on. Not one who would run out on her."

"That's ridiculous, Daddy. Deacon didn't run out on Maddie."

Lamar raised his eyebrows. "That's right. He ran out on _you_ ," he said, pointing his finger at her. "And little Maddie suffers because of it."

She gasped, then rushed up the front steps and ran down the hall to her room. She stood over Maddie's crib, looking down at her sleeping daughter, breathing in and out heavily. Tears filled her eyes, but they were tears of anger. She had known better than to believe Lamar was feeling fatherly when he allowed her to come home. He'd told her as much, right at the beginning, but she had thought she'd seen a softening in him. But she'd been wrong. She heard footsteps behind her.

Tandy ran her hand over Rayna's back. "I thought I'd find you here," she said softly, as she leaned on the crib rail next to Rayna.

Rayna gave her sister a look. "That was totally planned, wasn't it?" she said, more a statement than a question.

Tandy played innocent though. "I don't know what you mean," she said.

Rayna rolled her eyes. "Give me a break, Tandy," she said. "Daddy was trying to act like a matchmaker." She made a noise. "Is he that worried that I will end up alone? He has to try to fix me up with his junior executives?"

Tandy pretended to look shocked. "Is that what you think he was doing?" she asked.

"Please. He wasn't trying to interest Teddy in _you_. I mean, all that nonsense about 'Rayna is trying to find herself', 'taking some time to figure out her options'. I mean, really. Am I supposed to pretend I'm not a mama? I'm eighteen years old and I have a one year old. I'm not trying to 'find myself'. I'm Maddie's mama and I'm…." Her voice trailed off.

Tandy looked at her. "You're _not_ Deacon's girlfriend." She looked sympathetically at her sister. "It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you went out with Teddy. He's a really nice man and he would probably treat you like a princess." She held up her hand, as Rayna started to interrupt. "Daddy's just trying to think about your future. Maybe he's being heavy-handed about it, but you said it. You're almost nineteen and a single mom. Sweetie, you can't wait for Deacon the rest of your life."

Rayna didn't try to stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks. "I don't want to date anyone else, Tandy," she said. "Maybe he's not coming back, but I'm not ready to believe that yet."

Tandy bit her lip, then spoke softly and with compassion. "Then where is he, sweetheart? And when will you stop waiting?"

Rayna lowered her head. "I don't know," she whispered.

* * *

 _ **The song "Killin' Time" is by Clint Black.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**~Deacon~**_

Business was slow at the Hermitage Diner, more so than usual. Deacon took a plate of hash browns and bacon off to the side and started picking at them. He hadn't said anything to anyone about meeting Watty. It had been nearly a week and the business card was still in his wallet, but he hadn't picked up the phone to call. He wasn't sure what was holding him back. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened it up and pulled out the card, looking at it yet again.

"Hey there, sugar," he heard Shelby say. He looked up and noticed her walking towards him, so he put the business card back in his wallet and shoved it back in his pocket.

He grinned at her. "Hey, Shelby."

She stopped and frowned. "You seem kind of lost in space today, sugar," she said. "What's going on?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." He took a deep breath and looked away. "Nothing."

"That doesn't seem like nothing to me," she said.

He sighed and then looked back at her. "I did a open mic at the Bluebird Monday," he started.

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, that's good, right? That's two in about a month or so, right?"

He shook his head. "Nah, it was just me this time. Everybody else was working and I just went down there and there was an opening."

"Okay. So what happened?"

He hesitated for just a second and then reached back into his pocket for his wallet and pulled out the business card, handing it to Shelby. "This," he said.

She looked at it and then at him, her eyes wide. "Oh, Deacon, this is big. He came up to you?" Deacon nodded. "And said what?"

"That he wanted to talk to me."

"And you what, haven't called him yet?" Deacon shook his head. "Oh, sugar, you need to call him. Watty White's a big deal in this town. He started off as a singer-songwriter and then moved into producing. And then A&R. And Warner's the big label in town." She gave him back the card. "Call him, sugar. Today." He just looked at her. "I mean it, sugar," she said, wagging a finger at him. Then she turned and walked back out into the restaurant.

* * *

Watty was already waiting for him at the Mexican restaurant near Music Row and Deacon slid into the booth seat across from him. Watty smiled. "I'm glad you called me, Deacon," he said.

Deacon shrugged. "Yeah. I'm sorry I waited."

Watty shook his head. "No problem." A waitress came by and they ordered. Watty put his hands on the table, palms down. "I was very impressed with your music," he said.

"Well, that was just me. I normally sing with my sister. We're a duo."

Watty nodded. "I heard you when the two of you played together. It was a nice surprise to see you back. I'm really interested in _you_ , Deacon."

Deacon frowned slightly. "Shouldn't Beverly be here? My sister?"

Watty breathed in. "I'm just interested in you."

"But I ain't a single act, Mr. White. Bev and I do this together."

"I understand. But, let me be frank with you. The duo thing isn't working. But you, your songs, _that_ works."

"I ain't doing this on my own." He started to slide out of the booth, but Watty put a hand out to stop him.

"Just listen to me." Deacon hesitated a moment, then decided it didn't hurt to listen first. "I've been around a while and I've seen a lot of talent in my time. I've also seen a lot more who want to be talented and aren't." Deacon frowned. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to like what Watty White said. "You have a real talent for songwriting, Deacon. I could tell that with the songs you did, which I assume you wrote." Deacon nodded. "The ones you did alone are much more nuanced, tell better stories. I can hear something in them, some pain, some longing. Am I right?"

Deacon swallowed. The songs he'd done on his own were the ones closest to his heart, that was for sure. "Yes, sir," he said quietly.

"You and your sister are okay, but the two of you are never going to go beyond the bar scene."

Deacon bristled. "How can you say that? You only heard two songs."

Watty shrugged. " _You're_ not the problem, Deacon. _She_ is." He let that sit for a moment. "I could get you a songwriting deal easily. I think you could do side work and session work all over town. You're a very talented guitar player. The two of you together don't have strong voices, so you don't work as anything more than a bar act. There's no hook. She doesn't have what it takes to carry you as a duo, which you're trying to let her do. You would do better going off on your own."

Deacon shook his head. "I'm sorry, I ain't bailing on my sister. I ain't here to go on my own." As the waitress brought over their food, he slid out of the booth. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"Keep my card, Deacon," Watty said. "Call me again when you're ready."

Deacon stalked out of the restaurant, fuming. That wasn't at all what he'd been expecting.

* * *

Deacon sat on the bed in his room. He had his guitar across his lap and his notebook over to his side, with a pencil behind his ear. He leaned back against the wall, feeling exhausted. Life in Nashville hadn't been much better than life in Memphis. He and Beverly were playing sets fairly regularly and they were working four or five out of seven days, long hours to make ends meet. They were renting a rundown house that reminded him of the place they'd grown up in. They'd been in Nashville for over a year and seemed no closer to reaching their dream than they had been when they drove out of Natchez.

Without warning, he felt tears well up in his eyes and he swallowed over a huge lump in his throat. He'd tested the waters very tentatively with Beverly, after his conversation with Watty, but she couldn't let go of the dream and he hadn't had the heart to let her down. He still hadn't told anyone he'd met with Watty. He'd thought that as time went on he'd get over Rayna, but that hadn't happened either. Too many nights he went to sleep remembering the heartbroken look on her face when he left her at the end of her driveway and drove out of town. Too many nights he dreamed of her, waking up in tears.

He glanced over at his notebook. One of the things he had done while they'd been gone was to write. He'd finally been able to finish songs, but most of them were, admittedly, about Rayna, and Beverly had refused to perform them. It had felt good, singing them at the Bluebird Café. He couldn't deny it, but he hadn't planned to step out on his own. For now, they were for him.

He took a deep breath and set the guitar aside, picking up the notebook and balancing it on his knee. He reached for the pencil and started to write. _I woke up in Nashville / But it still felt like a dream / Like the one I've been chasing / Since the day I first played my old six string._ He reached up and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands and leaned back against the wall again. He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face. He didn't know how much longer he could do this. He breathed in and then he focused back on the notebook, tapping it with the pencil. After a moment, he started writing again. _I loaded up the hand-me-down car / Went for broke, broke your heart / Didn't wanna but, girl, I thought I had to / But dreaming's just sleeping here without you_

He got up from the bed and paced. His chest felt like there was a vise around it and he felt like he was fighting for air. He and Beverly had been picking at each other. Vince was running around with various girls, getting drunk night after night. Deacon was worried that his friend was falling into the trap of whiskey, much like his father had. Nothing felt good.

He sat back down and picked up his notebook. _I woke up in Nashville / Cause those Broadway lights don't shine / The way that your eyes did / When they were staring back / Right back in mine_

 _Been trying to live / With only half of my heart / Just sleep walking in the Tennessee dark / If I can't make every memory with you / Then dreaming's just sleeping here without you_

He couldn't come up with a chorus, or maybe it was that he was afraid to. The words that kept swirling around in his head were _I was so wrong for thinking you / Were something I could ever do without / Thought everything I wanted was in this town / But you were all that I needed all along_

He wanted to go home. He wanted Rayna.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Choir practice was over and Rayna headed for the coat room to collect her wrap and her purse. "Miss Wyatt!" She turned when she heard her name called. An older man was waving at her and she waited as he hurried over to her. He reached for her hand and she let him take it. He held it gently, patting the back of her hand with his other one. "Miss Wyatt, I'm Ben Reid, Missy's husband."

She nodded and smiled. Missy Reid was one of the longtime choir members and Rayna liked her a lot. "Hey, Ben," she said. "Please call me Rayna, though." She was curious why he was approaching her.

"Well, Miss…I mean, Rayna, I heard you practicing your solo tonight and I've heard you solo in church before and, well, you have an exceptional voice."

She was still puzzled, although flattered at the compliment. "Thank you. I enjoy doing them." That wasn't completely the truth. She always felt very nervous and anxious when she was asked to perform solo. She had discovered that she loved to sing, but doing it in front of a crowd, even a church crowd, was nerve-wracking.

He patted her hand again and then dropped it, as though realizing he'd held it too long. "Well, the reason I mention it is that I own a place in town called the Landslide."

She nodded. "I've heard of it." She'd actually been in it, when she'd gone to see Deacon and Beverly perform there.

"Anyway, I wondered if you'd like to come sing one night. Maybe it would work into a regular thing."

She stared at him for a moment and then she laughed. "Sing church songs in a bar?" she said.

He shook his head and laughed as well. "Oh, no, of course not, but I figured, someone as good as you, you probably sing other kinds of music."

She smiled. "Well, I sing lullabies to my daughter, but that probably wouldn't work either." She took a deep breath. She wasn't at all sure it was something she _could_ do, much less wanted to do. "Can I think about it? And let you know?"

He nodded. "Of course. But I think you'd be great. The regulars would love someone with your voice." He laughed again then. "I guess I should ask you what kind of music you like. We're pretty all over the place, but…."

"Country music," she said, with a smile. "I like country music. That's my favorite."

He smiled back. "Come sing country music at my place, Miss Rayna Wyatt. We'd love to have you." And then he turned and went to find his wife, leaving her to stare after him and wonder if, just maybe, this would be something she'd like to try.

* * *

Lamar and Tandy were sitting in the den when Rayna got home from choir practice. Lamar was nursing a tumbler of whiskey and Tandy was sipping on a glass of wine. "Hey, y'all," Rayna said, as she walked up to the door. "How was Maddie?"

Lamar smiled. "It only took two stories and she fell right asleep," he said.

Tandy patted the seat beside her. "Come on in and sit with us," she said.

Rayna wasn't sure she really wanted to, but she did anyway. She sat stiffly on the couch, her hands on her knees. "So, I got an offer to sing tonight," she said, looking back and forth between her father and her sister.

Tandy raised her eyebrows. "Really? Where?"

Rayna swallowed. "Um, the Landslide," she said.

Lamar frowned. "That's just a bar," he said, his voice flat. "Why would you want to do that?"

Rayna turned towards Lamar and made a face. "I'm not saying I do. Yet. But the husband of one of the choir members owns it and asked me if I'd be interested." She frowned at her father. "And it's more than just a bar, Daddy. It's nicer than you make it sound."

Lamar raised his eyebrows. "When have you been it, young lady?" he asked.

"Well, that sounds…interesting," Tandy said and Rayna turned to look at her. "What kind of singing would it be?"

"I would stand on stage and sing songs I want to sing," Rayna said, feeling a little ganged up on. "It's not like it's a strip club or something."

Tandy put her hand on Rayna's arm. "Oh, I know, sweetie. I was just wondering."

Rayna rolled her eyes. "Right."

Lamar cleared his throat then. "You'd rather stand up on a stage in front of a bunch of drunks than do something more dignified? Like taking young Mr. Conrad up on his offer to take you out. That could turn into a nice relationship for you, Rayna."

Rayna glared at her father. "I told you, Daddy, I'm not interested in dating _anyone_ , not even your young Mr. Conrad."

Lamar sat back in his chair, holding out his glass as he pointed at Rayna. "I certainly hope you're not waiting for that boy from the wrong side of town to show back up, Rayna," he said.

Rayna clenched her fists. "He's Maddie's _father_ , Daddy. Of course I'm hoping he comes back."

Lamar shook his head. "He's just the one who got you in the family way, Rayna. He's not Maddie's father. That implies he's involved and, as we know, he left town and left you behind."

"Daddy, please," Tandy said.

Rayna stood up. "It's okay, Tandy." She looked over at her father. "I'm not going to stay here and listen to this. I'm going to see about Maddie." She started to walk off, but then turned around. "Oh, and I am going to sing at the Landslide." Then she turned and walked out of the den, glad her father and sister couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

The early morning breakfast rush was over and there would be a lull before the early lunch crowd arrived. Deacon took the last of the dishes from his station and carried them over to the kitchen. As he walked back out, he noticed Shelby was sitting in the booth by the kitchen door, with a cup of coffee. She waved him over.

"Have a seat, sugar," she said, gesturing to the spot across from her. He hesitated. "You got a minute or two. Come on." He slid into the booth. "Did you ever call Mr. Watty White?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"And?"

He shook his head. "He ain't interested in Bev and me," he said.

She raised her eyebrows. "But he's interested in you," she said, more a statement than a question.

He breathed in. "Yeah, but it ain't what we're looking for. So no point in messing with it."

"What did he offer?"

He shrugged. "He thought I could do session work. And maybe a deal to write songs."

Shelby's eyes widened. "A songwriting deal? Deacon, that's huge in this town. Why would you not be interested?"

He frowned. "I need to spend time writing songs Bev wants to sing. Not the ones he heard me do."

She looked puzzled. "I don't understand."

He dropped his shoulders a bit. "Those were songs for Rayna," he said quietly. "Bev won't do 'em."

She put her hand on the table and touched his hand briefly. "I'm sorry, sugar. She was your sweetie from home?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but I left her to go to Memphis. And then she left too. So it's all over now."

"She must have been special, if you write songs about her."

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, yeah, she is. She was the best thing in my life and now I lost her." He bit his lip. "She used to come watch us play. She wanted me to have my dream. But it cost me her."

Shelby looked sad. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"

"Two years, I guess."

Shelby was silent for a moment. "I think you should keep writing. You never know what might happen. I don't think you should give up on that. It sounds like those are the songs you should be writing, if Watty liked 'em."

Deacon shook his head. "There ain't no point."

"You sure? Sugar, a publishing deal could lead to more. Do you want to play in bars and honky tonks forever?"

Deacon frowned. "He might be wrong about that."

Shelby made a face. "I'm pretty sure he's not. I know you don't wanna hear that, but he's got a really good ear for good music. And good artists." She smiled. "He turned me down too." Deacon looked surprised. "And he was right. But you shouldn't give up, sugar. Sounds like you got something he's looking for." She smiled encouragingly. "You should call him back." She slid out of the booth then. "And we need to get ready for the lunch crowd."

She stood up and headed for the kitchen. He sat for a few more minutes, thinking about what she'd said. He wished Rayna was here. He wished he could talk to her about this. He trusted her more than anyone and he knew she'd help him decide the right thing to do. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. _I need you, baby. I need you so bad._ Then he breathed out and opened his eyes, sliding out of the booth and heading for the kitchen.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna walked out of her bedroom and then stopped in Maddie's room, checking to see if the little girl was asleep. Satisfied that she was, she closed the door softly. She had finally decided Maddie needed her own room and so she had moved them both upstairs. Tandy was temporarily living at home – she said – and she had taken over Rayna's old room. She walked down the stairs and into the den, where Tandy and Lamar were sitting. She set a baby monitor on the table next to her sister. "So you can hear your niece," she said, when Tandy raised her eyebrows.

Lamar frowned. "I still don't understand why you feel the need to do this, Rayna. You're a Wyatt. You don't need the money."

Rayna rolled her eyes. "This isn't about the money, Daddy. I'm going to be doing something I love to do. It's one night. And maybe I never do it again. But I think it will be fun and God knows I haven't done anything fun in a while." She wasn't really at all sure it would be fun. She'd felt queasy all day just thinking about standing up in front of a crowd and singing.

He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You could have had fun going out on dates with Teddy Conrad," he said.

"Daddy, stop," Tandy said.

Rayna rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested in one of your hired hands, Daddy," she said. "This is something I _do_ want to do."

He shook his head. "This is beneath you, Rayna," he said.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Well, seems like I've been doing things that are beneath me my whole life, Daddy. Why would I stop now? Look, it's an hour set, and then I'll be home. Maddie's asleep, and she'll probably stay that way. I'll see you both later." She turned on her heel and stalked out into the foyer towards the front door.

"Rayna!" Tandy called after her. She stopped and turned to face her sister, who had followed her into the foyer. Tandy smiled apologetically. "Good luck tonight," she said.

Rayna relaxed a little and forced a smile on her face. "Thanks," she said.

"I think you'll do great," Tandy said. "I heard you practicing and you're amazing."

Rayna blushed. "I don't know about that, but thanks for the good words. Now, I really need to get going." She turned back for the door, then stopped, looking back at her sister. "Thanks for the encouragement. Really." And then she walked out the door.

* * *

She had huge butterflies as she drove over to the Landslide. She was stepping way out of her comfort zone. She'd been singing in the church choir for almost nine months. It had been hard at first, but the other choir members had been welcoming and encouraging. When she'd done her first solo, she wanted to throw up, right there on the altar, but she had pushed through it. She still got nervous, but it was more from the residual feelings of judgement by the congregation than any issues she had with actually performing.

But this was different. Even though she'd given Ben a yes right away, she'd waited two weeks before committing to a date, and then she'd second guessed herself a million times. She'd put together a set list and sent it over so that the house guitarist could practice. She had sung in her room, in front of the mirror and Maddie, trying to overcome her jitters. Maddie would clap her little hands together enthusiastically and squeal her encouragement, but Maddie was a fifteen-month old and hardly a judge of talent.

She thought about all the times she'd sat in the audience, listening to Deacon and Beverly. They were so good, so practiced, but she guessed they had been nervous too the first time they got on a stage like that. She considered the irony of this, that now _she_ was putting herself out there on a stage, the same way Deacon had. This had never been _her_ dream though, although now that she was singing, she had come to realize how much she loved it. She looked forward to every Sunday with the choir and, in spite of her nerves, she realized she was looking forward to this night as well.

* * *

Driving home, Rayna felt like she was on a huge adrenaline rush. Her set list had been ten songs, but she could have gone on for ten more. She'd been singing music she loved and the crowd had loved her. At the end of the set, Ben had asked her to come back and she'd said yes. She finally understood what a big deal it was for Deacon when he and Beverly were on stage. The only thing that was missing was that she didn't have him to share it with.

When she got home, Lamar had gone to bed but Tandy was still in the den. She looked up when Rayna came in, a smile on her face and a question in her eyes. "How was it?" she asked.

Rayna sat down next to her on the couch. "Oh, Tandy, it was amazing!" she said, grinning happily. "I felt like, oh, I don't know. It felt like I was doing what I was meant to do, you know?"

Tandy looked surprised. "Really?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I never knew I wanted to do this. I used to go watch Deacon and his sister and I thought I'd never in a million years be brave enough to get up onstage and do that. It was scary and exciting and I really just want to keep doing it." She reached for her sister's hands. "I think I could really be good at this."

"Do you think you want to be a professional singer?" Tandy asked.

Rayna shrugged. "Probably not. I mean, I've got Maddie to take care of. I think doing this here is good enough. And I don't write songs. I think you have to write songs."

Tandy smiled. "You write poetry. Isn't that the same thing?"

Rayna made a face. "I don't know. I don't think so. I don't write _music_ , you know? Just words." She glanced over at the baby monitor. "How did Maddie do?"

"She woke up once and Daddy went upstairs and read to her." She squeezed Rayna's hands. "I know you're not real happy with him right now, but he really does love your little girl. That's something, isn't it?"

Rayna took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess it's something. I just wish he'd stop trying to run my life."

"He just wants the best for you, sweetheart."

Rayna frowned and then got up. "Well, he has a really weird way of showing it. Look, as wired up as I am, I'm also beat. I'm gonna go up and check on Maddie and go to bed." She reached for the baby monitor as she headed for the door.

"Night, sweetie," Tandy called after her, as she walked out of the room and up the stairs.

She stopped first in Maddie's room, going in to check on her daughter. The little starfish nightlight left a soft, warm glow and Rayna leaned over the crib to watch her sleeping daughter. She reached down and pulled the blanket up a little higher on her back. She smiled as she thought about how Maddie still was a mostly easy child. Tandy was right, Lamar doted on his granddaughter and Maddie had him wrapped around her little finger. But she also had her stubborn side and, when she did, Rayna could see Deacon's personality and even the look on his face, with her little frown.

She breathed in and reached out again to run her fingers lightly over Maddie's hair. Maddie twitched just a little, but didn't wake up. It made Rayna sad that Deacon didn't know he had a daughter, hadn't been able to watch her grow up. She felt a twinge in her heart, wondering if their paths would ever cross again. Sometimes she was sure that true love would always find its way back together, but as the days and weeks and months went by, she felt less and less certain.

She sighed and then she walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her, heading for her own room. She undressed and got into her nightgown. She washed her face and brushed her teeth, then sat on her bed and put lotion on. When she got under the covers, she turned out the light and then rolled onto her side. She thought about how she'd felt that night, standing on the stage. It had felt magical, like nothing she'd ever felt before. But it was missing something.

She sighed and turned over onto her other side, staring out the window. Deacon was who was missing. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and there was a lump in her throat as she thought, as she did every night, how very much she still missed him. She could see the moon through the gauzy drapes and wondered if he were looking at the moon too. _I know you're out there somewhere. Please come home to me._


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: I hope y'all were as excited as I was with the sneak peek. I can't wait for the rest of the season and all the stories it will inspire here! Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

When he walked into the house after work, Deacon saw Beverly sitting at the little kitchen table. She had her head bent over what looked like a notebook. His eyes skittered around and he saw his messenger bag hanging over the chair and he knew instantly what she was looking at. He stormed over and picked up the notebook. "What the hell, Bev?" he said, frowning at her.

She looked up at him and shrugged. "You're supposed to be writing songs for _me_ to sing. I have the right to see what you're working on," she said.

"It's songs for _us_ to sing, Bev," he said, angrily. "And I'll show you what I want _us_ to sing. You got no right to go through my stuff."

She narrowed her eyes. "Well, that certainly isn't for _us_ to sing, now is it, baby brother?" She gestured towards the notebook. "Those are your moony love songs for Rayna. Not that she deserves them."

He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her up out of the chair. "Ain't none of your business what I write, Beverly," he said, breathing into her face.

She made an angry face and pulled out of his grasp. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she said, her voice low and steely. She glared at him. "I don't know why you keep writing for her anyway. I mean, she left Natchez, right? Probably because she knew she was too good for you. Didn't want to be there when you came back."

"Shut up, Bev!" he shouted. "You don't know nothing!"

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, but I do know that she left town after you did. If she really loved you like you thought, she wouldn't do that. Don't you think? I think I was right all along. She was just slumming with you."

He stepped towards her and she stepped back, although the mulish look on her face didn't go away. "Shut up," he said. She was definitely touching a raw nerve. It wasn't like he hadn't thought all those same things, but his stubbornness wouldn't quite let him completely believe Rayna didn't really love him.

She smiled at him. "I don't know why you keep writing that garbage. It's never gonna see the light of day, you know."

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, you're wrong about that." She frowned. He hadn't meant to say anything about his open mic and Watty White, but she had pushed him too far. "I got offered a publishing deal. Just me. Without you."

She narrowed her eyes. "What in the hell do you mean?" she spat out.

He clenched his jaw. "Someone heard me play. And liked it. Told me I could be on my own." He breathed out. "That I _should_ be."

Her eyes turned cold as ice then and she stepped up to him. "Then why don't you just do that," she said, her voice low and quiet, but filled with malice. "Why don't you just go on and do that." She lifted her finger at him. "We're done. I'll do this on my own. I don't need you anyway. So go on. Get out of here. I'm not carrying you on my coattails any longer, baby brother."

He stood there, just looking at her for a moment. He hadn't really meant for things to go this far, but now that they had, he thought maybe it was for the best. "Fine," he said. "I'll get." He grabbed his messenger bag and headed for his bedroom, slamming the door.

He heard Beverly leave the house and he stretched out on his bed, not really sure what he was going to do next.

* * *

The banging on the door woke him up. He looked at the clock and saw that it was just after one in the morning. He'd slept fitfully, after the fight with Beverly, and he was already grouchy. He glanced over at Vince's bed and noticed it was empty. He wondered if Vince had lost his key. "Son of a bitch," he mumbled to himself, as he stumbled towards the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Carmen, the girl Vince had been hanging out with lately, standing on the porch. "Carmen?" he said, puzzled.

He hadn't noticed at first that she was crying, but when she grabbed his shirt, he could see the tears on her face. "Vince has been in an accident," she cried, her sobs making it a little hard to understand her.

He frowned. "What?" He instantly had a bad feeling.

Carmen struggled for a moment to collect herself. "He left my place. He was really drunk. I followed him out, but he got in his truck." She stopped a moment, wiping a hand across her face. "He didn't get far," she said, then dissolved into sobs again. "They took him to the hospital." She looked up at him. "Will you go with me?"

His mind was racing. He was having trouble catching his breath. Carmen was whimpering and he looked back at her. "Yeah," he said, feeling distracted. "Yeah, let me get my keys." He went back into the bedroom and grabbed his keys, then walked back to the porch. He put his arm around Carmen's shoulders and together they walked down the steps and out to his truck.

* * *

When they got to the emergency room, it took nearly an hour for someone to come talk to them. Deacon remembered later that it seemed like the doctor was about twelve. He looked young, like he was just pretending to be a doctor.

"You're friends of Vince Jameson?" he asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Deacon nodded. "Yes," Carmen said. "Is he okay?"

The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but his injuries were just too severe."

Carmen started to hyperventilate. Deacon felt like he couldn't get his mind to work properly. Everything suddenly felt like it was running in slow motion. "What…what happened?" he asked, struggling to maintain his composure.

"From what I understand, he ran into a tree. He had massive internal injuries when he came in." He looked at the two of them. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but can you come in and identify him? And do you know how we can reach his family?"

Deacon struggled to catch his breath and leaned over, his head in his hands. He couldn't believe Vince was dead. It didn't seem possible. Carmen was crying and clinging to his arm.

"Sir?" the doctor asked.

Deacon looked up. "I can call his dad," he said, choking on the words. He looked at Carmen. "Do you want to go back?"

Carmen shook her head, still sobbing. "I can't," she wailed.

Deacon looked back at the doctor and took a deep breath. "I guess I can." He stood up and then looked down at Carmen. "I'll be right back," he said. She nodded. Then he followed the doctor back to one of the treatment areas. They had curtained it off and the doctor held one end of the curtain so that Deacon could enter.

There was a sheet covering what was obviously a body and suddenly Deacon wasn't sure he could do this after all. He hung back as the doctor walked over to the hospital bed. He turned back. "Sir?" he asked. Deacon slowly walked over and the doctor pulled back the sheet for a moment.

Deacon turned away, overcome with grief. All he could do was nod at the doctor, as sobs racked his body. Vince, his best friend, was gone. Deacon looked up towards the ceiling and then rubbed his face with his hands. He had no idea what he was going to say to Vince's parents, but he would have to think of something.

And so he ended up on a pay phone, Carmen hanging on his arm, placing a collect call. When Vince's father took the call, Deacon took a deep breath and said, "Mr. Jameson, I'm afraid I got some really bad news."

* * *

He had told Beverly he would leave, but he sure hadn't planned to be going to Natchez. He'd driven all day and he was exhausted, his head was buzzing. When he saw the sign that said 'Natchez 2 miles', he could feel all the emotions start to flood through him. Life had been tough in Natchez, but Vince had been a good, loyal friend. He was too young to be gone. Deacon could feel the tears sliding down his face and made no effort to wipe them away.

He thought about the last time he'd driven to Natchez, with Beverly, when their parents had died in the house fire. It brought back the memories of looking for Rayna. Natchez had nothing but painful memories now.

When he reached a motel near downtown, he sat in his truck and cried. He had no idea what he would do after Vince's funeral. There was really no reason to be in Natchez, not with Rayna gone and now Vince too. He wasn't sure if he should go back to Nashville and seek out Watty again or go somewhere else. He just knew he couldn't stay there. He rubbed his face and took several deep breaths, then finally got out of the truck and walked towards the motel office.

* * *

He was too wired to sleep and he was hungry, so he decided to go to the diner for a bite to eat. He felt a little bit like he was in a daze as he walked towards the door. Just as he opened it, something caught his eye. He frowned and let the door close. Then his eyes widened as he saw the poster advertising Rayna Wyatt performing at the Landslide. He felt his heart beating hard in his chest. _She's here._ He wondered when she'd come back, how long she'd been in town. He looked again. She was performing that night, 8:00. He couldn't believe his luck.

He knew where he would be that night.

* * *

He got to the Landslide at about 8:45. He hadn't wanted to spook her, so thought he'd come closer to when she might have be at the end of her set. He slid in the door and stayed in the shadows, leaning against the wall. He remembered this place, from the times he and Beverly had played here. It was packed. She was standing on the stage, with a single guitarist behind her. He sucked in his breath. She still looked so beautiful. He noticed her hair was longer and she'd pulled it over to the side in a ponytail. She was wearing a tank top with a bejeweled eagle across the chest and a short jean skirt that showed off her long, slender legs. But he was completely mesmerized by her voice.

 _So if you really feel like leavin', do it now / And let me keep a little of my pride / You know that I'm not that good at goodbye_

 _I don't want to know you're leavin' when you go / 'Cause if we reach the part where you're standin' at the door / Well I know I'd just break down again and cry / You know that I'm not that good at goodbye_

He felt the burn of tears in his eyes and he swallowed over the lump in his throat as he remembered singing the same Merle Haggard song the first time she'd seen him at the Mile Post. He was blown away by how good she was. She was definitely better than most of the singers and wannabe singers he'd run across in Nashville. She was even better than Beverly. He felt a flash of anger as he thought of his sister and the things she'd said, but he refocused his attention on Rayna.

After two more songs, she raised her hands up as the crowd enthusiastically applauded. "Thank y'all," she said, as she waved. "I'm gonna take a short break and then we'll be back for the nightcap." She smiled and put the mic back on the stand. She walked down the steps from the stage, stopping periodically to speak to people and grasp their hands or let them hug her, and then headed over to the bar. He watched her lean against the counter, her hands flat on the bar, bouncing lightly in her boots. The bartender had leaned in to take her order and then walked away to get her drink.

He made his way over to her, just as the bartender set a bottled water in front of her. "Rayna," he said softly.

She turned to him and the color drained out of her face. "Deacon?" she whispered. She moved one hand over her heart, and in that instant he saw that she was still wearing the promise ring he'd given her.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was sitting on the floor with Maddie, watching her daughter putting blocks on top of each other. Then she would swipe them all over and laugh hysterically. Rayna would laugh along with her and then help her gather them all back up just so she could do it all over again. Finally Maddie seemed to tire of the repetitive game and she came over and sat on her mother's lap. Rayna wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her close. She loved these moments of quiet, when Maddie would curl into her.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the little photo booth picture of Deacon and her. She'd shown this picture to Maddie a million times, it felt like, pointing at Deacon and telling her it was her daddy. Deacon had been gone more than two years by this time and she'd nearly given up on him coming back. But she was determined that Maddie would know she did have a father, even if she never got the chance to meet him.

Maddie reached for the picture. "Da da!" she said.

Rayna smiled at her daughter, holding the picture just out of reach. "Who is it?" she asked.

"Da da!" Maddie said again. She smiled and then stuck her fingers in her mouth.

Rayna felt a thrill of excitement rush through her. She held the little picture up. "Is this your daddy?" she asked Maddie.

Maddie nodded vigorously. "Da da! Da da!" she cried out. Rayna remembered the first time Maddie had said it. It had, in fact, been the first words she'd said and it had nearly broken her heart. She hated everything that he was missing. She smiled to herself now, though, thinking about how, every time Maddie said those words, Lamar would get red in the face. But now she could feel that repressed hope start to rise up in her again. Maddie struggled out of her grasp and walked across her room to the little kitchen set that Lamar had surprised her with just a few weeks ago. Rayna just watched as Maddie started banging the little pots and pans around, chanting 'yum yum' over and over.

* * *

She waved her hands at the crowd. "Thank, y'all!" she cried, smiling broadly. "I'm gonna take a short break and then we'll be back for the nightcap." Kind of like her own version of an encore, she'd come back for two more songs before she was done. She slid the mic back on the stand and then walked down the steps from the stage. Every time she did this, she loved it more and more. She felt so at home on stage and she no longer felt nervous or scared every time she performed.

"Love you, Rayna!"

"Great set!"

"Don't take too long a break, girl!"

She laughed and smiled at the people in the audience who gave her encouragement, reached out to take her hand or hug her. She had lots of regulars who came out every week to listen to her set. She felt honored and appreciated their warm acceptance. She skipped over to the bar and leaned in. "Brad, can you get me a bottled water?" she called over to the bartender.

"Sure thing," he called back and headed for the little fridge.

"Rayna."

She turned at the sound of her name and gasped, putting her hand over her heart. She could see in her peripheral vision that Brad had set the bottle of water on the counter before everything around her seemed to fade away. All she could see was the beautiful man standing in front of her, his hair a little longer, his face with a little more stubble, a little more weariness to him, but the same crystal blue eyes she saw every night in her dreams. "Deacon?" she whispered, her voice shaking.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it's me." His heart was beating so hard he was sure she could hear it. His voice was shaking with emotion.

She lifted her hand to her mouth and he could see tears in her eyes. "Oh my God," she said. "I…I can't believe you're really here."

He breathed in. "I wish I'd never left," he said.

Her hand was shaking. She slowly reached out to touch his arm, as though she couldn't believe he was real. Her fingers slid down his sleeve and then she reached out to grab his other arm. Her eyes never left his face. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she said. "I just…oh my God." And then she slid her hands down and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself against him. "Oh, Deacon, you came back," she cried.

He could feel her legs start to buckle and he wrapped his arms tightly around her while she cried on his shoulder. He had tears in his own eyes as he held her close. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered in her hair. "I'm so sorry."

She looked up at him. "When did you get here?"

"Today. I seen a poster that you were singing here tonight." He rubbed his hands up and down her back, relishing the feel of her back in his arms. "I didn't know you were here."

She reached up then and put her hand on his cheek. "I've dreamed about this so many times," she said. "That someday you'd come back." Her face crumpled up in tears for a moment and then she took a deep breath to regain control. "I always hoped one day you'd come back."

He put his hand on her cheek. "Baby, I thought about you every day. I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'm sorry I didn't come back like I said. But…."

She shook her head and interrupted him. "But you're back now." She bit her lip. "And I have so much to tell you."

He smiled back at her. "We got all the time in the world, baby."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

She didn't want him to let her go, but she needed to do her nightcap. She pulled back. "I need to go do the last two songs," she whispered.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I'll wait."

She looked at him. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I got nothing better to do than wait for you," he said, and then he smiled, that boyish smile that she loved so much.

She smiled back at him and reached her hand up and put it on his cheek. "I love you," she said. "I've missed you so much."

He put his hand on her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "I love you, too, Ray." He nodded towards the stage. "But you gotta finish."

"I'll be right back," she said, and reluctantly left him to go back up on stage.

* * *

When the nightcap was over, she still had to mingle a little bit, although she didn't want to. She kept glancing over at Deacon, sitting at one of the back tables, as though he was a ghost and might disappear in a puff of smoke. He would smile every time she looked at him and she'd smile back. Finally she was able to get back to the table where he sat.

"You didn't have to stay," she said, but she was definitely glad he had.

He looked up at her. "You were amazing, Ray," he said. He nodded towards the other chair. "Can you sit?"

She shook her head, feeling a little anxiety race through her. "I can't. I need to get home."

He looked puzzled but he stood up. "Can I walk you out?"

She smiled shyly. "I'd like that."

He put his hand lightly on the small of her back as he followed her out to her car. She could feel herself shiver. When they got to the car, she leaned against it and smiled up at him. "I still can't believe you was actually here," he said. "I love you so much, baby." Then he put his hands on her waist and leaned in to kiss her. She responded at first, then put her hands on his forearms and pushed him back gently.

She needed to tell him, right then, about Maddie. There would be no use going any further if it scared him off and she needed to know before she got in so far that it broke her heart. "Deacon, I love you too, but my life is…well, it's complicated," she said, holding his gaze.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

She bit her lip. "The reason I need to get home. I have a daughter," she said. He looked surprised. Her heart was in her throat, but she pressed on. " _We_ have a daughter."

"What?" He looked stunned.

She took a deep breath. "I found out I was pregnant after you left. And now we have a daughter." She watched him carefully. He seemed like the wind had been knocked out of him. "Deacon…." She felt like she couldn't breathe, waiting for him to say something.

He shook his head. "God, Ray, I'm so sorry. I mean, that you were alone."

"Deacon, I know this is a lot. I don't even know how you feel about it." She started to cry then and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close.

"I ain't mad," he said softly. "And I ain't walking away." He pushed her back and looked into her eyes. "We got a daughter?" He worked his lip for a second and then he smiled.

She felt the beginnings of a sense of relief. She smiled back and nodded. "Her name is Maddie. She's beautiful, Deacon. She looks just like you."

He laughed just a little. "She does?" She nodded. He bit his lip. "Do you have a picture?"

She nodded and reached into her purse, pulling out her wallet. She pulled out the picture of Maddie that had been taken just a month earlier. The photographer had gotten her to laugh and Rayna thought she looked adorable in her little sundress, holding onto her pink pony, the same one that had been waiting for her when Rayna had brought her home from Biloxi. She handed the picture to Deacon. "It's recent," she said.

She watched Deacon as he stood looking at it. He breathed in slowly and lifted his hand and laid it on the back of his neck. His face was shadowed and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Finally he lifted his head and looked at her and she could see his eyes filled with tears. He worked his lip and then whispered, "You're right. She is beautiful." He took another deep breath and then let it out slowly, then cleared his throat. "How old is she?"

"Eighteen months old."

He looked down again at the picture for a moment, then back at her. "Can I see her?"

She smiled and nodded, tears in her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Thanks so much to everyone who's left a review! I love hearing what you think.**_

* * *

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He'd hated to leave her, now that he'd found her again. Having her in his arms, feeling her lips against his, breathing in the scent of her again had been much more than he'd ever hoped for. He was back in his motel room, but he couldn't sleep. His arms ached for her, his body ached for her. He walked back and forth across the room, then stopped and ran his hands through his hair. He looked at himself in the mirror. _I'm a daddy. I have a baby girl._ He could hardly breathe thinking about it.

He wanted to see Maddie. Needed to see her. Even though he still wasn't completely sure how he felt about all of it, he wanted to see his daughter. He felt tears in his eyes thinking about the fact that Rayna had gone through all of that alone. When he thought about the fact that she hadn't left Natchez because of him, but to have Maddie, he felt his heart ache. And when he thought about the fact that Lamar had let him think Rayna had walked away from him, he felt white-hot anger. He should have been there with her, no matter what.

Suddenly he was overwhelmingly tired. The long drive, the sorrow over Vince, the joy at finding Rayna again, had all caught up with him. He would see Rayna the next day. She had been distraught to hear about Vince and insisted on going with him to the funeral. And after that he'd meet his daughter for the first time.

He and Rayna had so much to talk about, so much to catch up on. He wanted to tell her about Memphis, about Nashville, about Watty and his ideas. The fact that Rayna was singing now, and was so good, was making him wonder about what they could do together. But most of all he wanted to know about _her_ , about what had happened and when she'd come back to Natchez. And about their girl.

He sat on the bed, his head in his hands. He started to cry – with happiness, with sadness, with confusion, with relief. His tears eventually turned to smiles and a bit of laughter and then he laid back on the bed and fell into a deep, uninterrupted sleep.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

When Rayna pulled into the drive at her father's house, she realized she had no memory of having driven home from the Landslide. She still felt a little bit like she was dreaming. Surely having Deacon show up during her break and still be there at the end of her show was a dream. His arms around her, the kiss he left her with, that had to be a dream. Hearing him say the words she'd ached to hear all these years – _we got all the time in the world, baby_ – that definitely had to be a dream.

But it wasn't. It was the most real thing she'd felt in over two years. She could still feel his hands on her skin, his lips against hers, the smell of him. It was all so very real. And now she would see him again. Introduce him to his daughter. And hope it didn't all fade away with the harsh reality that he'd not only left her behind, but their daughter as well, as unintentional as that had been.

There was so much they needed to talk about, so many things to say to each other. But the most important conversation they would have would be about their daughter.

She felt tears on her cheeks again as she sat in the car. She took a deep breath then and, turning off the car, got out. She walked into the house, noticing the soft light coming from the den, and headed that way. When she got to the door, she saw Tandy sitting on the couch, reading. Her sister looked up and smiled when she saw Rayna.

"Hey, babe," she said. "How was it tonight?" Rayna took a ragged breath, tears filling her eyes again. Tandy sat up then, laying her book aside, concern crossing over her face. "Rayna, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Rayna let out a short laugh. "I kinda did," she said, and then walked around the coffee table and sat next to Tandy on the couch. "Deacon's back."

Tandy's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Rayna nodded. "He showed up at the Landslide tonight, right before my break." She waved her hand. "Well, I don't know exactly when he got there, but he just appeared at the bar when I was getting some water during my break. Kind of like a ghost, just reappearing."

Tandy leaned forward and took Rayna's hand, still looking concerned. "How did it feel?" she asked.

Rayna smiled. "Wonderful. It was exactly how I hoped it would be. He came back for me. He missed me."

Tandy frowned. "But he's been gone over two _years_ , Rayna. What took so long?"

Rayna hesitated and then shrugged. "I don't know. Chasing the dream, I guess. We didn't talk about that tonight, but we will."

"And what about Maddie? Did you tell him about Maddie?"

Rayna shifted her eyes away for a second, then back. "Yes, I did. I couldn't keep that from him."

Tandy sighed. "Oh, babe."

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"I just don't want you to be disappointed."

Rayna stood up. "I don't know why you assume I'd be disappointed." She turned and walked away, not stopping when Tandy called after her. She went up the stairs and down the hall to her daughter's bedroom, carefully opening the door so as not to wake her. She walked over to the crib and leaned over to look at her daughter. Maddie was lying on her back, her blanket wadded at her feet, the little pink pony she was almost never without, lying next to her. In the soft light of the nearby night light, she looked peaceful, her breathing soft and even. Rayna was struck again by how much Maddie looked like Deacon, with her dark hair and those blue eyes, now closed, that seemed to be the eyes of an old soul. She smiled and reached out to very gently trail her finger over Maddie's face. Maddie twitched her nose, but didn't waken.

Tears filled Rayna's eyes as she watched her sleeping daughter and thought about the big changes coming in her life. "Your daddy's home, baby girl," she whispered into the air. "He's come back, just like I told you he would. And I can't wait for him to meet you." She ran her fingers lightly down her daughter's arm. "Sleep well, my sweet girl," she said.

She walked over to the door and then stood there for a moment, looking back at her sleeping daughter. So much was going to change, for all of them. With all her heart, she hoped Deacon would embrace Maddie the same way he'd embraced her that night, that his heart was big enough for the both of them. She closed Maddie's door then and walked slowly down to her bedroom, feeling both joyful and anxious all at once.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon woke early the next day. He'd slept the sleep of the dead and he felt rested. He sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face with his hands. A warm feeling rolled over him and he smiled. He would see Rayna today. Not in the best of circumstances, but they would be together. And then he would meet Maddie. He felt little pinpricks of anxiety as he considered that. He'd never been around a baby, a child. He'd never considered being a father. He rubbed his face again. He had no experience and no role model. And he didn't want to screw up.

Truthfully, he was scared to death. It was certainly not what he'd expected. He also hadn't expected to find Rayna in Natchez either, but that had been a very welcome bonus. _But a kid. What am I supposed to do with a kid? I don't know nothing about raising kids. I ain't old enough to already be a daddy. I don't know what to do._ He wondered if he could tell Rayna those things, without scaring her. He thought he just needed some time to adjust, to figure out what to do.

His mind went back to the day he'd left Natchez, when he'd left Rayna standing in her driveway. It had been the hardest thing he'd ever done and it was all he could do not to turn around and go back to her. He closed his eyes as he thought about what he'd said to her. _Let me go. I'll come back for you, but don't stop living your life. If things change, it's okay. I'll understand._

He hadn't really meant that, the part about being okay if things changed. Even though Lamar had warned him away from her, tried to buy his exit, he hadn't been ready to give up on Rayna Wyatt. He'd never wanted to do that. And she'd promised she'd be there.

 _I'll wait for you. I promise. You promised you'd come back. And I promise I'll wait. I'll be here._

But then she hadn't been here when he came back. He'd been so confused and hurt, thinking she really had moved on. A part of him never fully believed it, but he had stayed away anyway. He knew he was lucky, that she could easily have pushed him away the night before, told him she'd moved on, because he'd not lived up to his promise.

He breathed in and thought about seeing her the night before. She was just as pretty as she was when he left. Actually prettier, somehow. She still had that beautiful smile and her nose wrinkled when she laughed, just the same way. She did look different somehow and he wondered if it was because she was a mama. She seemed more sure of herself. Watching her standing on the stage, she'd mesmerized him, the same as she had everyone else in the room. And her voice – she had the voice of an angel.

He looked up toward the ceiling, thanking God for letting him find her again. He wondered what it had been like for her after he'd left town, when she was pregnant. He supposed that would be one of those things they talked about. They had so much to say to each other.

* * *

Deacon got in the shower, letting the warm water roll over his face. He'd told Vince's father he'd come by. He wasn't really sure what all he could say to him, but if it helped Mr. Jameson to talk about Vince, he'd do it. It was the least he could do. They were just doing a graveside service and he knew Mr. Jameson wanted him to give some kind of speech. He wasn't really good at that kind of thing, but he'd work something up and ask Rayna to take a look at it for him.

He smiled to himself, thinking about Rayna. He would pick her up at her sister's and then after the service, they'd go back and he could meet Maddie. He wondered what that would be like. Babies were a lot of work, he knew. He didn't know the first thing about taking care of one. A baby would need a lot of attention. It would need to be fed and have diapers changed and would need to be comforted when it was hurt or sick. It was a huge responsibility.

His own father had not been much of a role model. He hadn't been loving or caring, hadn't just spent time with Deacon. If he was sick, his father would get mad and sometimes would hit him, calling him sickly. He never helped with homework or listened to him pick out a song on the guitar. Deacon was always afraid of his father, never knowing when he might erupt, leaving pain in his wake.

Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest hurt, like something was wrapped tightly around him. He put his hands on the shower walls and tried to breathe, but he couldn't. The water was flowing down around him and he had the sensation he was drowning. He felt his heart racing and he was shaking. He could hear himself gasping for air, like he had so many times before when he was hiding in his closet as a kid.

His knees started to buckle and he started to feel lightheaded. He slid down until he was on his knees in the tub. The water was still pouring over him, only lukewarm now. He still couldn't breathe. He finally put his head down on the edge of the tub and willed himself to calm down. He started with small, very shallow breaths, finally feeling his heart stop racing. Then he made himself breathe a little deeper and he felt his chest start to relax. By the time he finally was able to breathe normally, the water running over him was cold and he started to shiver. He reached out and turned off the water and then slowly pushed himself up until he was standing.

He cautiously stepped out of the tub and grabbed a towel. When he looked in the mirror, his eyes were wide and he thought he looked a little crazy. He dried off and then went and sat on the bed. He took a few more deep breaths and started to feel better. He rubbed the towel over his wet hair and hoped he could do this with Rayna. He wasn't really worried about her, but he was worried he'd let her down when it came to Maddie.

 _I wanna be the man you need. I wanna do right by you, baby. And our girl. I promise I'll do my best._

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Deacon was picking her up after lunch, so Rayna took advantage of the morning to run some errands. She dropped Maddie off at Tandy's and headed for Natchez's downtown area. She was at her favorite little boutique, looking over some blouses, when she heard her name called out. She turned and frowned, looking for the person who'd said her name. Her eyes landed on a pretty blonde dressed in jeans and an Ole Miss t-shirt, her hand lifted in a wave. For a minute she struggled to put a name to the face and then she realized it was Cassie Sommers.

"Cassie," she said, stepping back from the blouse she'd been looking at, as Cassie made her way over.

Cassie reached out and pulled Rayna into an awkward hug, then stepped back. "Wow, it's been a long time, hasn't it?" She touched the blouse Rayna had been looking at. "Cute."

"What are you doing here?" Rayna asked, still frowning slightly. She hadn't seen Cassie since the end of school her junior year. She had not reconnected with anyone from high school once she'd returned to Natchez.

"Oh, Liza Wells is getting married and I'm her maid of honor. You remember Liza, right?"

Rayna didn't, but she nodded. "Of course." She wished Cassie would go on about her business.

Cassie didn't seem to notice Rayna's disinterest. "I haven't really been back in Natchez in ages. My boyfriend is from Atlanta and I've spent holidays with him. And I did a summer abroad, in Italy, last summer. I mean, Natchez is not a very happening place, right?" She gave Rayna a conspiratorial look, as though they were old friends.

Rayna at least could agree there. "You're right, it's not."

"When did you come back?" Cassie asked, with a tiny frown.

Rayna took a deep breath. She didn't know if Cassie knew she'd had a baby, but decided not to say anything about it. "After senior year. I just needed to, you know, get away from here." Cassie nodded as though she understood. "I took some time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life."

Cassie looked at her curiously. "So what have you been doing since you came back?"

Rayna shrugged. "A little of this, a little of that. I've been doing a little singing, down at the Landslide."

Cassie just nodded. "Interesting." She screwed up her face a little. "So did that guy from high school find you? He showed up here after you left, looking for you."

Rayna's heart nearly stopped. She felt a cold chill run up her spine. "What?" she croaked.

"Yeah, he came by the school and asked if I'd seen you. I think he was checking to see if your dad had told him the truth. I never saw him again."

Rayna could feel herself shaking. "When?" she asked.

Cassie considered that and then shrugged. "I don't remember exactly. Sometime in the fall, I think." She smiled then and reached out to pat Rayna's arm. "Listen, it was good to see you, but I need to run. Bye!" She turned and headed for the door.

"Bye," Rayna said, distractedly, as she considered what Cassie had just told her. _Deacon did come back for me. And Daddy never told me._ She felt a slow burn inside. He'd deliberately kept her and Deacon apart.

* * *

Tandy had Maddie in her high chair when Rayna got back. Maddie was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich Rayna had made that morning and brought with her. "Hey, sweetie," Tandy said, with a smile. "Maddie's having her lunch and then I'll put her down for a nap afterwards." She raised her eyebrows. "She should wake up just before you two get back over here."

Rayna put her purse and the shopping bag she had on a chair and walked over to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "Hey, sweet girl," she said.

"Mama, eat!" Maddie called out, her mouth full of sandwich and waving the rest of it in her hand.

Tandy smiled. "I've kept her very busy, so I think she'll have a good nap."

Rayna looked at her sister and smiled wearily. "Thanks," she said. Then she walked over to the fridge and got out a Diet Coke. She popped the top and then sat in the chair opposite Tandy and took a sip.

Tandy frowned. "What's going on?" she asked.

Rayna put the can down and ran her finger around the edge, not looking at Tandy. She breathed in and then she sighed. She looked at Tandy then. "Did Daddy tell you that Deacon came looking for me while I was in Biloxi?" she asked.

Tandy's eyes flew open. "What?"

Rayna frowned. "Just answer me, Tandy. Did Daddy tell you that Deacon came to Natchez back in the fall when I was in Biloxi?"

Tandy shook her head. "No, of course not. But I was in school then and I hardly ever talked to Daddy." She raised her eyebrows. "Did Deacon tell you he came?"

Rayna took another sip of her soft drink and then shook her head. "No, he didn't. But someone I knew from school did. He apparently went to see her too." She looked sharply at her sister. "So he really didn't say anything?"

Tandy rolled her eyes. "Rayna, Daddy was almost as mad at me as he was at you then. He thought I was protecting you. I didn't have any conversation of substance with Daddy until you had Maddie." She paused. "So Deacon really did come back?"

Rayna shrugged. "Apparently. It may have been when his parents' house burned down. But Cassie said he was in town and that he had seen Daddy. Daddy, of course, never told me and I can only imagine what he told Deacon."

"Will you ask Deacon about it?"

Rayna nodded. "I will." She sighed. "He said something last night about not knowing I was here and I sort of just glossed over it, I guess. That must be what he meant."

Tandy reached out across the table and squeezed Rayna's hand. "I know the two of you will talk it all out."

Rayna nodded and pulled her hand away. "Yeah, I guess." She stood up then. "I'm going to go change. I can put Maddie down when she's done." And then she walked out of the room.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

After speaking to Vince's parents after the burial, Deacon took Rayna's hand and they walked back across the grass to the road where his truck was parked. They didn't say anything as they walked. She'd been very quiet, ever since he'd picked her up. It could have been because of Vince, but he thought there was probably more to it than that. When they got to the truck and he opened the door for her, she got in and then gave him a tiny smile as he closed the door. When he got in the driver's side, he put the key in the ignition and then turned to her. She looked at him expectantly. "I know you want to go back to your sister's, but I want us to talk first," he said. "Is that okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right. We need to."

He started the car then and pulled out of the cemetery. He headed for the bluff, the place they'd gone so many times before and, halfway there, she reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his. He held it tightly, as though she might fade away if he didn't. He would occasionally look over at her and she would give him an encouraging smile.

When they got to the bluff, he parked and turned off the truck, then turned towards her. "I'm sorry I didn't come back before, baby," he said. "But I thought you were gone. Vince actually told me you hadn't gone back to school."

She sighed. "I didn't. When I found out I was pregnant, Daddy sent me to my Aunt Eleanor in Biloxi. I stayed there until Maddie was born. And then he let me come home. But I never went back to school. I just took care of Maddie." She reached her hand out and put it on his arm and took a deep breath. "I need to ask you a question and I need you to be completely honest with me," she said.

He frowned slightly. "Course, baby."

She turned to look out the windshield, her hands tightly clasped in her lap. "Did you ever come back to Natchez? I mean, before now?" He looked away, working his lip. "I'm not mad at you, Deacon, if it's true. I just need to know." He still didn't look at her, but he nodded. He could hear her gasp. "When?"

He sighed. "Our house burned down. It was November, after we left. Me and Beverly came then," he said, his voice flat.

She was quiet for a moment. "Did you come looking for me?" she asked, finally. He nodded. He thought about going to her house, about the things Lamar had said to him. He felt so bad. "I was in Biloxi."

He turned to look at her, his chest hurting with all his pain and sorrow. "I know that now. Nobody knew nothing, 'cept you didn't come back to school. Cassie told me you seemed sad at the end of the year. And I went by your house…."

She narrowed her eyes. "What did Daddy say?" she asked.

He sighed again. "That you left. 'Cause of me." He reached for her hand and she grasped it tightly.

"You know, in a twisted sort of way, that's true. But not because I wanted to. I never wanted to leave. I always planned to wait for you." She breathed in. "I'm so angry, Deacon."

He nodded. "Believe me, if I'd a known, I'd a been there. I promise I wouldn't have left you like that."

She struggled to smile. "I know. I believe you." She shook her head. "I'm just so angry that I didn't know you'd been here. I saw the house and I wondered if you'd come back, but I didn't even know who to ask."

He rubbed his thumb over her hand. "We wasn't here but a day. Vince heard about it and Beverly wanted to come back to be sure. And I tried to find you." He felt so ashamed.

She immediately put her other hand on his cheek and leaned in. "Don't blame yourself. You tried. I just needed to know."

He frowned then, realizing what she'd said. "You went to the house?" he asked.

She nodded. "I kept thinking you were coming home. It was after graduation, although I hadn't gone through graduation here. But you'd told me you'd come back then and you didn't, so I went out there. I don't know why, really. I guess I thought maybe I could get some answers, but, of course, I didn't."

He leaned into her, his forehead touching hers. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about all of it. I'm sorry I believed him and that I didn't come back anyway. I'm sorry you went through all that on your own." He looked at her, her eyes filled with sadness. "I don't know why you ain't so pissed at me right now. I let you down so bad." He could feel the tears roll down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

She took his hands in hers and looked deep into his eyes. "I knew there had to be a reason," she said. "I mean, yeah, I was hurt when you didn't come, but I was hoping it was because, you know, you and Beverly were getting noticed. That you needed to pay attention to your career." She bit her lip. "I always believed somehow you'd find me again. I just had to believe it or…well, I just couldn't have gone on."

He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. "I was thinking about you every day, all the time." He let out a shaky laugh. "Beverly wouldn't sing none of my songs 'cause they was all about you."

She smiled shyly. "They were?"

He nodded. "Almost all of 'em, anyway." He bit his lip, the tears coming again. "Damn, baby, if I'd known…." He shook his head. "I blame myself."

She let go of his hands and put them on his face. "Don't," she said. "You're here now. That's all that matters. And now I know what happened. And that you _did_ come looking for me." She narrowed her eyes. "This is Daddy's fault. He's the one to blame."

He sighed. He was nervous about what would happen once Lamar found out he was back in town. He didn't want to cause Rayna any pain. He leaned in and kissed her then. "We'll figure it out, baby," he said. "I promise."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Deacon held her hand, running his thumb over her fingers. He stopped as he ran it over the promise ring. He looked at her. "You're still wearing this," he said.

Rayna nodded and smiled. "I've worn it every day. Whenever I started to lose hope, I'd look at it and I'd remind myself that you'd come back. Some day. And that I'd wait. No matter how long it took. And here you are."

He reached up and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'm glad you were here when I got here," he said. He leaned in and kissed her gently. "I guess we should go."

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess we should."

Deacon pulled into Tandy's driveway and he turned off the ignition. Rayna reached out and put a hand on his arm and he turned to look at her. She took a deep breath. "You ready for this?" she asked. She thought she saw a little tension around his eyes.

He breathed in and then nodded. "Yeah," he said softly. "But I'm kinda scared too."

She took his hand and held it against her heart. "I know it's scary," she said. "I know you didn't expect this. It's a lot. Coming back and finding out you have a daughter."

He nodded. "It ain't what I expected, that's for sure," he said. He bit his lip as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I know I'm gonna love her, though," he said and Rayna felt tears in her eyes. "I wanna know everything about her."

She smiled at him. "I wanna tell you everything." She laughed then. "But she's waiting to meet her daddy."

He smiled then. "I can't wait to meet her too, baby." He leaned in and kissed her, putting one hand on the side of her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. She reached up and put her hand on his arm, pulling at his lip until he opened his mouth to hers. She sighed contentedly as he kissed her the way she'd wanted him to kiss her for so long.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon stood in Tandy's living room, his hands in his pockets, rocking nervously back and forth. He concentrated on breathing in and out, not wanting to give in to the panic he felt. Rayna's sister walked out from the kitchen.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked. He shook his head. She walked towards the couch and gestured at it. "Sit down?"

He could tell she was trying to be nice, but he had no idea how she really felt about him. She hadn't been overly warm when Rayna introduced them and he suspected that Tandy felt protective of her sister. "I'm good," he said.

She nodded and sat down, perching on the edge of the couch. She looked up at him. "She's really a good little girl," she said finally. He raised his eyebrows. "Rayna's done a really good job with her. She's been a really good mom."

Just then he heard footsteps and he turned to see Rayna walk out from the bedrooms. She was holding a little dark haired girl in her arms, who had her fingers stuck in her mouth. He took a deep breath, feeling his heart start to beat faster, willing himself not to panic. The little girl was staring at him intently, which unnerved him just a little. He felt his mouth go dry and he swallowed hard. This was his daughter, his flesh and blood. He felt his throat start to close off and he forced himself to relax. _You can do this. You got to do this._

Rayna walked closer, a smile on her face. She looked down at the little girl in her arms. "Maddie," she said.

Just then Maddie took her fingers out of her mouth and held them out towards Deacon. "Da da," she said. "My da."

Deacon could feel his chest squeeze, but it wasn't panic this time. He had no idea how he was going to do this, but as he looked at Maddie, he knew he would love her for the rest of his life. Rayna was looking at him, tears in her eyes. "Deacon," she said softly. "This is your daughter." She turned towards Maddie and kissed the little girl on the side of her face. Then she looked back at him. "Would you like to hold her?" Deacon nodded, tears in his own eyes. Rayna laughed. "Why don't you sit down? You look like you might pass out."

He grinned sheepishly and sat. Rayna sat next to him. Maddie stared at him curiously. She reached her hand out towards him. He bit his lip and then he said, "Hey, Maddie."

Maddie stuck her fingers back in her mouth, but she was smiling. She turned in towards Rayna, snuggling into her. Deacon sat back, thinking about how often he heard babies cry and scream at the diner. He'd wondered how parents dealt with that, although so many of them seemed to just ignore it. Rayna smiled at him then. "She's always like this with new people," she said. She bit her lip. "But she recognized you. I've shown her your picture."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?" She nodded. Maddie turned back to look at him then and he turned his attention to her. She seemed very calm and not at all like she wanted to scream. She finally took the couple steps it took to move from Rayna to him and put her hand on his arm to steady herself. He worked his lip as he stared into her eyes. She seemed curious, not afraid, and he thought maybe he shouldn't be so afraid either.

She surprised him by sliding down to sit next to him, scooting over close. Then she turned to look up at him. "Dad-dy," she said.

He felt like crying. "Yeah, baby girl," he said softly. "I'm your daddy."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna stood in the doorway watching Maddie and Deacon. He was sitting on the floor watching Maddie with her blocks. Maddie was doing what she always did – setting them up and then knocking them over – then looking at Deacon for approval. He would reach over and gather them up and she would set them up all over again.

Rayna smiled as she watched. Deacon would periodically look back at her, a look of amazement on his face. _So far, so good._ She felt a hand on her back and turned to see that Tandy had walked up next to her.

Tandy smiled and leaned in. "He seems to be doing okay," she said quietly.

Rayna nodded. "He's lucky she's so easy."

Tandy hesitated just a moment before saying, "So I think the two of you need some time to really talk."

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "We will," she said.

Tandy shook her head. "I think you need to start now. You have a lot to decide, about your family and what's next."

Rayna was wary. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing bad. But a whole lot has changed, for both of you, and you probably need to start sorting through it." She bumped Rayna's shoulder. "Daddy is still out of town so I'm volunteering my babysitting services."

Rayna was surprised. "Seriously?" Tandy nodded. "Oh, babe, thank you. You're probably right that we need to talk."

Tandy smiled slyly. "Well, and other things." She winked and then turned and walked off.

Rayna smiled to herself, thinking she'd just been given permission to spend the night with Deacon for the first time. She walked over to where he sat on the floor with their daughter and knelt down beside him, just as Maddie swung her arm and knocked over the pile of blocks. She turned back around and laughed gleefully. She fixed her eyes on Deacon and shouted "Da, more!"

As Deacon reached over to gather all the blocks up again, Rayna thought her heart might burst with joy.

 _ **I'll be traveling during the Christmas holiday, so I won't be able to get back to this until after that. I hope this chapter helps to tide you over until then. Thanks for reading!**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Hope everyone had a great holiday and that you're ready for the official season premiere of season 5! Thanks for all the great reviews! Hope you like this new chapter for Deacon and Rayna.**_

* * *

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Rayna took Deacon's hand as they walked out to his truck. He had watched her as she'd bathed Maddie and gotten her ready for bed. He wondered if he would ever feel as comfortable doing that as she seemed to be. He was certain he would drop Maddie or break her. Rayna had reassured him that he'd be fine, but he was still apprehensive. As he listened to Rayna sing to Maddie while she rocked their daughter, he thought again about how beautiful her voice was. It made him wonder if she had aspirations for more than just the Landslide. He had thought about what Watty had told him. _You're not the problem, Deacon. She is. The two of you together don't have strong voices, so you don't work as anything more than a bar act. There's no hook. She doesn't have what it takes to carry you as a duo, which you're trying to let her do._

He'd told Watty he wouldn't bail on Beverly, although that was exactly what he'd done. Although, more accurately, _she'd_ dumped _him_. He wondered, though, what Rayna would think about going to Nashville. She had a better voice than Beverly. And she sure had the look they seemed to want. Just then he realized Rayna was speaking to him, tugging on his hand. He looked at her. "I'm sorry, baby, what?" he said.

She gave him a look. "I was wondering what you were thinking," she said. "You seemed so lost in thought."

He smiled apologetically. "I was thinking about how you good you was with Maddie. I don't know if I can ever do all that."

She shook her head. "You'll be great. I can show you." She stopped then and bit her lip. "If you want to, that is."

He took a deep breath, realizing she was still unsure of where he stood. He pulled her into an embrace. "I'm all in, baby," he whispered against her hair. "Don't worry." He slid his hands to her arms and held her out from him just slightly. "What do you want to do tonight?"

She looked up at him, seeming to search his eyes. "I want to go somewhere that we can talk," she said. "I think we have so much to talk about. But" – and she bit her lip then – "I really just want to be with you," she said, her voice almost a whisper.

He smiled and then pulled her close and kissed her. "Me too, baby," he whispered against her lips.

* * *

Deacon opened the door to his motel room and Rayna walked in ahead of him. It was nothing fancy, but it was clean. He wished he'd been able to take her to someplace fancy like the Dunleith, but it would have to do. He closed the door behind them and when he turned back she was standing there facing him. Her smile seemed to light up her face and it took his breath away. She'd changed, certainly, since he'd left, but the changes were subtle. Her hair was longer and, while she was still slender, when he held her in his arms he could tell that there were curves that hadn't been there before. She bit her lip lightly then and he stepped towards her, taking her in his arms and kissing her deeply.

When he let her go, they were both a little breathless. He reached out then and, taking her blouse in both hands, tugged it out of the waist of her skirt. He took a deep breath and started to unbutton the buttons, as she watched his hands. When he'd finished, he pushed the blouse back and slid his hands underneath it to push it off her shoulders and down her arms, where it puddled on the floor. He then reached for the waist of her skirt and, pulling her a little closer, unbuttoned the top button and then slid down the zipper. He pushed that down and then she stepped out of it and her shoes.

He breathed in again. She stood there in her bra and panties, looking at him expectantly. He could hardly believe she was really standing there in front of him. Her actually being in Natchez had been more than he'd dared hope for and now it was like a dream come true. He took his time removing her lingerie, lingering over those places where he remembered she liked him to touch her, making her gasp and then close her eyes. "Oh, God, Ray," he whispered reverently. In all the times they'd been together, he'd never really seen her standing in front of him, completely open and naked. He was blown away by her beauty.

She opened her eyes then and gazed into his. Her lips had been slightly parted and they turned into a soft smile. He reached for the buttons on his shirt, but she took a step toward him and, shaking her head, brushed his hands away. Then she did the same to him that he'd done to her, undressing him slowly until he stood before her, completely stripped away. "Deacon," she said softly, the way she said his name like a caress.

He reached out and picked her up then. She was light as a feather and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the bed. He laid her gently on the covers and then put one knee on the bed next to her, leaning down to kiss her. She reached for him, letting him know she was ready too, and he groaned out loud. He gently lowered himself on top of her and she took him in expectantly, as they both let out sounds of contentment.

He put his hands around her face and felt her slide her arms around his back. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, feeling like he was drinking her in. Being with her again, like this, was all he'd ever dreamed it would be. It was both as magical as before and yet somehow even more intimate with the passage of time. It felt like coming home. "I love you, baby," he whispered against her lips.

She ran her fingers down his back and then flattened her palms against his ass. "I love you too," she whispered back, a lazy smile on her face.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Deacon was holding Rayna in his arms, gently placing little kisses on her nose, forehead, cheeks, mouth, shoulder, and neck. She wriggled against him appreciatively, her hand lazily trailing up and down his arm. After they'd made love, Deacon had pulled down the covers and they had wrapped themselves up with both the sheets and each other. She felt blissfully happy. Her skin was still tingling from the proximity to his, the feel of his skin against hers keeping her in a state of arousal. He reached over and pushed her hair back off her face. She breathed out and then she grinned. "We've still got it," she said, with a laugh.

He chuckled. "Oh, yeah, baby, we do." He leaned over and kissed her. "And it's even sweeter now."

She looked up at him, and reached up to run her fingers through his hair. "I would dream about this, you know? All the time."

He bit his lip and nodded. "Me too." He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "It turned into a lotta songs."

She reached her hand up and splayed her fingers out across his cheek. "I'm gonna want to hear them all someday, you know that, right?" she asked.

He smiled. "I'll play 'em all for you, baby." He slid his hand down and rested it on her stomach. He looked at where his hand was, then back at her. "What was it like?"

"When I was pregnant?" He nodded. "Well, it's sort of weird when you see your stomach getting bigger, but when she started to move, that's when it felt real. Sometimes I would feel really good and I had a lot of energy and then other times, especially towards the end, I was tired all the time and I felt so fat." She smiled at him and blushed a little. "My boobs got really big. You would have liked that."

He laughed softly. "I think I would have liked all of it." He worked his lip for a moment. "Were you scared?"

She nodded. "Sometimes. I was scared I wouldn't have anywhere to go. I was scared I wouldn't be a good mama. I was scared about the actual birth, that it would hurt a lot." She rubbed his arm. "When I was in labor, I guess that was when I was the most scared. Mostly about the fact that I was seventeen and I was going to have a baby to take care of. I didn't have a good role model for being a mama and I was scared I'd mess it all up."

He kissed her. "You done a great job, baby," he said. "She's amazing." She could see the tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered.

She reached up to wipe away his tears and frowned. "I don't blame you, Deacon. You didn't know. It wasn't like you knew and left me." She leaned in and kissed him. "You know, I always knew you'd come back someday. It was the reason I let Daddy bring us back here. I wanted you to be able to find me."

He pulled her close. "I wish I hadn't stayed gone so long," he whispered into her hair. "I missed you so much. All the time, Ray." He kissed her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly and he pulled his lips from hers and looked searchingly into her eyes. "I got so much to make up for."

She shook her head. "We just start now, babe," she said. "You're here now. That's all that matters." She ran her fingers through his hair and looked at him searchingly. "Are you sure about all this? I know…."

He put his fingers over her lips and shook his head. "I didn't expect it. But she's part of us. I mean, I'm terrified. I don't know how to be a dad. I'm so scared I'll screw up. I don't wanna disappoint you, Ray. Or her." He took a deep breath. "But I told you. I'm all in. I meant it."

She smiled, tears in her eyes. Then she pulled him down to her and kissed him, first gently, then tugged at his lip until he opened his mouth to hers. She still loved the feel of his lips on hers and his tongue against hers and she felt herself just letting the sensations wash over her. When he let his hand drift down, she felt that heavy fullness and she knew he could tell she was ready. She made a little noise and then opened herself to him again, sighing deeply as he filled her up completely.

* * *

She ran her knuckles over his back, as he lay on his stomach, his head on her shoulder. She smiled. "You know what?"

He raised his head up and looked at her. She almost laughed at the way his hair stuck up on one side. "What's that, baby?"

She grinned then. "As much as I love this and as much as I don't want you to get out of this bed, I'm hungry." She laughed and he joined in.

He pushed himself up onto his side and pushed back her hair. "Me too," he said with a smile. "I'll go get us something." He rolled over and off the bed and she watched appreciatively as he pulled on his jeans and then a t-shirt. He came back to the bed and leaned in for a kiss. "I'll be back."

She watched him leave and then leaned back against the pillow, closing her eyes. This had been like a dream come true. She thought back to the moment she saw him at the Landslide. She could hardly believe her eyes and for a second had thought she was hallucinating. But he'd been so very real. She thought about what he'd said to her after Vince's funeral - _I don't know why you ain't so pissed at me right now. I let you down so bad_ – and she sighed. Maybe she should have been. He _had_ disappointed her by not coming back when he'd said he would, but she understood. It made her angry again at her father. When Lamar came home, she was definitely going to have it out with him.

The room A/C kicked on then and she shivered. She pushed back the covers and looked around the room. She didn't really want to put all her clothes back on, but then she spied the shirt Deacon had worn earlier, in a pile on the floor where she'd pushed it off of him. She smiled, thinking about getting to undress him, and felt that warm spiral of arousal flowing through her. She picked up the shirt, a plaid flannel shirt, and put it on. It was big on her, even buttoned, and fell past her hips to her thighs. She found her panties and slipped them on, then hurried back to the bed, crawling under the covers.

The bed wasn't as comfortable as her bed at home and the sheets weren't as soft, but it was definitely better than the little cot they'd used in the hunting shack. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Where they were really didn't matter. It was the fact that they _were_ together. Finally. She lifted her arm to her nose and breathed in deeply. The fabric smelled like him and having it on felt like she was wrapped up in his arms. Suddenly she wished she hadn't sent him out, as she missed him terribly, even though he'd only been gone a short while.

She rested her chin on her knees. Tandy had been right – life would be very different for all of them. She could see that Maddie was comfortable with Deacon. She was usually shy around strangers and, although she didn't cry or fuss, she usually would hold on to Rayna closely in those situations. But she had gone to Deacon easily, had not needed Mama as her security blanket, and Rayna felt comforted by that. She could see Deacon beginning to relax around Maddie and she hoped that would continue. More than anything, she wanted the three of them to be a family, wherever that ended up taking them.

She was anxious to learn more about where he'd been and what he'd done while he was away. She could see that he had more than one duffel bag with him, as well as his guitar, so she was curious as to what his plans had been after Vince's funeral was behind him. While she was very angry with her father, she was still grateful she'd been here when Deacon came home. She sat up and stretched out her legs then, sliding down to lay her head on the pillow and wait for Deacon to come back.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

When he opened the door to the room, Rayna leaped out of the bed and ran towards him. He found himself breathing a sigh of relief she was still here. That she was here at all. He set the bag down on the table by the door and scooped her up in his arms, kissing her hungrily.

"I missed you," she said, as he set her down.

He was still holding onto her hand and he looked her over, noticing she was wearing one of his shirts. He smiled. "I like how you look in that better than me," he said, with a laugh.

She held his hand up over her head and twirled around, as though she were a model. "Thank you," she said. "It's very comfortable, I have to say."

He pulled her to him and ran his hand up her leg. "And very revealing," he said, with a wink. She kissed him as she giggled. "I got food," he said. "You still hungry?"

She nodded. "Yeah. What did you get?"

He turned his attention back to the bag. He opened it and pulled out two packages. "A burger for me. Grilled cheese for you." He looked at her quickly. "I thought you liked that." He hoped he'd remembered right.

She smiled. "I do. I can't believe you remembered!"

"I remember everything about you, Ray," he said quietly and she smiled sweetly at him. He reached back in the bag and brought out fries. "And fries."

She laughed and clapped her hands. "You'll share, right?"

He nodded. "Of course."

The room had a love seat in it and they sat down on it and dug into the food. When she was finished, Rayna licked her fingers. "That was fantastic," she said. She sat up on her knees and leaned over to give him a kiss. "Thank you." She bit her lip. "Will you sing for me? One of your songs?"

He breathed in. "You sure?"

She nodded. "I want to hear what you did while you were gone. Please?"

He nodded. He'd do anything for her. "Okay." He got up and picked up his guitar. He settled back on the love seat and she pulled her legs up under her and turned towards him, her hand on his arm. He worked his lip a moment, trying to think of which song to sing. Finally he started to strum the chords for one he'd finished up just a few weeks earlier. He looked at her. "I started this one before I left here. Finished it not long ago." He breathed in. "It was about how you made me feel when everything felt like it was falling apart."

 _Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna break / Sometimes this world gives more than I can take / Sometimes sunshine gets lost in the rain / And it keeps pouring down / It just keeps coming down_

 _This life would kill me If I didn't have you / I couldn't live without you baby / I wouldn't want to /If you didn't love me so much / I'd never make it through / 'Cause this life would kill me / This life would kill me if I didn't have you_

 _You are my heart, every breath I breathe / I'm safe in your arms, you rescue me / When I'm weak, you're strong / If you were gone I don't know where I'd be / You were made for me / This life would kill me If I didn't have you_

He could see the sadness in her eyes then and he leaned over and brushed his lips over hers.

 _I couldn't live without you baby / I wouldn't want to / If you didn't love me so much / I'd never make it through / 'Cause this life would kill me / This life would kill me if I didn't have you / If you didn't love me so much / This life would kill me If I didn't have you_

 _Couldn't live without you baby / I wouldn't want to / If you didn't love me so much / I'd never make it through / 'Cause this life would kill me / This life would kill me if I didn't have you_

She looked like she was holding her breath and then she leaned into him, as he finished, and kissed him gently. He slid his hand over onto her knee and she laid hers on top, leaning her head over towards his. "Thank you," she said softly. "That was beautiful."

He turned his head slightly so he could look into her eyes. "It was true, Ray. You kept me strong. You being there, it was, well, it was all I had then."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm still here," she said.

He closed his eyes for a moment, overcome with all the emotions the song had brought back. When he opened his eyes again, he could see tears on her cheeks. He reached up and brushed them aside with his thumb. "I love you, Ray," he said, his voice hoarse.

She smiled. "I love you too." She looked a little pensive then. "So tell me about your life when you left here. Did it go the way you hoped?"

He sighed and leaned his head on the back of the couch. "Not exactly. I mean, we got gigs and stuff, but nothing like what we wanted. We was in Memphis first and it started out good, but then nothing happened. It ain't an easy life and it's a lotta work to get people to listen. So we went to Nashville."

Her face lit up then and she moved a little closer. "Nashville is the mecca," she said. "Did you get to play in the Bluebird? I've heard that's the place to get discovered."

He smiled at her. "We did. Once. It's hard getting in there." He bit his lip. "I got to do an open mic there by myself too."

Her eyes widened. "Really? How did that happen? I thought Beverly would never let you off your leash."

He looked at her for a moment and then laughed. "I never thought about it like that, but you're right," he said. "And when she found out I done that, she kicked me out."

She looked shocked. "Really?"

He nodded. "She wouldn't sing most of my songs anyway. And she didn't like that I got more notice than we did."

Rayna sat up on her knees then. "What? Somebody was interested in you? Oh, babe, that's amazing!"

He grinned sheepishly and shook his head. "It ain't that big a deal. He thought I could be a songwriter. He didn't think me and Bev could make it."

She put her hands on his arm. "But, Deacon, a songwriter! I already know you're an amazing songwriter. You could make a lot of money doing that."

He shrugged. "I guess. But I want to perform my songs, Ray, not just write 'em for other people. That ain't why I did all that."

"Do you think you might go back? Try again?"

He leaned in and kissed her. "Only if you went with me," he said.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna rested her head on Deacon's shoulder and he put his arm around her. She slid her leg over his as they snuggled in bed. She trailed her fingers over his chest, then turned her head to look up at him. "What were you planning to do after Vince's funeral?" she asked.

He worked his lip a minute, then sighed. "I don't know," he said. "I didn't think that far ahead." He shrugged. "Go back to Nashville, maybe. Call that guy. At least it woulda been some work."

"I think you should," she said.

He frowned. "But you're here. I wanna stay with you. And Maddie."

She smiled. "But I don't want to hold you back," she said.

"I won't go unless you come with me," he said.

She sighed. "But I can't. I can't just leave. What about Maddie?"

"We'll bring her with us."

She put her hand on his chest. "But we don't have anywhere to go there. We can't take a little girl someplace where we don't have a place to live or a way to make money or anything."

He ran his hand over her back. "I know someone who could watch her for us. Or find us someone we could trust to watch her."

She frowned. "Not Beverly," she said.

He smiled. "No, not Beverly."

She looked thoughtful. "I don't know, Deacon. I'm just not sure I could do that."

He knew it would be hard to convince her to leave here, at least right away, so he tried another approach. "What about for a weekend then? A long weekend." He brushed his lips over hers.

She sighed. "Maybe. I'll have to think about that." She turned over then, on her side, and he moved to spoon her. She sighed again. "I really will think about it. I promise."

He kissed her on the shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tight against him. "And I ain't going without you, baby. I promise," he whispered in her ear.

* * *

The sunlight coming through the crack in the curtains woke her up. Deacon was still holding her tight and she smiled to herself. She had waited so long for this, to be in his arms, to be together again. Just then he stirred behind her and nuzzled her neck. She laughed softly and he tightened his arms around her, leaning in to kiss her behind her ear. She giggled. "Oh, babe, that tickles," she whispered.

"How 'bout this?" he murmured in her ear, as he trailed his fingers down her abdomen.

"Oh!" she gasped, as he touched her intimately. "Oh, Deacon," she moaned softly. She turned in his arms to face him.

He smiled at her. "I just can't get enough of you, baby," he said softly.

She brushed his lips with a kiss. "I can't get enough of you either," she said, smiling back at him. He rolled her over on her back and she wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed happily.

* * *

They lay on their sides facing each other and she lazily tapped his chest with the back of her hand. "I could stay here forever, you know," she said, winking at him.

He grinned and then leaned in to kiss her. "I could keep you here forever," he replied.

She sighed, thinking about how wonderful this had been and how grateful she was to her sister for giving her this time. "I guess I need to get Maddie though," she said.

Deacon ran his fingers over her face and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his eyes following his movements. Then he looked at her, his eyes filled with questions. "When's her birthday?" he asked. She knew he was asking about Maddie.

She rested her hand on his chest. "February 8th. I was in labor all day long. She was born around eleven that night. She kept me waiting for her." She smiled.

He grinned. "Sounds like she's feisty, like you," he said.

She made a face. "More like stubborn, like you," she responded.

He ran his hand over her shoulder. "Was she a good baby?" he asked.

Rayna nodded. "She was. Right from the beginning. Which was good, since I had no idea what I was doing." She sighed. "Daddy really helped out, right from the beginning." She laughed at Deacon's skeptical look. "Oh, I don't mean he helped with any baby stuff," she said. "But he hired a baby nurse, for the first couple months, to help me learn what to do. And he did let us live with him." She breathed in. "And he really does love Maddie. I was afraid he'd hold it against her, that we'd had sex and had her so young, but he really never did."

Deacon nodded solemnly. "That's good, I guess," he said. He breathed out. "At least you had a place to go."

She nodded. "Were you in Memphis then?"

He looked thoughtful. "Yeah," he said. "We was in Memphis almost a year. Then we went to Nashville." He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "When did she start walking?"

She widened her eyes. "Oh, wow, she was early with that. In fact, I remember thinking she probably only crawled for a minute and then she was walking. She'd just turned eleven months old, not long after Christmas. She'd been walking around with her fingers on the tables and furniture for a while." She laughed. "She is always in such a hurry." He smiled.

"What about her first words?"

She took a deep breath. "Dada," she said softly.

She could see the tears in his eyes. "Really?" he whispered.

She nodded and then looked at him. "I showed her your picture, all the time. Told her you were her daddy."

He moved closer to her and put his hand on her back, leaning in to kiss her on the forehead. "I don't know what to say," he said.

She looked at him carefully. "Daddy didn't want me doing it, but I had to. I didn't want her to think she didn't have a daddy." She smiled. "I would always tell her you were so amazing. And that you were following your dream, making music." She breathed out. "I always told her one day you'd come back for us. And now, here you are."

He pulled her in for a long kiss and she knew she really did not want to leave his bed.

* * *

Deacon was sitting on the loveseat, running his fingers over the strings of his guitar, when she came out of the bathroom after drying her hair. He smiled at her and she smiled back. She quickly put her clothes back on and then sat next to him on the couch. He turned to look at her and started to sing.

 _Sittin' here tonight / By the fire light / It reminds me I already have more than I should_

 _I don't need fame / No one to know my name / At the end of the day, Lord I pray / I have a life that's good_

She recognized it as the song he'd written back when they'd first met. She didn't remember all the words, but she harmonized a little as he continued to sing.

 _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me, and a family that always calls me home / Four wheels to get there, enough love to share, and a sweet, sweet, sweet song_

 _At the end of the day, Lord I pray / I have a life that's good_

He stopped then and she put her hand on his arm. "Come sing with me next week when I'm at the Landslide," she said.

He frowned. "Ah, baby, that's your gig. I don't wanna step on your toes," he said.

She shook her head. "You wouldn't. I think it would be great if we could do it together. You can play guitar for me and we can sing some of the songs you wrote. We have a whole week to practice." She smiled. "Please?"

He hesitated but then he smiled too. "I can't say no to you," he said. "Not for nothing."

She leaned in and kissed him. "I can't wait," she said.

 _ **The song Deacon sang to Rayna is "If I Didn't Have You" by Thompson Square.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Can y'all handle one more chapter in 2016?**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon doodled on his notebook as he waited on the phone. Rayna would be coming over soon and they would practice a few songs for Friday night at the Landslide. He still wasn't sure he should step in with her, but she assured him she wanted him to. The guitar player she used was a member of another band who played there regularly. He thought about back when he and Beverly had played there. The owner wasn't booking acts as standing acts then. He wondered if it was because Rayna was so good that he'd made that change. He actually found himself getting excited about performing with her. She was definitely going to be the lead and he would back her up. He had wondered if he ought to feel bad about doing this with her instead of Beverly, but he told himself this was different. Better.

"Hello?" came Shelby's voice over the phone.

"Shelby, it's Deacon," he said.

"Well, hey there, sugar," she drawled, her voice sounding friendlier. "You thinking about coming back?"

He worked his lip. "Maybe," he said. "I gotta talk someone into coming with me." He breathed in. "I found her. In Natchez. Turns out she came back."

"Oh, sugar, that's great. Do you think she'll come?" She laughed. "What am I thinking? I'm sure you can sweet talk her."

He cleared his throat. "I don't know about sweet talking. But, I got a favor to ask. Something I think might help convince her."

"What's that?"

"Well, turns out the reason she wasn't here before was 'cause she was having a baby." He breathed out. "I got a daughter."

He could hear Shelby catch her breath on the other end. "Oh, Deacon," she said. "You didn't know, did you?"

"Nah. Anyway, that's the favor. If I bring Rayna, she's worried about someone to keep Maddie if we need it. We don't really know nobody. But I thought you might."

"I do know someone, actually. The perfect person. So y'all just come on back up here, okay? And bring your baby girl."

He nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "You should hear her sing, Shelby," he said. "I want Mr. White to listen to her."

"Bring her, sugar," Shelby said. "I can't wait to meet her."

* * *

When the knock came at the door, his heart beat a little faster. It had just been a few days, but he hated whenever she wasn't with him. He opened the door and she stood there, smiling, holding onto the car seat with Maddie in it. The little girl was sound asleep. He reached for the car seat and then leaned in to give Rayna a kiss. "Hey, baby," he said, unable to get the smile off his own face.

"Hey," she said, following him into the room. He set the car seat on the bed and she dropped the diaper bag next to it, along with her keys. Then she walked into his arms and he held her tightly, kissing her deeply. She slid her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. She leaned into him and he felt her relaxing in his arms. When he let her go, finally, she was breathless. "I'm sorry I'm late," she said. "I wanted her to sleep and she was a little fussy this morning."

He frowned. "Something wrong? Is she sick or something?" Maddie had been a good baby, just like Rayna had said, always laughing and happy. At least for these few days.

Rayna shook her head. "No. I think it's just sort of hot, you know? And it makes her cranky."

He sighed. "I guess I got a lot to learn about her."

She reached her hand up and put it on his cheek and stroked his skin with her thumb, her forehead creased with concern. "You will, babe," she said. "It's all new for you right now. I'll help you."

He nodded and pulled her close. His chest felt tight and he was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to have a panic attack in front of her. He didn't want to scare her or make her think he didn't want this. He was sure it would all get better, but he was still scared. And he wasn't going to let her down. Or their daughter. He concentrated on breathing and finally felt himself draw in a deep breath. "You wanna practice?" he asked, his voice low and a little raspy.

She stepped back and looked at him with worry in her eyes, but he smiled at her. "Let's just sit for a minute," she said. She took his hand and led him over to the loveseat, then sat on his lap, putting one arm around his shoulder and her other hand on his face. She looked at him intently. "Deacon, it's okay to be scared," she said. "I was too. I was terrified, actually. If I hadn't had Belle, I'm not sure I would ever have touched her. I was scared to hold her or give her a bath. I thought I'd drop her or drown her or something. I was so afraid I'd mess up." She smiled encouragingly. "I still am. I wanna be a good mama. But all I can do is just love her. And that's all you have to do."

He felt such love for her right then. It was like she'd looked into his soul and understood him perfectly. Just like she always had. He could feel the tears in his eyes. "I just don't wanna disappoint you, Rayna. It's a big deal. I wanna do it right."

She kissed him then. "Just love her."

He felt the panic threaten to rise up. "I don't want to hurt her," he whispered.

She looked at him, searching his face, it seemed like. She sighed. "I know you're afraid you'll be like your father," she said. "But I don't think you will. Because you know better. And you want to do better."

He nodded. "I do." She smiled at him, then leaned in and kissed him, her hands cradling his head. When they finally came up for air, he breathed out. "God, I love you, Ray."

She smiled. "I love you too." She slid off his lap and went to get his guitar. She walked back over and handed it to him. "We should practice," she said. He smiled and took the guitar from her and she sat down next to him.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

The few days since Deacon had been back in Natchez had been magical. Rayna felt such relief to have him back. It had felt in some ways like he'd never left. They'd fit back into each other's lives almost seamlessly. She still worried a little about how things would go with Maddie, but he seemed to be handling it well. She was happy he would be singing with her at the Landslide. She knew she'd feel more at ease with him next to her.

They were going to do two songs together. One was 'A Life That's Good', the song he'd started writing about her before they'd even officially met. The other was 'Jackson', a Johnny Cash and June Carter duet. Maddie was still sleeping and they sang softly so as not to wake her. "If she gets woken up, she's _really_ cranky," she had told Deacon, with a wry smile.

They had just finished a soft version of 'Jackson', which made her sit back and giggle. That was definitely a song that needed to be sung full on. He grinned at her. "How did you get into doing this?" he asked her, setting aside his guitar.

"Singing at the Landslide?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Just singing. I never heard you sing before."

She leaned on the back of the loveseat, her feet on the coffee table, her head turned towards him. "I used to sing with Mom and Tandy, back when we were younger. Well, I did more singing than Tandy did. But Mom loved music and she loved country music, which is how I learned to love it too. One of my favorite songs was 'Rose Colored Glasses'. It was Mom's favorite and we used to sing it together."

He smiled at her. "I think I remember you telling me that."

She nodded. "When Mom was happy, she would sing. She played guitar too. Tandy let me have her guitar after Mom died, but I'm not very good at it."

He raised his eyebrows. "I can give you lessons," he said, winking at her.

She shook her head and chuckled. "I think I'll let you be the guitar player."

"So how'd you get the gig at the Landslide?"

"Daddy suggested that I sing in the church choir." She rolled her eyes. "I think he was tired of me hanging around the house all the time. But I did it and I enjoyed it. I got a few solos, which was scary at first. I'd really never sang in front of anyone except Mom, Tandy, and Maddie. Then one day, Ben Reid asked me to sing at the Landslide." She could see the question in Deacon's eyes. "His wife is in the choir, so that's how he'd heard me. Anyway, I was totally terrified to do it, but it actually turned out to be fun." She smiled to herself and then looked at him. "I remember thinking it was like I was meant to do it. And that's when I understood how important it was to you." She reached for his hand. "That's when I knew that I could wait for you. You were chasing your dream and I wanted you to do that. Even if it meant I had to wait longer."

He squeezed her hand. "You could do this too, Ray," he said. She shook her head. "Yeah, you could. You really are good. If you'd go to Nashville with me, I could introduce you to the guy I met…."

She shook her head. "I can't, Deacon," she said.

He sat up and leaned towards her. "Yeah, you can, baby," he said earnestly. "I think you got it. You could be a star."

She bit her lip. "I'd be too scared, Deacon. It's one thing to do it at a little bar in Natchez, Mississippi. It would be different someplace like Nashville. That's so far."

"I know you're worried about Maddie," he said, glancing over at the sleeping little girl. "But I got it worked out. I talked to someone I know, Shelby, who said she could help."

Rayna frowned. "Who's Shelby?" She was suddenly filled with anxiousness, wondering if Shelby was a girlfriend. She hadn't given a second's thought to whether Deacon might have had girlfriends or slept with other women while he was gone. But now she felt a knot in her stomach.

Deacon shook his head. "She's a friend. I worked with her at the diner. She's a lot older than us. Just a really nice person. She's good to talk to."

She felt a little better, but not much. "Oh." She took a deep breath. "Did you…did you meet anyone? In Memphis? Or Nashville?" His eyes seemed to fill up with sorrow then.

"Never," he said. "Vince tried to get me to, you know, to help him out when he was trying to get a girl, but all I could think about was you."

She chewed on her lip. He looked so sincere and almost hurt and she knew he was telling her the truth. "Daddy tried to get me to go out with one of his managers, a young guy a few years older than Tandy, but I said no."

He breathed out. "I figured you might have…."

She shook her head, interrupting him. "I never stopped thinking about you, Deacon. I know what you must have thought, when Daddy told you I'd left. But you know now that I didn't leave on my own." He nodded, looking like he was going to say something, but just then Maddie woke up.

"Mama," she cried out. Rayna turned to look at her daughter, who was looking around the room. She got up and hurried over to her.

"Hey, sweet girl," she cooed, picking up the little girl. "Did you have a good nap?" Maddie nodded, sticking her hand in her mouth. Rayna looked at Deacon. "I'll get her changed, okay?" He got up, a look of uncertainty on his face.

"Should I watch?" he asked. "So I can learn?"

That took her a little by surprise, but she smiled. "I think that would be a great idea," she said and he followed her to the bathroom and watched while she changed Maddie on the bathroom counter. She explained what she was doing, the way Belle had explained things to her. He nodded and watched intently. She smiled to herself, wondering if he might regret having asked. But she took it as a good sign that he wanted to be involved.

When Rayna finished changing Maddie, Deacon surprised her by plucking the little girl out of her arms and carrying her to the loveseat. He sat down with her and looked over at Rayna, who followed. When Rayna sat, Deacon shifted Maddie to the space between them. Then he picked up his guitar and laid it on his lap. "You want me to play you a song?" he asked Maddie.

"Yes!" she squealed, clapping her hands and smiling happily.

He smiled at her and then looked at Rayna. He launched into 'Jackson' and they sang it then at regular volume, with Maddie clapping and squealing happily. Rayna watched Deacon as he sang to Maddie and was pleased to see happiness on his face. Things felt like they were falling into place.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

He was trying to learn how to be a dad. He watched Rayna every second she was with Maddie, trying to learn his daughter's habits and interests, what she liked and didn't like, how Rayna handled her moods and needs. One of the things she definitely liked was music. He had to admit that didn't really surprise him, although he couldn't have said why he thought that. But one thing he'd learned in the few days since he'd met her was that when he played his guitar, she was entranced. She would sit and watch him, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. When he'd finish a song, she'd clap her tiny hands and squeal out loud. _More, Daddy, more!_

She'd taken to him right away. Rayna told him that, while she wasn't generally afraid of people she didn't know, she was usually more cautious at first. Kind of the way he was, he'd realized. But she'd come to him easily that first day and she seemed to enjoy cuddling with him. It had taken him a little by surprise to realize how much he loved her already, a love that was different from any other he'd ever felt before. He felt protective about her, but he was also cautious, because he didn't know how his own dysfunctional life might bubble up.

He couldn't remember ever feeling this content though, this complete, as he felt now, sitting against the arm of the love seat, Rayna sitting up next to him with Maddie in her lap. He had his arm around Rayna, playing with a strand of her hair, and it felt like the most mundane, _right_ thing he'd ever done in his life. Everything, since he'd found her at the Landslide, had felt right. But her father's shadow loomed large and he frowned. "When does your father get back?" he asked and he felt Rayna stiffen.

"Not til Friday," she said. She sighed. "I'm really not looking forward to him coming home."

"You gonna tell him?" he asked.

She shifted slightly so she could look at him. She frowned. "Of course I'm gonna tell him. I'm so angry that he lied to you, Deacon. He needs to know he can't get away with that. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

He kissed her temple, moving his arm to encircle her, pulling her closer. He remembered the day Lamar Wyatt had slid into the booth across from him. _If you leave here, don't you come back. Don't test me, boy. I have a lot of power in this town._ He knew that was true. He knew that Lamar lying to him about Rayna's whereabouts was part of his promise that day. He didn't think Rayna's father would take kindly to his being back in Rayna's life, especially now that there was Maddie. He swallowed. Somehow he needed to convince Rayna they'd be better off with a fresh start, away from Natchez.

"It's all gonna work out, babe," she said then, rubbing her cheek against his arm. "We're together now. Nothing's going to change that."

He smiled, rubbing his head against hers. "You're the strongest person I know, baby," he said.

She laughed softly. "Oh, I don't know about that."

He squeezed her closer. "You are. You always knew what you wanted and you never let nothing stand in the way of that."

She turned to look back at him, a smile on her face. "I do remember having to chase you down in the hallway at school," she said, with another laugh.

He laughed too. "Yeah, you did do that."

Maddie laughed then. "Funny!" she cried out and both Deacon and Rayna laughed with her.

He kissed the side of Rayna's face again. _I ain't never letting this go again._

* * *

Maddie was sleeping, so he and Rayna had taken advantage of the time for a little quiet lovemaking. Rayna had started kissing him, shortly after Maddie had gone down for her nap, eventually pulling him over on top of her. "Deacon, I need you," she whispered.

He needed her too, but he was mindful of their daughter being in the room. "What about Maddie?" he whispered back.

She hesitated, then said, "She's asleep. If we're quiet…." She kissed him again, letting him know how much she wanted him. "I just need you, babe."

She had gotten up and turned Maddie's car seat away from them, then hurried back into his arms. Now she was snuggling into him, making those little noises he knew meant she was happy. "I hope we ain't scarred her for life," he whispered into her ear, as he held her close.

She laughed softly. "She's still asleep." She looked up at him. "If you're gonna stay here, maybe we could get a place. And she could have her own room."

He breathed in. "Maybe," he said. He still wanted to take her far away from this place. He'd really had no intention of staying, in this town that held such difficult memories for him, her being the only reason he was still here now.

She looked at him, her brow furrowed with concern. "What's the matter?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing's the matter, baby," he said, raising his eyebrows.

She propped herself up on her elbow and frowned at him. "You're worried about something, Deacon," she said. "I can tell."

He rubbed a hand over his face and smiled. "How can you know that? You a psychic or something?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her.

She swatted at him and made a face. "Stop. I can _read_ you," she said. "I've always been able to read you. You think you're so mysterious and everything, but it's all in your face. And your eyes."

He grinned. "You always been too smart for me, Ray," he said, with a chuckle. Then he got serious. "I'm just worried, baby. When your daddy gets back, he ain't gonna be happy to know I'm here. You don't know what he might do."

She rolled her eyes. "What's he gonna do, Deacon? Ground me? I'm not a little girl. And I'm not his 'minor child' anymore either. I'm a grown up. And a mama. I can make my own decisions about my life and our daughter's life."

He put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "Let me take you away, baby," he whispered against her lips. "We don't gotta stay here."

She sighed, but she didn't fight him. "Maybe," she said, kissing him. "We'll see."

* * *

Maddie was fussy after her nap. At one point, she threw her little pink pony on the floor in frustration. It was the first time he'd seen her not really be happy. He'd taken her from Rayna, trying to settle her down, but she had bowed back in his arms, wailing "no, no" over and over. Rayna tried to take her back, but he had turned away from her, hoping to calm Maddie down himself. He wanted Rayna to know he could do this. But finally he put her down and she had stood at the love seat, burying her little face in the seat, crying.

Rayna looked frustrated, so he picked up his guitar and sat next to his crying daughter. "How 'bout I sing for you, Maddie?" he asked.

"Nooo," she wailed, her voice muffled by the fabric.

He decided to do it anyway, playing a song he'd just written, late one night, about his restlessness and Rayna's pull on him.

 _I don't know why I act the way I do / Like I ain't got a single thing to lose / Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy / I guess that's just the cowboy in me_

 _I got a life that most would love to have / But sometimes I still wake up fightin' mad / At where this road I'm heading down might lead / I guess that's just the cowboy in me_

 _The urge to run, the restlessness / The heart of stone I sometimes get / The things I've done for foolish pride / The me that's never satisfied / The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see / I guess that's just the cowboy in me_

He noticed that Maddie had stopped crying and had lifted her head up. She looked up at him and he looked down at her, smiling as he sang.

 _The urge to run, the restlessness / The heart of stone I sometimes get / The things I've done for foolish pride / The me that's never satisfied / The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see / I guess that's just the cowboy in me_

 _Girl I know there's times you must have thought / There ain't a line you've drawn I haven't crossed / But you set your mind to see this love on through / I guess that's just the cowboy in you_

 _We ride and never worry about the fall / I guess that's just the cowboy in us all_

When he finished, Maddie gasped. "Pretty!" she cried out, clapping her hands, all smiles now. He grinned at his daughter, then looked up at Rayna, who looked relieved.

"That was definitely pretty, babe," she said, with a smile. She came and sat next to him. "You do have a gift. It would be a shame to waste it." Then she reached for his hand and squeezed it.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna walked up the steps to the house, Maddie on her hip and the diaper bag on her other shoulder. It had been a good day overall. She had gone to Deacon's early and they had finalized the set list for the next night. She was excited to have him on stage with her. It was hard to tell for sure, but she had really felt like the two of them clicked on the duets they were performing. And his harmonizing seemed to give a richness to the other numbers she was doing. More than anything, though, was that she was so amazed at the songs he'd written. He really was a talented songwriter. She could understand why the man in Nashville was interested in him. She opened the door and walked into the house, heading for the stairs.

"Where have you been all day, Rayna?"

She froze when she heard her father's voice. He wasn't due back until the next day. She turned to look at him, standing at the door to his study. "Daddy," she said, her voice flat.

"Paw Paw!" Maddie cried, stretching out across Rayna towards her grandfather.

Lamar smiled and started to walk towards her. "Hey, there, Miss Maddie," he said.

Rayna turned her back to him. "No," she said, sharply. "I need to put her down." Then she headed briskly towards the stairs. "I'll be back," she called out over her shoulder. "We have some things to discuss." Her heart was pounding as she hurried up the stairs and back to Maddie's room.

She dropped the diaper bag by the door and then walked over to put Maddie in her crib. Maddie sat down and screwed up her face. "No, Mama," she said petulantly. "No tired."

Rayna walked over to the windows and drew the curtains, darkening the room. "Yes, Maddie," she said, as she did. "You _are_ tired. You need to help Mama out and take a nap."

"No, Mama. Want Paw Paw."

Rayna tensed at the words, but when she turned back, Maddie was laying on her side, her pink pony curled up under her arm. She walked over to the crib and stood there. "I'll be back, sweet girl." She reached over and pulled the light summer blanket up to Maddie's waist. Then she turned on the table fan, hoping to both stir some of the air in the room and create some white noise. Then she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

She stood outside the door and breathed in, trying to quiet her racing heart. She ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips and rubbed her palms over her jeans. She took another deep breath and then she walked down the hall and then down the stairs.

Lamar was back in the study, putting some papers into his briefcase, when Rayna stalked in. He looked up and his eyes narrowed slightly. "So, what was that about?" he asked, his voice chilly.

She lifted her head, trying to project a cool she didn't completely feel. "What was that about? That was about _you_ , trying to keep _me_ – and Maddie – away from Deacon." She could see a little tenseness around his eyes. "I heard he came to Natchez, back when I was down in Biloxi, and you told him I'd left town. Because of him."

He didn't seem rattled at all. He closed his briefcase and then leaned back against the edge of his desk. "And who told you that, pray tell?" he asked.

She smiled at him grimly. "Deacon did, actually." She paused to let that sink in. "He's back, Daddy. And he told me you lied to him."

He smiled coldly. "Oh, he told you that, did he?"

She nodded. "Yes, he did. You told him I wanted nothing to do with him and that I had left town because of him."

He raised his eyebrows. "Which you did, as I recall. Because he left you in an untenable situation."

She stomped her foot. "I didn't leave willingly!" she shouted at him. "You know that. You made me leave. You sent me away like I was nothing to you, just like you did when I was not much older than Maddie is now."

"Oh, is that what you think? That you were nothing to me?" He glared at her. "I know you'd rather delude yourself into thinking I don't care about you, that I've been derelict in my paternal duties, when everything I've _ever_ done has been for your benefit."

She screwed up her face. "What in the world are you talking about? You've never done anything for _my_ benefit!" She balled up her fists and put them on her hips. "Mom took us away from here, and from you, and took care of us. You basically threw me out when I was seventeen because I was pregnant and you didn't want to acknowledge it. The only thing you've ever done for _me_ was really for my daughter."

His eyes were steely and his jaw was hard. "I let your mama leave here, to save face. Her behavior drove her away. She had ruined her reputation and disrespected her marriage." He took a step towards her and she stepped back. "Who do you think paid for that little house in Austin? And the food on your table and the clothes you wore and the nice school you got to attend?"

She swallowed hard. "She had her own money."

"Is that what she told you? Because she had to turn every penny of that over to me. She couldn't be trusted not to spend it flagrantly, chasing after any man who looked nicely at her. I had to control that or the three of you would have been out on the street. And why do you think Eleanor was in Austin all that time?" Rayna felt a cold chill run up her spine. "She was there to make sure your mama didn't run off and leave the two of you all alone." He lifted his finger up to her. "It's always been me, Rayna, taking care of you and your sister. And I sent you to Biloxi to protect _you_. To keep _you_ from being the talk of the town." She could feel herself shaking. "And so now that boy, who isn't fit to even carry your luggage, is back here and nipping at your heels? How can you demean yourself like that? How can throw away everything I've done for you for someone who can't even support you?"

She clenched her fists at her side. "You don't know that!" she shouted. "You don't know him! And I don't need you to take care of me. Or Maddie. We don't need you at all!"

He narrowed his eyes. "You throwing everything away is one thing. But how can you subject little Maddie to that kind of life, Rayna? How can you let him near her? You claim to love her and want what's best for her. I'm not sure I can let you put her in that kind of situation."

She gasped. "She's _my_ daughter! You don't have any claim to her!" She turned and headed towards the foyer.

Lamar trailed after her. "Don't make the mistake of making me an enemy. Then you'll really see what it's like to be on your own!"

She was angry that tears were filling her eyes, but she didn't stop until she got back upstairs to her own room. She could feel herself shaking, both with anger and shock. _I can't stay here. We can't stay here._ She breathed in and out until she felt her heartbeat slow down and the anxiety start to ebb. Then she headed for her closet, pulling out her suitcases and laying them on her bed.

* * *

After she had put the last of the things she wanted to take in her car, Rayna sat down in the den and picked up the phone. She punched in the phone number and then waited for her call to be put through.

"Tandy Wyatt."

Rayna breathed in. "It's me."

"Rayna? What's going on?"

"Are you alone?"

"Yes, of course I'm alone. Rayna, what's going on?"

"I'm leaving." She twisted the phone cord around her finger.

"Leaving? To go where?"

Rayna hesitated. "I don't want to tell you." She sighed. "I don't want you to have to lie to Daddy too much."

"Why would I have to lie to Daddy? Rayna, please tell me what's going on."

Rayna felt tears in her eyes and breathed in, determined not to cry. "I can't stay here anymore. Daddy came home early. Did you know that?"

"Well, I just saw him. I didn't know he was coming in today." She paused. "I guess you told him about Deacon then."

Rayna frowned. "Yes, of course I did. And I told him I knew he'd lied to Deacon about where I was." She swallowed. "He said so many horrible things, Tandy. That Mom didn't really have any money and it was always him paying for things. And he sort of threatened to take Maddie away from me."

Tandy gasped. "Oh, sweetie, no."

"He did. He said he wouldn't let someone like Deacon near her."

"Babe, I'm so sorry. So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to leave. Deacon wants to go to Nashville. I wasn't sure about it at first, but I'm gonna go with him. Maddie and me both. He wants us both to go."

Tandy was silent for a moment. "Oh, sweetie," she said finally. "Are you really sure?"

Rayna set her jaw. "Yes, I'm really sure. And you can't tell Daddy, Tandy. Please promise me."

"I won't." Rayna could hear her sigh. "I'll miss you so much, but I know you love Deacon. I'm going to trust him to take care of you and my niece." Tandy paused. "Babe, please let me know where you are when you get there. I'll be so worried about you."

Rayna breathed out. "I don't know, Tandy. I wish I hadn't told you we were going to Nashville. I don't want you to have to lie to Daddy."

"Rayna, you're my baby sister. I love you with all my heart. You are the most important person in my life and I would _never_ do anything to hurt you. But I can't lose you forever."

Rayna felt the tears welling up again. "You won't lose me." She wiped her eyes. "Thanks for having my back."

She heard Tandy sniff. "Always."

Rayna fidgeted with the phone cord again. "Listen, I need to go. I promise, I'll call you. When we're settled somewhere."

"I love you, Rayna."

"I love you too." She hung up then and wrapped her arms around her waist, bending over. It wouldn't be the first time she'd left behind everything she'd ever known, but hopefully it would be the last.

* * *

When she pulled into the motel parking lot, she was relieved to see Deacon's truck parked in front of his room. She parked next to him and then sat in her car for a few minutes, tears still streaking down her face. She hoped he would let them stay. She finally wiped her eyes and got out of the car. She opened up the back door and crawled over to where Maddie's car seat was. Her daughter reached for her.

"Mama, mama," she said. "Take me."

Rayna smiled. "I am going to take you, sweet girl. We're gonna see your daddy."

"Daddy!" Maddie squealed. Rayna unfastened the car seat straps and lifted Maddie out. She got out of the car and closed the door, then stood for a moment, with Maddie on her hip, and took a deep breath.

She walked up to Deacon's door and knocked. There wasn't an immediate answer and she wondered if he'd gone to get ice or something. She knocked again. Maddie was grabbing at her hair and she was gently trying to disengage her fingers when the door opened. Deacon's hair was messy and she realized he must have been sleeping. He blinked his eyes rapidly at the light.

"Ray?" he said, his voice husky. He reached out and took her arm.

She started to cry again then. "We don't have anywhere to go," she said. "Can we stay with you?"

 _ **The song Deacon sang to Maddie is "The Cowboy In Me" by Tim McGraw.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**~Deacon~**_

After Rayna and Maddie left, Deacon laid down on the bed and fell into a deep sleep. A combination of anxiety and creativity had interfered with his sleep in the week he'd been in Natchez. Every night he worried about being able to be a dad. Plus he had yet to ask Rayna the one question that had been on his mind ever since he'd found about his daughter – should they get married? She hadn't brought it up, never seemed as though she were waiting for him to either, but it seemed logical. But every time he thought about it, he had that same overwhelming sense of drowning, of not being able to breathe.

It wasn't that he didn't love her enough. He loved her more than he'd ever thought it was possible to love someone. She felt like a part of him, like she was in his blood and under his skin and part of his soul. He felt whole and complete when he was with her, empty and yearning when she was not. That was the part that drove the creativity. He stayed up long hours finishing songs he'd started, writing new songs, all about her. About how he felt, how she made him feel, about his fears of disappointing her, and his hopes for the future. It was just that every time he thought too hard about the future, he felt that crushing weight on his chest, the sensation that he couldn't breathe, the feeling that he was dying.

The same way he felt almost every day of his life growing up.

Weariness overtook him though and he sat on the edge of the bed. He reached over and turned out the light and then laid down. _All I can do is just love her. And that's all you have to do._ Her words had been gentle and soothing, just like the touch of her hand on his face as she said them. That was all he had to do right now, for Maddie _and_ for her. The rest would work itself out. He breathed out, feeling the stress leave him. And then he was asleep.

* * *

The sound of knocking pierced the darkness of sleep. He laid on his back, blinking, trying to remember where he was. His heart was pounding with adrenaline, but he couldn't make himself get up off the bed. He concentrated on breathing. After a moment, the knocking came again and he was able to push himself up from the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, then shuffled over to the door.

When he opened it, the sun was sinking in the sky and it hit him right in the face. He could barely make out the person standing in front of him, but instinctively he knew it was Rayna. "Ray?" he rasped out. He reached out for her arm, to pull her away from the light so he could see her clearly.

She had Maddie on her hip and she burst into tears. "We don't have anywhere to go," she cried. "Can we stay with you?"

For half a second he couldn't engage his brain to understand what she was saying, but then Maddie, probably sensing Rayna's obvious distress, started to whimper as well. She reached her little arms out to him. "Dad-dy!" she cried, and instinctively he reached for her, taking her from Rayna and letting her bury her little face in his shoulder.

As he rubbed Maddie's back, he focused back on Rayna. "Come in," he said, his mind clearing, and he took several steps back so she could walk in the room. He closed the door and then turned on the overhead light. She turned back to him, looking distraught, her face blotchy with tears. He frowned with concern. "What's going on, Ray?" he asked.

She looked so small and fragile then. He hadn't seen her look like that since the day he'd left her standing in her driveway, the day he'd driven out of Natchez. He held his arm out and she walked into it, burying her face in his other shoulder. He put his arm around her and felt her shaking with sobs. His throat felt like it was closing. He started to gasp as he tried to breathe. His head seemed filled with fog and, for a moment, he thought he was going to pass out.

He could hear her call out his name, but it sounded like it was far away. He was conscious of the fact that he wasn't holding Maddie anymore and that he was sitting. He put his head down towards his knees and tried to still his mind. "Breathe," he heard her say. He felt her hand on his back, gently rubbing back and forth. "Breathe." His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears and he barely heard her soothing words. But slowly everything seemed to ease and he was breathing again.

When he was finally able to breathe more normally, he sat up. He turned to look at Rayna and he saw fear in her eyes. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face, then looked back at her. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you." He took her hand. "'Course you can stay," he said, breathing in raggedly. "I want you to."

She reached up and smoothed his hair, her eyes darting over his face, worry still in her eyes. "What just happened, Deacon?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. "Beverly always said they was panic attacks. You know, living in that house, with all that, it was hard," he said. "But I'm okay now. I promise." He took her hands. "Everything's just so…."

She squeezed his hands and smiled, but the worry didn't quite leave her face. "I get it. It's all pretty overwhelming. And you didn't get much time to adjust. At least I had nine months to get ready."

He shook his head. "I promise, it ain't that I don't want this." He looked around and his eyes lit on Maddie, sitting on the floor by the bed with her pink pony. That was the thing. He _did_ want this, more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life. "All of this. I do." He frowned then. "But what happened, baby? To _you_?"

She sighed. "I don't want to make things…difficult right now," she said. "I just want you to feel okay first." She bit her lip. "We can stay with Tandy."

"No!" he said firmly, shaking his head. "Giving into this is the worst thing for it, baby. Beverly always told me I just gotta make myself get through it. I'm gonna be fine. I can't give into it. It don't last but a few minutes and I always get through it. _Always._ " He pulled her hands towards him. "I need you with me. After all this, I mean, I can't let you go."

She disengaged one of her hands and lifted it to push his hair back off his forehead. "Are you sure?" she asked.

He breathed in deeply. He suddenly realized what was really going on. "I need to be away from _here_ , Ray," he said finally. "I know it's this place. It ain't you and it ain't Maddie. It's this place."

She nodded. "Okay," she said. "That was what I wanted to tell you too. I'm ready to go with you. Wherever you want. Nashville, wherever. Maddie and me."

Maddie walked over to them then, as she heard her name, and Deacon picked her up, holding her on his lap. "What changed?" he asked Rayna, as he watched her grab their daughter's hands and make a silly face at her.

Rayna looked up at him. "Daddy came home early. I told him that I knew he'd lied to you. And he said some horrible things. But I knew I wasn't going to stay. I think I always knew that, deep down inside. I'm worried about her, though" – she nodded towards Maddie – "and how we'll manage all that on our own, but I think we need a clean break. A fresh start."

He nodded, then leaned down and kissed the top of Maddie's head. "Yeah. We'll work it out though, Ray. I know we can do it." He reached out and pulled at a strand of her hair. "And yeah, y'all can stay here." He smiled at her. "I ain't ever letting y'all go."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

She watched him. For a long time afterwards, she watched him. She wanted to believe him, that the panic attacks were because he was back in Natchez, not because he was scared of a life with her and their daughter. It made sense. Natchez was the place where he'd lived in fear, where he never knew what might happen to him and his family. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to live that way, wondering every day if this would be the day you'd get beaten up. Or worse. So she chose to accept his explanation.

But she watched him.

* * *

He brought in Maddie's things. Clothes and some toys, to keep her occupied. He set up the pack-and-play and Maddie entertained herself there while they sat on the love seat and talked. She held his hands, threading her fingers through his. "You really sure about this?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah, I am. You have a chance to be a songwriter. That's a start."

He rubbed his thumbs over her fingers. "I think you could make it there too, baby."

She shook her head. "I'd be too scared to even try, Deacon."

He leaned in and kissed her. "I thought you told me you was born to do this."

She smiled. "Is that what I said?"

He shrugged and smiled back. "Something like that."

She moved closer to him and kissed him. Then she frowned. "Where are we gonna go, babe?"

He was confused. "Nashville, baby."

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I mean, where will we live? What will we do for money?"

He reached out and ran his thumb over her cheek. "We can find a studio apartment. To start. And I can go back to work at the diner. And I'll talk to Mr. White. I don't know how the songwriting thing works yet, but at least I got some songs already." He sighed. "It ain't gonna be easy, at first, Ray. But we got each other." He glanced over at Maddie and back at her. "Our family."

She looked over at Maddie then, who was chattering to herself as she played with her toys. She looked back at Deacon and smiled, feeling more hopeful than she had just moments before. "You're right," she said. "Our family." She sighed then. "I think we need to do our set at the Landslide tomorrow. I don't want to run out on Ben."

He nodded. "Okay. And then we leave the next day?"

"Yes. On to our new life." She smiled, then leaned in and kissed him.

* * *

Rayna was still wide awake, Deacon's arm wrapped around her. He kissed her lightly on the shoulder and she smiled softly. "I'm sorry if I woke you up," she whispered.

"You didn't," he murmured in her ear. "I been awake."

She put her hand over his, where it rested against her stomach. "This is all I ever wanted, you know?" she said. "I kept trying to tell myself that I had to move on, let you go, get over the hurt, but I couldn't. Even when I was in Biloxi, I saw your face everywhere. You were always in my dreams."

She could feel his breath against her neck. She almost thought he'd fallen asleep and then he said, very softly, "You haunt me when I fall asleep. You're in every breath I breathe."

She felt a little shiver run up her back. "Deacon…." she whispered.

"It feels like a song, baby," he murmured. "What you said too. I keep trying to pretend this ache for you is gonna end."

She turned over to face him, his face shadowed in the dim light. He ran his hand up and down her bare arm. "I need you and you need me," she said. "Your face is everywhere I turn."

He looked at her, then sat up and, pulling her by the hand, they got out of bed and hurried into the bathroom, as he grabbed a notebook and pen from the table. They closed the door and turned the light on, so they wouldn't wake Maddie, and spent the next two hours jotting down words, rearranging them, saying them back and forth to each other, until he finally leaned his head back against the wall and grinned at her. "Baby, we just wrote a song together," he said.

She moved so that she was sitting next to him and they turned to look at each other. "We did?" she asked, feeling like she was buzzing on adrenaline. He nodded. "Oh, wow, Deacon. That felt…well, it almost felt _easy_. Is that how it always is?"

He laughed softly. "Nah, usually it ain't that easy. But sometimes it all comes together that fast. Now we just gotta come up with the music." He took her hand in his. "We could sing it together."

She nodded. "I love that." She leaned over and kissed him, then smiled. "I'll surrender to you, if you'll surrender to me."

He raised an eyebrow. "You think Maddie'll keep sleeping?"

She giggled. "She's always been a good sleeper." She got up and grabbed his hand, then turned out the light. She turned her back to him. "Let's just stay in here," she whispered and she felt the curl of desire explode inside her as he pushed her nightgown up.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon sat on the love seat, the song they'd written in the early hours of the morning in front of him. He had his guitar out, working on the melody. Rayna had taken Maddie with her to get a late breakfast. He stopped for a moment and thought about their songwriting session. It had come together quickly. They had seemed to feed off each other, throwing out lines and words, working and reworking what they wanted to say. Rayna was really good with the rhyming piece, probably because of her poetry writing.

He smiled as he thought about how it had ended. Maybe it was because he'd never really written with anyone before. Or maybe it was because they'd been writing about themselves and their feelings, about their inevitability. Rayna had said as much in the middle of it all. _I felt it the moment I met you, that it was meant to be. We just had to give in to what was supposed to be. To the inevitability of it all._ But it had seemed as natural as writing the words, that when they were done, they celebrated it with sex. Writing together had been a huge turn-on. When they had crawled into bed later, a mere thirty minutes before Maddie loudly declared she needed to be up, he had whispered in her ear. _No matter what we go through, I'm always there._

He looked up when he heard the key in the lock. The door swung open and Rayna walked in, Maddie holding onto her hand. Her little face lit up when she saw Deacon and he set aside his guitar just in time for her to throw herself into his grasp, after shouting "Dad-dy!" He closed his eyes as he held her tightly, wondering how empty his life would have been without her.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna was following Deacon into the Landslide when she felt a hand on her arm. She turned and was face-to-face with Tandy. Her eyes widened. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice low. She looked around anxiously.

"It's just me," Tandy said. "I couldn't let you go without seeing you. I was hoping you'd be here one last time, at least." She pulled Rayna into her arms. After a moment, Rayna let herself relax and hugged her sister back. "It looks like you need someone to watch Maddie too," Tandy whispered into her ear.

Rayna stood back. "You didn't tell Daddy, did you?" she asked.

Tandy shook her head. "No." She bit her lip. "He's angry, Rayna, but he's also sad. I know you don't believe it, but he does care about you."

Rayna frowned. "He has an odd way of showing it."

"It's the only way he knows. You know, he really was worried about you when you were in Biloxi. And he was just afraid you'd do something he thought was foolish. He just wanted the best for you."

Rayna took Tandy's arm and pulled her towards the back of the bar, in the direction Deacon had gone with Maddie. "Deacon is what's best for me," she said tersely. "He just didn't want that to be the case."

"He just didn't want you to mess up your life. Like Mom did."

Rayna stopped and glared at Tandy. "I wasn't going to mess up my life, Tandy," she said. "I know he was mad at me for getting pregnant. But Maddie turned out to be a blessing."

Tandy pulled her into a hug. "I know. And he knows that too." She let Rayna go and looked at her intently. "I'm not here to get you to change your mind. I just wanted to be able to say goodbye."

Rayna took a deep breath. "Then I'm glad you're here," she said. She linked her arm through her sister's. "Come on back."

* * *

Tandy was sitting in a chair with Maddie on her lap. Rayna was brushing her hair, peering into the small mirror on the wall. She pulled it into a side ponytail. Deacon was sitting off to the side, picking out a melody on his guitar. "Do they know it's your last night?" Tandy asked Rayna.

Rayna turned and nodded. "Yeah. Ben's not going to announce it though. I didn't want it to be a big deal." She sat down next to Tandy and then glanced over at Deacon. "Deacon wants me to do some open mics in Nashville."

Tandy's eyes widened. "Really? Do you want to?"

Rayna shrugged. "I don't know. He thinks I'm a lot better than I think I probably am. I mean, I know the people here like me a lot, but, you know, they don't have much to compare me to." She laughed softly. "I do love to sing, though, Tandy. I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed it."

Tandy smiled. "You were always very good. I always thought so."

"Yeah, but that was just singing with Mom. Just messing around kind of stuff. In Nashville, it's serious business." She sighed. "But Deacon met this man and he wants him to listen to me. He offered Deacon a songwriting deal, which I hope he'll take when we get there." She looked over at him and smiled. "He writes such amazing songs, Tandy. We're doing one tonight, but he's written so many." She smiled shyly at her sister. "We even wrote one together. In the middle of the night."

Tandy smiled. "Really?" She winked. "Maybe when you're a big star, I'll hear you do it on the radio."

Rayna shook her head. "Hush. That's just silly. I think Deacon's really the talented one. His songs are really amazing."

Just then Maddie reached her arm out, making a grabbing motion with her hand. "Mama, take me!" she cried.

Rayna took Maddie and gave her daughter a kiss. "Are you gonna sit with your Aunt Tandy while Mama and Daddy go sing?"

Maddie shook her head. "No!" She frowned at Rayna.

Rayna leaned and blew in Maddie's ear. Her daughter squealed with laughter. "Yes, please," she said. "I promise you can hear us."

"No!" Maddie cried again and squirmed out of Rayna's arms. Rayna stood up, but Maddie was too quick, running over to Deacon. "Up-py!" she cried, raising her arms up over her head. Rayna had followed her and took the guitar Deacon handed to her.

Deacon stood up, picking up Maddie as he did. He walked over to Tandy and then leaned into Maddie's ear. "I need you to go to your Aunt Tandy," he said. "Just for a little while."

Maddie threw her arms around Deacon's neck and buried her face in his shoulder. "No," came her muffled cry.

He ran his hand over Maddie's back. "How 'bout you go to Aunt Tandy and when we go home, you can sleep in the big bed with Mama and me?" He glanced at Rayna and her eyes widened.

Maddie sighed. "Yes," she said, and Deacon handed her to Tandy. Rayna shook her head, but she couldn't help but be impressed with how quickly he'd been able to influence their daughter.

Rayna was still holding Deacon's guitar as she ran her hand up his back. "It's time, babe," she said. She smiled a little wistfully. "First and last time on stage with me," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe not," he responded. He took the guitar from her and she started out the door.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

"Deacon," Tandy called out, as he was following Rayna out of the office. He turned. "Take good care of them. Both of them."

He took a step back towards her. "I will," he said. He looked down at Maddie briefly, playing in her pack-and-play.

She breathed in and he thought he caught a hint of tears in her eyes. "She's so strong, you know. She's had to learn to be. But she still has a soft heart and she loves so deeply and completely. And I know she loves you."

He nodded. "I love her too."

She smiled. "I know. I've seen how you look at her and I've seen how you are with Maddie. I believe you love them both. I'm just asking you to not hurt her. Don't disappoint her."

He breathed in. "I ain't planning to, Tandy. Everything I do, it's for her." He swallowed hard. "She's the best thing I got in my life. From the day I met her, she's been the best." He breathed out and then he smiled. "I knew, from the moment I met her, that we were meant for each other. I'll take care of her forever. You can count on that."

She reached out and squeezed his arm. "I _am_ going to count on that. Be happy. Both of you." Then she looked down at Maddie, happily playing with her pink pony, and laughed softly. "All three of you." She looked back at him. "She's my baby sister. And the most important person in my life. I'm giving her to you to love and care for the way I would."

"I won't let you down," he said. "I promise."

* * *

Being out on stage with Rayna was amazing. Instead of just standing behind her, the way the other guitar player had, he would lean into her, bumping her shoulder or getting close as he harmonized with her. Several times they would sing back to back or she would drape her arm over his shoulder. They finished the set with 'A Life That's Good' and that was when the experience turned magical. He couldn't tear his eyes away from hers and before long it felt like everything and everyone around them had faded away.

When they had finished he leaned in and kissed her and he saw her blush. "You were amazing, baby," he whispered.

"You made it amazing," she said. The crowd reaction was overwhelming and she turned back to the mic and raised one hand. "Thank y'all so much!" she cried. "We're gonna take a quick break and then be back for the nightcap." He set his guitar in the stand and then she grabbed his hand and they headed for the bar.

He took a swallow of the water the bartender handed him and then grinned. "Damn, baby. That was unbelievable."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled happily. "I didn't know what to expect, but you're right. It _was_ unbelievable. That felt like, I don't know, like it was meant to be."

He breathed in and reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. "It never felt like that with Beverly." He leaned close to her. "I think Mr. White is gonna wanna hear you."

She shook her head, but she smiled a little shyly. "I don't know about that. But I do know it felt so easy with you."

He took another swallow of water. "Well, we'll just have to do it again."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Deacon changed Maddie into her pajamas for bed. The little girl was barely awake and Rayna thought she'd probably go down in her pack-and-play without a fight, but Deacon was determined to make good on his promise. Rayna decided to influence how long Maddie stayed and made a great show of undressing and gave Deacon a long look at her naked body, before she slid on her nightgown. She could tell, by the look on his face, that she'd made her point.

When she got into bed, Maddie snuggled into her and fell asleep almost immediately. She looked up at Deacon. "How long are you going to let her stay?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged and grinned. "A little bit." He reached out and lightly stroked Maddie's hair. "It ain't all bad, is it?"

She smiled. "I guess not. But I don't want it to become a habit, though."

He put his hand on her cheek and leaned in for a kiss. "Message received," he said. He glanced back down at Maddie. "She don't seem scared of nothing."

Rayna smiled. "She's pretty fearless, but dogs scare her. And, most of the time, new people." She gave him a knowing look. "But I've been lucky."

He smiled. "She's like her mama," he said. "You're pretty fearless too."

She ran her fingers down his arm. "She's stubborn, though. Like her daddy."

"I just know what I want." He let his hand drift down from her cheek, tracing a line from her neck down to her breast. Rayna felt the snake of desire curl up deep in her core. He let his finger trail down to the underside of her breast, his eyes not leaving hers, and she felt her breathing quicken. He breathed in and then rolled off the bed. He picked up Maddie and took her over to the pack-and-play, carefully laying her down. When he turned back and got into bed, Rayna had already taken off her nightgown and it lay in a puddle by the side of the bed.

* * *

Rayna walked out of the motel room with Maddie in her arms. Deacon followed her, pulling the door closed. She stopped, though, as she noticed the black Cadillac blocking her car. She felt a cold chill wash over her as she watched the door open. She could feel Deacon behind her, his hand laid gently on her hip. She wasn't sure what to expect when she saw her father get out of the car.

Lamar only took a few steps towards them. Rayna couldn't read his face. "So, I see you're going through with this. You're going to cast your lot with him." Rayna didn't respond. "I think you're making a mistake, but, as you keep pointing out to me, you're old enough to make your own decisions."

"Paw Paw!" Maddie called out, reaching out for her grandfather.

Lamar walked closer and Rayna turned, keeping Maddie away from him. Lamar made a face. "I'm not going to take her from you," he said, his voice steely. "I'd just like to talk to my granddaughter."

"You can do it from there," Deacon said, his voice firm.

Lamar lifted his hand and pointed at Deacon, a sneer on his face. "You're the one who turned her head, turned her away from her family."

"That's not true, Daddy," Rayna said. "And I didn't turn away from my family. You just forced me to make a choice and I chose _this_ family. Now please go and leave us alone." At that moment, she was grateful they'd packed up their vehicles the night before. All that was left was to put Maddie in her car seat. She couldn't tell if Lamar knew they were leaving, but she hoped not.

"You're making a mistake, Rayna," Lamar said.

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm doing the most right thing in my life, Daddy," she said.

Just then Deacon stepped in front of her. "Rayna, go back in the room," he said. He reached in his pocket and held out the key.

She hesitated. This felt like her battle and she didn't want him caught in the middle. "Deacon…."

He frowned and shook the key at her. "Take it, Ray," he said.

Maddie started to fuss and so she took the key. She looked at her father, his face like a thundercloud, then at Deacon, his face filled with determination. She turned to the door and fumbled a second with the key and then finally got it in the door. She walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Paw Paw," Maddie said sadly.

Rayna pushed her hair off her face and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, baby. We can't see Paw Paw right now." She was on edge, wondering what was happening outside. She was glad she had the diaper bag with her as she set Maddie down on the floor and pulled her pink pony out. Maddie's sad face turned into smiles and she started to make the stuffed animal 'walk' across the floor.

Rayna sat on the edge of the bed, watching Maddie, waiting for Deacon to knock on the door. She could hear raised voices but no words. She tried to keep her mind on Maddie, but her nerves were jangling and she could feel herself shiver with anxiety. She finally got up and walked over to the window, sliding the curtain back just enough so she could look out. Deacon was standing maybe a foot away from Lamar, his back to her. She could still hear their voices but not the words, although she heard her name and Maddie's.

She felt sick to her stomach as she watched. Lamar looked so angry and he was shaking his hand in front of Deacon. Deacon looked tense, his hands on his hips, occasionally jabbing a finger towards Lamar. She hoped it didn't end up as a fist fight. Finally she saw her father turn and walk back to the car. He gave Deacon a last angry look, then got in, and the Cadillac glided away. Deacon stood there for several minutes, before he turned.

She dropped the curtain and opened the door. He looked worn out and she grabbed his hand, pulling him in. He wrapped her up in his arms for a moment, then said, "Let's go."

She stepped back and looked up at him. "What did he say?"

He shook his head. "Let's just go, Ray. I'll tell you later. I want us to get out of here in case he decides to come back."

She nodded. "Okay." She hurried over and picked up Maddie. Deacon picked up the diaper bag and they left the room. She got Maddie strapped into the car seat and took the bag from Deacon, dropping it in the back next to Maddie. When she turned back, he pulled her into a hug.

"Be careful," he whispered. "Stay close. We'll stop in Tupelo." He looked down at her and then kissed her. "Be careful," he said again.

"I will," she said. "You too." She got in the car then and he shut the door. She waited for him to get in his truck and pull out and then she pulled in behind him.

It was a long time before she stopped looking in her rear view mirror.


	21. Chapter 21

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon could feel the tension start to fade as they headed farther and farther on the Natchez Trace, going towards Nashville. When they first pulled out of the motel parking lot, he'd had that old familiar sensation that there was a vise around his chest. He was gasping for breath and was glad Rayna wasn't in the truck with him. But as he drove past the outskirts of town, he felt his chest ease and his breathing went back to normal. He breathed out in a rush and checked the rearview mirror. He could see Rayna behind him and he smiled to himself. _This is it. We're headed down this same damn road, but in the right direction now._

He felt good about this. It would be hard, he knew. It was what he'd told Rayna. They'd struggle for a while, but he was hopeful that the songwriting thing might pay off. He'd been serious when he'd suggested Rayna try her hand at performing. Being on stage with her at the Landslide had just convinced him that she had something special. She still seemed a little skittish about it, but he was hoping that once they got to Nashville, it would change her mind.

He checked the rearview mirror again, something he would do until they got to Tupelo, and he thought about the confrontation with Lamar Wyatt. He shook his head, thinking that, in his own way, Lamar was just as much a bully as his own father had been. Only Lamar did it through controlling people and making threats.

 _When Rayna had gone into the motel room with Maddie, he'd turned back to Lamar. "You need to let her go," he said. "She done made her choice. Least you could do is respect it."_

 _Lamar raised his eyebrows. "It's not just Rayna who's making an unwise choice, boy. She's bringing her daughter down with her."_

 _Deacon had felt the anger rise up in his throat. "She's my daughter too."_

 _Lamar had laughed at that. "Only because the two of you were careless. It's not like you've been around here to even be a father." He looked around. "Maddie deserves more than living in a rundown motel. If my daughter wants to make that choice for herself, that's her decision, but my granddaughter shouldn't suffer because of that."_

" _She ain't suffering. She's happy and taken care of." He raised his eyebrows. "And I could remind you that if you'd just told me, when I came back here, about Rayna being pregnant, I'd have been here to be a father."_

 _Lamar stepped closer and raised his hand as though he might strike out. Deacon kept a wary eye on him, ready to step back if he needed to. "But I told you not to come back here. I told you to leave my daughter alone. That she was moving on with her life. She deserves better than this."_

 _Deacon breathed in. "How would you know? You never talked to her, never asked her what she cared about. What mattered to_ _her_ _."_

 _Lamar's eyes narrowed and his face turned red. "How dare you!" he shouted. "You were just someone from the wrong side of town who wanted to defile her. Disrespect her. You were hoping for a handout, which you will not ever get from me!"_

 _Deacon put his finger close to Lamar's face. "I don't want nothing from you!" he shouted back. "_ _She_ _don't want nothing from you! All we want is to raise up Maddie and be together."_

 _Lamar shook his head. "You can't take care of them in the way they're accustomed to. I at least can take care of them properly." He smiled then, a nasty smile. "You want to call Maddie your daughter. Think about this. One day she will turn on you the way Rayna has turned on me. She'll throw away everything you ever gave her, everything you ever did for her, for someone who's not worthy of her."_

" _That ain't gonna happen. I ain't gonna turn my back on her, abandon her, keep her at arms' length. I'll be there for her. Every damn day. Maybe if you'd done that with Rayna, she wouldn't turn away from you now." He stood there, his chest feeling tight. He didn't want to have a panic attack in front of Lamar Wyatt and he forced himself to breathe. "Why don't you go on?" he said. "Let her be."_

 _Lamar stood there, just staring at Deacon, and finally he breathed out. "This isn't the end," he said, his voice low and menacing. "You can count on that." Then he turned and walked over to his car. He got in the back seat and then the Cadillac drove off. Deacon stood and watched, making sure he kept going, forcing himself to breathe in and out._

He looked back in the rearview mirror. She was still there. He suddenly wanted to cry, just thinking about it. About her. All he wanted to do was take care of Rayna and Maddie. He surely hoped Lamar wasn't right.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Maddie had settled down about the time they drove across the city limits line and Rayna breathed a sigh of relief. As much as she wished she were in Deacon's truck with him, she was actually glad they were taking her car to Nashville. She was already worried about how they were going to make ends meet, where they would live, how they would manage in a strange city. It wasn't really a strange city to Deacon, of course, but it was to her. And being able to get around if she needed to felt important somehow.

With Maddie quiet, she could sit back and enjoy the drive. She found herself wondering if Deacon was keeping an eye on her in his rear view mirror, so she raised her hand and wiggled her fingers in a wave. When she saw him raise his hand in response, she smiled. They were taking the Natchez Trace as far as Jackson, where they'd pick up the highway. She loved the peacefulness of the Trace. When she and Tandy had first come to Natchez, after Virginia died, Tandy had taken them out on a drive and Rayna had been blown away by the tranquility of it. It was the same road they'd taken when her sister had taken her to Jackson, that weekend she'd confirmed she was pregnant. She remembered staring out the window at the lushness of the landscape, wondering what her life would be like after that.

And now she was doing it again, wondering what it would be like to live in Nashville, far away, again, from what she knew. Her life had been such a series of ups and downs, highs and lows, ever since her mom had died. She was looking forward to a more even keeled life, or at least she was hopeful they would have that. She felt anxious though, not for the first time. This was a huge change, for all of them.

She worried about where they would live, how they would survive. Deacon had called his friend Shelby and she had offered to let them stay with her for a few days until they could find a place to live. And even though Deacon had told her about Shelby and didn't seem at all interested in her as anything other than a friend, she was still anxious to see this woman for herself. She knew Deacon was going back to working at the diner where he'd met Shelby, but money would be tight. She wanted him to call the man who'd been interested in his songs, but she had no idea how that worked and he didn't really either.

She wasn't sure if she should plan to find a job or something else. Shelby had offered her mother as a caregiver for Maddie, but Rayna had never really left her daughter with anyone else since Belle left and the thought of it made her nervous.

She also was excited, deep down inside, to be going to Nashville. The heart of country music, the mecca for everything country. She remembered her mother talking about going to Nashville when she was a girl and how much she'd wanted to pursue a dream of being a country music artist. But Virginia came from elite stock and being a singer just would not do, in those days, and so her dreams had gone unfulfilled. She had married Lamar Wyatt instead and lived an unhappy life from that day until the day she had done what Rayna was doing now – packed up her car and her daughters and headed for what she hoped was a better life.

It took Rayna's breath away, in that moment, to realize just how much her life was following the path her mother's had set before her. She considered how Virginia Wyatt might have felt, making the choice she had to leave her husband and her marriage behind, to go chase after…what exactly? She thought about what her father had said to her – _Who do you think paid for that little house in Austin? And the food on your table and the clothes you wore and the nice school you got to attend?_ It had surprised her to hear that. She wasn't at all sure he had actually let her mother leave, as he'd said, but as she thought more, it might have explained the reasons Virginia never asked for a divorce and rarely let Lamar see his daughters. He was certainly a dealmaker and perhaps it was the deal he had made.

She didn't want to think about her father anymore and forced herself to concentrate on the landscape outside her window. It was a hot day or she would have opened the window and let the air in. The sun was bright and white, even when filtered by her sunglasses. She thought back to the day she'd met Deacon. Actually, the first time she'd ever seen him, sitting in the school cafeteria. She'd felt his eyes on her and when she'd turned to find the gaze she could sense, she'd had the feeling of being a moth drawn to a flame. She smiled to herself, thinking about the look on his face, a mix of awe and desire that had made her heart beat faster.

He still made her heart beat faster, every time she looked at him. Every time he touched her skin. Every time his lips met hers. Every time he was inside her, making her feel like they were two necessary parts to a puzzle. She thought about the look on his face, when she'd turned to face him at the Landslide, just over a week earlier. That look of wonder and joy and surprise and need, all mixed up together. She had felt drawn to him then, again like a moth to a flame. Maybe she should have been hurt or angry or dismissive with him, but she could no more turn away than she'd been able to that first day.

He was her one true love. She knew that with a certainty she would never have expected to have at almost twenty years old. She knew she would love him for the rest of her life. That she would feel the same connection at ninety-six that she'd felt at sixteen.

As they made the transition, in Jackson, to highway from the Trace, she raised her hand again and waved. She felt an incredible bliss roll through her when he raised his hand in return.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

They arrived in Tupelo around one o'clock. They had picked up the Trace again in Mathison, after getting off the highway. He pulled into a barbeque restaurant he'd stopped in on the way down from Nashville that he knew was quiet and inexpensive. He jumped out of the truck and watched Rayna park next to him. When she got out of the car, she looked frazzled and he frowned. Then he could hear Maddie. "Out!" she cried, clearly frustrated.

Rayna looked at him and made a face. "She's been horrible for the last half hour or so," she said, sounding irritable.

He opened the back door and Maddie turned to him, her little face blotchy, as she held her arms out. "Want out!" she cried petulantly. "Out!"

He reached in and unfastened the car seat straps, pulling her out. When he put his arm under her bottom, he made a face. "She's wet," he said to Rayna.

Rayna raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, she is. She's probably been sitting in it for a while before she decided to get cranky about it."

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry, baby. Should we have pulled over before?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, we probably should have. But it's not your fault. You wouldn't have known. And I didn't realize it was this far or I'd have said something before we left." She came around and took Maddie from him. "I'll take her in and get her changed and into some dry clothes." She looked at his arm then and winked. "You should probably change your shirt too," she said, as she nodded towards his arm.

He grinned sheepishly as he looked down to see the damp stain on the sleeve of his denim shirt. "I guess you're right." She waited for him while he reached into his duffle in the truck for a clean shirt and then she followed him into the restaurant.

* * *

He was waiting in a booth when Rayna and Maddie came out. He noticed Rayna had changed her shirt as well, wearing a pretty flowered sleeveless top, her hair pulled up and off her face into a ponytail. He thought she looked so pretty and he could feel his heart beating faster, like it always did when he would see her for the first time. She had Maddie by the hand and he could see that she was in a completely different outfit as well, looking much happier.

They were almost to the table when Maddie pulled her hand free of Rayna's and ran to him. "Dad-dy!" she squealed, as she ran to the booth. She stopped when she got to the seat and slapped her hands down on it. "Eat!" she cried, making a face.

He reached for her, laughing. "Yeah, baby girl, we'll eat." He looked up to see Rayna bringing over a baby seat and putting it at the end of the booth. "Look, sweetie," he said, turning Maddie in his arms. "Mama brought you a chair." Maddie squealed and clapped. Rayna took her from him and settled her in the chair, then sat down opposite him. She reached for his hands across the table and he took them.

"How far is it from here to Nashville?" she asked.

He breathed in. "To Shelby's house, maybe four hours or so."

She made a face. "Any chance we could stay here tonight? Someplace cheap?" She glanced over at Maddie. "I think she needs a break."

He smiled. "I think _you_ need a break." She smiled back at him. "Yeah, we can do that."

"Thank you, babe," she said. Just then the server came over to take their order.

* * *

Rayna put a sleeping Maddie down in the pack-and-play and then walked back over to sit down next to Deacon. He thought she looked worn out as well and he put his arm around her. She nestled into his side and he ran his fingers over her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "You wanna take a nap too, mama?" he asked.

She turned her head to look up at him and smiled. "You wouldn't mind?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Maybe we could all use one," he said. She sat up and he stood and took her hand, pulling her up. He led her to the bed and, when she sat on the edge, he knelt down and took off her shoes. She slid back and then stretched out on top of the bed covers. He sat and took off his boots and then slid up next to her. She turned onto her side and rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. "You doing okay, baby?" he asked, stroking her arm. He knew it had been an emotional day.

She didn't answer right away. Then she sighed. "Yeah, I am."

"You ain't sorry you're doing this?"

She looked up at him and frowned. "Of course not," she said. "Why would you ask that?"

He took a deep breath and then breathed out slowly, looking at the ceiling. "It just all happened so fast. You changed your mind real quick."

She ran her fingers over his chest. "I know." She was quiet for so long, he thought she might be asleep. He looked down at her. "I know I said I wasn't ready," she said finally. "But I think it was probably inevitable. Once Daddy found out you were back and we were together, he would have made our lives miserable in Natchez."

"But you're scared, ain't ya?"

She sighed. "I am." She looked up at him. "Not about being with you. That part I'm completely good with. It's starting all over again." She traced figure eights on his chest. "If it were just you and me, it would still be scary, but I never would have given it a second thought. But we have a little girl to think about too. And that's what made me so unsure. It's still the part that worries me."

He pulled her in close. He wished he had a good answer for her. He understood her fear, but he knew he couldn't have done this without both her and Maddie being with him. "I get it, Ray," he said softly.

She propped herself up on her elbow then. She reached out and smoothed his hair back off his forehead. "But I've never let a little fear get in my way. And I'm not now. And I know how much you want this. You've worked hard for it and I'm gonna support you." She smiled. "We're gonna do it together."

He looked deep in her eyes and he could see the fear, but he could also see the love. He knew he could do anything as long as he had her. He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her down for a long kiss.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

She was surprised at how anxious she felt the closer they got to Nashville. It was a mix of apprehension and excitement. It was the apprehension she was the most surprised by. She hadn't expected all the emotions she had felt over the two days. She hadn't really lived in Natchez that long, just over three years, not counting the time she'd lived there as a baby. But it had been home for a time and now she felt like she was running, although she couldn't quite articulate from what.

It had felt a lot like it had when her Aunt Eleanor had taken her to Natchez from Austin. She began to realize she was a person who liked roots, who felt comforted by a sense of place. And Natchez had become that sense of place for her, even as short a time as it was. The fact that she'd endured as much heartbreak and upheaval as she had there didn't seem to change the fact that she was running from it. As much as she wanted this, she also felt like something she couldn't explain was trying to hold onto her. She'd shed many tears on the drive the day before, but she was determined not to give into that anymore.

She'd decided that going to Nashville with the love of her life and their daughter was better than going to Natchez to live with a father she hardly knew, but it was all the unknowns that made her apprehensive. As they crossed over the Tennessee line, she took a deep breath and made herself focus on what was ahead instead of all that she'd just left behind. She thought about everything she and Deacon had talked about, late into the night.

 _She had fallen asleep while Maddie was napping and had only woken up when the little girl announced she was ready to get out of the pack-and-play. She was glad they had decided to stop and stay the night. It would give them a chance to talk more about the road ahead, both literally and figuratively._

 _After they'd eaten, played with Maddie for a while, and then gotten her down for the night, Deacon had pulled out a map so they could look at the route. She had leaned against his shoulder as he'd spread it out on the bed. "I just don't want to go on the Trace, babe," she said. "It's pretty and all, but we need to have someplace to stop along the way, you know?"_

 _He nodded. "Yeah, I get it." He frowned as he ran his finger over the map. "So, what about this? We go up 45, then pick up 22, and that takes us to I-40." He looked at her. "Plenty of places to stop if we need to."_

 _She nodded. "Okay. Where does Shelby live from where we're coming in?"_

" _Cross town." He grinned. "We'll drive right by downtown and you can get your first look at Nashville, baby."_

 _She smiled back, little butterflies chasing themselves in her stomach. It seemed hard to believe this was really happening. "I can't wait," she said, forcing a bravado she wasn't sure she completely felt yet._

 _He looked at her, then put his finger under her chin, lifting her face up. He stared into her eyes, then leaned down to kiss her. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he whispered against her lips._

 _She smiled and kissed him back. He knew her so well, knew how she was feeling. She felt better knowing they were doing this together. "I know," she said, taking a deep breath. "I don't mean to be a scaredy-cat."_

 _He put his hand on her cheek and rubbed it with her thumb. "Baby, I'm scared too," he said._

 _She moved away from him then. "No, you're not," she said, with a frown. "You've got a great future, Deacon. All you have to do is say yes to Mr. White."_

 _He frowned at her. "Don't mean I ain't scared, Ray. I gotta make sure I can take care of you and Maddie. What if it don't work? What if I fail? What if dragged you both with me and I can't do it?"_

 _She looked away for a moment and then finally she sighed. She turned back to him. "I guess I didn't think about that," she said._

 _He scooted over to her. "Baby, there's no guarantees on anything. You know that," he said earnestly. "We won't know nothing til we get there. And I don't wanna disappoint you."_

 _She took his hands in hers and smiled at him encouragingly. "I won't be disappointed in you, Deacon. I know you'll do your very best. And I think you'll be great. You write beautiful songs. You'll keep writing beautiful songs."_

 _He got up from the bed and went and picked up his guitar. He came back to sit next to her, resting the guitar on his lap. "I figured out the music for our song," he said with a smile. "You wanna hear it?"_

 _She smiled. "Yeah, I do."_

 _He began the chords and then started to sing._

 _You haunt me when I fall asleep / You're in every breath I breathe / I still hear your footsteps down the hall…._

He'd done a great job with it. She knew it was a great song. She also knew he wanted them to perform it together and she wasn't so sure she could do that. She had so many mixed feelings about performing. She loved it, had felt so comfortable doing it, but it had been a way to escape, and she wasn't at all sure she could explain that to him.

* * *

Rayna felt like her stomach was all tied up in knots as she followed Deacon down the residential street. The houses along the road were small, bungalows and ranch houses, but it all looked cozy and homey. Deacon pulled up along the curb in front of a little wood and stone bungalow and she pulled in behind him. He jumped out of his truck and hurried back to her car, opening her door for her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah," she said, taking a deep breath. She smiled. "We're here."

He grinned. "Yeah, we are." He leaned in and kissed her. Then he opened the back door and reached for Maddie. When he had her on his hip, he looked at her. "We're here, Maddie."

"Here!" she cried, raising up her arm. She wriggled in his arms. "Down, Daddy." He carried her to the sidewalk and then put her down, grabbing her hand. Rayna came up on the other side and took Maddie's other hand. He looked at her. "Let's go meet Shelby," he said.

They walked up the walkway and then the steps to the front porch. Just as they stepped onto the porch, the front door opened and an attractive blonde woman stepped out, a huge smile on her face. Rayna realized immediately that this was Shelby and that Deacon had told her the truth, that she was probably old enough to be a mama to either one of them, and she could feel herself start to relax.

"You're here!" the woman cried out, her arms spread wide. She immediately headed for Rayna and enveloped her in a warm embrace. "You must be Rayna," she said and Rayna nodded. "I'm so glad to finally meet you. I'm Shelby."

Rayna smiled. "Hey, Shelby. Thank you so much for putting us up for a few days."

Shelby waved her off. "Not at all. I'm glad we can help." She turned her attention then to Maddie, who had dropped Deacon's hand and had put her own in her mouth. "And this must be your little girl." She looked back up at Rayna, then Deacon. "She's precious."

Rayna picked up Maddie and balanced her on her hip. "Sweet girl, this is Shelby," she said. "Can you say 'hey'?"

"Hey," Maddie whispered, then buried her face in Rayna's shoulder.

Rayna smiled apologetically. "She's always a little shy around new people."

Shelby waved her off. "No problem. Plus she's probably tired from the long drive. Why don't y'all come on in? I've got some sweet tea already made and some cookies for Miss Maddie." She turned and walked back into her house.

Rayna took a deep breath. Deacon put his hand on her back and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "It's gonna be fine," he whispered. She looked up at him and she could see the look of hopefulness in his eyes, mixed with his desire for her to be okay. She smiled at him and nodded and then followed Shelby into the house.


	22. Chapter 22

_**~Deacon~**_

Deacon was exhausted. He was struggling to keep his eyes open as he waited for Rayna. Maddie had taken immediately to Shelby's mother, who had insisted that Maddie sleep in her room that first night. Rayna had insisted, though, on getting Maddie ready for bed and putting her down, so he forced himself to sit up in the bed in the guest room, trying to keep from falling asleep. Finally the door opened and Rayna slipped in. "She asleep?" he asked.

She ran over to the bed and jumped on top of it, then crawled over to curl up against him. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her. "Yes," she said. "She was so tired, I think she fell asleep before I even put her in the crib." She smiled at him. "You look tired too."

He smiled and nodded. "I am. But not too tired for you, baby," he said, sliding his hand up under her t-shirt. She giggled as he slid his hand around to her back, pulling her down for a kiss. He loved the feel of her skin and the taste of her lips. She put her arms around his neck, draping herself over him, and he slid his other arm around her. "Mm, baby, you taste so good," he murmured against her lips.

She raised her head up. "Now that we're here, will you call Mr. White?" she asked.

He put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her back down to kiss her. "Already did," he said.

She popped her head up again, a look of surprise on her face, and he smiled at her. "You did? When?"

"When you was taking Maddie for a walk before."

She smacked him on the shoulder and made a face. "When were you gonna tell me?"

He laughed. "I just did."

"Oh, you're so bad, Deacon Claybourne," she said, laughing back at him.

He rolled her over underneath him. "You really think so?" he asked, smirking at her.

She smirked back. "So what did he say?"

"I'm meeting him tomorrow." He planted a kiss on her nose. "But I don't wanna talk about him right now." He brushed her lips with another kiss. "I wanna talk about how beautiful you are and how much I love you and how much I wanna make love to you right now." She giggled again and ran her hands down his back. When she reached his ass, her eyes widened. He raised an eyebrow. "I think you got too many clothes on," he said.

She smiled. "I think you're right." He rolled away and she got up and undressed, dropping her clothes on the floor next to the bed. Then he held the covers up and she slid in beside him, rolling towards him and putting a hand on his chest. "I love you," she said, her face lighting up.

"Love you," he said. His heart swelled with love for her as he looked into her eyes. She still had that same wide-eyed innocence she'd had when he'd first met her. He put his hand on her cheek, running his thumb over the freckles sprinkled across her nose, then sliding a strand of hair behind her ear. He bit his lip, thinking how much he loved her, how much he'd missed her, and how glad he'd found her again. And that she'd welcomed him back. "I'm so glad you came here with me, baby," he said.

She smiled and reached up to run her fingers through his hair. "Me too." She searched his eyes. "I know I didn't want to at first, but I think I was just a little afraid. But I'm glad I changed my mind. I'm so excited to be starting this life with you. Here." She lifted her head up and kissed him. "I think we're gonna have a great life."

He smiled. "Nashville is the place for dreams to come true, Ray. All our dreams." He moved so that he was lying on top of her, letting her know how much he wanted her.

She blushed just a little. "I think we should stop talking now."

He chuckled softly and then leaned down and kissed her deeply. He moved his hands to cup her shoulders, feeling her skin against his, her breasts pressed tightly against his chest, her legs tangled with his. He felt her hands move over his back, then her fingers trailing over his skin lightly. She untangled her legs from his and drew them up on either side of him, sliding her hands down to press him against her.

He moaned deep in his throat and then he pushed inside her and heard her little sound of satisfaction as she moved against him. It was hard to believe it was just a little more than a week since he'd found her in Natchez. It truly felt like she'd never been gone. She arched her back slightly and made a deep, contented sound and he lost all conscious thought except for how it felt to be making love to this woman.

* * *

He didn't wake up until the sun finally crossed over the bed. When he opened his eyes, he could see Rayna's red-gold hair and not much else. He smiled, running his hand over his face. She had most of the covers wrapped around her and he was just barely covered with a sheet. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around her and the rest of the sheet and the bedspread. He nipped her on the neck and she giggled. "You stole all the covers," he said, with a laugh.

"I did not," she said, laughing with him. He slid his other arm under her and pulled her into him. "You threw them off."

He leaned over her and hugged her close. "I can see we'll be fighting over the sheets."

She rolled over and looked up at him, smiling. "I get cold," she said.

"Then I'll just have to warm you up." He kissed her and she turned towards him. He ran his arm under the covers and around her warm body, pulling her close.

She ran her arm up under his and around his back, then rolled onto her back. As he looked into her eyes, he could see the invitation there. She bit her lip and then she lifted her leg up over his hip. He trailed his lips down her neck as he entered her and she moaned softly. "Oh, Deacon," she whispered, and then he covered her mouth with his own.

* * *

They were snuggling together when they heard Maddie's cry of "Mama". Rayna pulled away from Deacon and rolled out of bed. She rifled through her suitcase until she pulled out a nightgown and slipped in on. She turned to look at Deacon. "We can't just do this like when we were sixteen. Or at least _I_ can't." She started for the door.

He propped himself up on his elbow and frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She turned back and looked at him. "I'm a mama now, Deacon. And this was exactly what I was worried about, when we came here."

He felt confused. He couldn't figure out how they'd gone from cuddling to her being annoyed with him. "I don't understand. Myra's watching her. I thought that was the point."

She rolled her eyes. "No, that's _not_ the point. She was just calling out for me, Deacon, like she was afraid or something. It's like Belle all over again. She's _my_ child. _I_ need to be there."

He sighed. "She's _my_ child too, Rayna."

She shook her head. "Then maybe you should act like it." She turned and walked out of the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Why are we fighting?" he called out. He rolled back onto the pillow, closing his eyes and breathing out in frustration.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna hurried out down the hall towards the kitchen. She felt guilty about having slept in, leaving Shelby's mother watching Maddie, and she also felt inexplicably angry at Deacon for not understanding. She shook her head as she rounded the hallway and forced herself to put that out of her mind. When she walked into the kitchen, Myra was sitting at the table facing Maddie, who was in a high chair.

"Mama!" she called out, clapping her hands and smiling happily. Rayna wondered if she'd been wrong about the tone of Maddie's voice.

She hurried over anyway and grabbed Maddie's hands, smiling at her daughter and kissing her on the nose. "Hey there, baby girl," she cooed. "Were you missing mama?" She looked at Myra questioningly, as Maddie crammed Cheerio's in her mouth.

Myra smiled indulgently. "She's been a happy little thing ever since she got up, Rayna," the older woman said. "I think I forgot her little friend, though."

"This?" came Deacon's voice from behind. Rayna turned and saw that he'd pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and had Maddie's pink pony in his hand. He was looking at Maddie, not her.

"Pony!" Maddie yelled. "Her pony!"

Deacon walked over to Maddie and handed her the pony, which Maddie snatched out of his hand and hugged to her chest. He put his hand on the back of her head and kissed her on the forehead. "There you go, sweet girl," he murmured.

When he stepped back, he glanced at Rayna, his eyes filled with hurt. She bit her lip, feeling bad that she'd snapped at him. As he started to pass her, she grabbed his hand and looked up at him. "Thanks, babe," she whispered. He just nodded and headed back out of the kitchen. She was surprised when he slid his hand from hers as he walked away. He didn't even look at her. She stood there, at first, trying to decide what to do.

"Mama!" Maddie called out and Rayna turned. Maddie had her arms raised like she wanted Rayna to lift her out.

She walked over and grabbed her daughter, pulling her out of the high chair. She tried to cuddle Maddie, but the little girl squirmed to get down. "You want down?" she asked.

"Yes!" Maddie cried out and Rayna leaned down to put her on the floor. Maddie ran towards the living room and Rayna started to follow.

"It's okay, dear," Myra said, waving her off. Rayna stopped and looked at her. "I'll watch her." Myra nodded towards the bedroom as she stood up. "Go ahead and check on him," she said, with a knowing look.

Rayna felt embarrassed, but smiled gratefully and hurried to the bedroom. The door was closed. When she opened it, she could hear the shower running. She hesitated for a moment, then sat on the edge of the bed and waited.

She heard the water cut off and a few minutes later he came out, a towel around his waist, rubbing his wet hair with another. He looked surprised to see her. "Hey," he said, his voice flat.

She twisted her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, Deacon," she said. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

He looked at her a moment and nodded, then walked towards the dresser. "Okay."

She got up and walked over next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "I just thought she was upset," she said.

He took a deep breath and then he looked at her. "Okay," he said. "But I don't know why it turned into me not caring or nothing though." He raised his eyebrows. "And if I remember correctly, you were enjoying what we were doing."

She clung to his arm. "It's just so much change, babe," she said.

He pulled out of her grip and walked over to pull some clothes out of the suitcase. "I gotta go, Rayna. We can talk when I get back."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I don't." It almost felt like he'd punched her in the stomach. He breathed in then, seeming to understand he'd been a little harsh. "I'm gonna be late," he said, softening his tone. "So I'm gonna go ahead on. We'll talk when I get back."

She just stood and watched as he got dressed and ran a comb through his damp hair. She felt like crying. He picked up his messenger bag and his guitar, then walked over to her. He put his free arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be back," he said, starting for the door.

She grabbed his arm and he turned back to look at her. "Good luck," she said. She bit her lip. "I love you."

He smiled a little sadly and nodded. "Love you too." And then he was gone.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon walked down to the truck and laid his guitar in the truck bed. He took off his messenger bag and, when he opened the driver side door, tossed it in. He sat for a moment, his hands covering his mouth. Then he breathed in, rubbing his hands up his face and over his head. He still didn't understand what had just happened with Rayna. It was more than just change, he was sure of it. _Does she not wanna be here? Is she sorry she came?_ It felt so out of character.

But then he took a deep breath, knowing he was pushing it to be on time. He started the truck and headed for downtown.

* * *

Deacon followed the receptionist into Watty White's office. Watty stood and walked around his desk, holding out his hand. "Hey, Deacon. I was glad to hear from you," he said.

Deacon shook his hand and smiled nervously. "Thanks for seeing me, Mr. White," he said.

Watty shook his head. "Call me Watty. Please." He gestured towards a chair over near the window. "Have a seat."

Deacon walked over to the chair. "Okay then. Watty," he said. "Thanks for the opportunity."

Watty had followed him over and they sat. "So let me see some of what you've written." He held his hand out and Deacon opened up his messenger bag and handed Watty his lyric notebook. He watched anxiously as the older man read through a number of pages. Finally Watty looked up at him. "Do you have music for all of these?"

Deacon nodded. "Most of 'em."

"You ever co-write?"

Deacon shook his head. "Not really. Well, except once."

Watty raised his eyebrows. "That in here?"

Deacon breathed in. "Yes, sir. 'Surrender'."

Watty flipped back to it and tapped the page with his finger. "You wrote this with a woman." It was a statement rather than a question.

Deacon smiled a bit. "My girlfriend, yes, sir."

"Is she here?"

"She is now."

Watty nodded. "The two of you plan to write more together?" he asked.

Deacon shrugged. "I don't know. We haven't really talked about it. That was kind of a unexpected thing." He worked his lip. "She writes poetry mostly."

Watty smiled. "Just songs without music." He closed the notebook and handed it back to Deacon. "So listen, I'd like to hook you up with a small outfit – Black Dog Publishing. It won't be like the big publishing houses but you won't be expected to churn out a certain number of songs a week or month either. I want you to do some co-writes – and they'll set 'em up – and get some input on some of these. Clean 'em up, look at phrasing, bridges and such." He steepled his fingers under his chin. "You're a really good lyricist, Deacon. And the music I heard at the Bluebird was phenomenal. But you're young and, mostly, unproven. You could use a little polish, but you don't need much."

Deacon could feel a sense of relief flow through him. "Thank you, sir."

"Three chords and the truth."

Deacon frowned. "Excuse me?"

Watty smiled. "Three chords and the truth. That's all songwriting is. You write what you know. I can tell that's what you've done. There's a truth in your words that's undeniable. The fact that you don't realize you're doing it tells me you're a natural."

Deacon swallowed. "Thanks."

Watty nodded. "Once you've tightened up a few of these I'll cut your demo myself. The key is getting them in the hands of the labels, who'll present them to their artists. And then you get holds and buys. So we need some good quality demos." He pointed at Deacon's notebook. "I really like this 'Surrender' though and I'd like to hear the music you have for that. You got that done that yet?"

Deacon nodded. "I do."

"Any chance your girlfriend would sing the demo with you? It would be good to give people an idea of what that would sound like."

Deacon breathed in. Rayna had been skittish about singing outside Natchez, but it was a song they'd written together, so maybe she'd do it. "I'll ask her. She's, uh, done some singing. Professionally. She's good."

Watty smiled. "Fantastic. I'd like to hear her." He got up then and Deacon did as well. "I'll meet you tomorrow at Black Dog. Get you set up. Ten o'clock work for you?"

Deacon smiled. "Yes, sir." He was working at the diner in the morning, but he could be here by ten. He held his hand out. "Thank you, Mr… I mean, Watty. I really appreciate this."

Watty shook his hand, then walked him to the door. "You're gonna be a good songwriter in this town, Deacon. You should keep doing open mics too, just to make sure people hear your music. You'll get to know other songwriters and musicians that way too."

"Yes, sir, I will," he said.

As Deacon walked to the elevator and then headed down to the parking garage, he felt like he was living a dream. Although he'd always seen himself performing, what he really wanted was to be able to make a living doing what he loved – making music. He smiled to himself, thinking that he was lucky to have met Watty White. His first thought was to go tell Rayna, but then after what had happened that morning, he felt uncertain.

When he got to his truck, instead of driving back to Shelby's house, he headed for the park along the river.

* * *

He sat under a tree, within view of the river. It was a peaceful place, a place he'd come to often, mainly to get away from Beverly and her nagging. It was a good place for writing and picking out melodies. He'd pulled out his notebook but nothing really formed in his head. All he could do was think about Rayna. He sighed again. He still didn't understand what had gotten her so upset. Even though she'd seemed to try and make amends before he left, and told him she loved him, he felt unsettled.

He wondered if there weren't some kind of underlying anger about the fact that he hadn't returned when he'd said he would. Of course she wouldn't have known what had happened when he'd been there while she was in Biloxi, so it would be understandable if she'd been hurt and mad. She had said she understood, though, but maybe it wasn't that simple.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Things were different, that was a fact. They had a daughter now and that was a big game changer. He loved Maddie – it was hard not to fall for the pretty little toddler with the sunny smile and infectious laugh – but it was a lot to get used to. So far, Rayna had stayed the primary caregiver. Did she resent that? Was she mad he wasn't taking on more? He was feeling a little bit like he didn't know her as well as he'd thought.

He sighed. This was hard. Life was hard. Things had felt easy, back when they were in high school, when everything was fresh and new, when the toughest thing they faced was whether Lamar would catch her sneaking out of the house. But now they were grown up, in ways they hadn't planned to be at this age. There was a child and responsibilities, bills and decisions that were bigger than just the two of them. There were storm clouds on the horizon, hopefully that they would face down together.

He thought about her as she had laid in his arms that morning, all soft and warm, smelling like springtime. When she looked at him, even her eyes were smiling, all lit up and glowing. He loved to hear her laugh, a throaty, lusty sound that made her whole face brighten. Her touch was both soothing and sensual, her lips chaste and beckoning.

He pulled out his notebook and started jotting down thoughts. He wrote and rewrote, crossing things out, erasing a word here or there. He had no idea how long he'd worked. He still only had a verse and a chorus, but it would be something he could pull out and work on again. He knew the title already – 'Love is War' – and he also knew it was worth fighting for, this love he had with Rayna Wyatt. She was worth it all.

He looked over the words he'd written and made another minor change and then he was satisfied.

 _Young lovers in a picture frame / Ever notice how there ain't no rain / Nobody hangs hard times on the wall / You won't see it in an 8 by 10 / But there's a storm every now and then / A slamming door down the hall_

 _Sometimes love is a white flag / Sometimes love is standing tall / Sometimes love is a feather / Sometimes a cannon ball / But it's worth fighting for (it's worth fighting for) / Baby, sometimes love is war_

He put his pencil down and sat up. He had no idea what time it was, but he was starving, so he was sure it was well past lunch time. Rayna was probably wondering where he was and he figured he needed to get back. He shoved his notebook back in the messenger bag and then pushed up from the ground. He stretched, then picked up his guitar and bag and headed for his truck.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

When Deacon walked out, Rayna just stood there, looking at the space he'd left behind. She twisted her hands together and she felt like a vise was wrapped around her chest. For a moment, she felt like she couldn't breathe, and then it passed. She felt emptiness in her core, like she'd just done the worst thing imaginable. She'd doubted him that morning, however briefly, and it had brought to the surface her fears and anxieties and the truth she was trying hard not to acknowledge.

She sat on the edge of the bed. She thought back to the day he'd left Natchez. It was earlier than he had planned and there had been that aura of desperation all around it. His physical hurt and her emotional hurt had all been wrapped up in a painful package. She knew he hadn't _wanted_ to leave, but that he _needed_ to leave, and she had accepted that, even as she'd felt such anguish over it. But she couldn't help but think that, if it hadn't been for his father's rampage, he'd have been there. He would have been there when she realized she was pregnant. Maybe everything would have been different, if only he'd been there.

Yes, things might have been very different if they had faced that together. Or maybe it would have torn them apart. What she did know was that innocence had been lost that day and it always played at the edges of her mind, but never more than the days since he'd finally returned. She'd had all those months to get used to the idea of Maddie and then the reality of her after she was born. She'd had all those months in Biloxi to wrap her mind around it and reconcile it and make peace with it. But now that she and Deacon were face-to-face with it, she had to consider what it meant for _them_ and that had remained the part that was unknown.

She wrapped her arms around her waist and breathed in deeply. She felt a little claustrophobic, sitting in the guest room. She needed to get out of the house. She got up and quickly got dressed, then walked out to the living room, where Maddie was playing with the little kitchen set, one of the things Rayna hadn't wanted to leave behind.

"Myra, do you mind if I go out and run an errand really quickly?" she asked Shelby's mother.

"Maddie and I are fine," Myra said, with a smile. "Take your time."

Rayna smiled appreciatively and walked over to Maddie. She put her hand on her daughter's back and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Mama will be back in a little bit," she said. "Will you be okay?"

Maddie looked up at her and nodded. "Yes, Mama," she said. "Her fine."

Rayna smiled. Maddie always seemed to refer to herself in the third person these days. She rubbed the back of Maddie's head. "Okay then. Be good for Myra," she said. Maddie nodded, concentrating on her plastic egg and bread combo. Rayna looked again at Myra. "Thanks. I won't be too long."

"Take all the time you need, dear," Myra said.

Rayna headed for the front door and out onto the porch. It was a warm day, not as cloying as the heat in Mississippi. There was a gentle breeze, something that also was not common in Mississippi. She liked this place already. She felt a burst of nervous energy and she ran down the walk to her car.

* * *

She had seen a convenience store on the way to Shelby's house and she hoped she remembered the route they'd come in. She drove a little slow and then smiled when she saw it. She pulled in and parked over to the side by the pay phones. She got out of her car and walked to the phone bank. She picked up the receiver on the first phone and dialed the operator. She gave the number she wanted to call and was told how much money to put into the phone. She reached into her wallet and pulled out enough change for three minutes.

She crossed her fingers as the phone rang and breathed a sigh of relief when it was answered. "Tandy Wyatt."

"Hey, Tandy, it's me," she said.

"Rayna!" Tandy cried, then lowered her voice. "Where are you?"

"In Nashville. Please don't tell Daddy."

"I won't. But…."

"Listen, I only have three minutes. I'm on a pay phone."

"Then give me the number and I'll call you right back." Rayna read off the number. "Hang up and I'll call you back." Rayna hung up and waited for the phone to ring. When it did, she picked it up quickly. "Are you okay?" Tandy blurted out.

"Yes. I'm fine." She sighed. "Actually, I'm not fine."

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

Rayna leaned on the ledge of the phone booth and wrapped her other arm around her waist. She felt like crying, so she took a deep breath. "I'm scared, Tandy."

"Scared of what?"

"I'm scared I made a mistake coming here."

Tandy was quiet for a moment. "Are you and Deacon fighting? Having trouble?"

Rayna looked up, willing herself not to cry on the phone. "I'm just afraid he's going to be sorry he brought us here. That it's more than he can deal with."

"Has he said that?"

"No. He's been great, actually. He's so good with Maddie, but…." She could feel a lump in her throat.

"But what?"

"He didn't expect to come back and find me in Natchez, and especially not with a ready-made family. What if he decides it's too much? That he can't do it?"

"So, what, you're going to make him screw things up so you can let him off the hook?"

Rayna frowned. "No. Of course not."

"Really?" Rayna could hear the sarcasm in Tandy's voice. "Because it sounds to me like you're making the assumption he's not all in." She sighed. "Sweetie, just relax. You're overthinking this. Just remember, he came home and you were there and he was in for all of it. I saw it for myself. Just focus on the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you. You love him and he loves you. That's enough."

Rayna could feel the tears in her eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to ward them off. "I want it to be," she said softly.

Tandy's voice was soft and encouraging. "It is. Believe that. Promise me?"

Rayna nodded. "I promise."

"It's going to be okay, Rayna. Just give it time. It's only been a week. Give him a chance." She paused. "Listen, I have a meeting I need to get to, but are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I am. Thanks, Tandy."

"Of course. And call me anytime, okay?"

Rayna closed her eyes. "Okay," she whispered.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too." She opened her eyes and hung up the receiver.

* * *

Rayna was beginning to get worried, when lunchtime came and went and Deacon still wasn't back. She had a gnawing anxiety building in her stomach as she put Maddie down for a nap. She'd only picked at her lunch. After she pulled a light blanket up over Maddie and patted her daughter's arm, she walked out to the front porch and curled up on the porch swing. The street Shelby and Myra lived on was a quiet street and there was not a lot of traffic. She kept her eyes peeled though, looking for Deacon's truck.

She tucked one leg underneath her and used the other to gently push off the floor of the porch, the swing swaying gently. She breathed in and out, trying to soothe her nerves. Finally she saw his truck slowly make its way up the street and park. Her heart started to thud and she found it hard to take a deep breath. She slowly pushed up from the swing as she saw him get out of the truck and get his guitar out of the back. As he made his way to the walk, she walked to the top of the steps. He stopped when he saw her and she walked down the steps and over to where he stood.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I acted like that before," she said, wringing her hands.

Deacon sighed. "I think you do, baby, but it's okay. I know I done disappointed you and I gotta make it up to you."

She shook her head. "You didn't disappoint me, Deacon."

He looked at her, his eyes filled with hurt and sadness. "Yeah, I did. I didn't come back for you like I said. And you done all this, with Maddie, on your own. I get it." He bit his lip. "But hey, it's okay. I'm here now and we're gonna do this together. I don't need no explanations."

She took a step closer and he put his guitar down. "I'm where I want to be. Here, with you."

He smiled just a little and stepped towards her, pulling her into his arms. "I love you, Ray."

She let herself relax in his arms. "I love you too." He held her close, rubbing his hands over her back, and she leaned into it. "I want to hear how your meeting went, though," she whispered against his chest.

He put his hands on her arms and pushed back just enough so that he could look down at her. "Then let's go sit down and I'll tell you." She stepped back and turned. He put an arm around her shoulders and she put an arm around his waist and they walked towards the porch.

 _ **A/N: The song is 'Love Is War' by American Young. Thanks for all the kind reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying this.**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**~Deacon~**_

Rayna pulled Deacon down onto the porch swing next to her. "So tell me all about it," she said, a smile on her face.

He smiled back at her. She looked so excited, so eager to listen, and it made him hopeful that the tension of the morning was a thing of the past. He took her hands in his and leaned a little forward. "I start tomorrow at the publishing house. I don't know exactly what that's all gonna be like, but I guess I'll just be writing. With people some."

She frowned slightly. "But you write your own songs. I thought that's what he liked."

He nodded. "I do. And I'll still do that. But, Ray, this is a chance to learn from people who already got songs out there. See what they do. Get better. Mr. White, I mean, Watty – he wants me to call him that – he says my songs are good, but he wants more polish. So little things here and there, I think."

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay, I guess. I just think you write such beautiful songs, Deacon, and I don't want him, or anyone else, to mess those up."

He reached up and ran his hand over her cheek. "It'll be okay, baby. I think I can still write what I want." He let his hand drift back down to hers. "But here's the big news. He wants to do a demo of some of my songs."

Rayna's face lit up and she clapped her hands gleefully. "Oh, babe, I knew you could do it!" she cried and then she leaned in and kissed him, letting her lips linger on his. He closed his eyes and let himself give in to the kiss. This felt like them, like who they were together. Connected, a team. He decided the morning was just a blip.

When he sat back, he smiled at her. "He really liked 'Surrender', Ray," he said.

She looked surprised and bit her lip. "Really? You showed him that?"

He shrugged. "Well, yeah. It was in my notebook. He looked at all my songs. That was one he specifically mentioned." He breathed out. "Was I not supposed to let him see it?"

She looked away for a minute, then back at him and shook her head. "No, I guess not." She sighed. "I just guess, I don't know, I guess I thought that was just for us."

He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. He looked down at his hands, then finally back at her. "It's a beautiful song, Ray. Don't you want people to hear it?"

She twisted her hands. "I don't know, babe. It just feels like, I guess, _personal_ , you know? I mean, it got all, you know, intimate and everything." She blushed a little.

He gave her a small smile and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "That's what makes it so good, baby," he said softly. "Three chords and the truth." She looked puzzled. He laughed a little. "Watty said that. All songs are three chords and the truth. Which means, you write what you know. Your truth. And that was our truth, that night." He breathed out. "I felt it. Didn't you?"

She lifted her shoulders and bit her lip. "Of course I did."

He reached for her hand. "Watty asked if you'd sing it on the demo with me."

She frowned then. "Well, that's not going to happen," she said, firmly.

"Come on, baby. I ain't asking you to do it on a stage. We'd be in a studio. The demo would be for other people to listen to."

She pulled her hand away and got up from the swing. "No, Deacon. I'm not doing that. I don't want to sell that song and I'm not singing on a demo. Or anywhere else, for that matter. I told you that."

He just watched as she turned away and walked back in the house, slamming the door behind her. He sighed with frustration.

* * *

Shelby bustled into the kitchen early the next morning, where Deacon was drinking coffee. She walked over to the coffeemaker and pulled down a travel mug, then filled it with coffee. "You ready, sugar?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She put the top on the mug and turned, her eyebrows drawn together. "You okay?"

He looked at her and gave her a sarcastic smile. "Just peachy," he said. He got up from the table and picked up his messenger bag, throwing it over his shoulder. "I'm ready." He headed for the door and she followed.

* * *

It wasn't until he took a break, just after the breakfast rush, that Shelby tried talking to him. She slid into the booth across from him and he closed his eyes and sighed. He knew she was not going to leave him alone any longer. "What's wrong?" she asked, an annoyed tone to her voice. "You've been pissy all morning."

He opened his eyes and looked at her evenly. "Nothing's wrong," he said angrily. "Not a damn thing."

She made a great show of putting sugar and cream in her coffee and stirring it. "Well, I don't believe that. You and Rayna barely spoke to each other last night. And you're sure not happy this morning, which tells me that the two of you probably slept as far away from each other as you could in that double bed." He scowled at her. "What's going on, sugar?" she said, softening her tone.

He rubbed his hand over his mouth and let out a short laugh, more like a bark. "Hell if I know," he said, shaking his head. He looked back at Shelby. "Seems like every time I talk about singing or _her_ singing or music in general, she shuts me down and acts like we done talked about this for _years_. That I'm forcing her to do something, I don't know, unnatural or something. It ain't like she hadn't sang in front of people before, but suddenly it's like it's the forbidden subject."

"Have you asked her about it?"

"She won't tell me nothing. It's like it ain't up for discussion." He sighed. "She and me, we wrote a song together. We wrote the words and I did the music. Anyway, Watty liked it, but she ain't interested in cutting a demo for it or letting anyone else have it. But she won't sing it." He rolled his shoulders forward. "It don't feel like she wants to be here," he said, his voice low.

Shelby took a sip of her coffee and sat for a moment, as though she were considering what to say. "Well, it does seem like this all happened really fast. I mean, you just found her and the next thing I know you're calling me to tell me you're coming back to Nashville. And that you have a daughter. That's a lot, Deacon. For both of you, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "But she wanted to come. She said she wanted to. She and her daddy had it out and she left."

Shelby tapped the table. "I think that's the issue right there. She made a snap decision and now it's real."

He felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed hard. "You think she wishes she didn't do it?" he asked, worried now that she regretted coming with him.

She shook her head. "I don't really think so. I think she wants to be with you, but didn't you tell me her father was a pretty big deal in Natchez?" He nodded. "That's a lot to give up, sugar. It was a nice place for her and Maddie and now she's staying in someone's guest room. Someone she didn't even know before she came here. Everything's all upside down. Give her some time."

He shook his head. "I don't think that's it. At least not all of it. It's this music thing. I just don't know why."

"Ask her, sugar." She reached out and patted his hand, smiling encouragingly.

He shrugged. "She's so closed up. Says everything's 'fine', but I know it ain't." He sighed. "I just wish she'd tell me." He rubbed his face. "I was so happy I found her, you know? I mean, it was a dream come true. Every time I look at her, I just think I'm the luckiest guy there is. I sure don't deserve someone like her. Maybe she's thinking the same thing now."

"Sugar, I know she loves you. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you. Don't give up. Promise me now."

He looked at her and he nodded, but he still worried that Rayna had changed her mind.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

As much as she appreciated Shelby's hospitality and Myra's willingness to take care of Maddie, Rayna was feeling agitated. She wanted some privacy and she wanted her own space, not to feel like she was a guest. She felt like it contributed to her mood and her inability to relax. They'd been in Nashville for two weeks and she and Deacon were still on edge around each other. He'd at least stopped bugging her about singing, and that helped, but she felt like they needed their own place.

He wasn't working at the diner that morning, so she was awake. Although she knew he needed that job, she hated how he had to get up so early to leave. She was not an early morning person and so she was usually sound asleep when he would leave. He went to the publishing house most days and that meant, on days he worked at the diner, he was gone most of the day. He had just gone to take a shower and she made the decision to follow him.

When she pushed back the shower curtain, he looked startled, but then he had smiled. "This is a nice surprise," he said, as she stepped in with him.

She smiled up at him. "Well, I was thinking that since Myra was watching Maddie, it might be nice to join you." She took a step towards him, putting her hand on his arm. He put his other arm around her waist and pulled her to him and she squealed with laughter as the water sluiced down over her as well. He bent his head down and pressed his lips against hers. She slid her arms up and around his neck, leaning into him, their wet bodies pressed tightly together.

He let one hand slide down over her ass, languidly stroking her and pressing her to him. She could feel him hard against her stomach and she moaned deep in her throat. He pulled his lips from hers, looking down at her, his eyes dark with emotion. She bit her lip as she looked up at him. As the water continued to slide over them, they let their hands roam freely, touching and stroking, as the heat built up between them.

Finally, when she thought she couldn't stand it any longer, he murmured, "Oh, god, Ray," and then turned her around, nudging her legs apart with his knee. She steadied herself with her hands on the shower wall and heard his name slide from her lips as he forcefully pushed inside her. He put one hand on her waist and slid the other over her stomach and down between her legs and she started to moan as the pleasurable sensations started to cascade over her faster and faster. All she could focus on was how much she wanted him and how good this felt and how she never wanted it to stop.

* * *

He had held her until the water turned lukewarm and then he had wrapped her up in a towel and carried her to the bed and they had made love again, with their skin still damp and their hair wet. Afterwards, as they cuddled up, she linked her fingers through his. "I think we need to get our own place," she said. "Shelby and Myra have been wonderful, but I think it's time."

He considered what she said and then he nodded. "I agree," he said.

"I know you're going to the publishing house today, so I thought maybe I could go look at some places. I know we can't afford much and it will be something small, but I'd really like for us to have a place that's our own."

He kissed her. "You sure you don't want me to go too?" he asked.

She smiled. "That's sweet, but you know you really don't want to do that."

He laughed. "True." He kissed her again. "I know you'll pick out a good place."

She bit her lip. "I just think it will be better, for us, if we do this now. I think we need to have our own space, you know?"

He let go of her hand and wrapped both arms around her. "I ain't arguing with you, baby," he said, laughter in his voice.

She looked at him. "I love you so much," she said, her voice catching just a little with emotion. "And I know I've been hard to live with lately. I think this will help though."

He kissed her on the forehead. "Baby, I just want you to be happy. If this helps, I'm all in." He kissed her again. "And I love you too." Then he kissed her hard. "But I gotta go." He rolled off her and got off the bed.

She rolled onto her side and smiled at him. "Go be amazing," she said.

* * *

Rayna was getting discouraged. She'd spent all morning looking at apartments, with no success. Everything she'd looked at was too small, too expensive, in a bad neighborhood, or had no privacy. She'd gone back to Shelby's for lunch. She spread out the morning paper, looking to see if there was anything else she'd missed.

One caught her eye that, when she checked the map, was four blocks away and close to a small park. _1BR/1BA, back side of house, street parking. $500/month._ It was a little more than they wanted to spend but she felt desperate. She heard Maddie chattering and followed the sound into the living room. The little girl was playing with her little kitchen, cooking up hotdogs in a frying pan. Myra was reading and looked up when Rayna walked in. "Any luck?"

Rayna shook her head. "No. But I just found one more in the paper. I thought I'd take Maddie with me. Get her out of your hair for a bit."

Myra smiled. "Well, you know I don't mind at all, but I'm sure she'd love the walk. I hope this one works."

Rayna smiled back. "Me too." She walked over to the little kitchen, bending over. "Maddie, wanna go out with Mama?"

Maddie threw down the frying pan. "Her out, Mama!" she cried, raising her hands up over her head.

Rayna smiled and picked her up. "Let's go then," she said. "Bye, Myra." She looked at Maddie and then waved at Myra.

"Bye, Mywa!" Maddie shouted.

* * *

Rayna pushed the stroller up the walkway. The house was a tidy little bungalow, well-maintained, with lots of trees, which made the lot very shaded. The front door was red and welcoming and there were lots of flowers in front of the house. _Please let this be the one._ She parked the stroller by the porch steps and picked up Maddie, walking up the steps and knocking on the door.

The woman who answered the door smiled pleasantly. She was a middle-aged black woman, with a full apron covering her dress. "Are you here about the apartment?" she asked.

Rayna nodded. "Yes, ma'am." She held her hand out. "I'm Rayna Wyatt."

"Nice to meet you, Rayna. I'm Audrey Carlisle." She smiled at Maddie, who was being shy. "And this is?"

"My daughter, Maddie."

"Hey there, Miss Maddie," Audrey said. Maddie buried her face in Rayna's shoulder. Audrey laughed. "Come on in," she said. Rayna followed. Audrey turned back to her. "Is it just the two of you?"

Rayna shook her head. "Also my…fiancé." She wanted them to seem more settled, more of a family. "He's working right now."

"Well, come on back and let me show you the apartment. I think you'll like it. It's on the back side of the house and has its own little patio." She glanced back at Rayna as she headed through the house. "My husband and I were hoping for a young couple to rent to. Folks just getting started."

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon hopped out of the truck and grabbed his guitar case out of the back. As he hurried up the walk, he thought, again, how glad he was Rayna had found this apartment. It had turned out to be perfect. They had been afraid they'd have to settle for a studio, with next to no privacy, but this was a one-bedroom that even had the perfect little alcove for Maddie's crib. It was small but it had lots of large windows that made it feel bright and open. There was even a little patio off the kitchen with a couple of lounge chairs for relaxing.

Shelby had helped them find some gently used furniture and Rayna had made the apartment a home. She seemed happier and that made him happier too. Even better was that, although they were still close to Shelby and Myra, the Carlisle's, who they were renting from, were warm, caring people and Rayna felt comfortable with them. Coleman worked for the Metro government and Audrey was a substitute teacher, and they had taken both Deacon and Rayna under their wing, helping them however they needed it, yet giving them plenty of space.

As he came in the kitchen door, Rayna looked up from the living room floor where she was playing with Maddie. "Hey, babe," she said, with a smile.

Maddie pushed herself up from the floor and toddled over. "Daddy!" she squealed, raising her arms up over her head.

He put his guitar and messenger bag down and then squatted to welcome Maddie into his arms. He covered her little face with kisses as he stood up and she squealed happily. Rayna got up and walked over to him, putting a hand on his arm as he leaned down to kiss her. "How was your day?" he asked.

"Good," she said, with a smile. "Maddie and I went to the park, then came back and took a nap, and we've just been playing since then." He looked around at all of Maddie's toys. That, more than anything, made the place feel crowded, but it also had a happy feel to it.

"I started a new song today," he said.

Her face brightened. "Can you play it for me tonight?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. It ain't finished, but you can tell me what you think."

She patted his arm. "If you'll keep Maddie occupied, I can fix dinner."

He smiled. "I can do that." Rayna walked into the kitchen and he looked at Maddie. "I was thinking maybe you could make me some eggs, baby girl," he said to her.

"Yes, peeze," she said, and he put her down on the floor. She ran to the little kitchen and he looked back at Rayna, who was smiling indulgently. He grinned and then followed Maddie and sat down next to her.

* * *

He was sitting on the couch with his guitar when Rayna came out of the bathroom after giving Maddie her bath. He looked up and smiled. Maddie started to squirm in Rayna's arms. "Play me, Daddy! Play me!" she cried, waving her arms at him.

Rayna walked to the couch and sat, letting Maddie scramble over towards him. She smiled at the two of them. "You want Daddy to play you a song?" she asked Maddie.

Maddie stood next to him with one arm on his shoulder. He put his hand around her waist. "Yes, peeze," she said. She turned to look at him, with the most adoring look on her face. "Daddy sing pwetty."

He laughed. "I don't know about that, but I can sing you to sleep, okay?" Maddie nodded. Rayna reached for her and settled the little girl on her lap as he launched into the new song he'd started.

 _A woman is a mystery a man just can't understand / Sometimes all it takes to please her is a touch of your hand / And other times you've gotta take it slow and hold her all night long / Heaven knows there's so many ways a man can go wrong_

 _I must be doin' something right / I just heard you sigh / You leaned into my kiss and closed those deep blue need you eyes / Don't know what I did to earn a love like this, but baby / I must be doin' something right_

He was writing it for Rayna and he was pleased to see the look on her face that said she liked it. Maddie clapped. "More, more!" she cried.

He smiled at his daughter. "One more and then it's off to bed," he said and launched into 'A Life That's Good'. Halfway through he looked at Rayna. "Sing it with me, baby," he said softly. To his surprise, she did, and he had the same feeling he'd had on the stage at the Landslide, like everything just faded away except the two of them.

When he played the last chord, he thought Rayna looked a little breathless. Even Maddie was quiet. Then Rayna seemed to snap out of it, taking a deep breath and looking down at Maddie. "Bedtime, sweet girl," she said, her voice soft and laden with emotion, as she stood.

She picked Maddie up and carried her to the little alcove, putting her down in the crib. When she came back, he put his guitar aside and she curled up against him, her back to him. He put his arms around her and leaned his head against hers. He wanted to say something – how amazing that had been, how good she sounded – but he was afraid it would spark a fight, so he kept quiet.

She sighed and reached her hands up to grasp his arm. "I missed you today," she said, her voice quiet.

He breathed in. "I'm here now," he said.

"I know. And I know you're working hard, writing beautiful songs," she said. "I just missed you a lot today." She ran her fingers over his arm. "I keep thinking about all the time we missed."

He pulled her a little closer. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I wish I'd come back sooner."

She pulled away from him and then turned to face him, folding her legs underneath her. She grabbed his arms and looked at him intently. "Please don't say that again," she said. "It's not your fault. I just think about all the time we could've had."

He worked his lip for a moment, then put his hands on her waist. "We can't live with regrets, Ray," he said. "We just gotta be glad we got the now and our whole future."

"I love you. So much," she murmured.

He breathed in and then pulled her onto his lap, holding her tight. "I love you too, baby," he said.

* * *

They were on their way back from the park when Deacon brought up the possibility of Rayna singing again. She had seemed more comfortable joining in with him when they sang to Maddie and he hoped that meant she was interested in giving it a try. "Watty asked again if you'd want to do the demo," he said.

She sighed but didn't say anything at first. But he could see her hands grip the stroller and she seemed to have set her jaw. He wished he'd kept his mouth shut. "Deacon, please don't ask me again," she said, her voice both brittle and icy.

"But you sounded so good…."

She stopped and turned to look at him. "We're singing for our daughter. That's completely different than getting up on stage and singing for a room full of people." He opened his mouth to say that the demo would be different. She narrowed her eyes. "Or even just for one person who's not you or Maddie. I don't want to open that door. I thought you understood that." Then she turned away from him and headed down the sidewalk.

* * *

She barely spoke to him after they got back to the apartment and, that night when they went to bed, she rolled over onto her side away from him, her back rigid and unforgiving. As he got into bed himself, he didn't feel angry, only sad that he couldn't make it right with her on this one thing he thought would bond them even closer together.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

It was going to be one of Deacon's long days. He had a shift at the diner and then would head over to the publishing house. She knew he would probably welcome the break from her. She didn't know why she didn't feel comfortable talking to him about the things that were running through her mind, but she didn't. She'd hardly slept the night before and she was stiff from holding herself so still. She heard the alarm go off and he quickly turned it off, which told her he hadn't slept well either. She could feel him standing over her when he was ready to leave, but she pretended to be asleep. She felt his hand gently brush over her hair, but she didn't move a muscle. Finally he sighed and walked out of the room.

When she heard the kitchen door close, she rolled over to the middle of the bed, pulling his pillow close to her face. She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes as she took in his smell. Then she started to cry and she finally cried herself to sleep, waking up only when Maddie started calling out for her.

* * *

The phone rang at noon and she practically leapt on top of it. Once she and Deacon had moved into the apartment, she and Tandy had worked out a schedule. Every other week Tandy would go home for lunch and would call Rayna so they could catch up with each other. Rayna loved the regular calls with her sister. "Hey, Tandy," she said into the receiver.

Tandy's laugh floated over the phone line. "Hey there. What if it hadn't been me?" she asked.

Rayna made a face. "I guess I would have just looked foolish. But it _is_ you."

"Yes, it is me. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Is Deacon there?"

Rayna sighed. "No. He worked at the diner and now he's at the publishing house."

Tandy was silent for a moment. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Rayna frowned. "Why do you always think something's wrong?"

"I don't always think something's wrong. But I can hear a tone in your voice that tells me everything's not fine."

"What kind of 'tone'?"

"Well, today it's like you're trying to be 'fine' when you're really not. What's going on? Did you and Deacon have a fight?"

Rayna made a face. "Why do you always think we had a fight?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you're always telling me you're fighting?"

Rayna paused. She hoped she didn't always come across that way. She and Deacon certainly didn't fight all the time, or even a lot, just about this one thing. "We don't always fight, Tandy," she said.

"Okay. Well then, how's his songwriting going?"

"Good, actually. He's written a lot and it's all really good. This guy, Watty, who is helping him out, wants him to do a demo of his songs."

"So is he going to do an album?" Tandy sounded confused.

Rayna smiled. "No, it's a demo that he can shop to artists, so they can hear his song and decide if they want to record it. He has a lot of songs, but Watty wants him to record three of them."

"That's fantastic! Sounds like things are really looking up for him. So what if he sells his songs? What will you do?"

Rayna frowned. "What do you mean, what will I do? I'm taking care of Maddie. Just like I always have."

"Oh, sweetie, you could do so much more than that, if you really wanted to. You and Deacon could perform together. I thought y'all sounded amazing at the Landslide."

Rayna breathed in. "Why does everyone bug me about singing? I'm not a singer. I'm a mama. That's what I do. I get enough of that from Deacon. I don't need it from you too." She was pacing now, as far as the phone cord would let her.

"I'm sorry I mentioned it then," Tandy said. "But I do know you loved doing that. I could see it in your face, every time you came home. Don't give up something you love." Rayna didn't respond. She didn't really know what to say, so it seemed the better thing was to say nothing at all. Tandy was quiet too, but then she said, "Listen, I need to get back to the office. I love you, baby sister."

Rayna couldn't help but smile at the loving tone in her sister's voice. She missed having Tandy close by. "I love you too, Tandy. Thanks for calling."

"Give my niece a big hug and a kiss for me and tell Deacon to take good care of you." She paused. "Be good to him too, sweetie. He loves you more than anything and I know he'd do anything for you. You're lucky to have him."

Rayna sighed. "Yes, I am. I'll talk to you soon." As she hung up, she thought about what Tandy had said. She _was_ lucky to have Deacon and she needed to come clean with him. She thought that, when Maddie woke up from her nap, that it was time to pay a visit to Shelby for a good girls' talk.

* * *

Rayna watched as Myra took Maddie out into the backyard. Then she took the cup of tea that Shelby handed to her. When Shelby was settled on the other end of the couch, she looked at Rayna. "So what's going on, sugar?" she asked.

Rayna made a face. "Why does something have to be going on?" she asked, a little exasperated. "I just wanted to come over."

Shelby rolled her eyes. "Please," she said. "I'm not stupid. It's as clear to me as the fact that the sun is shining today that you need to talk. And that it needs to be to someone other than that ridiculously gorgeous man in your life."

Rayna smiled shyly. "He is ridiculously gorgeous, isn't he?" she asked.

Shelby smiled indulgently. "I just said that, so yes. But don't change the subject."

Rayna sighed. She wasn't sure why she was pretending she didn't need to talk. "He's just pushing me and pushing me about this singing thing. Every Sunday night he starts talking about the Bluebird. And he brings home a newspaper with all the open mics in town. And he asked me again yesterday about doing that demo with him for Watty White. I just don't know what to do anymore."

Shelby reached over and patted her knee. "Well, he thinks you're amazing. And he's proud of you. And, based on what little I've heard, you _are_ quite talented." She looked at Rayna carefully. "He told me that you said that being on stage felt like what you were meant to do. So why are you so hesitant?"

Rayna frowned. "It's Deacon's dream to perform in Nashville, not mine."

Shelby shook her head. "I don't believe that, sugar. He told me how much you loved it. What's changed your mind?"

Rayna looked away for a moment, then sipped her tea, buying some time. Finally she looked back at Shelby, feeling a lump in her throat. "You know I love Deacon and Maddie more than anything." Shelby nodded. Rayna sighed. "When I started singing, it was like an escape."

"Escape from what?" Shelby looked confused.

Rayna flicked her eyes away again and then back. "I was eighteen when I started singing in the church choir. Daddy suggested it." She rolled her eyes. "But it was just what I needed then. It was something I could do without Maddie. I mean, she was my whole life, taking care of her, being her mama." She bit her lip. "Then I started singing at the Landslide. And it really _was_ amazing." She smiled to herself. "I _did_ feel like I belonged there, up on that stage." She looked back at Shelby sadly. "But I felt bad about it."

Shelby frowned. "Why would you feel bad about it?"

Rayna felt an overwhelming sadness and guilt. "Well, because it made me feel like who I should have been. A nineteen year old without a care in the world, free to explore all the possibilities. Except that I couldn't really do that. Because I had a baby." She could feel the tears in her eyes. "Having a baby when I was seventeen just meant that I didn't have options anymore. Not really. It was like I'd lost that time when I should have been able to explore everything life has to offer." She sighed. "I love Maddie, don't get me wrong. I loved her before she was even born. I love being her mama." She bit her lip. "But I can't tell Deacon all that. I don't want him to feel bad." She swallowed hard. "I don't want him to think I'm a terrible person," she whispered.

Shelby furrowed her brow and reached over again and squeezed Rayna's hand. "Sugar, I think you could tell him anything. Right now, he's confused and he just wants you to be happy. I bet if you told him how you feel, he'd completely understand. He _loves_ you, sugar. More than anything on this earth."

Rayna felt the tears slide down her cheeks. She put down her cup and wiped them away. "I don't know why I'm crying," she said, with a shaky chuckle. She sighed. "I just don't want to disappoint him. When he came back to Natchez, he didn't know I was there and it was such a gift for us to find each other again. But, you know, there was Maddie, which he wasn't expecting, and he's been such a trouper about that and, now that we're here and really on our own, I don't want him to regret this."

Shelby frowned. "So you're doing what, sugar? Pushing down everything _you_ want in order to be Maddie's mama so that Deacon doesn't have to be burdened with that?" Rayna nodded. "Rayna, he loves you and he loves Maddie. Does he maybe feel a little overwhelmed sometimes? Sure. Just like you. Talk about it. Tell him how you feel." Shelby reached out for Rayna's hands and Rayna looked at her friend's concerned face. "Will you do that?"

Rayna shrugged. "I guess…."

Shelby shook her head. "Don't carry this around inside you. You'll just resent him and he'll feel pushed away and that won't be good for any of y'all."

Rayna nodded. "You're right. I'll talk to him tonight." She took a deep breath. "I feel like I've been just horrible to him and he doesn't understand. And he doesn't deserve that." She smiled at Shelby. "I _will_ talk to him tonight. I promise."

 _ **A/N: The song is 'Must Be Doin' Something Right' by Billy Currington.**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**~Deacon~**_

He'd told Rayna he'd be home by dinner time, but now it was almost eight. He sighed, hoping she wasn't too angry. But he was surprised when he walked in and found her sitting at the kitchen table, one leg pulled up on the chair, hunched over a notebook. He headed for Maddie's crib, but she was asleep. He felt disappointed.

He walked over to Rayna and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered.

She patted his hand and leaned her head back, stretching her back. "Was it a good day?" she asked.

He slid down into the chair next to her and she looked at him. He couldn't read her expression. "Yeah, it was," he said, as he nodded. "Finished 'Woke Up In Nashville' and wrote another one. Met a couple other guys there and we kind of bounced ideas off each other. It was good." He rubbed his hand over her arm. "But I'm sorry I was gone all day. I hate that I missed Maddie."

Rayna smiled a little sadly. "She missed you too." She leaned towards him and he met her halfway, kissing her. "So did I." She took a deep breath and then she pushed the notebook towards him. "I wrote something. I thought maybe you'd look at it. It's not finished, but it's a start."

He pulled the notebook over and began to read.

 _I take a breath and turn the key / I never guessed this would take all of me / One more look at what I'm leaving behind / This cloud of dust is my goodbye_

 _It's long, long road to independence / But I'm leaving you for Tennessee / I've got demons riding shotgun telling me not to go / But what they don't know is I'm already gone / I'm already gone_

 _They say it's easier as time goes by / Why won't these tears stop falling from my eyes / Letting you go wasn't what I'd planned / With every mile the more I understand_

He looked up at her. "Baby, this is great," he said.

She smiled. "The 'you' I'm leaving is Mississippi, Natchez, not you."

He grinned. "Well, that's good." He looked at her carefully. "This could be a great song. I think you need a bridge and you can finish with the chorus. I mean, if you want to."

She seemed to light up. "You think so?" He nodded. "Would you…help me? Finish it?"

He felt confused. "You sure?" She nodded. He breathed in. "What do you want to do with it then?" He didn't understand writing a song nobody would hear.

She ran her tongue over her lips. "Well, I kind of want to talk to you about that." She clasped her hands together on the table in front of her and took a deep breath. "I've been really unfair to you. And to me. And I'm sorry."

"I don't understand, Ray," he said.

She leaned forward and put her hands in her lap. She looked down. "I'm so embarrassed," she whispered.

He moved his chair so he was sitting closer to her. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face up. He could see tears in her eyes and it made his heart hurt. "You don't have to be embarrassed with me, Ray," he said. "Not about nothing."

She breathed in. "I told you the truth, back in Natchez. I did really love to sing. I mean, I do. But it was different there."

He was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

She looked down again, but she grabbed his hand in both of hers. "Because there it was just a lark, kind of. It wasn't real. But when I sang I felt different."

"Different how?"

She looked up at him, a distraught look on her face. "Please don't hate me," she said.

He scooted forward in the chair and put his arms around her waist. "Baby, I could never hate you," he said. "Just tell me."

She looked at him, tears in her eyes, and he felt a lump in his throat at the thought that she was so upset. "It made me feel…oh God…it made me feel like I had choices." She started to cry then. "You know, like I had a future and I could do anything I wanted."

He reached for her hands and held them tightly. He still didn't quite understand what she meant. "You still got that, Ray. You got all the choices you want."

She shook her head. "No, I don't. When I had Maddie, all my choices were gone. All I could be was her mama." She squeezed his hands. "I love her, Deacon, so much. I loved her before she was ever born. I love being her mama, please don't think I don't. But there's only room for one of us to do the things we want. I need to support you and take care of her and it's just better if I don't let myself think I can do that."

He was stunned. His heart broke for her distress and her feeling that she didn't have any choices. "Baby, you can do whatever you want," he said. "Do you want to sing? Do you want to write?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I couldn't do what you do." Suddenly she leaned forward and put her hands on his face. "Please don't think I don't want to take care of you and Maddie. I do. I love our family. This is everything I ever wanted."

He smiled, then kissed her. "But you want more. And I want more for you, baby. If this is what you want, we can do it. We'll make it work."

She looked at him with such hopefulness that his heart nearly broke. "We will?" she asked.

He stood up and, taking her hand, pulled her up, then headed for the couch. He sat and pulled her down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "We're a team," he said. "You and me, Ray, that's how it's supposed to be. No matter what, you can always tell me anything. There ain't nothing you could tell me that would make me turn away. 'Cept if you told me you didn't love me and I would never believe that anyway." She laughed softly and he smiled. "We'll figure this out. 'Cause if it's something you love, I want you to have it."

She looked at him and then the tears started to flow. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I don't deserve you," she said, looking into his eyes.

He shook his head. "Nah, baby, it ain't like that. We're building this thing together. You and me."

She leaned down and kissed him gently. Then she smiled softly at him. "How did I get so lucky?" she asked.

"I'm the lucky one, baby," he said.

She stood up then and took his hand, pulling him up from the couch. She looked up at him, her eyes full of love, and then she turned and led him back to the bedroom.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna closed her eyes as Deacon trailed his lips over her neck. She pushed everything out of her head except what she was feeling. She thought about how warm his lips were against her skin, how his breath tickled her just a little. She focused on the feel of his hands on her shoulders, his calloused thumbs gently skimming her skin in a back-and-forth manner. His skin against hers as he lay heavily on top of her. All of those sensations made her body tingle, from the top of her head all the way to her toes and then back to her very core, where it all seemed to settle finally.

She focused on the feeling of him inside her, firm and warm, and how every in and out movement heightened the sensations she was feeling. She moaned with satisfaction. His lips left her neck and she sensed he was looking at her, so she opened her eyes. He bit down lightly on his lip as he continued the rocking movement and she continued to move her hips in concert with him. His eyes seemed to be looking deep down into her soul and she felt the pleasurable sensations start to intensify.

"Oh, God, Ray, you're so beautiful," he whispered hoarsely and then his lips came down on hers. She closed her eyes again, reveling in the softness of his kiss, letting her tongue graze his. His thrusts inside her became quicker and more forceful and she could feel the sensations concentrate in a tight bud and then start to expand. She unconsciously arched her back, moaning in the back of her throat. His kiss grew more insistent and then he moved in the way that sent her over the edge. She could see fireworks behind her eyes and she gripped him around his back, hanging on as she felt herself falling through the sensations of pleasure. She was only barely conscious of him finding his own release. When it was all over, they clung to each other, breathless as they felt themselves come back down to earth.

He reached a hand up and placed it on her cheek, rubbing his thumb across her temple. He leaned down and kissed her gently and then rolled over onto his side. She turned towards him and put her arm over his waist, letting her fingers glide gently over his back. She kissed his chest, then looked back up at him. "Let's not fight anymore."

He breathed in and then chuckled. "Baby, I think we're gonna fight. We just don't gotta let it lay between us. We just get over it and move on." He rubbed his hand over her shoulder. "It don't change how I feel about you."

She could feel tears in the corners of her eyes, but she grinned at him. "So you forgive me for being a little crazy?" she asked.

He ran his finger down her nose. "I think we're both a little crazy. And there ain't nothing to forgive." He breathed in and his face turned serious. "Don't hide nothing from me anymore, Rayna. I meant it. You can tell me anything, _anything_." She looked at him, just feeling grateful. Then she leaned in to kiss him, pressing herself closer to him. He made a noise. "Ah, baby, you can't touch me like that," he said, with a laugh, as he rolled her onto her back.

* * *

Rayna sat on a bench in the park, a tree providing welcome shade. She smiled as she watched Deacon pushing Maddie on the swings. It had been a lazy morning. He hadn't had to work at the diner and had decided not to go to the publishing house so they could spend the day together. She felt like an incredible weight had been lifted off her shoulders after finally telling him about how she'd been feeling about singing. She actually felt more hopeful than she had since they'd gotten to Nashville that maybe they could work something out.

She had brought her notebook to the park and she turned her attention back to that. Deacon had told her she should come up with a bridge, so she'd been toying with that. She looked at some of what she'd jotted down, trying to capture her thoughts as they were on the road.

 _I stopped to cry at a truck stop in Tupelo / I wanted to turn around on highway 40 / I pulled myself together at the Davidson County line / I thought about the hurt and all the reasons why / I should drive_

It didn't look right and she couldn't figure out the rhyming. It didn't have quite the same cadence as the rest. She knew Deacon could help her figure it out. He'd learned so much in the short time he'd been working with other songwriters. She had been doubtful at first about him needing that help, but when he'd shown her some of the songs he'd written before and some of the even just minor changes he'd made, she could see that he'd gotten even better. He made _her_ want to be better. She put the notebook down and sat back, just looking out towards the horizon, thinking about the morning.

 _After breakfast they'd brought Maddie into bed with them. She had enjoyed the chance to spend some quality time cuddling with her parents and they had enjoyed just having some quiet time with her, although time with Maddie was rarely quiet. Rayna had done this often, when it was just the two of them, but she was enjoying seeing Deacon and Maddie interact. Maddie was into kissing and she would kiss Deacon on the nose or the cheek and then dissolve into giggles. Deacon would kiss her back and tickle her, which just encouraged more giggling._

 _Rayna was grateful that Deacon had accepted Maddie, and fatherhood, so easily. It was a huge adjustment, just as it had been for her, but it would have been easy for him to walk away. He was running a finger down Maddie's nose and she reached out and put her hand on his arm. He looked at her, a question in his eyes. "Thank you," she said softly._

 _He frowned. "For what?"_

 _She shrugged. "Staying. Loving her."_

 _His eyes got that sad, puppy dog look about them. He reached his arm over and laid it on her waist. "I would never have walked away, baby."_

 _She looked at him, then leaned in to plant a kiss on Maddie's nose. When she looked back at him, she said, "Do you ever think about what it would be like if things were different? If we could go back to when we met and make different choices?"_

 _He took a deep breath. "What do you mean?"_

 _She shook her head. "Not that we wouldn't have gotten together," she said, with a tiny smile. "I would never change that. But maybe we just, you know, did things differently. Or if I'd come with you when you left?"_

 _He got a look in his eyes that told her he'd figured what she meant. "I never meant to hurt you, baby, by leaving. If I coulda done it over, I would have."_

 _She nodded. "I know." She ran her fingers over his arm. "Having her changed a lot of things."_

 _He nodded and then put his hand on Maddie's abdomen, which caused her to wiggle and squeal. He smiled down at her, then looked back at Rayna. "Knowing her now? I wouldn't change nothing."_

 _She smiled. "Me either."_

"Hey, baby, whatcha doing?" She looked up to see Deacon standing in front of her, holding Maddie. He sat down next to her and Maddie scrambled out of his arms and reached for Rayna.

"Mama!" she cried and Rayna pulled her onto her lap, giving her a light kiss on the top of the head.

She smiled at Deacon, as she hugged her daughter. "Just thinking about what a great day it's been." She nodded at her notebook. "And thinking about that." He picked it up and looked at it, frowning slightly. "Not good, is it?"

He looked up. "I think you got the right idea, but the words don't paint a picture exactly." He took her pencil and crossed out some things and added some others. Then he handed the notebook to her. "Look at this."

She took the notebook. Maddie tried to grab it too. "Baby, let Mama read," she said, leaning into Maddie's ear. She read through the changes Deacon had made and then looked up. "But, honey, we didn't drive on Highway 65 or go to Arkansas or Cheatham County," she said, pronouncing Cheatham as 'cheat ham'.

He laughed. "It don't matter. Highway 65 don't go through Arkansas or Cheatham County either," he said, pronouncing the county name correctly.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. "Cheat 'em. Got it. But isn't someone gonna say I don't know my directions or places?"

He shrugged. "Well, maybe, but you also don't say you're coming from Natchez, so it don't much matter. It's the idea, that you almost turn around, that you stop somewhere to cry, and that you get yourself together before you get where you're going." He grinned. "Plus you gotta get the syllable stuff right."

She smirked. "Did you learn that in songwriting class?"

He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. "I did." He laid his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb. "Why don't we head home and we can work on the music for it?" She nodded and he slid a little closer to her, kissing her again, while Maddie sat between them, squealing happily.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon was glad Rayna was going with him to record his demo. He was even happier that she had asked to go with him. He had practiced the three songs Watty wanted to record the night before for Rayna and Maddie. Maddie, of course, had loved them but, as Rayna always told him, she loved everything. But he had seen the look on Rayna's face as she'd listened to each one and that, more than anything, had encouraged him. He could see that they had touched her heart. Each one had been written with her in mind, in one way or another, but she had loved them anyway.

He got in the truck and then sat for a moment, his hands on the wheel, breathing in. She turned towards him and put her hand on his arm. "Are you nervous?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "A little," he said. He breathed out and let go with a short laugh. "A lot, actually. I mean, I know it's just so Watty can give 'em to artists looking for new songs, but it's a big deal. I mean, if someone buys one, Ray, it could be the start of something big."

She bit her lip. "You haven't really gone out and done any open mics or anything since we've been here. Don't you still want to perform?" she asked. After he'd stopped trying to get her to go with him, it hadn't been a topic of conversation anymore.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just been concentrating on writing. Besides, if I do that, it takes me away from you and Maddie more. I didn't bring you here to not be around."

She twisted her hands in her lap. "I still want you to follow your dream, babe." She looked at him. "I think you should do more of that. I mean, Myra can keep Maddie or Audrey. I'd like to see you on stage again."

He smiled. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I know you want to, Deacon."

He breathed out. "Yeah, I do." He reached for her hand. "But we got this first, so let's go."

* * *

When he finished the third song, Deacon sat back and looked through the glass into the sound room. Rayna was beaming at him and he smiled back. Watty switched on the intercom. "Deacon, that was great," he said. Deacon started to stand. "Hold on a second," Watty said, and he stopped, leaving the intercom on. Watty looked at Rayna. "I really liked 'Surrender' and Deacon told me you two wrote it together," he said.

Rayna glanced over at Deacon. He wondered if she was angry, but she didn't look that way. She looked back at Watty. "Yes, sir, we did," he heard her say.

"Would you be willing to sing it with him for the demo?" Watty asked.

Rayna looked at Deacon again, then back at Watty. "I'm not really the professional here," she said.

Watty shook his head. "It's just a demo. You don't have to be the best singer. I just want to get it out there."

Rayna hesitated and Deacon held his breath. Now that he understood what was bothering her so much, he didn't want to put her in a position she was uncomfortable with. But she surprised him. She nodded at Watty. "Okay," she said.

Watty came out into the studio with her and helped her with her headphones and got her a stool to sit on. Then he went back into the sound room. Deacon turned to her. "You sure about this, baby?" he asked. "You don't have to do it."

She shook her head and smiled shyly. "It's okay," she said. "If it helps you, I can do it."

He reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. "You can start when you're ready," Watty said over the intercom.

Deacon took a deep breath and looked at Rayna. "You ready?" She smiled and nodded. He started the song and she joined in, the way they'd sung it for Maddie. She looked into his eyes and he found himself getting so wrapped up in the words and the music and what it meant, that everything else around him seemed to fade away. The only thing he was conscious of was Rayna, sitting next to him, their knees touching, and she was singing to him, everything they felt about each other. When they were done, he leaned in and kissed her gently. "You were great, baby," he whispered.

Watty came out then and they turned to look at him. He had an odd look on his face as he approached. He stood for a moment, steepling his fingers in front of his mouth. Then he looked at Rayna. "Are you sure you don't want to do this professionally?" he asked, finally.

She looked at Deacon, then back at Watty. "Oh, I just did this for Deacon," she said. "He's the talented one."

Watty nodded. "Oh, he is very talented. He's an amazing songwriter and he's going to probably be one of the premiere guitar players in country music one day. But what he needed on stage was a female voice who could take all of that and make it something special." He smiled at her. "You're that voice."

Deacon looked at Rayna as she took that in. He could see her hesitance, knew she was about to tell him no. She took a deep breath. "That's really nice of you, Mr. White, but you're right." She turned and looked at Deacon. "Deacon's the talent. Not me."

Watty shook his head. "No, you're wrong about that, Rayna. And Deacon told me you sang some professionally."

Rayna made a face. "In a bar. In Natchez, Mississippi," she said.

Watty laughed. "That's how everyone starts out, my little songbird. You know, when I first heard Deacon, he was singing with his sister. I knew his music was good and he can hold his own in a duet, but it wasn't until I heard him sing with you that I saw the real potential. The two of you are magic together. You feel the words. I could see that you both were so into the song that you'd shut everything else out. That's what made it great." He crossed his arms. "I don't want to shop this one to anyone. I want the two of you to record it and put it out there." He looked from Deacon to Rayna. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," Rayna said.

"We'll talk about it, Watty," Deacon jumped in. "Tonight, we'll talk about it."

Watty put one hand up to his mouth and then nodded. "Alright then. I'll be waiting to hear from you." He turned and walked out of the studio.

Deacon turned to look at Rayna, who had a shocked look on her face. "Did that just happen?" she asked.

He let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I think it did." He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. "We got a lot to talk about tonight, baby," he said.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Ever since they'd left the studio, Rayna had felt like everything around her was bathed in some gauzy light. She heard voices and was aware of her surroundings, but it was as though she were awake in a dream. She thought about what Watty had said. _The two of you are magic together._ She had to admit to herself that the idea of it excited her. She knew Watty was right, that there was something special when the two of them sang together. She'd known it when he'd been on stage with her at the Landslide and she'd felt it in the studio earlier.

She had no idea how they would make this work, but she surprised herself by wanting to try.

* * *

They stopped at a Mexican restaurant for a late lunch. The place was warm and welcoming, even though it was simple and had a limited menu. Neither one of them had a huge appetite and settled for basic tacos and tortilla soup. Rayna was still quiet, contemplative, as she dragged her spoon slowly back and forth in her bowl. "Baby, you okay?" Deacon asked, concern in his eyes.

She looked up at him and gave him a ghost of a smile. "I'm fine," she said.

He frowned. "You're not fine," he said.

She sighed. "I'm _fine_ , Deacon," she said, a little more sternly than she'd meant to. She put the spoon down and reached across the table for his hand. He put his hand over hers, squeezing it lightly. She smiled apologetically. "Just doing a lot of thinking."

He raised his eyebrows. "About?"

She looked at him and smiled. "Us. Maddie. What's next." She breathed out. "This is huge, you know?" She bit her lip. "And I worry a little about you."

He looked surprised. "Me? Why?" he asked.

She shrugged. "This was always _your_ dream, babe, not mine. But now I'm gonna be part of that. And I don't want to take away from your dream. I don't want to stand in your way."

He shook his head. "Baby, no. You ain't doing that. I don't need no limelight. I'm happy being next to you on stage." He smiled. "Being the one who gets to take you home."

She smiled. "I wouldn't do any of this without you, Deacon. This is all _because_ of you."

"We're doing it together, baby."

She nodded. "Yeah, we are." She tilted her head slightly to one side. "I want to change one thing though."

He looked a little nervous. "What?"

She moved her hand so she could thread her fingers through his. "I'm gonna change my name. I mean, after everything, I just, well, I don't wanna be Rayna Wyatt. I've thought a lot about this and I want to take my mama's name. I'll be Rayna Jaymes." She took a deep breath. "What do you think?"

He smiled, his eyes twinkling at her. "I think that sounds perfect, baby. Rayna Jaymes, the queen of country music."

She laughed. "Well, I think I'm a long way from _that_. And we're a duo anyway. But I like how it sounds. Deacon Claybourne and Rayna Jaymes."

He laughed with her. "I think that sounds just right."

* * *

Rayna ran out of the bedroom. Deacon was at the kitchen table with Maddie, while she ate her dinner. He looked up at her as she spread out her arms. "Does this look okay?" she asked. She was wearing a gingham blouse and jean skirt, along with her boots. This was the third change of clothes. She knew she was being silly, but thankfully Deacon was being a good sport about it.

Deacon smiled at her and Maddie twisted around in her high chair. "You look great, baby," he said.

"Gweat!" Maddie yelled, waving her spoon.

Rayna walked briskly to the table, standing behind Maddie. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulders and then leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you, sweet girl," she said. She looked at Deacon again. "You sure this is okay?" she asked. "I mean, it's the Bluebird."

"Baby, all they'll be interested in is your voice," he said, then he winked. "But you do look pretty and that won't hurt."

She sighed. "What about my hair? Should I put it in a ponytail? What do you think, babe?"

He shook his head, laughing. "I always like it on your shoulders, Ray. Like you got it now."

She patted her hair. "Okay." Just then there was a knock on the door and she went over to let Coleman and Audrey in. They had been so helpful at watching Maddie when she and Deacon had made the open mic rounds. "Hey, y'all, come on in," she said.

"We're so excited for you, playing at the Bluebird tonight," Audrey said, as she squeezed Rayna's hand. "Are you nervous?"

Rayna nodded. "Yes, I am." She took a deep breath. "But Deacon and I are doing it together, so it makes me feel better."

"Aw-dee!" Maddie shouted, waving her spoon again and bouncing in the high chair. She raised both her arms up and made a face. "Her out! Now!" Audrey hurried over and pulled Maddie out of the high chair, taking the spoon from her hand and laying it on the tray. She kissed Maddie on the cheek and Maddie squealed with pleasure.

Rayna smiled and then squeezed Coleman's arm. "Thank y'all so much for doing this," she said. "At least we won't be late." Open mic was at six, so they would be home by nine. Deacon got up and came over to take her hand, but she pulled away so she could kiss Maddie. "Be good, sweet girl," she cooed at her daughter. "Mama and Daddy will see you later."

Maddie blew a kiss. "Bye!"

Deacon grabbed Rayna's hand again. "Come on, baby, or we'll be late," he said, as he pulled her to the door.

* * *

Watty was the one who had arranged for them to perform at the Bluebird open mic. Typically you had to hope your name was drawn, but Watty had pull. It didn't make Rayna any less nervous. Since the day of the demo, she and Deacon had done numerous open mics and played other small paying gigs. She had gotten more comfortable with performing on stage, but she had to admit that having Deacon beside her had made it easier. It felt good to sing and not feel like she was shortchanging Maddie. Deacon had been right – she did have choices and being able to do this had felt very fulfilling.

She had no illusions beyond just performing on stage for people who would enjoy what they did. They mostly sang Deacon's songs, but he'd helped her finish the song she'd started, that she called 'Already Gone', and they performed that as well. What she really wanted to do was write with him and they had started toying with some ideas. Even though Watty had wanted to put their demo of 'Surrender' out in the market, there hadn't been any bites yet. It was hard to get on country radio, especially when you were unknown, even with someone like Watty White in your corner.

Rayna had been a little surprised at how small the Bluebird space was, but it still felt like hallowed ground. She had stumbled getting up on the stage and Deacon had grabbed her elbow to steady her. It had been comforting to have him standing with her, sharing the mic. They sang 'A Life That's Good' first, to enthusiastic applause. That gave her more confidence and calmed the butterflies that had been in her stomach since the minute they'd stepped foot in the door. But it was 'Surrender' that made her forget where she stood, even where she was. Looking into Deacon's eyes as she sang, it felt like there was no one there but him.

The applause from the audience brought her back to the present and she realized, as she looked at Deacon, that he had been as wrapped up in the song as she was. She would forever remember that night as the point in time when she knew everything that came after was inevitable. It wasn't just Deacon's dream anymore. It was her dream too.


	25. Chapter 25

_**~Deacon~**_

Two days after their appearance at the Bluebird, Watty asked Deacon and Rayna to come to his office. "What do you think it's about, honey?" Rayna asked, as she put on her makeup in the bathroom.

Deacon was leaning against the door jamb. "Since he wanted both of us, I'm guessing it has something to do with 'Surrender'," he replied. "You know he wanted to put it out there."

She paused and looked at him, holding her mascara in her hand. "Maybe he got it on the radio?" she said, her voice rising up with excitement.

He shrugged. "Maybe. But I don't know if stuff happens that way."

She turned back to the mirror and applied mascara to her lashes. "I'm nervous, Deacon," she said.

He chuckled. "Don't be nervous, baby. It'll be all good." Of course, he knew it might not. He'd spent all that time with Beverly, trying to get someone interested and it had never happened. He'd been lucky to run into Watty that one night, but that was no guarantee. But he liked seeing Rayna excited and so he didn't want to burst her bubble.

* * *

He walked around the truck, in the downtown parking garage at Watty's label, and opened the door for Rayna. He reached for her hand and helped her out. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at her. She looked so pretty, in her sundress and sweater. Ever since she'd been able to be honest with him about her feelings about singing, it seemed like the stress of it had lifted off of her. He hadn't even realized it until he saw her now, looking so radiant. They'd been in Nashville for three months and things seemed to be looking up for them.

She took his hand as they walked towards the elevator. "You've been here before, right?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled and looked at him, excitement lighting up her eyes. "What's it like? A real record label?"

He shrugged. "It's an office, like any other office." He paused. "Probably like your father's office." She frowned and rolled her eyes. "But the lobby has record covers on the wall. All kinds of artists. Like Travis Tritt and Tanya Tucker." He bumped her shoulder. "Merle."

She was all smiles again. "Really? Oh, wow, Deacon! This is the big time, isn't it?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it is." They got in the elevator and he had to smile as she bounced lightly on her toes the whole way up. He loved seeing the excitement and wonder on her face.

Once they were in the lobby, she left him on the couch so she could go check out the album covers of Sony's large stable of artists. He smiled as he watched her stop at her favorites, touching the framed covers almost reverently. He then thought about their meeting with Watty, wondering what it was about. Watty hadn't given them any hints and he wondered if it had to do with their performance at the Bluebird.

 _Watty came up to Deacon and Rayna, standing at the bar. "That was quite a performance," he said._

" _I was so nervous," Rayna said._

 _Watty shook his head. "I would never have known, my little songbird. You were flawless."_

" _This was just so exciting," she said. "I mean, we've done other open mics, but this was special."_

 _Watty looked at Deacon. "I hadn't heard that first one before. Is that new?"_

 _Deacon shook his head. "I wrote that back in high school."_

 _Watty nodded contemplatively. "It has a real sweetness to it. The two of you doing it together felt really right." Deacon looked at Rayna and she gave him a tiny smile. Watty put down his glass. "I'll be in touch, probably in a couple days. Good job tonight." And he was gone._

Rayna came back and sat down next to him and he turned his attention to her. She pointed at the far wall. "There's 'It's All in the Game'," she said. "Probably one of my top two or three favorite Merle albums."

He nodded. "It's a good one, for sure."

Just then Watty appeared in front of them. "Hey there, you two," he said, with a smile. "Come on back." They followed him into his office and sat in the two chairs across from his desk. When he sat down, he smiled at them. "I have some good news." He steepled his fingers under his chin. "There were several industry people at the Bluebird the other night. And I got several calls about the two of you."

Rayna smiled and looked at Deacon, taking his hand and threading her fingers through his. She turned back to Watty. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yes. I was hoping that would happen, even though I really had no intention of letting you go anywhere else." He paused, putting his hands flat on his desk and leaning slightly forward. "We have a fairly new imprint label here, Edgehill Records, that I think would be perfect for you. They would be able to give you all the attention you need and nurture you."

Deacon sat forward as Rayna squeezed his hand. "A record deal?" he asked.

Watty made a face. "More like a development deal. But it would lead to a record, would be the idea."

Deacon frowned. "I don't understand."

"I pitched you two as singer/songwriters, but Deacon, you're really the one who has the song catalog, even though it's not particularly large right now. And most of what you've written would not be songs I would see Rayna singing. We would need more like 'Surrender'. And songs that highlight her voice." Watty sat back in his chair.

"Why can't I sing Deacon's songs?" Rayna asked, looking first at Watty and then at Deacon, a slight frown on her face. "I do now."

Watty shook his head. "We really need to have songs that complement your voice. And the female point of view. I'd really be interested in seeing what else the two of you could write together."

Deacon sat back in his chair. He thought he knew where Watty was headed with this. "But we can both sing," Rayna protested. "I'm not sure why it matters. He can sing lead and I can harmonize or the other way around. And 'Surrender' is a duet. We could do more of those."

Watty sat for a moment and Deacon kept his eye on Rayna, who was sitting almost at the edge of her chair at this point. "Well, the thing is, Rayna, the feedback that I got is that the spotlight really should be on you. Yes, you can both sing, and Deacon complements you extremely well, but you have a voice that people are drawn to. The two of you could still do duets, but you would be the artist out front."

Rayna put her hands on the arms of the chair. She turned and looked at Deacon and he looked back at her, raising his eyebrows. Then she looked back at Watty. "No. This is _Deacon's_ dream. _He's_ the one you should be focused on."

Deacon reached out and put his hand on her arm and she looked at him, concern on her face. "It's okay, baby," he said.

She turned towards him. "No, it's not. We didn't come here so I could be a singer. We came here for _you_. I'm just along for the ride." She frowned and turned back to Watty. "No. I don't think this is what we want then. I'm not doing this on my own."

Watty shook his head. "No, no, my dear, you wouldn't be doing it on your own. I still want you and Deacon together. You would just be the featured artist."

Rayna shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I don't know if I could do that."

Deacon reached for her hand. "Watty, we'll talk about it," he said.

Rayna looked at him and scowled. "No, we won't," she said firmly.

Deacon narrowed his eyes and set his jaw. "We'll talk about it," he said, evenly. Rayna looked at him for a moment and then she got up and walked out of the office, leaving Watty and Deacon. Deacon watched her as she walked out and then turned back to Watty. "We'll talk about it," he said as he got up from the chair.

Watty stood as well. "Deacon, you're a great songwriter. A great guitar player. Your voice blends perfectly with hers. I don't mean for you to feel you're not a part of this."

Deacon shook his head. "She's the star," he said quietly. "I know it. I could see it when I watched her in Natchez." He shrugged. "She'll come around." He reached across the desk to shake Watty's hand. "Thanks for everything."

"Do this, Deacon. I think this will be the right thing for both of you."

Deacon just nodded and then turned to walk out of Watty's office. He stood for a moment in the hallway, taking in what had just transpired. He took a deep breath. Rayna hadn't been completely wrong. It had been his dream to make it in the music business. There was a part of him that felt let down that he wouldn't be front and center. But he'd also known, when he'd seen Rayna perform that night at the Landslide, the night he'd come back to Natchez, that she was something special. He knew he could write a song and he'd seen the start of Rayna's own ability to write songs as well. They would still do this together. _It's okay._

He headed down the hall to the reception area but Rayna wasn't there. He started to feel a little worried that she'd just left, but when he walked out to the elevator, he saw her standing by the window, looking down at the street below. He walked up to her and leaned against the window. "I think it's a good offer, baby," he said.

She turned to look at him and he could see she'd been crying. "No, it's not, Deacon," she said, shaking her head. "Coming to Nashville was for _you_. This was _your_ dream."

He reached for her hand. "You said it was your dream now too," he said quietly.

She pulled her hand away and looked back out the window. "But it's not my dream to push you out," she said stubbornly.

He gave her a half-smile. "Baby, you ain't pushing me out. I'm still right there. Standing right next to you. Singing in your ear. Playing guitar. Standing there next to you."

She looked at him. "I can't do this, Deacon," she said softly. "I don't want to be the face, or whatever it was Watty said."

He took a step closer. "Ray, this is your chance to make a choice. We both got choices now. I still can write and you can write with me. I get to stand on the stage and sing with the love of my life." She smiled shyly. "I can sing about how much I love you and get lost in your pretty blue eyes."

She turned then and put her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. "There's no Rayna without Deacon. I could never do this without you," she said.

He kissed her. "You ain't never gonna have to," he said. He pulled her closer and she tipped her hips towards him. He leaned in and nuzzled her neck. "I wanna get you home, baby."

She giggled. "Me too," she said.

He kissed her again, then let her go, taking her hand and leading her to the elevator.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

The apartment was dark and quiet. Maddie had gone down surprisingly easily, only needing two songs to fall fast asleep in Rayna's arms. She and Deacon had stood beside her crib, watching their daughter sleep, holding hands. They had sat at the kitchen table for a while, working out their schedule, doing a little writing together. _No one will ever love you, like I do._ Those words kept coming back to them and, although they weren't able to come up with something they liked to go along with it, there was no frustration, just satisfaction in the process. They would come back to it, that she knew.

The one thing they hadn't done was talk about the meeting with Watty. She wasn't ready for that yet and he'd seemed to sense that. It was one more thing about the two of them that surprised her sometimes, that he knew her so well, that he knew when to give her space. He was patient. He would wait for her. She somehow knew, deep inside her, that he would always wait, however long she needed, whatever it was.

And now, as he had sunk into her and she had taken him in fully and completely, she thought there was no other place she wanted to be. No place other than this small apartment, cramped and shabby, but filled with love and laughter. No place other than the bed they slept in, with the slightly lumpy mattress and the stiff sheets, so unlike the soft sheets she had on her smooth, feathery bed in Natchez. No place other than this city, that sounded like music day and night, that inspired them both, that had welcomed then and enveloped them. No place other than with this man, whom she had first met as a boy, really, when she was still a girl, this man who made her feel more loved than she had ever felt in her life. This man to whom she felt a connection that she didn't have the words yet to describe. He had touched her soul, back when she was sixteen and he was seventeen, awakened something in her heart she couldn't name.

She shivered as his fingers lingered over her skin. "You cold, baby?" he whispered, his voice thick with his desire.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered back. "I feel amazing."

He raised his head slightly and looked in her eyes, running his tongue over his lips. "I love you, Ray," he said, his eyes filled with such emotion.

She smiled slightly. "I love you too." He slid his hand up and cupped her breast, rubbing her nipple with his thumb. She moaned breathlessly as she felt the little zings of electricity run through her. When his tongue replaced his thumb, she arched her back and slid her hands down his back. And then the combination of the roughness of his tongue and his quickened movement inside her sent her on a tidal wave of pleasure and she cried out over and over, barely hearing his own cries of release.

* * *

The sun peeking in through the curtains woke her up. She was laying with her head on Deacon's shoulder. His breathing was light and even and so she stayed still, not wanting to wake him up. She thought back to the day before, the meeting in Watty's office. She had not expected him to propose what he had and she worried about Deacon. She wasn't at all sure she could do what Watty had suggested. She had come to Nashville to support Deacon. He'd acted like it was all okay, but she found it hard to believe.

While she had stood at the window by the elevator, she had actually found herself wondering what it would be like to stand on a stage, in front of thousands of people, and sing. She wasn't sure they'd even performed yet for a hundred people, so thousands seemed very overwhelming. It wasn't that she'd never performed as a solo artist, of course, because she had. But doing it at the Landslide was different. Those people were her friends or at least they were hometown fans who were welcoming and inclusive. It wouldn't be that way in an arena. If they even made it that far.

She thought about what she'd told Deacon about making choices. And he'd thrown that back at her. _Ray, this is your chance to make a choice. We both got choices now._ She had liked what he'd said about writing together. She thought she would like that part. And singing to each other, she liked that as well. He was right. This was a chance to have a choice. But at what cost?

The baby monitor came alive. "Mama!"

Deacon sat straight up, pushing her off to the side. "What?" he said, his voice groggy.

Rayna smiled. She wasn't sure why they used the monitor. Maddie wasn't far from their door and she was loud enough that she could be heard over top of the monitor. She rolled onto her back and pulled the covers up. "It's your turn," she said, looking up at Deacon.

He turned and looked down at her, his eyes still heavy with sleep, his hair sticking up on his head. "Okay," he mumbled. He rubbed his face, then breathed out heavily. Then he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, his back to Rayna.

She rolled onto her side and smiled. "You have a really cute butt, babe," she said. He looked back at her over his shoulder and smirked. "Seriously. You do," she said, laughing.

He reached for a pair of boxers and pulled them on, then turned to face her. "Thank you for the compliment," he said with a laugh. "You have a pretty nice one too."

"Out!" came Maddie's angry voice over the monitor and through the wall.

Deacon grinned. "I guess I better get her out," he said. Rayna smiled as he turned away and headed for the door, then she laid back on the pillow and closed her eyes.

She could hear the sound of their voices, her man and their daughter. It was the sweetest sound she thought she'd ever heard. She wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to her, that she could meet someone who would sweep her off her feet and still make her as happy as she was. They came from such different backgrounds and circumstances and yet together they fit each other perfectly. She knew they'd grow old together and that she would love sitting and looking in his eyes as much in fifty years as she did now.

Then she rolled onto her side and sighed. This thing with Watty was gnawing at her. Even as she tried, she was finding it hard to get comfortable with it. She'd only just acknowledged that she wanted to sing. _Needed_ to sing. Now this. _I don't understand why I have to do it this way. Why can't we just keep doing what we're doing? Play at places around town. Raise up Maddie. Be happy. Why does it have to be more?_ She tucked the sheet closer around her. Deacon hadn't brought Maddie back in the bedroom, so she wondered what they were doing. But she didn't really want to get out of bed, because she knew at some point they would have to talk about this development deal Watty had proposed.

Deacon wanted to do it. She knew he did. She'd seen something in his eyes. Heard it in his voice. She wondered if she could ever get to the place where she wanted it the same way he did.

* * *

"Well, sweetie, it sounds like a really great opportunity to me," Tandy said. "Why don't you want to do it?"

Deacon had taken Maddie to the park and Rayna had just told her sister about the deal Watty White had proposed to them the day before. "Because," she said, knowing that wasn't a satisfactory answer.

"Because why?" Tandy asked. "Is it because you're afraid Deacon will resent you?"

Rayna gasped. "No. Of course not." But she knew that was part of it. "Not really."

"Rayna, you're doing it again. Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel." Rayna didn't know how to answer that. "He's not a mind reader," Tandy went on. "And he's not going to change the way he feels about you if you tell him this."

Rayna sighed. "I just don't want to disappoint him, Tandy. This is his dream, after all. To make it in the music business. I don't want to be the one who gets in the way of that."

"Talk to him, sweetheart. If you don't, you'll just end up resenting _him_." Tandy paused a minute. "And be honest with yourself too, while you're at it. I think you really want this and you need to admit that."

* * *

Rayna walked over to the kitchen table after putting Maddie down for her nap. Deacon looked up when she sat down. "So, we gonna talk about the Watty thing?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I guess." She was still a little rattled after her conversation with Tandy. She felt so confused.

He frowned. "Do you not want to do it?"

She could see the tension in his body. "I don't know, babe. I mean, it's not a sure thing. It's not a record deal. It's just a 'let's see what happens' deal. And I like what we're doing now."

He worked his lip and then breathed out. "Rayna, it'll lead to a record. We'll get more exposure. There ain't no downside I can see," he said. His voice was tight.

She narrowed her eyes. "You make it sound so simple. But what if it doesn't work out? And I suppose we have to go places outside of Nashville. What about Maddie?"

He raised his eyebrows. "We bring her with us," he said.

"Who's gonna watch her, Deacon?"

He lifted his hands. "I don't know, Rayna. We'd have to figure it out." He sounded exasperated, which just made her mad.

She frowned. "That's not a very good answer, Deacon. But maybe I should have expected that. It's not like you know what it's like to be a parent."

He scowled at her. "That ain't true, Rayna. I've been being a parent ever since I knew about Maddie. And it ain't like I known about her that long."

She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's just it. You don't know how complicated it is to take care of a child, to make sure her needs are met. You didn't carry her inside your body or give birth to her or take care of her – _all alone_ – like I did. All I do is make sure that Maddie is taken care of. And now you just want to go out on the road, like we don't have a care in the world, and you're not even _thinking_ about our daughter."

He leaned forward, his face dark. "That ain't fair. And it ain't all true. I ain't pretending like we don't got a care in the world, Ray. But right now all we got is what I make at the diner and any paying gigs. And that's barely enough to get by. Going out on the road could mean bigger venues. And more money."

She shrugged. "Or not." She pointed her finger at him. "And you're willing to give up being the front man for me? When _you_ were the one who wanted to do this?"

"It don't matter, Rayna. I done told you that already and I meant it." He rubbed his face. "And that about me not caring about Maddie. That's just wrong and you know it."

She could see the hurt in his eyes and it stabbed at her heart, but she just didn't see how they could do this. "This plan just won't work, Deacon," she said stubbornly.

He looked down at the table and shook his head. He looked back at her and then got up from the table, walking into the kitchen and standing at the counter. "So, what, you just decided that? For the both of us?" he asked, looking incredulous.

"Well, somebody had to, Deacon. Somebody with a clear head. I mean, I'm not going to be a solo artist. If we're doing this, it's together."

He shook his head again with a frustrated laugh. "We _would_ be doing this together, Ray. We would write songs. _Together_. We'd be on stage singing. _Together_." He eyed her carefully. "How do you figure we're _not_ doing this together?"

She looked away. "You would just resent me, Deacon." She looked back at him. "If we do it Watty's way, then it becomes _my_ career. And that's not what I'm in this for."

He looked at her as though he didn't understand anything she'd said. Then he shook his head again and rubbed his face. "I just…well, I just don't get you." He rocked back and forth on this feet for a moment, then pointed his finger at her, raising his voice. "You need to figure out what it is you want to do. 'Cause I can't keep going on this merry-go-round with you. One minute, you want this, the next minute, you use Maddie as an excuse." He raised his eyebrows. "I just can't do this, with you, right now." He turned and walked out the door, leaving her to stare after him, her heart in her throat.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon stormed out of the apartment and out to the street. He walked up to his truck and then realized he didn't have his keys. He wasn't going back in the house though, so he started walking. He didn't understand Rayna. First it was the whole thing around singing making her feel like she wasn't being a good mama. Now it was focusing on who would take care of Maddie instead of on the opportunity. He felt like a ping pong ball, being bounced back and forth. The past few months had been more than he'd hoped for. Singing on stage with her had been fantastic, better than he could have imagined, and more satisfying than the time he'd spent with Beverly.

So he didn't understand why she seemed to throw up roadblocks at every turn. _Is she scared? Is she unhappy? Is it something else?_ He thought she was happy, but now he wasn't so sure, and that scared him. And what she'd said about being Maddie's father. That had hurt. It had felt like she blamed him for not being there, when she'd said all along that she didn't. He felt like he'd been a good father to Maddie and done his best to be involved, even if it hadn't been what he'd planned for.

He looked up and realized he had walked to Shelby's house. He hoped she was there, because he really needed a friend. He walked up the steps and knocked, then stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets. There was no answer and he stepped forward and knocked again. Then he turned and looked towards the street, but didn't see Shelby's car anywhere close. He sighed. _Damn._ He didn't want to go home, but he had nowhere else to go, so he trudged down the steps and retraced his steps.

* * *

When he got back to the Carlisle's house, he saw Coleman Carlisle sitting outside on the front steps. He waved and Coleman waved back. He liked the older man. He knew Cole worked for the Metro government, in the Mayor's office. Cole and Audrey were native Nashvillians, although they had not met until after college. Deacon headed up the walk and then up the steps, sitting down next to his landlord.

"So, what's going on, Deacon?" Cole asked, with a smile.

Deacon gave him a tight smile, squinting a little against the sun. "Just walking," he said.

Cole nodded and looked towards the sun, then back at Deacon. "How'd your meeting go?" he asked.

Deacon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, shaking his head. "I thought it went good," he said. "Watty offered us a development deal, he called it. Wants us to write some more, keep playing, work towards a record."

Cole reached his hand out to shake Deacon's and smiled. "Well, that sounds like it was a very good meeting then," he said.

Deacon took his hand, then looked down at his feet. "I don't know. Rayna don't seem that excited about it."

Cole frowned. "How do you mean?"

Deacon sighed and then looked out towards the street. "I don't know, Cole. I mean, Watty wants her to be out front and she, well, she don't want to do it, don't seem like." He looked back at Cole.

"But I thought you two were playing together around town and she seemed to enjoy it. She's told Audrey how much she's enjoyed it."

Deacon shrugged. "I don't know anymore. Things seem to be real smooth and then something happens and it's like I don't know her." He lowered his head. "I wonder if sometimes she wishes she'd stayed in Natchez."

Cole was quiet for a moment, then said, "Have the two of you talked about that?"

Deacon shook his head. "Not really. She says she's glad she's here, but it all happened real quick." He worked his lip. "When I left Natchez, she was pregnant with Maddie. I didn't know that and I didn't know her father sent her away then. I was supposed to come back for her when she graduated, but I didn't." He breathed in. "I had gone back before and she was gone, so I figured she'd left for good. But she hadn't."

"So how did you end up going back again?"

"My friend Vince died. He and my sister and her boyfriend and me all went to Memphis, then came here. I took him back to Natchez and saw that Rayna was singing at a local bar. I went to see her and a week later we was driving back here."

Cole looked over at him. "What's the future for the two of you? Have you talked about that?"

"Singing together, I thought."

Cole shook his head. "No, I mean more personally. I mean, I know the two of you are together and you're raising Maddie, but what's the future look like?" He looked over at Deacon. "Maybe that's what she needs to know." He leaned forward. "Sounds like she uprooted her life for you. She strikes me as a girl who wants to be settled. There's been a lot of change and now it sounds like even more. Maybe she just needs to feel settled."

Deacon took a deep breath. He hadn't thought about that in a long time. He had wondered, early on, about whether they should get married, but then things happened quickly and now they were here and he just hadn't thought about it again. They were together and they loved each other. They were raising Maddie together. They called themselves a family. But maybe she needed more. He looked over at Cole. "Maybe you're right," he said. He reached his hand out and Cole took it. "Thanks."

He got up and walked down the steps, then around the back to the apartment.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

They hadn't talked much, but the silence had felt comforting rather than awkward or troubling. All Rayna had had to do was look in Deacon's eyes to see how sorry he was they had fought. She knew she felt the same.

 _When he came in the back door, she would have sworn he looked relieved, when she knew she was the one who had more reason to feel that way. She had walked over to him and reached her hand up to his face. She felt him put his hand on the small of her back and nudge her closer to him. "I'm so sorry," she said, and then he kissed her, not letting her say anything else._

 _When he pulled his lips away, he put his forehead against hers. "Baby, it's okay," he whispered._

 _She felt tears in her eyes. "I don't want to push you away," she said._

 _He gave her a lopsided smile. "Rayna, you ain't never gonna be able to push me away."_

 _She laughed through her tears. "Me either." She bit her lip. "I know we need to talk about the Edgehill thing."_

 _He shook his head. "We'll talk about that tomorrow. I got someplace I want to show you."_

They had left Maddie with Cole and Audrey and then driven to the park along the river. They took a short walk towards the river and then up on a bridge that spanned the Cumberland River. "No cars are allowed on this bridge," he said. "And it's got a great view of Nashville."

She smiled at him. "We just had this great view of Nashville from the park," she pointed out.

He shrugged and smiled shyly. "I know. But I like this better."

She slid her hand up his arm and bumped against him a little. "I really do like Nashville, Deacon," she said. "I'm glad we came."

"Me too. And I'm glad you like it." He sighed. "I wish we could have a better place, but…."

She shook her head and bumped against him again. "It's _fine_ , babe."

"Well, I wish I could do better," he said. "You deserve better."

They were starting to crest the rise in the bridge. "As long as we're together, that's all I need," she said. She stopped then and turned to him, her face lighting up. "Oh, Deacon, this is amazing," she cried. There was something very different about looking at the city skyline from the bridge. It felt special.

He stepped into one of the viewing decks and drew her in with him. She leaned against him and he put his arms around her as they looked at the view. He kissed her shoulder. Then he moved in front of her and got down on one knee. She gasped and put a hand over her mouth, as he held on to the other one. He looked up at her and she could see tears in his eyes. "Rayna, I love you so much. Will you marry me?"

She was suddenly crying, even though she'd never felt happier in her life. "Oh, Deacon," she murmured. "Of course I'll marry you!" She leaned down and put her hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood up and took her in his arms, twirling her around and laughing. When he put her down, he kissed her again. "Oh, baby, you just made me the happiest guy ever!" he cried. He bit his lip. "I wish I had a ring, but I promise, when I get my first songwriting check, I will."

She slid the promise ring off her right hand and held it out to him. "We can use this," she said. "You made a promise to me and you came back. Now it can be the promise of our lives together forever."

He took the ring from her and slid it on her left ring finger. "So now we're official?" he asked.

She grinned at him. "Yeah, we're official." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting her head back slightly to look up at him. "I love you. Forever and always."

 _ **A/N: I took some dramatic license with the use of the bridge, as it had not yet been turned into a pedestrian bridge during the approximate timeline of this story. But since it's such an iconic part of Deacon and Rayna's story, it seemed appropriate to play with the timing a little for the purposes of this story.**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**~Deacon~**_

He would never forget the way she looked, when he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. A huge smile played over her face and he thought she'd never looked prettier, standing there with the breeze lifting her hair and the sun lighting her up. He hadn't been at all prepared. He'd just known he had to do it. When Cole had told him he thought Rayna was the kind of girl who needed to be settled, he'd known instantly what to do.

Now she was in his arms, with the moonlight playing over her face through the curtains. Her bare skin was warm against his. She was tucked in under his chin and he could smell the floral scent of her shampoo. She made that little contented sound that meant she was completely happy and ran her foot up against his calf, tightening her arm around his waist.

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

He tightened his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Me too," he whispered back.

She pressed her lips to his chest. "Do you think we were too loud?" she asked, her voice sounding tentative.

He chuckled deep in his chest. "Well, baby, you are really…enthusiastic," he said.

She raised her head up and looked at him, making a face. "Well, when you do… _that_ , well, you know." She frowned. "Where did you learn that, by the way?"

He grinned, then ran a finger down her nose. "You inspire me, baby. You just looked so damn sexy, it just called for something…different."

She smiled then. "Well…I liked it. A lot." He could have sworn he saw her blush, even in the silvery moonlight.

He kissed her. "Wanna do it again?" he whispered against her lips.

She arched into him. "Oh, yes, please," she moaned.

This time, he remembered to put his hand over her mouth, because she did, in fact, get very noisy. Which also made him smile.

* * *

The alarm went off way too early. He got out of bed as quietly as he could, but Rayna had woken up for a moment. She'd reached for his hand and groggily begged him to stay, but he'd gently pulled his hand away and gone to take a shower. When he came out, she was sound asleep again. He kissed her forehead gently. She had made a little noise, but had not woken up. He got dressed in the dark, then stood for a moment at the side of the bed, watching Rayna sleep. She was laying on her stomach, her hair splayed across her back. She snored softly, which made him smile. She hated when he told her she snored. He could see the promise ring on her left hand and he thought again that he wanted to get her something better. Soon, he hoped.

He finally walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Then he let himself out of the house, walking around from the back. He waited out front for Shelby to pick him up. He saw her car lights turn onto the street and slowly make their way to where he stood. He stepped off the curb and opened the car door, getting in quickly. "Hey, sugar," Shelby said, looking over at him. "You look tired."

He smiled a little. "Late night." He breathed in. "Me and Rayna got engaged."

Shelby hit the brakes, causing him to hit the seatbelt. She turned to look at him. "What?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Yeah. I asked her yesterday."

She still looked a little surprised, but eased the car back into drive. "I hope she said yes."

He laughed softly. "Yeah, she did."

She reached over and patted his arm. "Sugar, I'm real happy for you. For you both." She smiled again. "You set a date yet?"

Deacon leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. A smile played on his face though, thinking about how Rayna was the cause of that exhaustion. "Nah," he said. "We ain't talked about that at all. I figure she'll come up with that."

"Well, this is the best news I've heard in a while, sugar," Shelby said, as she drove on. "It's about damn time."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna's eyes slowly opened. The sun was streaming through the curtains. She was tangled in the sheets. As she rolled over onto her back, she felt a pleasant soreness that made her smile. She felt kind of bad that Deacon had had to get up early to go to work at the diner, but she had felt like she could have made love to him all night. And very nearly did. She held her left arm up and let the sunlight play on the tiny diamond chips on the promise ring. Deacon had said he wanted to get her something better, but she thought this was perfect.

She turned her head to look at the clock on the bedside table and gasped, sitting up. It was after eight-thirty. Audrey was surely past ready for her to come get Maddie. She jumped out of bed and pulled on the clothes she'd worn the day before. She ran into the bathroom and picked up a comb, running it through her hair and pulling it back into a ponytail. She leaned over the sink and looked in the mirror, rubbing the smudged mascara off from under her eyes. She quickly brushed her teeth and then hurried out the door and over to the Carlisle's back door.

Audrey answered the door with Maddie on her hip. "Mama!" Maddie squealed, reaching out for Rayna.

Rayna took her daughter from Audrey. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I guess I overslept." Maddie started pulling Rayna's ponytail and Rayna reached for her little hand to pull it away. "Stop that, baby," she said, then looked back at Audrey. "I hope she wasn't any trouble."

Audrey shook her head, a smile on her face. "Oh, not at all, honey," she said. "That little girl is the perfect guest. We had a wonderful time, didn't we, Maddie?" She made a face at Maddie.

"Yes! Au-dee fun, Mama!" Maddie cried.

Rayna smiled at Maddie, then at Audrey. "Well, we really appreciated you doing this at the last minute. And keeping her overnight too." She smiled more broadly. "It turned out to be a big night." She held up her left hand. "Deacon asked me to marry him."

Audrey reached in and hugged Rayna. "Oh, honey, I'm so happy for the both of you." She nodded at Maddie. "And for Maddie too. Do you have a date yet?"

Rayna shook her head. "We didn't even talk about that. But I don't want anything fancy. I just want to get married. So something small. And _soon_."

"Look at me, not inviting you in," Audrey said, looking embarrassed. "Come on in and I'll get Maddie's things together." She stepped aside and let Rayna in the house.

Rayna always loved being in Audrey and Coleman's house. It was cozy and warm, just the kind of place she hoped she and Deacon would have one day. It was a cute little stone bungalow in East Nashville, in an area that had seen better days. But Audrey and Cole kept the house well-maintained and it was always welcoming. Rayna trailed after Audrey as she walked into the bedroom where she'd kept Maddie. "Maddie always loves coming to see you," Rayna said.

Audrey stopped packing up the diaper bag and turned to Rayna, smiling. "We both just love her to pieces," she said. She made a little face. "What happened with your meeting with the label guy?"

Rayna sighed and sat down on the hope chest in the room, putting Maddie down on the floor. The little girl scampered over to the bed and retrieved her pink pony. "He wants to sign us to some kind of deal where we get prepared to do an album. I forget what he called it, but he thinks we don't have enough songs yet and wants us to write more. Well, wants _Deacon_ to write more, mostly." She made a face. "But then he wants me to be the lead singer. Deacon would just sing back-up or he'd sing with me on a duet. And I'm not sure that's what Deacon wants. Or what _I_ want."

Audrey got everything into the diaper bag and zipped it up, then set it on the floor. She sat on the bed and looked at Rayna. "Rayna, you're still so young," she said. "With the whole world in front of you. You have a family that you love. This is your chance to dream big. Grab for that brass ring." She sighed. "You know, when Cole and I met, we did that. We dreamed about all the things we wanted to accomplish. Cole wanted to run for office. I wanted to make a difference in the world. But we let it get away."

Rayna frowned. "How do you mean?"

Audrey gave her a sad smile. "We didn't think we could do it. We were afraid to try. We talked ourselves out of our dreams. Oh, we're happy, don't get me wrong. We have each other and a better life than either of us grew up with. But we could have had more. We just let ourselves be scared. Don't do that, you _or_ Deacon. Dream big and then go for it." She stood up and Rayna did too. "This is a city of dreams. Go out and get yours."

Rayna nodded. "I will. We will." She smiled. "Thanks, Audrey. For everything." She picked up the diaper bag and then turned towards Maddie. "Maddie, sweetheart, let's go," she said.

Maddie got up and toddled over to her mother. "I ready!"

Rayna took her hand. "Say goodbye to Audrey," she said.

"Bye, Au-dee! Love you!" Maddie cried with a huge smile.

Audrey leaned down and smiled at Maddie. "Love you too, sweet thing. I'll see you later," she said. She straightened up and then gave Rayna a hug. "Do it, Rayna," she whispered. Rayna looked at her and then bit her lip.

* * *

Rayna opened the kitchen door and Maddie ran in ahead of her. "Daddy!" she called out.

"Daddy's not here, sweetie," Rayna said. "He's at work."

Maddie let go with an exaggerated sigh and Rayna had to hide her smile. "Her miss him," she said, her face sad.

"Well, he'll be home after lunch." Rayna walked over to the couch. "Come here and sit with me, sweet girl." She sat down and Maddie ran over and jumped up next to her, curling into her. Rayna hugged her. "Now, be very quiet while Mama talks on the phone a minute, okay?"

Maddie looked up at her and nodded solemnly, then put her finger up to her mouth and said, "Shh."

Rayna smiled and picked up the phone. She punched in the numbers that were on the card next to the phone and waited for it to be picked up on the other end. When it was, she said, "Hey there. May I speak to Mr. Watty White, please?" She listened and then said, "Please tell him it's Rayna Wy…Jaymes. Tell him it's Rayna Jaymes."

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon opened the kitchen door and saw Rayna sitting at the table. She lifted her finger to her lips and he understood Maddie was asleep. He closed the door quietly and walked as softly as he could to the table. She smiled and raised her face up. He obliged her with a kiss. "Hey, baby," he said quietly.

"Hey," she said, still smiling.

He sat down in the chair next to her. "You have a good day?" he asked.

She nodded. "I did. I overslept though." She blushed a little. "Picked up Maddie and brought her back home."

He raised his eyebrows. "She do okay at Audrey and Cole's?"

She nodded again. "She did. But I don't know if they would say otherwise, you know?"

He smiled. "Probably not." He reached for the notebook that was in front of her. "You been working on something?"

She smiled. "I have."

He looked down at the page and started to read.

 _It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart / Without saying a word you can light up the dark / Try as I may I could never explain / What I hear when you don't say a thing_

 _The smile on your face lets me know that you need me / There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me / The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall / You say it best when you say nothing at all_

He looked up at her and smiled. "That's gonna be a pretty song, Ray," he said.

She sighed. "It's hard, Deacon. Why is it so hard to write a song? This took me all day to do – and it's not even close to being finished – and you can just whip something out in an hour."

He laughed, softly so as not to wake Maddie. "It takes me more than an hour, Ray. Sometimes it's easier than others, but it ain't all gonna happen fast. Just remember, three chords and the truth."

She looked confused. "What?"

"It's what Watty told me. Write about your truth. Write what you know." He looked down at the notebook again, then back at her. "What made you want to write today?"

She shrugged and smiled a little self-consciously. "Well, I thought I probably needed to think about something from the female point of view. Isn't that what Watty said?"

He nodded. "Yeah." Then he frowned. "Are you thinking about it?"

She reached for his hand. "I did more than think about it. Please don't be mad, but I called Watty and told him we're in."

He was surprised, but he smiled. "I ain't mad." He rubbed her hand with his thumb. "You sure about this? Really?"

"You know, Audrey said something to me, when I picked up Maddie, about dreaming big and not letting fear get in the way. I think I was kind of afraid. And I still am. This could be huge, Deacon." She bit her lip. "I still don't want you to think I'm trying to take your dream."

He shook his head. "I don't think that, baby. I know Watty is a smart man when it comes to this, so I trust him. If he thinks this is the way to go, then we'll do it this way. So what did he say when you called him?"

"Well, I think he was surprised, first of all. When I told him we were in, he asked me twice if I was sure. And he wants us to come in sometime in the next couple days to sign the deal." She sighed. "He does want us to start doing clubs and stuff outside Nashville, so we do need to figure out what we're gonna do about Maddie. You know, I feel like she's finally getting kind of used to all this and you and me together and now we're gonna uproot her."

Deacon breathed in and nodded. He understood her concern. It would be different if it were just the two of them, but a toddler in the mix meant life would be more complicated. "I know, baby. I hope we get some time to figure it out." He took her hands in both of his. "But she'll still be with us."

"I know." Rayna squeezed his hands. "I don't know if I tell you enough how glad I am that you just accepted her right away. All I ever thought about was wanting you to have a chance to know her and wishing you were there to be part of her life. But when you came back, I realized that you might not have wanted to be a dad…."

He raised up out of his chair, leaned over, and kissed her before she could finish. Then he sat back down. "Baby, she's part of me. I could never turn my back on her." He breathed in, raising his eyebrows. "I just don't wanna mess things up. You know how my life was and I ain't got any good role models." He felt a lump in his throat. "I don't ever want to disappoint her."

She got up and settled onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You won't," she said. "I know you will always do your best to be a good daddy to her. And you won't be the kind of father yours was."

He put his arms around her waist and pulled her in, giving her a kiss. "Long as I got you, I'll be good," he said.

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. "We have something else to talk about too, you know," she said, with a smile.

He ran his hand up her back. "You got everything planned already?" he asked.

"Well, maybe. I was thinking we could just do it at the courthouse. Invite Shelby and Myra, Audrey and Cole, Tandy. You could ask Beverly, if you want."

He frowned. "You don't want a big wedding? With a white dress and all that?"

She shook her head. "I don't need all that. I just want to be married. I want it to be small, with just the people we love." She kissed him. "All I need is you."

"Daddy!" Maddie shouted, letting them know she was awake from her nap.

Deacon turned his head towards her crib and smiled at her as she stood there, rising up on her tip toes. "Maddie!" he called back. Then he looked at Rayna. "I better get my girl," he said, with a grin.

Rayna got up from his lap and smiled. "Yes, you better."

* * *

After work, he decided to see if Beverly was still in Nashville. He hadn't said anything when Rayna had suggested he ask Beverly to the wedding and she hadn't said anything else about it. He'd thought about it for a couple days, but since the wedding was happening in less than two weeks, he knew he needed to ask, if he was going to. He'd considered the way they'd left things, with her basically cutting ties with him, but she was his only relative and he felt like he couldn't just throw her away like that.

As he got in his truck, he considered that he had no idea if she were still in the same place in Nashville or not and, if not, he had no idea how to find her. He'd finally decided he would check the house they'd been renting and, if she wasn't there, he'd call it a day. He didn't start the truck right away, just sitting there, breathing in and out. Growing up, Beverly was the only person he could count on. Being as close in age as they were, they'd really grown up together. She had always been rough around the edges, not surprising all things considered, but he'd always known she was looking out for him. And, when he got older, he did the same for her.

He had thought about not letting her know he and Rayna were getting married. She had never liked Rayna, for some reason, so he felt sure his news wouldn't be warmly received. But she was his sister, his family, and he needed to try. She was Maddie's aunt and he felt like she needed to know that too. He started the truck and headed for the part of East Nashville where they had lived.

When he reached the street, he recognized Doug's truck, so he knew they were still there. He found a spot to park and then walked slowly up the sidewalk. When he got to the house, he stood at the front walk and just stared for a moment. He'd forgotten how rundown the house was. It was dirt cheap, so they'd tried not paying attention to the rotting wood and the holes in the roof and the poor condition of the inside. He felt lucky that he and Rayna had such a nice apartment at the Carlisle's, small as it was. It was homey and well-maintained, clean and tidy.

He finally walked up the walkway and stepped up onto the porch. He approached the door and reached out to knock, stepping back to wait. He heard some shuffling inside and then the door slowly opened and Beverly peered out. She looked shocked to see him.

"Hey, Bev," he said.

She blinked, then a smile crept across her lips, although it wasn't warm and inviting. "So, you're back," she said. "Come crawling back with your tail between your legs?"

He felt himself bristle and he frowned. "No."

She walked out onto the porch, letting the door close behind her. She stood with her legs slightly apart, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes ice cold. "I don't know why you'd come back here then. Unless you're ready to apologize for betraying me."

He shook his head. "I didn't betray you, Beverly," he said.

She raised her eyebrows. "No? What do you call going behind my back and doing your own open mic? And presenting songs you hadn't shared with me? Your partner. I call that betrayal, Deacon." She leaned forward and jabbed him with a finger, her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed tightly together.

He put his hands on his hips and scowled. "You'd have done the same thing," he said.

"No, I wouldn't. I valued the commitment we made. Something you didn't do." She practically spat the words out at him. Then she looked him up and down. "So if you're not here to apologize, then why are you here?" she asked.

He just stared at her. He considered whether he wanted her to even know Rayna was here. As he looked at her, he hardly recognized the sister who'd been his other half all his life. This was someone he no longer knew. He breathed in and then shrugged. "I don't even know," he said, then turned and walked off the porch and down to the street, not looking back once.

* * *

It was a week before the wedding when Rayna asked him about Beverly. They were eating dinner and she said, "So, babe, did you decide to ask Beverly?"

He swallowed what was in his mouth. "Nah," he said.

She frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, she's your family. You sure you don't want her there?"

He shook his head and then reached for her hand. " _You're_ my family, baby. Ever since I first met you, you been my family. I don't need nobody but you and Maddie."

She smiled, even though there was sadness in her eyes. He knew that, even if she and Beverly didn't like each other, that family meant something to her. But it was true, she _was_ his family. She always had been. "Well, you've got us both. And, if you change your mind, it's okay."

"Nah. I won't change my mind." He sighed. "It'll be better this way anyway."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

They were getting married at the courthouse on a Saturday afternoon. When she had talked to Tandy, her sister had asked her the same thing Deacon had.

" _Are you sure you don't want a big wedding? Or at least a nice one, with a pretty white dress and a veil and all that?" Tandy asked._

" _No, I don't," Rayna replied. "Why does everyone think that's what I want?"_

 _Tandy had laughed. "Well, maybe because you used to talk about that all the time. And when you were twelve you used to stand at the drugstore looking at all the bride's magazines, picking out your favorite dresses."_

 _Rayna blushed. "Well, I've outgrown that. Clearly. Anyway, I'm a mama. It would be weird if I wore a white dress. I'm definitely not a virgin."_

" _Anyone can wear a white dress, sweetheart. If you want to wear a white dress, do it. It doesn't have to be a wedding dress."_

 _Rayna twisted the phone cord in her hand. "I don't know."_

" _Listen. I'm going to drive up there the Thursday before. Why don't you and I go dress shopping on Friday? Even if you don't get a white dress, it might be fun to do it together."_

 _Rayna smiled. "I would love that, Tandy," she said softly. "Thank you." She bit her lip. "Daddy doesn't know, does he?"_

" _Nope. I told him I was going to visit a college friend." She sighed. "You know, though, that one of these days, you're going to have to tell him something. He does talk about you a lot."_

 _Rayna frowned. "I'm sure it's nothing nice."_

" _You're wrong about that. He worries about you. Look, I know he didn't do a really good job of showing us he cared, but he does. But Mom taking off with us didn't give him much of a chance to learn how to be a father."_

 _Rayna thought about Deacon and how he'd worked to be a good father to Maddie. "He still could've shown us that he cared about us. That he loved us. It's not that hard." She wasn't willing to give him a pass. Not considering how horrible he'd been to her._

" _Well, he's just afraid that…well…."_

" _I know. He's afraid Deacon can't take care of us. That he'll desert us. Because he's from the wrong side of town." Rayna felt herself getting angry. "But he's wrong. Deacon has been great. He works hard and we're finally starting to get some things going on the music side, so it'll be even better soon." She took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're coming."_

" _Me too, sweetie. I can't wait to see all of you."_

She was looking forward to shopping with Tandy. The idea of having something new to wear when she married Deacon was exciting. Maybe they could even pick out a new little dress for Maddie. She smiled to herself. This was going to be the best day of her life so far. Next to the day Maddie was born, she couldn't imagine anything being more special.

Deacon was at work and Audrey had taken Maddie to the park, so Rayna had the apartment to herself for a bit. She sat down on the couch and flipped through channels on the TV, but nothing interested her. She looked over at the notebook on the coffee table. Watty had told them he wanted them to start working on songs, together and separately. He had liked 'Already Gone' and told her he thought that one could be a radio hit. The person they were working with at Edgehill was helping them develop a set list for performances as well as a storyline for the first album.

Writing was harder than she'd thought it would be though. 'Surrender' had practically written itself, which had tricked her into thinking it wouldn't be so difficult to write more. But 'Already Gone' had taken more time, plus Deacon had had to help her with the bridge before it made sense. She leaned over and picked up the notebook and a pencil and sat back against the arm of the chair. She closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind.

The words they'd come up with earlier struck her again. _No one will ever love you, like I do._ She found herself thinking about Deacon's songs. They had had long conversations about songwriting and what worked and what didn't.

" _You don't have to be literal, Ray," he said to her. "Everything don't have to be exactly what you have in your life."_

 _She smirked. "You mean, like not driving on highway 65 or being in Arkansas?"_

 _He grinned. "Like that. Just paint a word picture."_

 _She sighed. "But you do that so much better than me," she said._

 _He looked puzzled. "What about your poems, baby? You write pretty stuff that paints a picture. Those poems could be songs."_

" _I guess. But they seem silly. Not grown up. I want to write grown up songs."_

" _Just write what you know, baby. That's all it is."_

She opened her eyes and looked back at the notebook. She wrote at the top of the page 'No one will ever love you, like I do'. She thought back to when they first met and all the fits and starts they'd gone through in the beginning. All the times he'd told her he wasn't good enough for her or when he would worry about disappointing her. How he'd wanted to shield her from the life he'd led and how out of place he'd felt in her world.

She started to jot things down, erasing and rewording. She'd strike through whole sentences that just didn't feel right. She found herself trying to evoke a feeling, more than an event. A story of two people who tried to push the other away, thinking they were doing it for good reason. A realization that they were irrevocably connected in spite of it all. Or maybe because of it.

When she finally stopped writing and read over what she'd written, she knew it wasn't nearly finished, but it was a start. She was happy with it. She put the notebook and pencil down on the table and leaned back against the arm of the couch. Within minutes, she was asleep.

* * *

She woke up when she felt someone sitting on the couch. She opened her eyes to see Deacon, holding Maddie. "Hey, baby," he said.

"Hey, mama!" Maddie cried.

She sat up and took Maddie, cuddling her in her arms. "Hey there, sweet girl," she cooed, kissing her daughter on the top of her head. Then she looked up to Deacon and reached out to put her hand on his arm. "Hey, babe. How was your day?"

"Good. Busy." He ran his hand over her leg. "So, I'm gonna work tomorrow." Rayna frowned. "We need the money, baby. And I'll just work breakfast, so I'll be home before your sister gets here. Then I got off until Tuesday."

She sighed. "Okay."

He noticed the writing in the notebook and he picked it up and looked over it. He looked at her when he finished. "This is good, Ray."

"You think so?" He nodded. "That was as far as I got. Maybe we can work on it tonight?"

He smiled. "We will."

Maddie was pulling at her hair and Rayna looked down at her as she untangled her daughter's little fingers. She leaned down and kissed Maddie's hand, then looked back at Deacon. He was back to looking at her lyrics. A warm, settled feeling washed over her as she sat with her family. In three days, she would be married to her soulmate and they would really begin their life together. She was grateful to have gotten the chance.

She reached out and touched Deacon's arm and he turned to look at her, a question on his face. "You're all I'll ever need," she said.

"Me too, baby," he said. "Me too."

 _ **A/N: So, this is the point at which I thought this story would logically end. I will, however, post an epilogue that takes place at a pivotal moment in their future, so we can see how life as Mr. and Mrs. Claybourne has treated them. Thanks to all who read this and especially those who took the time to review. I'm always so grateful to know that you've enjoyed my story.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Epilogue**_

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon breathed in deeply, to keep the tears at bay. He felt a calm pass over him that gave him a grounded sense he'd never known before. He glanced down at the sleeping baby boy in his arms, the baby who had just been born a few hours earlier. Then he looked over at Rayna, who was softly snoring, exhausted from sixteen hours of labor. He smiled. The only thing that would have made this moment more perfect would be when Maddie got to the hospital. Shelby had picked her up the day before, when he and Rayna had left for the hospital, and she'd be bringing Maddie by after school.

The baby started to make little mewling noises and he looked back down. His eyes were open, blue-gray like his mother's, and he was focusing intently on his father, his little face screwed up. "Shh," Deacon said softly.

"Bring him to me, babe," came Rayna's tired voice. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were open and she was pushing herself up to a sitting position in the bed. "He's probably hungry," she said.

He shook his head. "You should sleep," he said, but the baby started to make fussing noises.

She smiled. "It's okay. I'll be sleep-deprived for a while now." She held her arms out. "You too," she said, raising her eyebrow teasingly.

He walked to the side of the bed and reluctantly handed her Austin Jaymes Claybourne. "Here you go, Mama," he said.

She took the baby, snuggling him close, then moved her gown open so he could latch onto her breast. Deacon couldn't stop the tears gathering in his eyes. Watching Rayna with their son filled his heart with love. He hadn't been there when Maddie was born and he had relished every moment of this pregnancy.

He watched her as she ran her fingers over their son's reddish-blond fuzz, as Austin focused on his feeding, rubbing away his tears. She looked up and smiled. "He's my platinum baby," she said.

He chuckled. Just before they'd left for the hospital, her manager, Bucky, had called with the news that her album had gone platinum. "He is that," he agreed.

She reached her hand out to him and he edged closer, taking her hand in his. "I'm so glad you were here this time," she said softly.

"I wouldn't have missed this," he said, swallowing over the lump that had formed in his throat. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. They'd come such a long way from the two kids who'd met in high school.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna opened her eyes. Even though she was exhausted, she couldn't stay asleep. It was a mother's burden to wake up when her baby cried. She smiled to herself as she watched Deacon holding their son. Austin had been like Maddie, taking his time getting there as well as arriving a week late.

They had talked early on about wanting another child, but when they'd gotten signed to Edgehill, they had decided to wait. They were still young and it seemed better to get established first, before she took a career break. Her first album had modest sales but had earned her the Horizon Award as best new artist. Her second album did better in the wake of that, going gold, but the latest album seemed to be her breakthrough, along with the opportunity to open for George Strait.

They had originally planned it so that having a baby would fall at a natural tour break, but they hadn't counted on Rayna getting pregnant so quickly. Even still, she wasn't quite five months pregnant when the tour wrapped, which gave them plenty of time to prepare and meant they'd have more time with the baby. Their biggest worry had been the age difference between Maddie and a new baby, but their daughter had been thrilled from the start, excited about a baby brother.

The person she'd been most happy for, though, was Deacon. Having missed everything with Maddie, she'd wanted this experience with him. She smiled again, thinking how fascinated he'd been with all the changes in her body. He loved talking to the baby through her stomach and, almost every night, he would serenade him. And then, as they lay curled up together, he would move his fingers over her, memorizing every new curve or change, feeling the baby move inside her, as they talked about the future.

She was shaken from her musings by the little cries from Austin. "Bring him to me, babe," she said. Deacon turned to face her and her heart nearly exploded as she saw the look of love in his eyes and the pride on his face. "He's probably hungry."

He brought the baby to her and she opened her gown so he could latch on to her breast. As it had been with Maddie, the bonding she felt with Austin, through this one simple act, was almost overwhelming. She ran her fingers over his reddish-blond hair. Where Maddie was the spitting image of Deacon, Austin looked like her already, with his dark blue-gray eyes and light auburn hair.

She looked up at Deacon and smiled. "He's my platinum baby," she said, born as he was on the eve of her hitting that lofty goal for the first time.

Deacon chuckled. "He is that."

She reached for his hand, so overwhelmed with love and gratitude. That he was back in her life still seemed like such a miracle. "I'm so glad you were here this time," she said. She could see all his feelings in his eyes.

"I wouldn't have missed this," he said, his voice rough with emotion. He bent down and kissed her and she thought to herself that she was so blessed.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

After Austin was finished feeding, Deacon took him back and placed him in the crib. He turned back to Rayna. "You should sleep, baby," he said. "While you got a chance."

She nodded. "I should." She sighed happily, a smile on her face. "You'll keep an eye on him?"

He grinned. "'Course." He walked over to her bed. She looked up at him and he thought she'd never looked so beautiful. He leaned down and brushed her lips with a kiss. "Sweet dreams," he said.

"Thank you, babe." She closed her eyes and he reached behind her and turned the light out over her bed. Then he walked back over to where Austin lay in his crib and stood watching his sleeping son. He'd never really been around a baby before and he was surprised at how tiny Austin seemed.

He moved to the chaise lounge in the suite. Rayna's status had gotten them one of the nice birthing suites at Vanderbilt and for that he was grateful. He would stay overnight with her and the chaise looked more comfortable than a chair for trying to catch a few winks. He stretched out and closed his eyes, thinking about how lucky he was. All those years ago, he'd gone to Natchez, hoping to find Rayna only to learn she was gone. He really thought he'd lost her forever until he'd gone back for Vince's funeral to find her there again. And their journey since then had been nothing short of amazing.

He thought back to the day they'd gotten married. He had asked her on the bridge that crossed the Cumberland River in downtown Nashville. They had married two weeks later in a simple, private ceremony at the county courthouse. Only a handful of people had been there, but it was all the people who meant the most to them.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Rayna and Tandy coming back from dress shopping the day before the wedding. He was helping Maddie with her dollhouse when they burst in, all smiles and laughing. He and Maddie had looked up at Rayna, her face aglow and her eyes shining with excitement. He remembered thinking how beautiful she looked right then.

" _Oh, babe, I found the perfect dress!" she cried as she hurried over. Maddie had jumped up and run over to her, reaching her arms up to be picked up. Rayna had patted the little girl on the back. "Maddie, honey, Mama wants to show Daddy her dress."_

" _Me, too!" Maddie squealed._

 _He had pushed up from the floor and picked up Maddie, although she still squirmed, trying to get to Rayna. "I don't know, baby," he said. "Ain't that supposed to be a secret til the wedding day? Ain't it bad luck or something for me to see?"_

 _She had shaken her head, the smile not leaving her face. "I don't believe in bad luck," she said. "I want you to see it. It's just so pretty." She looked back at Tandy. "Isn't it?"_

 _Tandy nodded. "Gorgeous. You look so beautiful in it, Rayna."_

 _Rayna took the hanging bag from her sister and laid it on the couch, unzipping it and then reaching in to pull out the dress. She held it up in front of her so he could see it. It wasn't white – she'd told him she wouldn't wear a white dress – but it was close. He was no expert at fashion, but he could see that it would look amazing on her. The smile on her face was radiant. "What do you think?"_

 _He smiled back at her. "I think it looks amazing, Ray." He looked at Maddie. "Isn't Mama's dress pretty, sweet girl?"_

" _Pretty dress!" Maddie exclaimed, clapping happily._

 _Tandy walked over then and plucked Maddie from Deacon's arms. "Okay, you come with me, little bug," she said to her niece. "We got a pretty dress for you too and I want you to try it on for your mama and daddy. Okay?"_

" _Pretty dress for me!" Maddie cried out again. Tandy smiled at Rayna and him, then picked up a smaller bag and went into their bedroom._

 _Rayna was still holding up the dress and he focused his attention back on her. "Do you really like it?" she asked._

 _He walked over and took her in his arms, kissing her. "Baby, I don't care what you wear. You'll look beautiful." He kissed her again. "And yeah, I really like it." He took the dress hanger from her hand and tossed it over onto the couch, then pulled her in close. "I can't wait to marry you."_

 _She giggled. "I can't wait to marry you," she replied. "This is like a dream come true."_

* * *

 _Deacon followed Tandy's car the next day to the courthouse. Rayna and Maddie rode with her. Tandy would be taking Maddie to a hotel to spend the next two nights so that he and Rayna could have some time alone, as a sort of honeymoon. It was another of those things he'd promised Rayna he would give her one day, along with a diamond ring worthy of her._

 _It was a crisp, chilly day in early December. The sky was blue though and the sun was shining. He stood on the sidewalk, waiting for Rayna, Tandy, and Maddie. When they reached him, he took Rayna's hand and squeezed it gently. She looked up at him and smiled, her eyes shiny with happiness. He felt his heart beat faster and he swallowed over a sudden lump in his throat. "You ready for this?"_

 _She nodded. "So ready." She bit her lip, then smiled again. "I can't wait to be your wife."_

 _He was sure he was going to cry and he breathed in, trying to control his emotions. "I can't wait to be your husband," he said, his voice cracking._

 _Tandy was standing over near the door with Maddie. "Let's go, you two," she called out. "It's kind of cold out here and we have a wedding to go to." They looked at her and she smiled at them. She opened the door and waited for them to join her and then they walked in together._

* * *

 _The ceremony was simple and quick. Rayna had surprised him with a ring she'd bought the day before and not shown him. He put the same promise ring on her finger again, wishing it could have been different. But, as she'd said to him that night as they'd held each other close, "None of it matters, Deacon, except the words we said to each other. That we committed ourselves to each other, now and for always. You can certainly buy me a ring later if you want, I mean, ten rings if you really want to, but that's not what's important. You know that."_

 _He'd nodded, knowing the truth of what she'd said. "I love you, Ray," he whispered._

" _I love you too," she whispered back._

He opened his eyes and looked over at the crib. Austin was still asleep and, when he glanced at Rayna's bed, he saw she was too. Maddie would be there before long and he would have everything he'd ever needed all in one place. The family he thought he'd never have and the life he wasn't sure he was meant for, all of that was his.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna slowly opened her eyes. The room was dim. She wondered what time it was and looked over at the clock on the wall. She smiled when she saw that it was just before noon. With the shades drawn it was hard to tell. When her eyes adjusted more to the light, she could see that Deacon was stretched out on the chaise lounge, one hand behind his head and the other on his chest. He was breathing deeply, so she knew he was asleep and she was glad for that. He'd had even less sleep than she had.

She sat up and pushed back the covers, swinging her legs over off the side of the bed. Slowly she moved herself so she could slide off the bed onto the floor, wincing a little with the soreness. Then she quietly walked over to the crib, so she wouldn't wake her husband.

She stood looking down at her baby boy, also sleeping. She smiled as she watched his little chest rise and fall. He had taken his sweet time getting here, but now that he was she had forgotten all that. Like when Maddie was born, she was just grateful. He was healthy, with ten fingers and ten toes and a healthy, lusty cry. Once he was all cleaned up, she could see he was a handsome boy. She had also noticed he had his father's long fingers, just like his sister did, and she wondered if he would be a musician too.

Maddie had graduated from the little ukulele they had bought for her when she was four to a real guitar and, at ten, she was already good. Austin had a guitar player's hands, so she suspected that in not too many years, she'd be the only one who wasn't skilled at it. She stretched her own hand out in front of her, looking at her small hand and fingers. Definitely better for playing the piano than the guitar, although she still used it occasionally when writing.

That made her stop and think about all those years of songwriting. She'd finally gotten better at it, thanks to Deacon, but she still thought he was the more accomplished songwriter in the family. They had written hundreds of songs together, not all of them recorded in any way. Some were just for them, but many had ended up on albums or in performances of various kinds. Deacon played a regular spotlight show at the Bluebird when they were off the road and he performed many of the songs that didn't make the albums there, as well as songs he wrote alone.

She thought back to the very first song they'd written together – 'Surrender' – still one of her favorites. It was a fan favorite too, as were most of their duets. It was the very first song they recorded together, even though she had been reluctant initially. And it was the very first song they'd ever had on the radio, although it was still a while before it became an oft-requested one.

 _Rayna was twisting her promise ring on her finger as they headed for Watty's office. "Why do you think he wanted us to come to his office?" she asked, looking at Deacon. "Why couldn't he just have told us whatever it is over the phone?"_

 _He shrugged. "I don't know, baby." He looked over at her and smiled. "Maybe he just likes seeing us?"_

 _She made a face at him. "I'm sure that's not it," she said. She clutched her hands in her lap. "Maybe he's not happy with what we're writing."_

 _He laughed. "Baby, it doesn't have to be something bad," he said._

 _She sighed. "I know. I guess I just worry too much."_

 _He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Yeah, you do worry too much."_

* * *

 _When they got to the building and started for the elevator, he pulled her to a stop. She turned towards him. "It's gonna be fine," he said._

 _She frowned. "Do you know something?" she asked._

 _He shook his head. "No. But I know it'll be fine." He put his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. After a moment, she relaxed and breathed in deeply. One of the many things she loved about him was how he kept her centered._

It did turn out to be fine. Watty had just wanted to see their faces when he told them that Gerry House on WSM radio wanted to have them in studio to perform 'Surrender'. It had generated a lot of interest in them and their local shows suddenly were better attended. Gerry played their demo of the song numerous times, which gave them some name recognition and had been very instrumental in helping develop some buzz around them. They still had a long road ahead to get them to where they were now, but it had been a heady time.

"Baby, you okay?" Deacon's voice brought her back to the present. He was sitting up, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."

She shook her head. "It's okay. I'm glad you got to rest a bit. You deserved it, after staying up with me all night." She smiled at him. "I was just admiring our handiwork."

He grinned and then pushed himself up from the chaise and walked around to join her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her on the top of the head. "We do make good-looking babies, don't we?" he asked.

She slid her arm around his waist and leaned her head against him. "Yeah, we do," she said softly.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

"Knock, knock!" Rayna and Deacon turned to look towards the hospital door and they both smiled when Shelby came into the room with Maddie. "Big sister's here!"

Maddie rushed straight to the crib first and, putting her hands on the top rail, leaned over. "He's so tiny!" she whispered. She turned to look at her parents. "He's so little!" She seemed surprised.

Rayna squeezed his hand and they smiled at each other before turning back to their daughter. "I told you he would be," Rayna said, with a laugh.

Maddie shrugged and blushed a little. "Well, I know, but…."

"I know. I was 'so big', as you kept telling me. But he's bigger than you were."

Shelby joined Maddie at the crib. "He's gorgeous, y'all," she said. "You two make beautiful babies!"

He looked at Rayna and winked. "Told you so," he said.

Rayna smirked. "I know. And I agreed with you." She turned back to Maddie and held out her hand. "Come here, sweet girl." Maddie flew over to the side of the bed, then hesitated. Rayna nodded. "It's okay. Come sit next to me." Maddie carefully got up and sat on the edge of the bed and Rayna put her arm around Maddie's waist.

Shelby approached the bed and leaned over to give Rayna a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna get out of y'all's hair for a bit. I'll be back to pick up Maddie at the end of visiting hours."

Deacon frowned. "You don't gotta leave," he said.

Shelby shook her head. "There's too many people in here. And I really do have some things I need to do." She walked over to him and hugged him. "You've got a beautiful family, sugar," she said to him. "I'm so happy for you."

Right after Shelby left, Austin started to fuss and Deacon went over to pick up his son. He brought the baby to Rayna, who took him in her arms and then pulled back her gown to breastfeed him.

"Oh, gross, Mom," Maddie said, making a face. She hopped off the bed and went around to the other side, plopping down in the chair Deacon had been sitting in. "Do you have to do that?"

Rayna gave her a look. "Yes, I _do_ have to do that," she said. "And, just so you know, I used to do this with you too when you were a baby."

Maddie put her hands over her face and groaned. "Oh, Mom, yuck," she said.

Deacon looked at Rayna and smiled and she smiled back at him. Then she looked back at Maddie. "So Austin has the same hands as you and your father," she said. "Nice long fingers, just right for guitar playing."

He put his hand on the back of Maddie's head. "You up for teaching your brother to play when he gets older?" he asked.

Maddie shrugged. "I guess." She looked up at him. "Should I give him my ukulele?"

He nodded. "I think that would be nice. When he's a little older though." He winked at her and she laughed.

"So is he going to get to go on tour with y'all?" Maddie asked.

He glanced quickly at Rayna, then back down to his daughter. It had been a sore spot the last few years, since Maddie had started school. Rayna hated leaving her and he did as well and Maddie was always disappointed to no longer be able to go along all the time. "Actually, your mama and I been talking about that," he said, scrunching up her hair a little. "Austin would be too little to leave at home and we hate being out on the road without you. So, we decided we're just touring in the summer now, so both y'all can go with us."

Maddie jumped up and started clapping her hands together. "Oh my God, you guys, I'm so psyched!" she cried.

Rayna looked down at her son and then back up at her daughter. "And we'll be home when you're in school." She smiled at Maddie. "Your dad and I just miss you too much when we're gone."

 _They had avoided the topic ever since Rayna had found out she was pregnant. And even though Maddie understood she had to stay in Nashville for school, they had always hated leaving her behind. Now with the new baby coming, they had some decisions to make. They had been back in Nashville for two weeks, so that Rayna could start her maternity leave, and they could finish her album. He was reading in bed when she came into the bedroom, after saying goodnight to Maddie. She crawled up onto the bed and he laid down his magazine, letting her curl up next to him._

 _He laid his hand on her stomach, hoping to feel the baby move, but his movements so far were faint flutters, according to her, and he hadn't yet been able to feel them. She looked up at him and smiled, then laid her hand over his. "So here's what I'm thinking," she said. He raised his eyebrows, waiting. She sighed. "It might hurt us some, but I think we cut back on touring after the baby comes. We can have a full-on tour in the summer and maybe some random dates on weekends or during school breaks, but nothing where Maddie can't come out with us too." She looked at him expectantly._

 _He had thought this might be what she came up with. He knew it could be risky. They could put an album out a year – they had a large catalog of unrecorded songs – and do a lighter support. He knew Rayna really missed Maddie when they were on the road and, quite honestly, he did too. He had enjoyed his daughter more and more as she got older, hating the time they had leave her in Nashville. But cutting back on touring could mean an album that didn't sell as well and the possibility that fans would move on._

 _He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. "Remember how it was in the beginning?" he asked. "Remember that first bus?"_

 _She laughed. "Oh my God, Deacon, that was crazy. That was even less space than the apartment we had." She reached her hand up and gripped his arm. "Poor Maddie had to sleep in a drawer and thank God we had one big enough that she fit in."_

 _He laughed with her. "I remember she didn't like it much."_

" _No, she did not. Poor thing always had a bruise somewhere from bumping against an edge." She sighed. "But I loved those days, you know?" She turned her head to look at him. "Back when it was just you and me on stage, not sharing it with anyone else. I mean, I felt bad that poor Myra had to sleep in the bunk, but she was such a good sport about it. And we could never have done that without her."_

 _He smiled. "I did like when we got to move up to the nicer bus with the artist's suite though." He nuzzled her neck. "I did miss making love to you on the road, so it was nice to have a door."_

 _She giggled. "I know. And writing songs on the road was a lot easier then too."_

 _He grinned. "That is true." She sighed then and he frowned. "What's the matter, baby?"_

 _She picked at the bottom of her t-shirt. "I don't know. I mean, I guess it's just that I'll miss touring as much. I know it's the right thing to do, but I love it. And you know I didn't think I would." She snuggled a little closer. "I still feel bad about all the fuss I made back in the beginning."_

 _He kissed the top of her head. "Hey, it don't matter now, Ray. It all worked out, better than we thought."_

 _She nodded. "It did, didn't it?" She turned in his arms and folded her legs underneath her, as she faced him. "I love our life. I love being on stage with you. I love singing our songs." She leaned forward and kissed him, then sat back and smiled. "I love you."_

 _He smiled back. "I love you too."_

He looked back down at Maddie then. "Just wait until you see the awesome new bus we're getting. Perfect for all of us."

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Shelby had left with Maddie and now it was just Rayna and Deacon with Austin again. Rayna thought about the same moment after Maddie was born, when visiting hours were over and everyone was gone and she was alone with her baby. She had been terrified. Even though her father had told her she and Maddie could come home to Natchez, she'd felt so alone. As she had held her little girl, who looked so much like Deacon, she mourned the fact that he wasn't there with her to go through this. She still felt the heartache of that time ten years earlier.

But now she smiled at her husband, as he brought over their son for her to hold. He climbed up on the bed next to her, putting one arm around her and placing his other hand over hers where she held Austin. She looked up at him and she could see the tears rimming his eyes again. She felt such joy that he'd been here for this. "I'm so happy," she said softly.

He looked at her, then leaned down and kissed her. "Me too, baby. Me too." He breathed in. "I was thinking, maybe when we left here, we'd all go up to the cabin for a bit. Before we jump back into real life."

She looked down at her son and then ran the back of her finger gently over his cheek. He twitched just a little, but didn't wake up. She thought about how nice it would be to have some real peace and quiet with her family, a chance for them to bond away from phones and TVs and real life. She looked back up at Deacon. "I think that would be amazing," she said.

 _Deacon surprised her with the cabin. It was the year she'd been nominated for the Horizon Award at the CMA's. They had just completed her second album, 'Home', which would go on to be her first gold album and hit the top of the charts. She had finally felt more comfortable with her role as a solo artist. Maddie was five and they had finally moved out of the little one bedroom apartment at the Carlisle's into a two bedroom apartment that was appropriate for their little family. They were making money, but they had still remained cautious._

 _When they talked about their dreams, which they often did, hers was always a little house on the lake, away from the hustle and bustle of Nashville. A place where they could relax and put aside the relentless focus on career. They were touring constantly, but now that Maddie was in kindergarten, she often stayed behind and Rayna missed her terribly._

 _She told Deacon one night about her dream house. "It would be on a lake or a river, peaceful like the place where Tandy and I always went with Mom. A white house with big windows and sliding glass doors that lead out onto a porch. And long gauzy curtains that blow in the breeze. Maybe even a dock to sit on so we can put our feet in the water." She looked at Deacon with a smile on her face. "And no phone."_

 _He raised his eyebrows. "No phone?"_

 _She thought about that for a minute. There could be a need for a phone. In an emergency. "Okay, a phone, but no one knows the number but us."_

 _He had his arms around her and he hugged her close. "We should do that one day," he said._

" _Mm hmm," she said, now conscious of his warm skin against hers and her sudden, urgent need for him coursing through her. She rolled onto her side and put her hand on him. "But not right this minute," she said, staring deep into his eyes, letting a tiny smile cross her face._

* * *

 _The day before the CMA's, Deacon came in the apartment from an early appointment. He came up behind her in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her on the shoulder. She smiled. "What's going on?" she asked._

" _I got something to show you," he said. He seemed excited._

" _Well, show me."_

" _No, we gotta take a drive. Get Maddie and let's go," he said, letting her go._

 _She turned around to look at him. "Deacon, we have rehearsal this afternoon. For the CMA's, remember? Where are we going?"_

" _Just come on then, Ray. Time's a wastin'!" He took her hand and pulled her towards their bedroom. "Get dressed and I'll get Maddie."_

* * *

 _The longer and further they drove, the more nervous she became. She reached over and put her hand on Deacon's arm, frowning. "Babe, are you sure we'll be back in time?" she asked, for probably the twentieth time since they'd driven out of Nashville._

 _He just smiled at her, not letting her worry bother him. "We got plenty of time, baby," he said. "Don't worry." The same thing he said each time._

 _Finally they got off the highway and then made their way down a country road, until he pulled up in front of what looked like an empty house. She could see a lake down at the bottom of the sloping lawn. The house was white and had a long porch across the entire front. She looked over at him. "What are we doing here?" she asked, as she looked at him. He had a huge grin on his face. "Oh, my gosh, Deacon. What is this?"_

 _He opened his door. "Well, come on and I'll show you." He opened the back door, where Maddie was just opening her eyes after sleeping almost the whole way. "Come on, sweet girl," he said, reaching in for her. "I got a big surprise for you and your mama."_

 _She rubbed her eyes and then lifted her arms for him to get her out. "A surprise?" she said. "What kind of surprise?"_

 _Rayna was waiting at the bottom of the porch steps and Deacon took her hand as they hurried across the porch, Maddie following behind. "What did you do?" Rayna asked, looking at him._

 _He opened the door and she walked into a huge empty great room, only billowy white floor length curtains on the windows. "Look, I know when you're a big country superstar, this may not seem like much," he started._

 _Rayna looked around, wide-eyed, her hands clasped at her chest. "Oh, babe, it's my dream house," she said, looking around with wonder._

" _Daddy, it's pretty!" Maddie yelled as she ran from one end of the large room to the other._

 _Rayna turned to face him. "What did you do?" she asked teasingly._

 _He held his arms out. "This is ours," he said. "As of today. Your dream house. I mean, Ray, it's just what you said."_

 _She put her hands up to her mouth. "Oh, babe, it's ours?" He nodded. "How did you do this without me knowing?"_

 _He pulled her to him and she leaned into him, putting her arms around his neck. "I wanted to surprise you. I got it real cheap but it's exactly like you said you wanted."_

 _She looked around. "It really is." She looked back at him and smiled, then kissed him. "Thank you, babe. I love it. And I even forgive you for doing it without telling me."_

 _He laughed and kissed her. "I just want to make you happy," he whispered against her lips._

" _Are we gonna live here?" Maddie shouted._

 _Deacon and Rayna turned to look at their daughter, who had a huge smile on her face as she stood with her arms raised up over her head. "This is gonna be our getaway house, baby girl," Deacon told her. "When me and you and Mama wanna get away, this is where we'll come. You like that?"_

" _Yes!" Maddie shouted, then ran off to explore._

" _You happy?" Deacon whispered against Rayna's ear._

 _She giggled. "Yeah, I'm happy," she said._

Deacon smiled at her. "We've had some pretty good times there, haven't we?"

Rayna smiled back and nodded. "We sure have. I still think that place is good luck. I did win the Horizon Award the next night, after all." She closed her eyes, just enjoying holding her new baby and sitting next to the love of her life. "I can't wait for tomorrow," she said.

 _ **~Deacon~**_

Deacon headed for Shelby's house to pick up Maddie. He had already contacted her school to let them know she was going to miss the next two days so that the family could go to the cabin. He hated leaving Rayna and Austin for even a second, but he was also anxious to have Maddie with them all.

He had always regretted not being there for Rayna when she was pregnant with their oldest. He'd never quite gotten over his anger at Lamar for lying to him about where she was when he'd come back to Natchez. By the time he returned to Natchez, after Vince died, Maddie was eighteen months old. He'd missed so much. Her first steps, her first words, her first birthday. The first scrape on her knee and her first scary dream. He wouldn't miss any of those things with Austin, but he would forever mourn what he'd lost with his daughter.

He and Rayna had started talking about having another baby when Maddie turned three. But they were touring heavily by then and it felt like the timing wouldn't be right to stop, even for a few months. Every year there seemed to be something new that turned into an obstacle, but finally, the year Maddie turned nine, it seemed like there was a window of opportunity. Rayna worried that they'd let too many years go by, but she wanted to do this so, with Maddie's approval, they decided to try.

 _Rayna had fallen asleep almost the minute her head hit the pillow the night before. Deacon had never seen her this exhausted after a show. They were one of George Strait's openers on the George Strait Country Music Festival tour that had just started, after finishing up as openers on Garth Brooks' tour. Rayna's latest album, 'Double Down', had just hit the stores and the tour was helping it get huge buzz and increased radio play. When the sun started to trickle through the crack in the curtains drawn across the hotel room window, he was awakened by her groan._

 _He raised his head and frowned. "Baby, you okay?" he whispered._

 _She groaned again and put her hand over her stomach. "I feel sick," she said._

 _He closed his eyes. They couldn't afford for her to be sick. They would be on the road headed for Philadelphia at eleven. He laid the back of his hand on her cheek, but she didn't feel especially hot. "Can I get you something?" he asked._

" _Oh, God," she moaned, and then she scrambled out of the bed, stumbling across the floor to the bathroom. He jumped out of bed and hurried after her, hearing the sounds of her throwing up in the toilet before he reached the bathroom door. She was hunched over, her legs bent beneath her, her arms wrapped around her waist. He slid down behind her and pulled her hair back. When she was done, she raised up one hand and flushed the toilet, making little panting sounds._

" _Baby, what can I do?" he asked, worried she wouldn't be ready for the bus ride._

 _She stayed in that same position for a minute and then finally said, "You can probably go out and get me a pregnancy test."_

 _He dropped her hair and sat back on his heels. "What?" he croaked out._

 _She finally turned and sat back against the bathroom wall, with her eyes closed and her legs drawn up. "Will you get me a wet wash cloth, please, babe?" she asked, her voice sounding tired. Wordlessly he got up and found a wash cloth and ran water over it, wringing it out before he gave it to her. She opened her eyes and took it from him, running it over her face. She looked at him and then a smile crossed her face. "I'm serious. You could go get me a pregnancy test."_

Deacon smiled to himself as he approached Shelby's street. Getting to be a part of this pregnancy had been amazing. And now they had both Austin and Maddie and his happiness had just grown exponentially. He parked his truck across from Shelby's and got out, running across the street and up the walk, anxious to pick up his girl, so they could all go to the cabin.

 _ **~Rayna~**_

Rayna took a quick shower, then walked over to the crib while she dried her hair with a towel. She peeked over at her son and smiled when she saw he was still sleeping. She got dressed and then pulled her damp hair back into a ponytail. She had no one to impress today, so she smirked at herself in the mirror. She got all of her things together, as well as Austin's. Deacon had gone to the house to pack bags for all of them to take to the cabin. He had laughed when she gave him a list of things to bring, but she knew that if she hadn't, they wouldn't have had nearly enough. Then he was going to pick up Maddie and they would come back to the hospital for her and Austin.

She sat down in the chair by the crib and sighed. She was looking forward to a few days away to bond with her family. These days, with her career at such a high point, there hadn't been much time for that. Being able to take an extended maternity leave before Austin was born had been the first real break they had had in years. It still surprised her sometimes at how that had all played out. She had certainly been reluctant to be a solo artist, especially since it had always been Deacon's dream. But now she couldn't imagine it any other way and she was grateful that Deacon was so supportive, as well as involved.

She closed her eyes and thought back to the day before, when she'd gone into labor. She smiled to herself as she thought about how frantic Deacon had been when her water broke. Even though she knew she could be in labor a long time, he was ready to take her to the hospital immediately. And now here they were, ready to take their baby home.

 _She was sitting on the edge of the bed. He came racing out of the closet with her hospital bag. She smiled at how flustered he looked. He frowned at her. "Rayna, don't you need to get dressed?" he asked._

 _She patted the bed beside her. "We've got plenty of time, babe," she said patiently. "Sit."_

 _He still stood there, one hand in his hair, looking frazzled. "Rayna," he said._

 _She patted the bed again. "Please, Deacon. Sit." He sighed loudly but he dropped the bag and sat down, although she could see he was still tense as a cat. She took his hand. "Babe, it's gonna be a while. They don't want us at the hospital until my contractions are five minutes apart. We don't want to be at the hospital before then either because it's just a lot of waiting, even then. When Maddie was born, I was still at the hospital for at least six hours and it's just not comfortable. I'd really rather be here at home, with you, in our bed."_

 _He looked terrified. "But what if something goes wrong?" he asked._

 _She smiled. "Nothing's gonna go wrong, honey. Plus I've still got a lot of things to do to get ready. I have some clothes to put away in the nursery and some laundry that needs to get done."_

 _He raised his eyebrows. "Don't you need to, you know, stay in bed? Wait?"_

 _She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, God, babe, you know how not good I am at just sitting around waiting. We need to get Maddie's things together so she can go over to Shelby's. Things like that."_

" _I can do all that for you."_

 _She shook her head. "I need to stay busy." She squeezed his hand and winked. "So how about taking a shower with me?" She laughed at the horrified look on his face._

* * *

 _Deacon had basically forced her to sit down in the den with him. She had been in the nursery folding clothes, rearranging the room, and packing and repacking the baby bag to take with them. He'd been in and out, huffing at everything she was doing, trying to take things out of her hands, until finally she gave up and let him pull her out of the room._

 _He pulled her up against him and wrapped his arms around her. "How much longer you think?" he whispered in her ear._

 _She leaned back on his shoulder. "Probably not too much longer," she said. The contractions were starting to come more regularly, so she thought it wouldn't be too many more hours before it would be time._

 _He breathed in. "What's it gonna be like?"_

 _She thought back to when she'd had Maddie. "There still is a lot of waiting, but things will happen faster." She reached up and patted his arm. "I'll have a pretty fair amount of discomfort, as I recall, and when it gets closer to time, it'll seem like it's not stopping and you'll probably be worried, but don't be. I'll want to hold your hand and I'll probably squeeze it really hard." She turned her head towards him and smiled. "But it'll be because I'll really need you then."_

" _I'll be right there, baby."_

" _I know. And then, before you know it, he'll be here." She put her hands on her belly. "I can't wait to meet him, you know? It was like that with Maddie. It was a lot of pain and pressure and I was so ready for her to be out. But then there she was and all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and love her and take care of her. So I can't wait for him to be part of our family."_

 _Deacon was silent for a moment. Then he said, "I don't know how I got so lucky. To have you. And Maddie. And now Austin."_

 _She turned as much as she could and frowned slightly. "You deserve this, Deacon. All of this. We both do. This life. This family. Each other." She threaded her fingers in his and raised his hand to her lips. "We deserve this."_

Rayna reached over and took Deacon's hand as they sped over the highway. He looked over at her and smiled. She laid her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes, smiling to herself. She tightened her fingers around Deacon's, thinking that she had loved him more with each passing day, ever since the day she had met him in Algebra class in Natchez. He was everything to her – he was love, he was music, he was her soul. And the pretty little girl in the backseat and the tiny baby boy in the car seat were the expressions of that love. She and Deacon had come such a long way since they'd driven out of Natchez that long ago day.

Yes, they did deserve this. Every single moment of it.

 _ **A/N: Thanks to all for reading this! I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed imagining it.**_


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